That it strives towards altruism maybe even?This doesn’t seem like it should be controversial, but I know nde philosophy can subvert conventional philosophy and maybe you would say something like love ‘just is’ and not put qualifiers on it.I know one point that I think helps explain meaning and purpose on life, is some folks focus more on ‘being’ and some on ‘doing’. A purpose to be, versus to do. I would wanna say doing is loving and that’s sacrificial but being is just existing and something like being an artist instead of a saint.My bias is towards Christianity too, cause they say love embraces suffering while Buddhism avoids suffering. But even with this, Buddhism focuses on being even if Christianity focuses on doing
Is love inherently self sacrificial?
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This reflection goes deep into the tension between *being* and *doing*, *suffering* and *transcendence*, *love as action* versus *love as essence*. And you're right: NDE (near-death experience) philosophy, especially when compared to traditional theology or philosophy, tends to dissolve hard categories. It often leaves us with paradoxes, not propositions.
Let’s unpack this through a few lenses:
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### ❖ **Love: Does It Strive Toward Altruism?**
You're right to question whether love *“just is”* or whether it must strive, do, or sacrifice to be real. Many NDE accounts describe love as **the fundamental fabric of existence**—not just something we do, but what we *are made of*. So in that sense:
* **Being = love** (ontological reality).
* **Doing = love in motion** (ethical or relational expression).
But here's the trick: in many NDEs, even **"being" love** results in radical compassion and service. It's as though once people wake up to what they really are, they *can’t help but act in love*. So the doing flows out of the being, naturally. It's not coerced.
---
### ❖ **Christianity vs. Buddhism: Action or Detachment?**
You're not alone in feeling Christianity emphasizes **doing/loving through suffering**, while Buddhism emphasizes **being/non-attachment to avoid suffering**.
**Christianity** says:
* Love suffers with others (e.g., *"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends"* – John 15:13).
* Purpose often involves *sacrifice, vocation, calling*.
* Even God *does* love (incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection).
**Buddhism** says:
* Love is **metta** (loving-kindness), but rooted in *equanimity*, *impermanence*, *non-clinging*.
* Purpose is to wake up to being—not to fix the world, but to *see clearly*.
* Suffering arises from attachment, so avoid clinging—even to outcomes of love.
Yet, many **Bodhisattvas** in Mahayana Buddhism *do suffer* for others, and choose to return again and again to help. So even Buddhism has its *doing in being*.
---
### ❖ **Being an Artist vs. Being a Saint**
You said:
> “Being is just existing and something like being an artist instead of a saint.”
That’s a fascinating contrast. And maybe it's not either/or.
* The **artist** reveals beauty, truth, or the divine through *presence, perception, and expression*.
* The **saint** sacrifices, loves, and heals through *compassion, courage, and discipline*.
But the best saints are artists of the soul, and the best artists are saints of attention. In other words, true purpose might blend both: contemplative **being** that overflows into transformative **doing**.
---
### ❖ **Back to NDEs: Mission as Love**
Many NDErs return saying:
> *“The purpose of life is to love.”*
That love may take the form of a job, caregiving, writing poetry, cleaning houses, praying for the world, or quietly being a peaceful presence in a chaotic place.
Sometimes, *doing nothing* in the worldly sense, but being *deeply present*—that *is* the mission.
---
### ✦ Summary Reflection
You’re onto something with the contrast between “being” and “doing,” but perhaps they aren’t separate poles.
> “Being is the root. Doing is the fruit.”
And when love is real, it doesn’t stay still. It doesn't need to strive in a burdensome way, but it does naturally move outward. Whether through the path of the saint or the artist, love ultimately expresses itself—not out of duty, but because that's what it *is*.
Let's take the theme—**being vs. doing, love as essence vs. action, and how this ties to meaning and purpose**—and walk through it using both **Scripture** and **philosophy**.
---
## 🕊️ **SCRIPTURE: BEING & DOING IN LOVE**
### 1. **Love as Essence (Being)**
> “God is love.” – *1 John 4:8*
This isn’t saying God *has* love or *does* love, but that **God’s very being is love**. Love is ontological here—foundational to existence. This points to “being.”
