My parents are wanting to imply conservatorship on me

Author: Alec ,

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  • Alec
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    Alec
    Anyone know how to escape this?
  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Alec
    A judge has to rule on this and as long as you are functioning you should be fine
  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Alec

  • Alec
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    --> @SupaDudz
    My parents think that because I post stuff on Facebook comparable to what I post on DART, they think I should be put in conservatorship.  They are loons.
  • Dr.Franklin
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    --> @Alec
    dont know but good luck in our mission

  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Alec
    Then that's idiotic. You are fully capable of functioning is society. A judge would not rule in favor of them. Your stuff is questionable and out there, but you certainly can take care of yourself and live on your own. Just gotta convince them.

    Facebook is a toxic dungeon. Don't touch it. I only use it to follow my friend

  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Alec
    I mean I can't say that because IDK if you can feed yourself and do essentials cuz I don't know you personally, but that's what I would assume since you have an education. Your parents probably think you can't just because of autism and what they see bothers them morally.

  • zedvictor4
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    --> @Alec
    Just say whatever.

    They're not going to change you and you're not going to change them.
  • fauxlaw
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    --> @Alec
    Conservatorship, as I understand the law [and it may vary state to state] is applied, only by the decision of a court, due to physical or mental impairment such that decisions, mainly financial, made by the conservatee [you] need management by an appointee [anyone the plaintiff - your parents - designates,] and is approved by the court. However, theirs is the burden of proof that your condition and actions merit the judgment of conservatorship. Age of the conservatee is of no consequence.

    Sounds to me their concern may be only the time spent in your activities, to the detriment of an education. Be prepared on that score to demonstrate your prudent division of activity. Don't count on a judge's determination that time spent on facebook/DART is an education. After all, they are formally educated, your potential attitude about a higher education notwithstanding.

    This is a caring, and hopefully objective grandfather to a grandson.

  • RationalMadman
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    I don't get it, maybe it's an American thing. It's pretty normal in other nations for parents to manage their child's finances even while the child passes age 18 and becomes an adult. When I say 'manage' I do obviously understand the legally the 'true' owner of the account is not the parent.

    If that's not normal in America and your parents are trying to make it legally binding that they keep control of your financial decisions, the solution lies in talking the more openminded parent out of it. Idk what to tell you, hopefully they see reason. Also, being open to their influence and showing that you take what they say on board and at least talk it out with them is a good way to make them not feel the need to force anything.

    Of course there's the hardcore solution of moving out and making it on your own but that's suboptimal unless they're truly unpleasant in many ways.
  • ATroubledMan
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    --> @Alec
    Your parents would have to prove you're incapable of handling your own affairs. If posting on Facebook or this forum is their evidence, then that would stand as evidence to place millions of people on conservatorship. Probably wouldn't make it to court.
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @RationalMadman
    You are correct that this is considered out-of-the norm nn America. I was not aware this was common in Europe. About how often does it happen over in Britian? (correct me if I am wrong but iirc that is where you are from).
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @fauxlaw
    However, theirs is the burden of proof that your condition and actions merit the judgment of conservatorship.

    Pretty easy burden to bear in this case if we assume Alec's posts on the subject of money are not jokes on his part especially considering his parents are fairly wealthy.
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @SupaDudz
    Then that's idiotic. You are fully capable of functioning is society. A judge would not rule in favor of them. Your stuff is questionable and out there, but you certainly can take care of yourself and live on your own.

    While it is possible for normal-functioning people to make... "Out-there" posts (understatement much?)... Unless you have access to some information about Alec that the rest of us do not then you have no basis for claiming that such is necessarily the case here.
  • skittlez09
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    --> @Alec
    your parents are crazy 

    from what ive seen you have high intelligence bro 

  • TheRealNihilist
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    --> @Alec
    If this does happen what is the worst that can happen?

    You won't be allowed on Facebook and DA?
    If there is more like abuse or something else that you should gather evidence. Seek legal advice.

