Instigator / Pro
Points: 1

Rap Battle


The voting period has ended

After 3 votes the winner is ...
Debate details
Publication date
Last update
Time for argument
Three days
Voting system
Open voting
Voting period
One week
Point system
Winner selection
Rating mode
Characters per argument
Contender / Con
Points: 2
Anything goes.
No need to explain your votes. Funny comments are encouraged in the votes.
Lets do this.
Round 1
Now here's a Sparrow , that don't know about Jack. 
But you don't have a pirate hat , also your picture is whack.
It's just a bunch of triangles , that are strung out on crack.
But you're brave to take my challenge , So I guess you have a sack. 

You're an agnostic centrist? Can you even make a decision?
Has looking at both sides gave you a case double vision?
Cause you'd have to be blind to ever dare to envision. 
A situation where I didn't take you down with precision. 

I'm like a contagion, because I spread to those masses.
You're like a fat Caucasian because you fall on yo' asses. 
Yes that was a fat joke, you got it slow as mo' lasses
But this wasn't a waste at all, because I'm giving you flow classes

I'm absolutely PUNgent cause I stink at equivocation.
My ego is like money, cause it's prone to inflation. 
My mind is superior cause it has indignation. 
But you're blind and inferior like a brainwashed nation. 

Your Floor. 

Let the Mic cool off before you put your face near it.  
So first this bitch disses my pic, cause' he can't see what it is
on the perimeter is an image of the fishes I'll make you swim with
in the center, it's the shuriken your jugular will get hit with
the part I left out is my ass when you kiss it

next he tries to say I'm indecisive cause' I don't choose
to believe in claims for which there is no proof, so who's
the cretinous pleb who assumes there's no God, it's no use
you can't falsify the unfalsifiable, noob

centrism is politics in it's optimal rendition
like the eye of the storm when you're in tropical conditions
cause' politics is precarious with hyper-partisan politicians
refusing to compromise, sowing seeds of division

I've never rapped in my life but I'm snatchin' the mic from this packet of shite
snappin' ya right in half, and despite the fact that I wipe my ass with the type
of crap that you write, I appreciate this battle, if only you had the foresight
to realize I would destroy you with massive delight

Round 2
You say you're delighted, but I'm the one who's laughing hearty
The only optimal system is no political party.  
You think combining two bad systems makes you brutal and arty?
Only to hold back from the future? Gee, good job Marty.

You don't have a choice, but rather a blank disposition.
If you don't have a voice, then you can't shame my position. 
Pseudo skepticism's fallacious, learn to make a provision.
You can observe me, but you'll never know my superposition

That probably went over your head, like a neutrino particle.
I'm peer reviewed bitch.  I'm the genuine article.
I'm clinging to victory, Like a ship and a barnacle
I'm gilding the lily, like a ride at a carnival.

Your pictures under fictional in the dictionary 
Because you're about as real as soy milk is actual dairy.
My back is kind of hurting from supporting this factual carry. 
If I'm lying then I'm dying bitch, Just check the obituary. 


my tongue is like a razor, my fingers are like hooks
my words are full of flavour, my verse reads like a book
I savour how my sabre slices through your foot
then carves right through your wanker, and comes out through your butt

I don't really know Marty, but having no party, that's pricelessness
when you consider your own snarky diss about indecisiveness
what future can you build when you ain't even chose hardly a single position to stand behind and list?
I'll twist your spine around till' you smell your own farts, see? then I'll aim for your eyes and piss
I'm kinda sick when I rhyme like this
vaginas split from the size my dick is
you got the kind I squint in order to even witness
your bird left you cause' of that bite sized shit

and then to top it off ,the neutrinos, the superpositions
the only thing you got that's super is your stupor and stitions
you're just a pseudo-intellectual loser that's sittin'
at your computer and siftin' through pseudonyms to make it seem like you knew what you're spittin'
You're a boozer who's been neutered and I'm looser with writtens
your autism is a acuter than a slew of conditions
you're a user, an abuser of a slew of prescriptions
you've got a tiny cock and the IQ of a chicken
you do what you do due to addiction
I do what I do to construe beautiful rhythms
I'll choose a depiction of you that's more fittin'
so change your pic into an artistic rendition of a newborn kitten

now I'm really going try hard with my bars
sublime bard, stab you in the neck with broken rhyme shards
I'm by far the best, but time's hard to catch
who knows what kind of lyrics I'd architect
if that's where my bar was set, but I chose a different plan
a different trail to carve out and set, but you on the other hand...

try as you may,
everything you ever do will be stupid and gay

Round 3
I have my own set of views, so I choose to ignore thee 
At least I was brave enough to not have them chosen for me. 
I'm custom made bitch, You're just a blend of a corgi 
I'm Frankenstein's Monster, You're not even his whore G

Accusing me of pasting,  yeah boy, vent your catharsis. 
I do this off tops, I don't even know what a search bar is. 
You'd have to believe that, I blew your mind, that's what art is. 
You're sour like a jealous kid, now go eat that tart, SIS. 

