if your dick or balls are too fucked up, you can't enter the assembly of the lord

Author: n8nrgmi

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n8nrgmi
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"“If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD." deuteronomy 23

does that also mean said person can't enter heaven too? 

plus i dont understand the wisdom in this teaching?

please, teach me what i am missing here

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@n8nrgmi
For troubling passages like this, I do suggest looking up a commentary. BibleHub.com is pretty good for that, if you enter the verse it'll give a bunch of translations and commentary https://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/23-1.htm

I'm of course sure someone here will explain it all. I admit to not understanding the implications of it either.
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@n8nrgmi
please, teach me what i am missing here
Your missing faith in nonsense.

Yeah as we journey through the valley of existence, we may lose a testicle or penis here or there on occasion.

Fear not as many of Gods/Universe's creatures have not testicle or  penis.

Man is not a measure of his testicle or penis........h,mmmm, actually he may be in some cases.

I'll have to get back to you on that one :--)


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@n8nrgmi
I guess castrated people don't go to heaven.
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I find this troubling, because it suggests that those with disabilities (‘defective in appearance’) should be excluded. Which is just outright offensive.
What worries me is that people are spending an awful lot of time doing complicated somersaults to try to get round the thorny issues and still claim that Scripture is ‘perfectly true.’ Though he’s speaking tongue in cheek, Frank does make sure he nails his colours to the mast before he plays Devil’s Advocate in the interview:
I hereby solemnly declare before God, angels, and mortals that I believe in the Holy Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, the 66 books of what we call “the Bible” or “biblical canon.” I believe that they are fully inspired, true, and reliable.
You only need to look on the ‘statements of belief‘ on any (US) church website to see similar things written, which boil down to: Don’t worry, there’s nothing to see here! We’re good guys – just like you! So breath easy now!
As I commented on Frank’s post: my fear is that people are expending energy convincing others that they believe that Scripture is inerrant, that hell is for unbelievers, that crushed testicles are no good in church, not because they truly believe it, but because they cannot countenance the flak that would come their way, and the exclusion they would experience if they admitted what they were really thinking. In other words, getting back to Deuteronomy, they don’t want their balls broken, because that means being thrown out.
The result of this: the defence of Truth has perpetrated a lot of lies. A lot of bluff. And that just seems wrong somehow.
[I think this has been one of the differences between UK and US emerging churches. In the US, communities seem more keen to be seen to be kosher, to still be holding orthodox views on the central tenets in order that they can be accepted. Whereas in the UK I think people have been a bit more free to deconstruct things more radically, though that’s just my own perception.]


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@n8nrgmi
Maybe it was like some medieval punishment where they'd chop your balls off if you were a thief.
disgusted
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if your dick or balls are too fucked up, you can't enter the assembly of the lord

Are you OK with this thang?

RationalMadman
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Good thing that mine are fucking beautiful.

19 days later

Dr.Franklin
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Good thing that mine are fucking beautiful.

Jesus Christ, WHY
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@Barney


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Ragnar,

YOUR QUOTES:  "For troubling passages like this, I do suggest looking up a commentary. BibleHub.com is pretty good for that, if you enter the verse it'll give a bunch of translations and commentary https://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/23-1.htm I'm of course sure someone here will explain it all. I admit to not understanding the implications of it either."


To a true Christian like myself, the said passage is no more troubling than our Yahweh God's serial killing flood and Noah having 1.2 million different animal species upon the Ark!  The bottom line is that the handicapped are not welcome within godly confines, like heaven and churches. What is terrible is the link that you gave with "a bunch of translations," therefore, which one is the true word of our Jesus, as the Hebrew Yahweh God incarnate?

There is no room for what our Jesus said once, whereas He didn't mean for the true Christian to take in many different and contradicting ways! The passages says what it says without any ungodly spin doctoring, praise! “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.“ (Proverbs 30:5) 



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Barney
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@BrotherDThomas
You make a good point. We should look at it in the perfect original non-translated text, and not try to understand it within the ungodly English language... This should not be confused with studying said languages, but literally just stare at the pages until God makes us understand.
disgusted
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@Barney
I'll try to get around to that but I do have a sock drawer to sort.
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@Barney



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Ragnar,

YOUR SEEMINGLY SARCASTIC QUOTE: "You make a good point. We should look at it in the perfect original non-translated text, and not try to understand it within the ungodly English language... This should not be confused with studying said languages, but literally just stare at the pages until God makes us understand."


