Final Post

Author: bsh1

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This is intended to be my final post on DART.

I am now no longer a mod. This will be the first time I can say this since, essentially, the inception of moderation on the site. I am not sure how to take it yet, but I just need to keep moving, and doing my best to survive. I think with all the recent controversies (e.g. Hammer, Press), some family issues, and a few other factors, this was the best time to step aside. I am not sure that stepping aside was best for me, but I believe it will be for DART. 

I have said my goodbyes to most of you. There are a few of you I have yet to reach out to--you are the ones it is hardest for me to say farewell to. When I return for a day or two at Christmastime, I will say those last few goodbyes then. I can't really bring myself to face that prospect yet.

I just want to say that I loved DDO and DART and the community's the made them so vibrant. I have made so many friends here--I appreciate you all. I have also made some enemies, and to them I say, touché. I will now need to be en garde for the next phase of my life.

But I will--and I mean this with absolute sincerity and sadness--miss being here every day, talking to you every day, posting here every day, working here every day, and debating and playing mafia with you when I could. This place and you all have literally been a constant feature of my life for almost a year and a half, and so it is impossible for me to walk away now without feeling pangs of regret.

Please don't remember me for my failures--which were many and spectacular. Please don't remember me for my successes, which too were spectacular. Instead, remember me not at all. For if I never existed here, really, as I feel now that I have, then it will be easier for me to fade away.

With that, I want to wish all of you well. Live large, live free, live happy. Never stop discussing, never stop debating, and never stop being a community that cares about each other. DART is awesome; keep it that way. Goodbye.

Aloha with love,
Brian (Bsh1)
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@bsh1
You should always be ready and on guard for all phases of life, including the periods of rest where being on guard is hopefully not required.

You don't have to quit the website over this and you don't have to ask us to forget you either. You will be remembered even if you want to be forgotten by those that knew you and even in passing later on. The mods of the future will mention in passing at the very least, you were after all the website's first mod and you were impeached on top of that making you legendary for two different reasons.

You own the HoF thread's creation credit and a couple of other pinned threads too, so don't expect anyone to 'forget' you for a long time. It is you who will have to work on forgetting us, if you can. It is also you who will eventually need to come to terms with loving yourself in spite of your flaws, in spite of saying the comment and a few other errors you made along the way.

Do that and you will improve as a person beyond anyone's belief, trust me I would know.

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@bsh1
Dear Brian,

I, along with everyone else on DART, will miss you deeply.

Sincerely,
Your "Victim"
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@Annie_ESocialBookworm
Dear Annie,

Thanks to your continuous, tireless effort and profound consideration for the 16/17 year olds of the planet, DART has now been saved from the dirty, grimy, grubby hands of one Brian Pedomeister. I thank you very kindly for this great service you have done in the name of justice.

Sincerely,
Bsh1's "victim"
Lunatic
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I hope this is just a break, and you come back. You obviously have a lot of friends here, I don't think you should quit if you enjoy the site! But I understand with the stuff going on in your real life if you wanna step back. At the very least maybe play some mafia? I was looking forward to playing in your game lol. 

Vader
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So long...partner

Vader
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Discipulus_Didicit
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@Vader
Run away bsh1, be free

Made me think of this:


Vader
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Really? I was thinking more of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ3l7CEmv7g
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@Vader
Hm, I yours has more of a 'happy ending' feel though and I am not getting much of a happy ending feel from this OP due to this quote:

I am not sure that stepping aside was best for me, but I believe it will be for DART.

I think this quote fits the last 2 seconds of my selection pretty well.
Vader
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Fair enough
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@Vader
Not that I think it likely that bsh1 will be returning as a member (though I seem to be in the majority when I say that I think he should if he wishes) but the unhealthy 'making decisons for the sake of others rather than oneself' aspect is there.
Discipulus_Didicit
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@bsh1

I mean ffs kid, you even have RM (Yeah I said his name, f'kin fight me speed IDGAF) you even have him, the guy that criticised everything you did as a mod (and took all criticism leveled at him personally so you know he meant for you to take his criticism personally) saying you should come back as a member of that is what you want.

I know you won't be responding to this but if you read it... I mean fuck man. What the fuck.
Dr.Franklin
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goodbye
RationalMadman
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@Discipulus_Didicit
I do not take constructive criticism personally, I take bullying personally. Until you know the difference, you will remain a toxic personality.

Let me give you a clue as to the difference:

Constructive criticism is given to the person in a blunt manner as a necessary evil to deliver a true analysis.

Bullying happens to have criticism, often exaggerated or untrue, as a necessary evil to deliver a painful series of intimidating and painful attacks to the person's self worth and peace of mind.
ethang5
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....and to them I say, touché.

Bye Bsh1
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So, just so I understand the situation: you resigned your Mod post, and then outright quit the community you've been a very active part of for 5-7 years, on account of one joking comment that some people took offense to?

What bullcrap. THIS is what's wrong with contemporary society. We live under a blanket, intent on suffocating us with greater prejudice than the Mosaic Law. Anything that there's a digital record of, whether written during an immature or crazy phase in one's life, or in a moment of provocation not indicative of regular behavior, or a comment made in a moment of poor judgment, will be used by a judgmental mob of equally problematic people to define the totality of one's being and his (perceived) rightful standing within a given space.

Come back this instant, tell the haters you're not going anywhere, and leave it at that. Every time somebody like you capitulates, that reinforces this toxic mob-think, the idea that it's okay to arbitrarily hold some people up to a standard that most people couldn't hope to pass.
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@Swagnarok
I agree man, I agree
AvoidDeath
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bye
Tejretics
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I'm so sorry to hear that, and about your loss.

If you ever do see this: I wish you well. And if we can find a way to keep in touch (if you somehow see this), I would appreciate that. 
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@Tejretics
+1 pls
Greyparrot
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you will be back.

22 days later

Dr.Franklin
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what a disgrace, Come back and show your not going anywhere, when life runs you over,DONT GIVE UP AND CALL IT QUITS

14 days later

bsh1
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I hope you all are doing well. As I have said previously, I am back for a few days. I plan on spending about 2 days here, and certainly no more than a week, at which point I will be permanently leaving. This return will be brief, and I do not intend to be active in the forums. If you have something to discuss with me or want to chat, please PM me. Thank you.

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@bsh1
:( merry christmas
SirAnonymous
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@bsh1
Merry Christmas!
Vader
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@bsh1
Feliz Navidad. Glad you are doing well and great to see you return :)
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@Vader
All I did was read your comment, and that song is immediately stuck in my head. Good thing I like it. Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad.

bsh1
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@Vader
My return is only temporary. But it's nice to see you as well.
Vader
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@bsh1
I assumed. Still a formal greeting is nice