Instigator
Points: 2

Rap Battle

Finished

The voting period has ended

After 1 vote the winner is ...
Wrick-It-Ralph
Debate details
Publication date
Last update
Category
Music
Time for argument
Three days
Voting system
Open voting
Voting period
One week
Point system
Four points
Rating mode
Rated
Characters per argument
30,000
Points: 5
Description
For voters, please use this system of voting
Arguments: Disses
Sources: puns/metaphors
Grammar: Rhyme/Flow
Conduct: the opposite of what conduct usually means
Round 1
Published:
You know what rhymes with elephant?/
irrelevant.../
you're a celibate/ incel, your dick/ is smaller than the tails of shrimp/
whereas I'm the most intelligent/ and eloquent/
and well equipped/ to saw your tusks off and sell the shit/
then skin your ass and turn you into belts and shit/
but your elephant pic/ doesn't smell legit/
I can't tell if it's/ a lie or just some ironic quip/
because elephants are the last thing that comes to mind when you unzip/

You know what rhymes with type one?/
always being right, son/
your wife smells like dung/ and mine has a nice bum/
I'm Eminem, you're rice gum/
you're a wannabe/ I'm a real MC/ the mic's gun-na need/
 medical attention by the time I'm done/

you'll never rap like I do/ if I wanted to die, dude/
I'd climb to/ the top of your ego, then jump down to your IQ/

my skills are astonishing/
I can sprout demonic wings/ fly over head, and drop atomic collard greens/
take this fuckin' dictionary, I don't even want the thing/
I'll dis-liveligate your existentational compositings/

I'll rape your fucking mother cause' moralty's subjective/
I'll pull apart her anus just to see how far it stretches/
and I ain't just into females, you too can get molested/
then I'll chop you up and eat you and I'll save a bit for breakfast/

I don't need reason, if you're human then I hate you/
I'll diss you just for coming out a stupid fucking ape's womb/
I'll choke you till' I turn your face to/ a blueish-grey hue/
then let you have some air, then let you have some aeroplane fumes/
and then I'll eat your liver and I'll let you have a taste too/
now let me cut your penis off and use it as my snake's food/

Published:
I AM an elephant, cause I don't forget shit.
Your rhymes only seem deep cause they suck elephant dick. 
Compared to the best in the world.
No rest I'm testin this world.
Can attest that I'm blessed with this shit.
When I spit your intestines will curl

There's a demon on your back, cause your slack rappin is whack
Crappin on top of your art, trappin the world in your fart.

Listen,
I glisten,
you steady dissin
I'm still persistent see

Bitch I ain't rappin that was the intro G.

Call me Ralph cause I wreck it check it respect accept.
But don't you ever forget it, I'm a vertern livin on debit.
You get your interest by credit, you better find you a medic.
My words are stormin so hectic, I might just vomit electric.

I might explode into awesomeness, My esophagus causin this
My mentality cautions it, no loopholes no clauses shit, I'm legit.

A technical spectacle flexin my pectorals, at your woman now she's over here straight petting my testicles.
and now she's screamin like she's drunk at a festival, Role playin all night, call me officer rest a hoe.
Bend her over trunk and blast that ass from the back til her chest explodes.
When I'm finish I leave her laying right back in the street where I left her though.

ooo, I'm a faster than a disaster, this bastard's mastered his trade.
Be very motherfucking afraid, or you might just get flayed.
filleted, and portrayed in a position that suggest it was murder.
Then you're thumped in a dumpster rolled up in a rug made of berber.