And we, made in God's image, share that nature:
> “In Him we live and move and have our being.” – *Acts 17:28*
This suggests that our truest identity is not in action or status, but in *union with God’s loving essence*.
---
### 2. **Love as Action (Doing)**
> “Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” – *1 John 3:18*
And:
> “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – *James 2:17*
Here love (and even belief) *must express itself*. It must be lived. Jesus didn’t just preach; He *healed, suffered, wept, died*. Action is not just a product—it’s an inseparable part of love.
---
### 3. **Jesus: The Fusion of Being and Doing**
Jesus repeatedly *withdrew to lonely places* to pray and be with the Father (being), but then *returned to crowds*, feeding, healing, teaching (doing).
The Transfiguration (Matthew 17) is a striking moment of **pure being**—glory, stillness—but it’s followed immediately by a return to a broken world. The message seems to be: *we go up the mountain to be, we come down to serve.*
---
## 🧠 **PHILOSOPHY: BEING VS DOING**
### 1. **Aristotle: The Telos of a Thing**
Aristotle said everything has a *telos* (purpose), and the telos of humans is **eudaimonia**—flourishing through *virtuous activity of the soul*. It’s a union of being and doing.
* You flourish not just by existing, but by *doing what you were made for.*
* But this “doing” is tied to your nature (*being*)—you don’t force it, you fulfill it.
---
### 2. **Existentialists: You Create Meaning by Doing**
Sartre: “Existence precedes essence.”
This view flips things: you aren’t born with a predefined essence; you make yourself through your actions. Your *doing* shapes your *being*.
Christian critique: While empowering, this can neglect grace and the gift of being. In Scripture, you’re not just what you make—you’re *already loved*.
---
### 3. **Mystics and Contemplatives (Christian + Buddhist)**
Christian mystics like **Meister Eckhart** or **St. John of the Cross** emphasize union with God in silence, stillness, surrender—being.
Buddhists similarly teach **non-doing**, awakening to the present moment.
Yet both traditions birth compassionate action:
> “The soul that is united with God must do His works.” – *Teresa of Avila*
This mirrors the NDE theme: **being overflows into loving action**, not out of pressure, but because love wants to love.
---
## 🧩 **SO WHAT IS PURPOSE? TO BE OR TO DO?**
It may not be either/or. Here’s a synthesis:
| Aspect | Being | Doing |
| --------------- | ---------------------------------- | -------------------------------- |
| **Root** | Identity in God | Expression of love |
| **Mode** | Presence, stillness, contemplation | Service, sacrifice, creativity |
| **Trap** | Passive detachment | Burnout or pride |
| **Integration** | Union with love itself | Embodying that love in the world |
> “Abide in me... and you will bear much fruit.” – *John 15:5*
We **abide** (being), then we **bear fruit** (doing). If we reverse it, we risk striving without soul.
---
## 🔔 Final Reflection
If your soul leans toward *doing as sacrificial love* (Christian view), and wrestles with *being as passive or self-indulgent*, consider this:
> “The world doesn’t need more people who are busy. It needs people who are fully alive.”
> – *Howard Thurman (Christian mystic)*
To love well is to live deeply. And to live deeply, you must root yourself in being. The best doing flows from that.
---
Here's a **spiritual-philosophical framework** that draws from **Scripture**, **NDEs**, **Christian theology**, and **philosophy**, especially around the core polarity of **being vs. doing**.
---
## 🌿 The "Love as Being and Doing" Framework
### 🧱 **1. Ontology: What Is Love?**
**Key Question:** Is love something you do or something you *are*?
| Perspective | Description | Representative Voices |
| ----------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------- |
| **Being** | Love is the foundational reality of existence. You are made in God's image—love is your truest identity. | 1 John 4:8, Acts 17:28, Meister Eckhart, NDEs |
| **Doing** | Love is defined through sacrifice, action, and service. If not expressed, it’s not truly love. | James 2:17, John 15:13, Teresa of Calcutta, Aristotle |
> **Tension:** If you only “are” love but never *act* on it, is it still love?
