Voting for Kamala: A Masterclass in Feeling Smart Without Actually Reading Anything
Picture it: You’re standing in line at the polling station wearing a blazer you borrowed from your mom, sipping a $7 cold brew named something like “Truth & Lavender.” You’re about to vote for Kamala Harris, not because you’ve read her policies (what are those?) but because she feels like a good idea. She checks the big feel good boxes:
Woman ✅
Person of color ✅
Has said random words on television ✅
Knows the Orangemanbad rhetoric ✅
Policy positions? Not important. You saw a TikTok once where she laughed really loud and mentioned “equity,” with a Venn diagram, and that was enough. Who needs facts when you’ve got dem vibes?
In this brave new era, voting for Kamala isn't about competence. It’s about aesthetic. She’s not a candidate; she’s a brand. Think Apple, but with more cackling and less software support. Her entire platform is essentially an Instagram caption: “Be the moment, unburdened by what has been"
And when someone asks, “Wait, what did she actually accomplish as VP?”
The answer is clear: “She… existed, and breathed air”
To the average Kamala voter, that’s more than enough.
Kamala makes you feel like you did something brave by checking a box.
Voting for Kamala is like taking a selfie in your bathroom. You don’t actually do anything cause it’s the performance that matters.
No real policy, risks, or meaningful investments in yourself, just filters and confidence that your lighting is perfect.