To those who wronged me, fuck you. To those I wronged, fuck you too because you must have been a really big asshole to deserve such treatment.
The other voice in my head: Dude, it’s supposed to be a sombre departing speech where you apologize for past wrongdoings and they will give you 25+ likes in return wholeheartedly support you on your journey in life. At this rate, you’ll actually be gone from the site er- I mean reprimanded by the mods.
Me: Ok, FIIIIIIINE. I’ll actually make this one good. I want the Friend of the I MEAN I WANT TO LEAVE DEBATEART.ORG ON A POSITIVE NOTE OH YEAH OF COURSE I DO IT’S NOT LIKE I WOULD FAKE MY DEPARTURE FOR 33 LIKES, UNLIKE A CERTAIN *COUGH* RAT *COUGH**COUGH* NOT MENTIONING ANY NAMES HERE
Anyways, where was I again? Oh yeah.
For those I didn't wrong but you still detest me, I couldn't care less. Like, I know that this looks copy-pasted from RM’s “departure”, but it’s not. Like, I actually don’t care about what you say to me, RationalMadman I MEAN OTHER PEOPLE WHO I SHALL NOT DISCLOSE.
For those who do not detest me, I want you to understand that my quitting of this website is to do with seeking a more private life. By private, I mean that I hate talking to other human beings and instead find solace in the comfort that RedTube brings to me. I am becoming an antisocial pornoholic at first glance, but a happier, more self-fulfilled person in the long run.
I also decided not to do the moon landing debate. This is not because I am a lazy procrastinator who goes on RedTube all day (AND I’M NOT), but because I found the TRUTH. You see, I moved to Antarctica years ago with my family because they were penguin hunters. Being raised in a family of penguin hunters, my brother and I were trained from a young age how to hunt penguins. On one fateful expedition that happened yesterday, my brother and I were hunting this golden penguin who was very elusive. My brother readied his net and charged at the penguin, but at the last second, the penguin pulled off a SIKE and broke my brother’s ankles. With his ankles broken, my brother hopelessly tumbled off the edge of the Earth. At that moment, I had an epiphany. I finally realized that RM was right all along and that he was in fact trying to save my brother. I will never forgive myself for this. I now understand that NASA was conspiring with the penguins to kill my brother by brainwashing the vast majority of the people on the flat Earth to believe that the Earth is round so that no one would believe my story. I am also now aware that the Moon is a hologram projected onto the sky by NASA + Illuminati to summon werewolves at night to silence all those who oppose them. Believe the Earth is round, that we landed on the moon, that everything is fine or that everything is not. Make your own mind up, but remember, disagree with NASA and you will end up as werewolf food.
I genuinely am sorry for what a cunt I've been even just yesterday on the website. I mean seriously, I left Wylted and the others hanging in DP1 of the Pizza Mafia. WHAT A CUNT MOVE!!! I may end up seeking professional help but I doubt it, considering that I once made a psychotherapist go so insane that he ended up in a mental asylum. This is not me denouncing debating itself as a bad thing but I do think once you get too into it, it can begin to alter you as a person and make you have an unstoppable urge to write satirical spinoffs of someone else’s VERY GENUINE parting speeches.
I am not saying that I regret all my rivalries to be clear. In fact, the opposite is true. I love RM (no ho-... oh wait I can’t say that? Ok then). I'm saying I should have been empathetic to my enemies and their victims instead of deciding that my role was as a one-time Grammar Nazi who pointed out RM’s obvious spelling error (aka “bullying”). I am a healer and lover, that was my role all along but what I've been doing in life so far is anything but that. All I’ve done is torment others on the forums with my god awful jokes.
I hope you all genuinely forget about me over time but given how much controversy I expect this thread to generate, I'm sure it will take a few months to fully eradicate my relevance to the site as the dude who really clearly wasn't actually meant to be that great of a debater but I hope eventually you all fully forgive, forget and move on with your lives here and IRL never thinking twice about me. But before you do that, DON’T FORGET TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON, HIT SUBSCRIBE, AND RING THAT NOTIFICATION BELL FOR MORE QUALITY CONTENT!!!