The trouble with your quote is the fact that many pseudo-christians have allegedly understood the Bible using the English language, whereas, how many different "interpretations" of the Bible are available at this time, and where the comedy resides in all are considered godly correct? Yes, there are hundreds of versions of the Bible in the English language alone, and the Bible has been translated into more than 2000 languages, but remember, they are all correct. A far cry from the King James 1611 as the first Old and New Testament interpretation!

Yes, it is shown that many have "stared at the pages" and waited for our ever loving and forgiving Hebrew Yahweh God to make it understood in what He was trying to say to his followers, aka, many divisions of Christianity where again, all are correct in their eyes of their divisions.  As Homer Simpson once said: "What if we picked the wrong religion and make Yahweh madder?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg-AjdCpsvo



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SirAnonymous
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@BrotherDThomas
Firstly, glad to see you back. You'd been offline long enough I thought you quit.
A far cry from the King James 1611 as the first Old and New Testament interpretation!
Actually, the first complete English translation of the Bible was finished 300-400 years before the KJV by William Tyndale.
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@SirAnonymous


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SirAnonymous,

I am on the road most of the time with my "Salvation Bus" preaching the true Christian Bible, along with my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries, my Nevada State Brothel Ministries, and my ever so popular Nudest Camp Ministries as well, I have limited time within this fine godly forum.

Let us not forget, William Tyndale was not able to complete the entire Old Testament before he was put to death by the Satmoc Catholic Church in 1536. He completed Genesis through 2 Chronicles, plus Jonah, which is 15 of the 39 books. After his death the translation of the Old Testament was finished by other men and the entire Tyndale Bible was published in several editions, primarily the Coverdale Bible, the Matthew’s Bible, the Bishops Bible, the Geneva Bible, the Great Bible, and finally the King James Bible of 1611. 

Therefore, I stand corrected by your enlightenment, and I can only ask why Jesus didn't inform me of this error in prayer.



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SirAnonymous
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@BrotherDThomas
SirAnonymous,

I am on the road most of the time with my "Salvation Bus" preaching the true Christian Bible, along with my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries, my Nevada State Brothel Ministries, and my ever so popular Nudest Camp Ministries as well, I have limited time within this fine godly forum.
Makes sense.
Let us not forget, William Tyndale was not able to complete the entire Old Testament before he was put to death by the Satmoc Catholic Church in 1536.
You're right. I'd forgotten that he wasn't able to finish it himself.
Therefore, I stand corrected by your enlightenment, and I can only ask why Jesus didn't inform me of this error in prayer.
It's not a very important error.
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YAY BrotherD is back!
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Circumcision maybe? Idk but I learned that your body should not be destroyed from the way god made it
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@n8nrgmi
if your dick or balls are too fucked up, you can't enter the assembly of the lord

Did this also apply I wonder to those who had there "dick or balls too fucked up" due wars commanded by the  Lord himself?

And it is also odd  that again,  on the command of the Lord infants have their foreskins ripped from them for no medical reason what-so ever.  Maybe the "assembly of the Lord" was getting overcrowded, "no room at the inn" , so to speak?







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@BrotherDThomas
So where is the original untranslated text?
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@Vader
God has a circumcised head.
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@zedvictor4

So where is the original untranslated text?

I am not sure that "Assembly of the Lord" has ever been explained. Certainly not by Christians as this was a dictate to the Hebrews of Moses' age. 

This may be it?  Deuteronomy 23:1


No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the LORD.

“If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD.

“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the LORD.

No man with crushed or severed genitals may enter the assembly of the LORD.

"No one who is emasculated or has his male organ cut off shall enter the assembly of the LORD.

“He who is emasculated by crushing or mutilation shall not enter the assembly of the LORD.

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

"No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may enter the LORD's assembly.

If a man's private parts have been crushed or cut off, he cannot fully belong to the LORD's people.