    The positives of course is well you are living free so you can exploit this by doing what you like or use that time to learn what you want to do with your life discuss with your parents on if they will release you and if they don't search up on how to do it.

    I think there is a part you are not telling us and that is okay (you don't have to tell us anything since we will not be defending you nor are the best people to give advice) but I don't think it is likely that you will be conservatee under those conditions.

    Best case scenario: Your parents love you, they are looking out for you. they will release you when you both agree you are ready and everything will be okay.  
  • RationalMadman
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    It's pretty normal everywhere that you give your child advice and are often allowed to turn up to the bank (with them) and have bank meetings together and stuff, as a parent, even after they are 18.

    It's not normal that you suddenly battke them for legal ownership over their finances. Whike it's possible to ve a trusted health-based consent giver and a person their landlord deals with, if they're particularly struggling with things mentally and/or emotionally, it's not a 'thing' where you're able to make executive decisions on their behalf in finance and it's also normal that they'd take your advice and let you innthe first placd.

    America clearly has ossues to even have something like this be a commonplace practise.
  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    It's just from his posts on the internet. I said that I don't know everything about Alec
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @SupaDudz
    It's just from his posts on the internet.

    If you are saying that his parents are basing it only on that, I kinda doubt that to be true. I know that is what he said I just have trouble believing it 
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @RationalMadman
    America clearly has ossues to even have something like this be a commonplace practise.

    What gave you the idea that this is common?
  • RationalMadman
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit @SupaDudz
    One thing I want to agree with Supadudz on is this:

    Your parents are right if what they're asking you to do is be a quiet mouse on Facebook. Stuff you say there can haunt you for life. Facebook isn't privacy-friendly, just delete your profile and at most make a new one and add only the few you need to stay in touch with. That's my advice, I am not a famous person and never want to be.

    Trust me, fame is not a good thing unless you're a very ordinary, socially acceptable person on the inside. Any view or thing you do that can in any way be construed to make you seem bad will be, when and if you become relevant in any sense of fame.

    I may be a coward, but I'm not a totally silent one. Thanks to not living in a hyperoppressed regime and researching VPNs, privacy T&C and techniques that companies use to harvest data, I can ascertain where to speak freer and where not to. Supadudz is correct in warning you not to say stuff you'll ever regret saying on something as attached to your identity as Facebook, I believe (as a Taoist and even who I was prior to becoming one) that all mistakes are merely learning experiences (unless it's a fatal or truly damning one). Learn, evolve and don't be immature and foolish next time you make a post or think of where to make one.

    Challenge views, post as you want but do it wisely. I also would advise you away from the username 'Alec' following you everywhere. Try to reduce where and when your username is used and that applies to profile descriptions and all that jazz as well. The key to privacy as opposed to anonymity (which is basically saying as little as possible that isn't said by everyone else) is to strive to have a persona be kept to one place. Sometimes that's not possible, in such cases pace yourself wisely. Your real life identity being the 'username' on a social media platform is the most blatant time when you should be wise. Your parents are correct to warn you Alec, they want to protect you from serious media harassment and work-colleague bullying in the future. You may even be rejected from jobs (even entry level jobs) based on what you posted with your name attached, and of course it's harder to mask the more unique that your name is.
  • SupaDudz
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    --> @Alec @RationalMadman
    RM is saying straight facts about Facebook. I will NEVER EVER use Facebook after the whole thing with Zuckerberg. And it's so toxic. I only use it to check in on a friend that moved. I don't and will never do anything on Facebook

107 days later

  • sadolite
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    Seems to me that if you are paying your own bills, taking care of your self and not breaking the law no one can say shit no matter how fucked up you are. Just saying. Take me for example. I am as anti social and socially  offensive  as they come.


  • Intelligence_06
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    --> @TheUnderdog
    I don't think Sadolite's advice is good. In fact, I don't know why you are called to conversation in the first place. You post stuff on facebook akin to your post on DART? Is that bad to your parents in any possible way?