I'm a
Master Exploder, I'm a Rock star Super Nova (Science and Music references)
I would destroy you at the coda, If I was deaf, dumb, and in a coma. 
I'm a successful odor, cause I give off a winning aroma. 
I would school you like this was league even if you had scripts AND a broken chroma. 

How does one beat a Sparrow? Simply a bow and an Arrow. 
Just catch that bird at the Narrow.  Now I have a cool hat to wear though. 
I'm sure you're aware bro, you ain't got a line left to spare, Bro!
voy a ganar esto si claro,, because you're easy to harrow.

(voy a ganar est si claro = I'm going to win this, of course.) 

your views weren't chosen, they were created
by a combination of an inflated ego contained in
a cranium that's brainless, and used as a waste bin
where all idiotic idea are thrown away in
your insinuation that I can't think for myself is amazin'
how can you think in the first place when your brain is a raisin?
my razor blade is perforatin' your face and my basement
is full of torture apparatuses, you're sitting adjacent
chained into a chair made of bones and sand paper, abrasive
because your naked and your wanks getting scraped and irritated
while your face is irrigated, abasement
pain and strangulation, rape and tangulation
of the intestinal tract,have you ever had sex with transexual bats
with your testicles wrapped in octopus tentacle ventricle tracts?
what am I sayin' of course not, you're not an illuminati mason
like me, who can get Jason to pee in his pants,
take his mask away and beat him with plants

finding  good rhymes in your cerebral is a game that
is more tedious than finding needles in a hay stack
you can bring your bow, cause you ain't hittin' what you aim at
you don't have no kind of flow in any of your gay raps

--> @Speedrace
No problem man. I know for a fact you voted on your own and RM shouldn't be flaming voters.
--> @RationalMadman, @Wrick-It-Ralph
Why don't you challenge Ralph to a rap battle and then make it so that you actually have to explain the votes? lol or agree on it beforehand and make sure he doesn't put it in the description
Also, I'm flattered that you used my vote as the foundation for yours :)
@Ralph Thanks for standing up for me haha
--> @RationalMadman
Have you ever considered the opposite disposition?
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
I am nice to those who goddamn earn it.
--> @RationalMadman
Spare me your needless sarcasm. I didn't ask him to vote and he'll vote how he votes. Seriously, you need to learn to wind down a bit. It's a rap battle. We're here to have fun and being contrarian all the time gets old. You won't disintegrate if you act nice for a bit.
Nothing wrong, of course there's no doubt he's nice as pie and will vote for you in our other 2 rap battles too nothing wrong at all. :D
--> @RationalMadman
I'm glad I could help :) honestly I thought your vote was funny and I was being sincere. The perfect symmetry of your counter bomb genuinely made me happy.
--> @RationalMadman
Also, I clearly said in the description that nobody had to explain their votes and that funny comments are welcome. So while you're entitled to your vote please do not insult speedrace who did nothing wrong in all of this.
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
Thanks, now I know why I voted.
--> @RationalMadman
Oh wow. You just made yourself look silly by not seeing it.
"You can observe me, but you'll never know my superposition"
Talking about how particles have "superpositions" and you cannot know their position until you observe them.
This was the reference was obviously too slick for you and thus.
"That probably went over your head, like a neutrino particle. "
Here's your prize. A line from the rap to take home since it fits you so eloquently
Wow!!!!!!!! You never mentioned Schrodinger or his cat, I guess I invented something, sorry I was tripping when I read this!!!! Oh god, fuck yeah look at me my reasoning is so legit!!!!!!!
--> @RationalMadman
Also, I don't advertise for votes. I prefer organic debates.
--> @RationalMadman
Actually, I blocked him on DDO for like three days a while back and we're more like friendly adversaries.
But I appreciate your vote nonetheless.
More voters = Better
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
You clearly are friends with this votebomber and the mods are too lazy as fuck to do anything about it so let's just publicly say I mean what I said about dislike the cat reference and I guess the rest of the rap doesn't matter and get away with it all yeah? Yeah.
I am not doing anything wrong, what a coincidence omg did he vote against the opponent with the inverted bs reasoning that doesn't require one to read more than 2 words of the debate by typng ctrl+f 'cat'? ??????? What? Wow, what a magic thing!!!!
--> @RationalMadman
lol, I like your dedication to vote symmetry.
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Winner 1 point
I felt both sides had a lot of rhymes that didn’t really fizz too well, with insults that didn’t seem particularly topical or innovative. I need something a little more interesting or funny that. “I’m awesome, your dumb” to vote on these. There we’re a few topical insults - captain jack for example - in the opening round, but most of the rest made me groan.
It was all pretty even back and forth until the final round: I don’t know whether to assign con points - or a councillor - it was messed up, weird and hilarious! Intestinal tangulation was a particularly interesting rhyme.
On these grounds, I would have assigned con one or two points if this was a 7 point system - but I have to assign a winne - and so that’s con here.
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Winner 1 point
I'm not good at making funny comments :(
But @Pro, I dislike the allusion to Schrodinger's cat :D
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Winner 1 point
I'm not good at making funny comments :(
But @Pro, I love the allusion to Schrodinger's cat :D