Environmental Wacko Divisional Predictions

Author: SirAnonymous

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Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment. It is not intended to parody any specific person, nor is it intended to be an accurate representation of the environmental movement. I am entirely aware that no one actually thinks like this (I hope, anyway). This is completely satirical. I do not believe any of this, nor does any of this reflect my viewpoints in any way.

Record: 27-31

There is still a chance to save the environment if all our predictions are right from hereon out. We can't give up now!

Vikings vs. 49ers
Horrors! Warmongering white men (we're against warmongering since a Republican is in office) against capitalist white men! I ca- I- I can- I CAN'T EVEN! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least the Vikings don't abuse the environment like the 49ers did by mining
Vikings: 13. 49ers: 6.

Titans vs. Ravens
I can't believe I have to say this. Of course the animal wins against mythical gods. What do you think we are? Brainwashed, hyper-religious Pharisees? Of course not! This game clearly goes to the great black birds, who must be protected and cannot be criticized. For Gaia!
Titans: 0. Raves: 56.

Texans vs Chiefs
Slave owners against a symbol that they culturally appropriated. White people are just so racist when they culturally appropriate Native Americans. Even slavery isn't as bad as that.
Texans: 10. Chiefs: 20.

Seahawks vs. Packers
Beautiful birds against meat packers. Do I need to remind you what meat is? No, I don't. You all know. There is no contest here. The environment wins every. Single. Time. Easy win.
Seahawks: 41. Packers: 14.
Dr.Franklin
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awesome
SirAnonymous
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@Dr.Franklin
Thanks. I just realized that I messed up. It was supposed to be Texans 20, Chiefs 10. Too late now.

8 days later

SirAnonymous
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1-3. I weep, not only at my failure to get a positive record, but my failure to even take the time to score this, let alone my failure to predict the conference championships. My unconscious bias against the environment is more than I can bear. Inwardly, despite my best efforts, I am still a monster who hates the environment. Worse, I am still human, the oppressive race that is destroying the earth. Oh Al Gore, forgive me!
ethang5
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Lol