Advice

Author: TheRealNihilist

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I keep messing up.
I try to do things at the best of my ability but what I am left with is my failing. This might be me over-emphasizing problems or maybe are actual problems which I am not doing a good job overcoming. This is very general so I will apply it to a context not the same but close enough.

I go to work. I have taken 2 days off from 4 due to illness. My employer I think thinks I am lying and has reminded me this looks bad on me and how much they needed me as well. Of course I have an illness used the medication and still I have the illness. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday to vent my frustrations out at him but it does seem apparent that my doctor is a f*cking dick. For one I am sure the f*cking medication doesn't work because of a more important problem he hasn't addressed. I have brought it up before and pretty much told me to wait and I waited. Every single Summer the problem exacerbates because of the more important issues comes in the way of the medication. He knows this but still hasn't done anything. Guess how many Summers including this one I had to deal with this sh*t? 5-7. That is not even including how difficult it is for me to sleep and he knows because he made me aware of the problem. He knew I had difficulty sleeping and still he hasn't done anything about it. This is implied because it doesn't take 7 f*ckin years to book me in for an operation and find the necessary staff to make it happen yet here I am the problem is still not fixed and other problem just pile due to the foundational problem.

I think this also impacted me mentally given the time frame 12-19 or 13-19 or 14-19. Time frame matters because this is almost the full window of puberty. I don't know how much of an impact this problem had given the transition period I was in because I was a teenager relying on my doctor to know what was good for me. Mentally in another way due to my sleep. It takes me at least 2 hours to sleep. I start at 12 and eventually go to sleep at 2. This would mean if I start school at 8 would mean I had only 6 hours of sleep before school. Playing video games can also be the problem but if I was able to sleep at 12 then I would have had 2 hours extra to sleep per day. Since I don't think I need to tell people how important sleep is I'll leave it at that. 

Any tips?  
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@TheRealNihilist
It might help to get a doctors note.


If your doctor isn't doing anything but chucking pills at you, it might be a good idea to get a new doctor.


Really, God helps. Find God.

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What sleep aids have you tried? 
TheRealNihilist
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@Mopac
It might help to get a doctors note.
If your doctor isn't doing anything but chucking pills at you, it might be a good idea to get a new doctor.
But then I would have to wait on another list. That d*ck must have either put me really low on the list or completely forgot to put me in. 
Really, God helps. Find God.
Didn't help me when I needed him the most. So f*ck him. Why do you think I was an atheist? Because I just wanted to rebel? No. I became an atheist when I didn't get an answer. When I waited long enough I saw YouTube videos online pretty much making it clear what I had thought already. God didn't exist or doesn't have an impact in our world because it didn't answer me. I would say on one hand it was a good thing I was in a bad state due to the realizations I found about reality but in another I would be in a good state while being a Religious person. So basically I would have to pick being happy or being right. Of course I didn't get to pick instead was handed the cards I was given. If I had to pick again maybe I would pick being happy in the hopes I do come to the realizations I came when I wasn't. If you don't have happiness in life then what is the point of existing? I have been wondering that for a while and still have yet to find a single good answer. 
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@Polytheist-Witch

Don't know but I'll say no. 

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You don't know what sleep aids you have tried? Have you tried prescription medication? Have you tired melatonin? Have you tried mediation, warm milk, hot shower, exercise? Can you get the same education online and work when awake? Can you work different hours when you are awake? I am being serious.I am not a medical dr so I can't help with those. I can help you find a sleep solution or maybe even a time one. But it's not my job to help so take it or leave it. 
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Employers are typically pieces of shits. They should never guilt trip you for getting sick but damn near all of them do it. When a subordinate calls out to me, I just say okay. I don't ask for a doctors note or anything, and if they can't consistently come to work, I ask them what I can do for them to make it happen. If the problem seems unfixable, I just reduce their hours so I am not reliant on them and let them know they can get more hours when they get their shit together. Not sure why most employers are pieces of shits though
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@TheRealNihilist
You are not going to find God through external reasonings. Only through spiritual discipline.

"Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

And Christ also said, "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God."



And there is a real joy that comes from Christ, a joy that nothing in creation can even touch. It is not a matter of choosing between the truth and happiness. Quite the contrary, those who receive not the love of truth are cursed with strong delusion, delusion that leads to suffering and hell. It is only The Truth, and abiding in the Truth that one can have true joy.

So if you csre about what is true, that will work in your favor. What will work against you are your passions and vices. That is why it is important to practice spiritual discipline, even under the advise of a spiritual father. 









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@Polytheist-Witch

Have you tried prescription medication?
Doesn't work.
melatonin?
No.
Have you tried mediation, warm milk, hot shower, exercise? 
Meditation right? It doesn't work. Helps anxiety for the short-term but doesn't help with sleep.
Have tried warm milk, hot shower, exercise and they don't work.
Can you get the same education online and work when awake?
Don't know what you mean here.
Can you work different hours when you are awake?
No those are the times they need me the most.
But it's not my job to help so take it or leave it.
Okay. 
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@Mopac
You are not going to find God through external reasonings. Only through spiritual discipline.
Tried before. Didn't work which is why I am what I am now.

