Coming out of the closet

Author: Bringerofrain

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I don't want to come out in real life to my family, but I just want everyone here to know I am gay. I might not be able to be myself in person, but at least online and anonymously I want to be able to be open about my homosexuality. Is anyone in a similar situation where they are forced to hide their sexuality from their family?
Lemming
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@Bringerofrain
Wouldn't say I have that issue with sexuality and my family myself, if I 'was gay, I think I'd find it easier to come out gay, than as an atheist to my family.
Though my eldest brother might glower briefly before accepting it still loving me and trying to convince me not to be gay, my mom would accept it, maybe be bit worried about me I'd imagine. Dad would accept it, maybe make some crude jokes or inappropriate comments, meaning well, but being  a boor. Sister'd probably think weird, still love me. Not sure how my second brother'd react.

Still, atheism bother me more, hm, maybe it's just because I am atheist but not gay, so I feel the concern of the issue that is mine, rather than the other one I theorize.
Atheist coming out, may turn out pretty much the same I think the if I was gay coming out would go.
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@Bringerofrain
If you're really 32 years of age and show no interest in the opposite sex, then I expect that you family and friends already suspect.

Is your immediate society so oppressive?
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@zedvictor4
I don't feel that is very polite.  I for one would not anyone trying to deduce anything about my personal life based on whatever I put in my profile.
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@Puachu

I think that Zed's comment was just an accurate observation.
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@zedvictor4
Maybe, but I have a wife and am a known "player" so that might have thrown them off my scent
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@Bringerofrain
I didn't come out to my family until I was 25 and after attitudes had changed significantly.  I was raised Roman Catholic and I was taught that homosexuality was not just a crime and a sin but a corrupt betrayal of family and community.  I was dating a lawyer and going to a lot of political events and one night we  confronted our governor in the street and ended up on the evening news.  So I figured I better tell my family before the neighbors told them.
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@oromagi
That's one of the downsides and upsides of being young. That spunkiness
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@Puachu
If you don't want people deducing things, then limit what you give away on line.....Because once it's out there it's out there.

I just say things as I see them.
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@Bringerofrain
It's interesting that such dilemma and taboo still exist in these enlightened times.

Says a lot about American society, and it's insular and conservative sub-societies.




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@Bringerofrain
Personally, I had some troubles with that, coming out that is, especially to my uber-religious dad. I did come out, and I won't share what the people close to me reacted, because everyone's close ones are different and you know them best. Even though we don't agree on a lot of stuff, I do want to voice my support for you, take your time - you own no one your identity. 

7 days later

RationalMadman
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This may have been one of the only honest threads Wylted ever made about himself.

674 days later

PREZ-HILTON
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This may have been one of the only honest threads Wylted ever made about himself.
Apologize for this homophobic statement 
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@PREZ-HILTON
Nothing about that statement was homophobic. The fact you take it as insulting is the true homophobia.

Fool.

50 days later

Rosalie
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Don’t care what other people think, that was the toughest person. If the people you so call friends or family do not accept it, then they aren’t truly interested in your best interest. It’s better to have people around you and to support and to love you, then “family” who do not accept you for who you are. 
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@Rosalie
I think that's a 'bit a fair point,

But at the same time,
If the family thinks the life choice is wrong,
Are they wrong to be against it?

Drugs for instance,
Doesn't seem wrong to me for family to be against drug use,
Sure a drug user could hang around other drug users, who accept and encourage the drug use,
Maybe the other drug users even care about the person,
. . .
But it seems wrong to encourage/enable action in a family member, when one considers that action wrong or harmful.

I don't mean to say being gay is or is not, wrong or harmful,
But that some people's 'perception of it being so,
Can explain their not 'accepting it.
. . .

Well, I'm going to bed now.
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@Lemming
I would not consider it “enabling”. 
A lot of people who have yet to come out of the closet don’t because they fear that their family will shun them. In that case, I believe it’s very selfish on the family side to shun out their own child, because they disagree on something they could have never prevented. 

Your family may be against homosexuality, and still treat you civil. Or, they could totally be outraged and shun that person out. In this case, you honestly don’t need those type of toxic people in your life. Your parents should love, protect and support you no matter what gender you’re interested in. 

As far as your example for drug users, I would say that is completely unrelated to a situation whereas someone is scare to “come out of the closet”. The effects of drugs and drug usage has nothing to do with someone else’s sexuality. Nor does being gay harm you, or harm anyone else around you. 
Deb-8-a-bull
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@Lemming
#16.      Awsome post man. 

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Post #17.   A beautiful return....... 

You two should fight. 
Fight, fight, fight. 
Anddd go
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@Deb-8-a-bull
Better to naked mud wrestle.
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And out of the closest he comes .

I knew you had a thing for mud wrestling 
I fucking knew it. 

Its fine. 
2023.
This changes nothing between us.  

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I feel that gay people stole the phrase 
Coming out of the closest. 

Its not very nice. 
The already have the rainbow colors 
Lemming
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@Rosalie
Arguably it could be prevented,
In two possible ways.

One is the theory of nature and nurture,
It's my view that people's sexual preferences are a mix of their genetics and experiences,
Though not everyone agrees with me,
And place sexuality purely in genetics.

Other way is action,
There's the argument that though some individuals may be attracted to kids,
They don't need 'act on that attraction.
(I'm not saying that being gay is equivalent to pedophilia,
It's just an argument on self control)
. . .

Certainly I admire strong family ties myself,
Even in times of disagreement.
. . .

I'm still thinking on morality in society, and the definition of harm.
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This thread is gay.
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@Lemming
I'm going to shamelessly participate in this thread necromancy.

And place sexuality purely in genetics.
If it was, sexualities which don't produce children would have deleted themselves already. Also for continuous traits (like say skin melanin) a single gene never predicts as they are "quantized" (see Mendelian inheritance)

It's my view that people's sexual preferences are a mix of their genetics and experiences,
In a sense, genetics is always relevant. Genetics built everyone's brain, the range of possibilities is thus constrained by genetics.

However, when one says "it's genetic" they mean there is a particular gene that is highly correlated with a certain phenotype. This is an extremely testable hypothesis and it is extremely disproven for sexual orientation (of any kind) or gender dysphoria, or just about any other mental disorder with a few exceptions.

There is the possibility that a certain set of genes could allow for certain "disorders" but they are not sufficient. i.e. you need the gene AND you need some nurture to predict it. That is what I think you mean here. This should also be fairly easy to detect, and it hasn't been.

I believe sexual orientation is induced in early childhood, some form of association occurs well before sexual systems come online and then later the "sexualizing" algorithm operates on those associations (or perceptions).

I have come to this (very loosely supported) conclusion by process of elimination. It isn't predicted by genetics, it doesn't appear to be predicted by gestation conditions, it appears to be immutable by the time of puberty. All that's left stimulus between birth and puberty.

It may be possible to one day characterize the relevant stimulus and remove them from childhood development, thus curing sexual deviancy.