Instigator / Pro
Points: 6

Poetry Battle


The voting period has ended

After 2 votes the winner is ...
Debate details
Publication date
Last update
Time for argument
Three days
Voting system
Open voting
Voting period
One week
Point system
Four points
Rating mode
Characters per argument
Contender / Con
Points: 14
May the better ryhmes win. All insults in good fun, no profanity.
Round 1

Background music

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our venue. I urge the crowd to listen closely, because sophisticated  insults are on the menu. Our battle is all about class, I insist, my dear readers, there's no need to be crass. These debates don't yeild much for the Son, but even, I dare say, the most pious of saints need their fun.

My opponent is named Speedrace, but is this name suitable? I think my opponents rhymes will actually be quite slow, this fact is indisputable.  My opponent is a boy. A child  and a lad, but I   shall roast him with joy,  any  comebacks will be sad.

My opponent is a lightning bolt, so flashy, and so hot. But as the battle rages on, one will see my opponents just a tot.
My opponent likes to race, but if he wishes to continue, he's in dire need of grace.
Speedrace wants to be a lawyer, a man learned in law.
But I don't see a fancy future for him as this. I hope he learns to use a saw.

I shan't be so hard on the child, his manners are quite mild. It's just he needs some life experience, because the things I've seen are wild.
He has my respect, the kid's a budding apologist. But his debating style is conventional. I think we get the gist.

I have a special place for speedrace, because he tries to debate the heathen. But for the love of mercy, I've been fighting this battle since before he was even breathing. You see I'm like speedys overseer, I suppose you could call me his elder. The child has a bright future indeed, I see him as a welder


Thank you all and yes, this was intended to be light-hearted.

Hi, how ya doing? I hope you enjoy the show / I'll try to overcome my opponent's lack of tempo
I try to be organized, it's very eye-pleasing / and now, get ready, for the victory I will be seizing
And don't worry old man, I can go blow for blow / I'm certainly young, but at least I have flow!
I'm lightning, sir, and I know how to rap / All you are is the remains of Thanos' snap

My opponent makes all of his vote periods long / To hold off inevitably being proved wrong
Your idea of a diss is that you hope I learn to use a saw? / In that case, why don't you get a brush, a canvas, and learn to draw?

I hope you realize, now, from my lightning, you have been stricken / That's simply what happens when you play like a chicken
Get out of here, sir, you can't make a good roast / just like that chicken, you're about to be toast

I usually match my opponents line for line / But you're so easy, I already know the win is mine
Who needs effort when I have you? Your prospects are looking grim / Because, let's be honest, the only vote you'll get will be from RM
Round 2
Jiminy crickets! This battle won't be selling tickets! My opponent shows no eloquence, I say take him hence! My youngster battle rapper really just revealed the capper. There no class no style, this won't even take a while.

My opponent thinks this the hood, but son I'm playing Bach, you simply cannot think of a reply, my rhymes are like a rock. This really isn't the street corner, this is a place for gentlemen. My opponent doesn't even have facial hair yet, lad, go play in the den!

My opponent can't handle my stanzas, my ryhmes are too rich, my opponents twelfth birthday is right around the corner, I'll plan it without a hitch. My opponent simply cannot be a lawyer, the lad doesn't have the mind. This is called a drill, enjoy your daily grind.

My opponent isn't fancy, he doesn't even sound British. This is a real man rhyming, my opponets just too skittish.

***drops golden microphone ***

Before we start, let me make a correction. You must use an apostrophe to show any possession. I'll advise my opponent to continue at discretion, this is quickly going from a debate to a concession.

I am not British, but I am quite cultivated. I maintain a cool demeanor without becoming agitated. My opponent, however, is simply old and outdated. He may have the years, but I am the one who's educated.

Not only can I rhyme, but I can spell correctly. My opponent gave up on grammar abjectly. Don't let him trick you into thinking he's an intellectual. All of his actions are quite ineffectual.

My twelfth birthday's gone, but twelfth place is just ahead. My opponent is staring at fifty-first instead. I'm unclear as to why he sent me this battle. I'm speaking properly, he's resorting to prattle.
Round 3
Background music

By Dustandashes

Oh sweet humanity, I simply cannot take the insanity

I tried ever so hard, to bring a touch of class, to a world given to clash.

What did I find? My attempt, shattered like glass.

My opponent did not catch on, this was a chance, to smoke cigars and roast with words like "hither and yon"

Instead of elegance, I got a sing song and a dance.

My attempt, oh debate art,  stifled, my mind in a trance.

And who shall console me of these ills? Shall I be mocked? Am I not green around the gills?

My opponents lack of fancy, literally might kill me.  Putting me among the crushed

And now, debate art, I lay me down, to sit in the ashes.

To sit in the dust.

There I find my attempt. Shattered to sand. I go now, and move along to those who meet the demand.

To be fancy, to be eloquent, my opponent couldn't stand.


My opponent can't handle my class

He stays on a lower level and resorts to being crass

I only talk proper and stick out my pinky

He goo goo's and ga ga's and uses a binky

He insults me with his horrendous claims

He collapses into dust and ashes, his many names

At the end of this struggle, who shall get the blame?

Shall it be me, or him, who stayed tame?

My opponent can't take a single risk

He's afraid if he steps up, he'll slip a disc

I'm young and spry, I can jump and whisk

I am prominent and distinguished, he's categorized as misc.

I refuse to go down to that level

I am dignified and not disheveled

If you wanted me to give up, I'm sorry to disappoint

But, as the colloquial saying goes, I "run this joint"
--> @Dustandashes
--> @Wrick-It-Ralph
Perhaps you and me will, just once, find ourselves in the heat of rhyme combat
--> @Dustandashes
Holy Crap, Old Dusty is a Rap Titan
--> @Dustandashes
Oh ok, lol
--> @Speedrace
That's how we spelled it way way way back in the day before Webster.... Or incorrectly
--> @Dustandashes
Do y'all spell "rhyme" as "ryhme" where you come from?
--> @RationalMadman
Thank you, I appreciate that. I figured a little bit of light-heartedness would be good for the community. You had arguments in that debate that were definitely worth a response, it was just a matter of me being able to only respond to so much at once. Dropped arguments ever yield good debates.
All jokes aside, I respect you using the background music and making this be a thing. I also fully put effort into that debate even if you hated it, I enjoyed it.
--> @Speedrace
It's essentially a rap battle but we're going to try and sound as smart and sophisticated as possible. If you're interested
--> @Dustandashes
Is it rapping or poetry?
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Better arguments 3 points
Better sources 2 points
Better spelling and grammar 1 point
Better conduct 1 point
In the last Round, the most decisive difference between them is seen. Until the final Round, both were slipping up in different ways making a ton of half rhymes at times with internal rhyming being near non-existent but the last Round was fucking monstrous from speedrace, the flow was seamless as fuck.
As a reward, I will show you guys this masterpiece to comprehend flow better:
Criterion Pro Tie Con Points
Better arguments 3 points
Better sources 2 points
Better spelling and grammar 1 point
Better conduct 1 point
This wasn’t great by any means, I felt the insults were a bit lacking on both sides, with no outright zingers that me laugh out loud. The rhyming structure was often hard to follow for pro, and a little easier to make out for con, together with a marginally more interesting set of rhymes, and fewer fizzles from con makes me feel con just edged this one out: however due to how close it was, I’ll only be awarding one point to reflect how close it was.