.    . 
Round 2
Published:
not bad...not good either, but not bad/
keep in mind I drank a six pack and smoked a whole pot bag/

before I started typing this/ you might thinks it's/ a bit strange/
your fourth bar is a nice fit bec-ause/ your words are like a shit-stain/
and as I'm typing this, I'm wiping it away/
and as I'm reciting this, I'm shooting lightning from my face/

Bitch/ I'll eat my fucking toddler/
I'm the sith/ I am your father/
I'm sonnin' you twice over, like tatooine/ you sack of bantha fodder/
you may as well pay to tattoo me/ on your daughter/
cause' I'mma fuck her- wait...shit, but she'd be my granddaughter.../
nevermind, but still your pussy ass is getting slaughtered/

I'm going to ass rape your grandmother and make you lick her clean/
then split your spleen/ and leave you in a communist regime/
See, I'm a bit extreme/  I'll bite your head like it's a nectarine/
and twist your genes/ till' you're transfiguring/ into a fish with wings/
I always say the most autistic, vicious things/
sadistic fiend/ I am the frickin' mean-ing/ of a sick disease/
I rip the pe-nis/ off of anyone who starts some shit with me/
And make you give me a kiss between/ the ol' twig and beans/

they kicked me out of the zoo for sexually harassing a chimpanzee/
feeding it candy/ and making it wear panties/
I smoke a fancy/ pipe and read all day, like british dandies/
thus my vocabulary's quite brobdingnagian as you can see/
I perforate your rectal sphincter abrasively and jam these/
manly/ nuts up in your fanny/ you get rammed, see/ 
it's a stampede/ I'm like Ramsay/ Bolton, sadistic as I can be/
I'm uncanny/ popping xannies/ sipping on some damn lean/
on a gram of amsterdam weed/ and enough ice to make a polar bear's pants freeze/
I'm smoking on that crystal meth, and snorting up the coke by the key/
my nose is looking sandy/ like I slept up on a damn beach/
and I shoot up heroin directly through my hands, feet/ and ass cheeks/
Published:
 
In actuality, My words will hollow out your pallet, See?
Judgements final when I'm brining down the mallet Flee!
Hmm, why you glitching? Your stories are fiction. 
You're itchin for a ditch inside your mind is addition

Your condition is envy, and I'm giving you and overdose. 
My contamination must be spreading to your mother, Woah!
I'll take your 8 bar raps and swallow them whole. 
Spit it out double the size with triple the flow. 


Here comes reality, waking you up from your blurry id dream. 
Nobody here is falling for this pyramid's scheme. 
Illuminati wannabe fake satanic meme. 
You're not even a challenge I'm just letting off steam. 

If you talked about physics as much as sex, you'd be a genius. 
If you evolved your behavior just a spec, you'd have a genus. 
But you can't appreciate because you can't speciate.
So you just depreciate until you are the flea she ate.

Ooooh Snap! you're nothing but a platter plate. 
Always talking about fucking, don't you ever masturbate?
Rub one out before you rape a cow, just do it for your family sake. 
Because if you keep on this path, you'll be in jail eating ol' Stanley's snake. 




 

Round 3
Published:
In actuality/ everything you say is a massive fallacy/
you lil' planetoid, thinkin' you can match a galaxy/

You want some physics speak?/ even your photons are electro-weak/
I'll break your neck and oil it so that your neck don't squeak/
you're a rusty can of shit that floated too long up shit's creek/
and I'm a total geek/ so I can give you the science you seek/

if X= dope, and Y=rap/ than Z must = you shutting your yap/
I could take a crap/ that has more skills than ralph/
in fact/ you'd probably rap better if I shat/ in your mouth/
so scat.../ I mean skedaddle/  run away from this battle/
run faster than Space itself is thought to travel/
when negative energy rarefies the OU map/

You say my raps are only eight bars...a claim you can't defend/
cause I counted them, their sixteens, your last round was only ten/
you rhymed "genius" with "genius" to show us what you're not, my friend/
I mean you're not a genius/ but you're also not my friend, and/
I'd never hang out with a guy who's penis/ looks like Ken's/
I mean, shit/ a quantum string would laugh at you, again/

how the fuck you gunna diss this/ with a midget/ dick and rickets?/
you're a chicken shit/ a witless twit/ a little wimp with bitch tits/
my ass is thicc, delicious/ like my dick so frickin' kiss it/
fore' I take your ass/ and break your shaft/ and rape your ass/ and rip it/
I'm a mystic/ with a greater staff/ than you have ever witnessed/
I'm so gifted/ with the ways of rap/ you'd wrap this shit/ for christmas/
but I digress/ I guess/ I can behave a tad ridiculous/
it's time I wrapped this up, and time I brang it back to physics/