And there is a real joy that comes from Christ, a joy that nothing in creation can even touch. It is not a matter of choosing between the truth and happiness. Quite the contrary, those who receive not the love of truth are cursed with strong delusion, delusion that leads to suffering and hell. It is only The Truth, and abiding in the Truth that one can have true joy.
That joy was never found for me. 

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@Wylted
Employers are typically pieces of shits.
Yeah. 
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Have you tried prescription medication?
Doesn't work.
Ok good to know. 

melatonin?
No. 
Melatonin is the substance you body makes to help you sleep. It shuts your brain off. It's not a drug nor is it addictive. You can get it over the counter and basically take it 20 minutes before you want to sleep. Once you take it, you lay down and relax as best you can. Not getting up and not doing last minute stuff. I find it very effective. 

Have you tried mediation, warm milk, hot shower, exercise? 
Meditation right? It doesn't work. Helps anxiety for the short-term but doesn't help with sleep.
Have tried warm milk, hot shower, exercise and they don't work.
Ok

Can you get the same education online and work when awake?
Don't know what you mean here.
You mentioned class. I assumed you mean school can you do some classes online at night when awake. 


Can you work different hours when you are awake?
No those are the times they need me the most.
Would a job with different hours help? Some people are naturally night owls. My husband quit trying to work days and now just works nights. He does better cause he works in his sleep cycle. Is that an option. 




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@Polytheist-Witch
Melatonin is the substance you body makes to help you sleep. It shuts your brain off. It's not a drug nor is it addictive. You can get it over the counter and basically take it 20 minutes before you want to sleep. Once you take it, you lay down and relax as best you can. Not getting up and not doing last minute stuff. I find it very effective. 
I'll ask my doctor on Thursday.
You mentioned class. I assumed you mean school can you do some classes online at night when awake. 
I don't currently go but in that time frame I did go.
Would a job with different hours help? Some people are naturally night owls. My husband quit trying to work days and now just works nights. He does better cause he works in his sleep cycle. Is that an option. 
I am working 6pm till 12am. That was the only time I could work due to when they need me. 
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@TheRealNihilist
You never knew Christ, and your spiritual discipline was done in ignorance rendering it vain.




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@Mopac
You never knew Christ, and your spiritual discipline was done in ignorance rendering it vain.
Okay.

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Don't give up, you are still young. Go to an Orthodox Church. Talk to the priest. Ask him for books. Tell him how you struggle with belief, and then be honest about why. Don't give up. 

The answer you are really looking for is there. The church is a hospital.


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@Mopac
Don't give up, you are still young. Go to an Orthodox Church. Talk to the priest. Ask him for books. Tell him how you struggle with belief, and then be honest about why. Don't give up. 

The answer you are really looking for is there. The church is a hospital.
It won't help. I have already come to that conclusion and everything new I hear reinforces it. 
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So the main problem is being sick and missing work. Is your dr in a hospital or office?

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Well, it doesn't look like what you figured out is working.

So that is my advice. I hope that one day, when you realize that maybe you don't have it all figured out, you remember what I told you and consider that maybe you didn't really have that all figured out like you thought either.

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@Polytheist-Witch

So the main problem is being sick and missing work. Is your dr in a hospital or office?
Office.

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@Mopac
So that is my advice. I hope that one day, when you realize that maybe you don't have it all figured out, you remember what I told you and consider that maybe you didn't really have that all figured out like you thought either.
Okay. 
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Honestly If you are unsatisfied then I would say stay with this guy until you get established with a new dr. I would also try a dr in a hospital. They can move quicker and usually have bigger offices so you can see other dr in the office if you need to. After so many years you need a change sounds like. If you have health insurance ask you company for a list of dr that would maybe have your condition as a specialty. I don't know if you do therapy but a counselor might help you too with anxiety. 
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@TheRealNihilist
A doctor's note wouldn't hurt. You might not need to get a full appointment to get one either. Just call his office up and explain that you need one. You could probably just drive there and pick it up.

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I don't know if you do therapy but a counselor might help you too with anxiety. 
I'll wait after I have completed the appointment with him. After that I would know what actually happen. 

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@Mopac
A doctor's note wouldn't hurt. You might not need to get a full appointment to get one either.
I can't. They are not really going to take that seriously and would fire in order to get the help they need. 

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I am pretty sure it would be illegal to fire you for your health issues, but maybe it would be good to look for other work.

If you don't mind me asking, what are these health issues?
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I hope you get it figured out. No one likes the possibility of losing their job and the money you need with it. There is a leave act where you can have so much time off work for medical without losing your job. Maybe a month or two would help?  
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I am pretty sure it would be illegal to fire you for your health issues, but maybe it would be good to look for other work.
Wouldn't know.
If you don't mind me asking, what are these health issues?
Don't want to say. 
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@Polytheist-Witch
Maybe a month or two would help?  
I would have actually wait until Thursday to see what he says before I can decide what would help in a given time frame.
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Good luck .