"No man who has been castrated or whose penis has been cut off may be included among the LORD's people.

No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may enter the LORD's assembly.

"No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may participate in the assembly of the LORD.

A man with crushed or severed genitals may not enter the assembly of the LORD.

No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off may enter the assembly of the LORD.

A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the LORD.

He that is crushed or maimed in his privy parts shall not enter into the assembly of the LORD.

“No one who is emasculated, or has his male organ cut off, shall enter the assembly of the LORD.

He that is wounded in the stones or is castrated shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

He that is a eunuch by crushing or mutilation shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

He that is wounded in the stones, or has his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the assembly of Jehovah.

He that is fractured or mutilated in his private parts shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord.

An eunuch, whose testicles are broken or cut away, or yard cut off, shall not enter into the church of the Lord.

He that is a eunuch, whether he have been crushed or cut, shall not come into the congregation of Jehovah.

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the assembly of the LORD.

He that is wounded or mutilated in his secrets, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

He who is wounded in the stones, or has his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the assembly of Yahweh.

'One wounded, bruised, or cut in the member doth not enter into the assembly of Jehovah;

Discipulus_Didicit
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@BrotherDThomas
along with my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries, my Nevada State Brothel Ministries, and my ever so popular Nudest Camp Ministries as well,

Room for one more?
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@Discipulus_Didicit



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Discipulus_Didicit,

Yes, there is always room for one more, especially when referring to my Nevada State Brothel Ministries, where one takes a missionary position to preach the Gospel to the courtesans that inhabit the dens of iniquity in this ungodly state. I have been saving these harlots since 1999, where the pleasure is accepting Jesus in your life, instead of laying down on the job with the pleasures of being paid exorbitant sums of money for performing uninhibited, kinky, phenomenal, and memorable sex acts.


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Discipulus_Didicit
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@BrotherDThomas
the pleasure is accepting Jesus in your life, instead of laying down on the job with the pleasures of being paid exorbitant sums of money for performing uninhibited, kinky, phenomenal, and memorable sex acts.

Oh yes, praise Jesus.

But uh... We get to at least try the other side of the coin first right? Just for like a week or two? Maybe a month? Just to make it easier to relate to the target audience and convert them I mean. All for the glory of Jesus.
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@Discipulus_Didicit


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Discipulus_Didicit,

What I have unfortunately found out over the years, is that the harlots in the brothels in Nevada will not waste their time in talking about my serial killer Jesus the Christ without paying cash up front, in other words, you have to book time with them before they will see you.  Therefore, I am sure Jesus understands the situation, so I pay the amount they want from the collection plates that I have received and engage them about our Savior.  Subsequent to them undressing, well, I am there, so I kill two birds with one stone, I get what they have to offer in two minutes, and as I am dressing, I use that important time period to tell them about Jesus!  

It's a win-win situation, and since Jesus says I am always forgiven for my sins (Acts 10:43), where there is really no incentive not to sin, therefore I continue my Nevada State Brothel Ministries for Jesus and myself, praise!

There is no time limit for the saving of the whores of Babylon in the god forsaken state of Nevada, its a continuous spreading, of the Gospel that is, and since I was called by Jesus in prayer years back to perform this godly act in His behalf, I praise Him! THANK YOU JESUS!

I have a 15ft Salvation bus, and it can really get crowded at times when I ferry these courtesans to the Reno airport to leave, or when they come into the area to inhabit various brothels. So, if you don't mind 4 or 5 19-21 year old starlets in very revealing attire, especially in the summertime, let me know and we can possibly set something up for the future.

It truly is very hard to preach the gospel of Jesus at times, but I am here to do just that, praise Jesus!


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Discipulus_Didicit
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@BrotherDThomas
It sounds like you are truly doing God's work brother. Keep it up! Praise Jesus!
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@Discipulus_Didicit


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Discipulus_Didicit, 

When doing Jesus' work within the brothels of Nevada, I always try and keep it up.



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ethang5
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Lol.

The sense of humor of sadists is hella funny.

14 days later

n8nrgmi
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@ethang5
you're pretty good at defending the bible. what do you think of the verse in the opening post?