I liked the one about plums and did one myself.
Falls short in many aspects tho.
I will explain.
"This is just to say about the cherries"- Umbrellacorp
I picked
the cherries
too early
from the bowl
they were
still sour
and I swallowed
them anyway
I thought
of you
watching
from the hallway
Where this poem falls short:
The plum poem describes the honest kind of greed. Eats the plums without remorse. Delicious. Apologizes later. Feels sorry for having taken something someone was saving. Describes pure guilt. It has a very gentle tone.
This however, is unapologetic. Only the act of taking something before it is given. "They were still sour". "Too early". Then, the tension of being seen. Someone else watches but says nothing. DEFIANCE.
Of course i did not intend it to be so, but after thinking why it wasn't so good as the plum poem i noticed it lacked innocence or honesty.
