2 Killed in Attack by a Guy with a Sword

Author: SirAnonymous

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SirAnonymous
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Two people have been killed and five injured by a guy dressed in medieval clothes wielding a sword. When the police apprehended him, he was "lying on the ground, barefoot and hypothermic." This is both tragic and bizarre.
oromagi
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mega-dosing peanut butter cups in full LARP never ends well
Dr.Franklin
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very peculiar indeed
Lemming
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Just a thing that happens now and then.
Tragic though.
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@SirAnonymous
Do you think he was just a druggie? Was he murdered? Was it murder disguised as a murder? I'm kind of interested by the pure strange circumstances of the case, is there any more information you can provide?
SirAnonymous
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@Theweakeredge
I'm afraid that's all the info I've got.
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@SirAnonymous
Well shoey, thanks anyways Anonymous

8 days later

skittlez09
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Two people have been killed and five injured by a guy dressed in medieval clothes wielding a sword.
a medevial night was prolly sucked in thru a time portal an got spat out and than became crazy and started to attack ppl 
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@skittlez09
Why would his sword come with him? His shoes didn't.
Utanity
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@ethang5
Why would his sword come with him? His shoes didn't.
That is a dumb question because you cant kill people with shoes and how do you know that he wasnt one of those scum muslims who throw their shoes at people then they got angry then he got his sword and killed them.
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@Utanity
Lol. Good catch Utanity!

Did the police find a pair of medieval shoes in the vicinity?

You seem to be the right age to be invited to become a mod here, too bad for you that you also seem to be a theist.
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@ethang5
Wait are you asking people if they want to become mods?
Utanity
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@ethang5
Lol. Good catch Utanity!

Did the police find a pair of medieval shoes in the vicinity?

You seem to be the right age to be invited to become a mod here, too bad for you that you also seem to be a theist.

I think you are taking mikey again because you are jellies what I catched you out and why do I want to be a mod when they are scum atheists and they  weared pointed shoes and shiny tight suits anyway and I would not wear those things anyway.
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@Theweakeredge
Wait are you asking people if they want to become mods?
Nope. I have no power here, just a regular member.

But depending on your age, you might be invited soon. Shucks, you might already  be being evaluated. Let me check your profile.

You are...
Male ......check
Progressive .......check
Gay .......check
Atheist .....check
Below 18 ......check

Dude, you can be a mod here anytime you want. Seriously, no one has approached you already?
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@ethang5
Oooooh I see. 

This is satire. Of course it is. 

Forgive me for not noticing sooner I'm tired

MisterChris is very not progressive.

He's also 18

And I think straight? I have no idea.
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@Theweakeredge
And I think straight? I have no idea.
Weren't you the one who said 60% of "straight" men are hiding homosexual desires?

This is satire. Of course it is.
Yeah. Let's call it that.

Seriously, no one has approached you already?

I retract the question. You've been friendly and polite so I don't want to jam you up.

Be careful.
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@ethang5
No, I quoted it from someone else, I agreed with the studies and the conclusions, some of his reasoning is a little suspect but not ultimately important. 
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@Theweakeredge
Do you think most straight men are hiding homosexual desires? What percentage would you say?
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@ethang5
As in, wanting to have sex with other dudes? I don't think half have that, but I could be wrong. There isn't a definitive way to measure that except to ask people, and that wouldn't be conclusive. So I wouldn't really make an assertion either way.
Utanity
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@ethang5
Do you think most straight men are hiding homosexual desires? What percentage would you say?
Only homosexes they ask that because they dont no when to hide in the closet and worry all the time but when you no the true God you are never in the closet.

39 days later

Jasmine
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wth