Stupid raccoons

Author: Swagnarok ,

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  • Swagnarok
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    Swagnarok
    Okay, so:

    Right outside where I work there's a dumpster. We throw out trash bins with food waste, and the lids are too large and heavy to "leave them closed and open them just when you're throwing something away". So they're pretty much open all day long.
    To summarize: the dumpster is open and has food in it. So it's attractive to little furry mammals, if you know by now what I'm getting at.
    Sometimes I go out there and spot the raccoons in the dumpster. A family of them, I think. Most of the time they're absent, especially when it starts to fill up. I'm not exactly sure where they go during this time but there's a small woods right next to the restaurant.
    This evening I went out there to throw a bag out, and there it was.

    Right. In. Front. Of. My. Face.

    I turned around and ran away, but before I turned I think I saw it jump. So I'm not entirely sure what happened.
    I am fully aware, of course, of the risk of contracting rabies, the only disease known to man that has a 100℅ fatality rate. So as fascinated as I am by the raccoons I always try to keep a safe distance.
    But tonight I'm not 100℅ sure what happened. I probably wasn't bitten, as I think I would've felt it. Surely a raccoon's jaw strength is nothing to dismiss entirely. But in any case if I should keel over and die from rabies in the next few days, weeks or months that is why. It happened today, September 24, 2019.
  • RationalMadman
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    RationalMadman
    --> @Swagnarok
    People often wonder why I am the way I am with people on this site. It's a simple concept.

    You need to understand that being alpha and owning territory is about so much more than body mass. Sure, being tall and 'upright standing' confuses many four-legged creatures into thinking we have two more legs behind us and are a great big beast (it's why no one fucks with giraffes, despite them being so vulnerable, height matters a lot to animal psychology but not nearly as much as eye contact and body language). 

    That raccoon is sizing you up, both psychologically and physically. Don't be afraid to stare it in the eye. When you run, the raccoon is both afraid and predatory as it sees you both as a threat and prey/inferior at once. Next time, stand still. Completely still. Stare it in the eyes. Make a fake run movement or something. Make it flinch. Do nothing more, start to walk. You will see it respect you.
  • PressF4Respect
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    PressF4Respect
    RM the alpha lobster back at it again with facts and logic

  • Dr.Franklin
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    Dr.Franklin
    RM goes back to evolution of course