From what vector/ would a nectar-ine/ enter/
your wife's ass from a trajector-y/ that's from the centre?
it would have to enter inter-dimensionally to get their/
cause' 3 dimensional space cannot facilitate this venture/

See what I did there? I'm so brainy and nice/
I can talk about sex and physics all simultaneous-like/
I'll stick 86 knifes/ up in your ani-us, yikes/
I'll inject my poison in your intraveneous pipes/
Published:
You talk about dicks a lot, so it logically followed.. 
That they're your favorite things, and without them you wallowed.
In fact you are what you eat so you're a dick and you're hollowed.
In fact you broke the world record in terms of quantity swallowed.. 

Of course I'm a geek dude, that's what I came here to do. 
To bite the heads off freaky deaky little chickens like you. 
Watch your headless corpse convulse before I crush you with my shoe
When I'm done I'm gonna chop you up and put you in stew.

Sixteen bar you say? oops, my mistake. 
They must have been so boring that passed out at eight. 
I must have got distracted that you like to rap about rape. 
I must have thought those lines were come-ons cause you keep talking about my grapes. 

You only talk about my dick cause you know it's the cleanest. 
You must own a tiny piano, cause you talk about micro pianists. 
It explains your whole act, your lack of quips and your meanness. 
and If you don't like planetoids bitch fly your ass back to Venus!!

 
Added:
Wow, I thought I posted my last rap earlier, lol. Good thing it saved.
Contender
#14
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
That guy (Gatis Lagzdins) agrees with RationalMadman's worldview in a lot of ways. He believes the earth is flat and we are in a simulation, where they differ is in the belief that raw meat is how you "ascend" to a higher level of the simulation VS RM's belief that there is a portal to other dimensions at the north pole.
Instigator
#13
Added:
Well that was definitely the wrong side of youtube, lol.
Contender
#12
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
If you want to see the "wrong side of youtube" to an extreme degree check out this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiC4qEqpqak
Instigator
#11
Added:
Gave me something to research when I get bored, lol. I'm a total google freak.
Contender
#10
Added:
Interesting .
Contender
#9
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
I wouldn't know but I don't think it is from what I've heard. There are a lot of "carnivore" channels on youtube these days, and I am not on the diet myself but I have learned some things from them. Apparently unpasturized milk is actually better for you as long as it comes from a super clean organic farm, obviously you wouldn't want the generic factory farm shit raw but the act of pasturization destroys vitamins and beneficial bacteria in the milk.
Instigator
#8
Added:
--> @Type1
No. Is it gross?
Contender
#7
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
lol nice. Have you ever tried raw milk?
Instigator
#6
Added:
--> @Type1
Well I don't know what officially makes one a rapper. But I'm a musician who can rap.
My written stuff is way better than what I did here, lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dDQLuyxk3k
Here's a funny one I did.
Contender
#5
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
Whoops my bad. You did well for someone who isn't a rapper. If you ever want to hear some good raps you can HMU or RationalMadman because he is also into rap.
Instigator
#4
Added:
I rhymed Genius with Genus. Not itself, sick rap though
Contender
#3
Added:
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
too late, I went full psychopath on this one lol.
Instigator
#2
Added:
--> @Type1
Be Gentle. My flow isn't sick nor is it funky fresh or lit. I'm not woke and I don't got that fire. The only disses I have are logical discourses. Lets do this.
Contender
#1
#1
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Better arguments 3 points
Better sources 2 points
Better spelling and grammar 1 point
Better conduct 1 point
Reason:
“You talk about dicks a lot, so it logically followed..
That they're your favorite things, and without them you wallowed.
In fact you are what you eat so you're a dick and you're hollowed.
In fact you broke the world record in terms of quantity swallowed.. “
My favourite diss here, cons we’re pretty good: disses to con.
Metaphors puns, I thought the physics side was good from pro - nothing con aside came quite as close. Puns to pro.
I preferred cons rhymes, the Flow was similar, though maybe a little edged out by pro, by ok balance imo cons rhymes were more enjoyable than pros.
I felt con was far more cutting than pro. Conduct to con.