What is a Lolcow?
Taken from the YouTube channel “Urinating Tree”, lolcow is a term for a hilariously bad sports team, or sometimes an individual. While regular cows produce milk, a lolcow produces laughs.
The Nominees Are...
New England Patriots
🦀🦀🦀🦀 The Evil Empire is Gone !!!!!1!1!1! 🦀🦀🦀🦀
On a serious note, I actually read an interesting article from ESPN detailing how the Patriots fell out of Brady’s favor.
Los Angeles Rams
More like the Ramshackles. Losing Todd Gurley was the big one, but that doesn’t cover it. There’s more. Dante Fowler Jr, Cory Littleton, Clay Matthews, etc. What did they pick up? Not enough. They are solely relying on draft gambling, and their mediocre season last year ensures they won’t even get the best draft picks. Just remember: No matter how bad it gets, it’s never going to be as bad as your new logo.
Well this will make a certain someone happy. Just look at their free agency selections. They are wannabe Patriots. They are also unaware that the Patriots right now are nothing to emulate.
Bill O’Brien got bailed out so many times by his talented team, and how do you reward his near failure? With GM duty, of course! What is the first thing he does? Trade away his star receiver, of course! I am a happy Colts fan. I would take a dump all over you guys, but I have a fate worse than death in mind... being spat on by Cowboys fans.
New York Jets
What was that I said about football teams from New York? Because it’s still true. The Jets threw money at short-term solutions. That’s just the Jets being the Jets. I can’t say much more. Their offseason so far has been a buttfumble.
The Loser is...
New York Jets
The Rams still have some good players, so do the Patriots and the Texans. The Jets’ biggest competitor was the Lions, but at least they’re building something. What are the Jets building? A Boeing 747? Because it’s falling apart.
So congratulations, Jets! Not only are you the NFL’s Buttfumble, you are also the 3rd Lolcow of the Week! 🎉 😂 🐄