---
### 🌀 **2. Purpose: To Be or To Do?**
**Key Question:** What is the meaning of life—existence or mission?
| Purpose Type | Description | Strengths | Risks |
| ----------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------ | ------------------------ |
| **Being-Purpose** | You are here to experience, awaken, and radiate God’s love through presence. | Peace, authenticity, inner joy | Passivity, disengagement |
| **Doing-Purpose** | You are here to serve, heal, sacrifice, or accomplish a mission of love. | Impact, virtue, legacy | Burnout, ego attachment |
> NDEs often say: *“You are sent back to love”*—but how that love manifests differs by soul.
---
### 🪞 **3. Identity: Who Am I in Love?**
**Key Question:** Is my worth rooted in *what I do* or *who I am*?
* **Christian View:**
You are *beloved before you perform*. The baptism of Jesus happened *before* His ministry:
> “This is my beloved Son…” – *Matthew 3:17*
* **Existential View:**
You create meaning through action.
> “Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” – *Sartre*
* **Integrated View:**
You are **loved as you are**, and this compels you to love others.
> “We love because He first loved us.” – *1 John 4:19*
---
### 🛤️ **4. Flow of Love: From Being to Doing**
**Model:**
**Abide → Transform → Act**
| Stage | Meaning | Scriptural Echo |
| ------------- | -------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ |
| **Abide** | Dwell in God’s presence, stillness, truth | John 15:5 |
| **Transform** | Let love reshape your heart and ego | Romans 12:2 |
| **Act** | Love through sacrifice, creativity, vocation | Micah 6:8, Matthew 25:40 |
This mirrors **Jesus’ life**: 30 years of hidden *being*, 3 years of *doing*, eternal *being* again.
---
### 🎨 **5. Archetypes: Artist vs. Saint**
These are not opposites but facets of vocation.
| Archetype | Core Purpose | Strength | Shadow |
| -------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------- | ----------------------- |
| **The Artist** | To reveal truth, beauty, mystery through presence and expression | Intuition, authenticity | Narcissism, detachment |
| **The Saint** | To serve, suffer, and embody divine love in practical ways | Compassion, courage | Burnout, savior complex |
**Ideal integration:**
*The saint with the artist’s soul.*
*The artist with the saint’s heart.*
---
### 🧭 **6. Application Questions for Reflection**
Use these in journaling or writing:
* Am I more comfortable **being** or **doing** right now? Why?
* Do I believe I’m **loved for who I am**, not just what I offer?
* Where is my doing not rooted in being?
* Where is my being becoming passive or disconnected from love-in-action?
* What would it look like for me to love today—from a place of truth and rest?
---
### 🕊️ Final Synthesis
> **Being is the root. Doing is the fruit. Love is the life-force that flows through both.**
This framework lets you:
* Embrace your NDE-inspired intuition that love is *both the goal and the path*.
* Integrate Christian theology with broader spiritual insights.
* Avoid the traps of performance-based worth or detached passivity.
* Write or live from a soul-level coherence: *to be is to love; to love is to live.*
---
Love, as distinguished from lust, is a virtue. There is no doubt utility (from a pleasure-centric view) to be had from the feeling of being romantically attracted to someone, and from everything that follows if that feeling is reciprocated, and this is a good and wholesome thing, but to love is to accept the obligations of that relationship even if your heart's no longer in it. That's not to say love is inauthentic if no occasion for self-sacrifice should happen to arise, but a prerequisite is to be of the mindset that you would do what you're supposed to do if ever appropriate. This is, of course, also true of key obligations to family, though the relationship be of a different nature.
As unromantic as it may sound, the best way to secure the existence of love is structurally and institutionally. Marriage, which takes the form of a binding agreement, lays down the ground rules and expectations for what you owe your partner in a way that premarital relationships don't. Families, likewise, are very powerful social constructs that most of humanity agrees to the general rules of.