On The Bullseye 10/31/2020 Edition

Author: Intelligence_06 ,

Topic's posts

Posts in total: 14
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    Disclaimer: The contents below are completely satirical and nothing below should be taken seriously. Nothing here is forcefully offensive, and if you consider so, you are likely incorrect due to that nothing here is intentionally offensive and harmful in any way. Things presented here may or may not represent my beliefs regardless of that I wrote them. Things may or may not be accurate, mostly the latter.

    On The Bullseye 10/31/2020
    Edited by: Intelligence_06 and [REDACTED]
    You are looking at the main competitor of SirAnonymous' DART Bard, except, things here will always be more realistic, more reliable, and more anonymous than DART Bard.

    Riots Endure Whilst the Spooky Bell Rings, Pumpkin Insurance Peaks!
    Edited by: [REDACTED]

    As the Bell of October 31th Rang, The protesters on the streets of [REDACTED] are chanting harder, for both the Black lives and the festives of Halloween. Protesters, looking like actual clowns real in and real out, are jumping left and right on the streets looking like lunatics, probably because their pumpkin helmets do not have any carvings in it and they cannot see anything in it. Liberal gun owners who are bloodthirsty of shooting black cops in the face are seeing literally nothing at all, and the unmanned drones put by the Chinese government within the US Government, which are also controlled by clowns in impractical camouflages in a control room, are shot down by said liberal gun owners in an attempt of enforcing self-defense.

    Pumpkin Farm Insurance Inc. is now getting a ton load of money, due to those protesters that don't look like stupid lunatics in pumpkin helmets have actual brains and are looting thousands upon thousands of pumpkins from stores all over the city. Pumpkin Farm Insurance Inc. is a company based in the state of [REDACTED], and its sole purpose is to give insurance on pumpkin-related products. The United States based incorporation usually get 10,000% the normal income rate before Halloween due to the abundance of pumpkin-related products. That, however, is not like this year, as usually 1,000 pumpkins get stolen each year. The Incorporation grows 130,000,000,000 pumpkins in each year and have their barns being completely stale. Upon the last 10 minutes, the incorporation got 10 times the average annual income due to that 10,000 pumpkins are getting stolen every minute in the United States, upon that 99% of the incidents are currently happening in [REDACTED]. The stock of Pumpkin Farm Insurance Inc. is rising by 1000% from today compared to yesterday.

    The government of the United States are ordering all services in the United States to shut down Halloween services but none listened whatsoever. Loots are still happening and it is getting no less intense, if not more. Liberals accused Pumpkin Farm Insurance Inc. of treason due to the huge increase of money, but they are found innocent of that crime due to that said liberals are stealing pumpkins, fueling the "treason" that is completely just.

    Intelligence_06 Get Caught Trying to Accuse SirAnonymous of Fraud
    Edited by: Intelligence_06

    "On The Bullseye" tried to hand in an issue to the public with the main contents of accusing the figure SirAnonymous of fraud and fabrication of entities yesterday. Intelligence_06, the central figure of yesterday's article, have claimed that figures are purely fabricated due to that there is "No one" named Trum Porter and similar claims, thus claiming a completely separate individual of fraud.

    Investigations found that there are 270,000 people named Trum Porter in just the state of [REDACTED], thus rendering Intelligence's claim false. SirAnonymous is a law-abiding citizen living in the state of [REDACTED], and he is involved in no crimes. The newspaper issued yesterday is quickly deleted and people who have seen it is handed amnesiacs that made their minds to be as primitive as the average newborn.

    Intelligence is found guilty yesterday at 09:20 PM, deported to [REDACTED]. It is unknown how Intelligence is handling this article as he is denied of all electronic services.

    DebateArt.com is Dead, Claims Nobody
    Edited by: null

    Yep, Debateart.com is not dead at all! On The Bullseye is first issued there, and people are all happy. Religious people are religious and atheists are atheist. Conservatives are conservative and liberals are liberal. Males are masculine and females are feminine. Debaters debate and forum posters post forums. It is just like anything you see in the plain day, except that there is On The Bullseye.

    I have no clue how no one is in charge of this section but there is still content here, but y'all are dirty hackers looking at this for free. This originally costed $10,000 and y'all are freeloading. How do I see $0 in the income box yet 5,000 people looking at this otherwise?

    People are People, Says Experts on this Topic
    Edited by: [REDACTED]

    Due to that we have nothing else to report, we will report something so meaningless it is actually interesting.

    Experts from all 193 nations of the world claim that People can no longer be classified as people, however none of those "experts" can have a say on this topic due to that when asked of what "People" are, no one offers anything at all. Other experts claim that people are still indeed people, only 2 of them, but because two is bigger than 193, we will have to use that as everything.

    In conclusion, people are still people. Wait, are they? No they are not, are they? Wait, they are, aren't they? Wait, they aren't, are they? Wait, they are, aren't they? Wait, they aren't, are they? Wait, they are, aren't they? Wait, they aren't, are they? Whatever. I lost the ability to speak and possibly typing. Goodbye people as I see you in the next issue.

    ===END===
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @Dr.Franklin @MisterChris @Ragnar @SirAnonymous @Speedrace
    Can we get some audience? 
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Competition? Ha! No peasant can compete with me! Thou shalt rue the day you chose to challenge SirAnonymous and the DART Bard!
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @SirAnonymous
    You are not wrong, sir. By the time your corrupt outdated system dies I will happily trample on your grave.
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    More seriously, I had a few laughs reading your work, even though I wasn't sure what was going on a lot of the time. In the back of my mind, though, I'm seething that you just gave me yet another thing to write about in an already news-filled month. On the plus side, now I've got some ideas...
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @SirAnonymous
    If you say that my newer, less outdated system gave you some ideas, then I would happily hear it, and use it to reap quadruple the benefits from what you reap off of mine.
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Oh, you thought I was going to share my ideas with my competition? Heh heh. You wish.
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @SirAnonymous
    Oh stop being arrogant. You will have your secret trades stolen after you merely posting the new edition. You would wish that you will know my secrets.
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Don't bother me with details. Facts have nothing to do with this.
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @SirAnonymous
    Have fun being in jail for spreading forceful misinformation.
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Well, on a serious note, that's actually legal in the US so long as it isn't libelous.
  • Intelligence_06
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Debates: 61
    Forum posts: 1,893
    4
    7
    11
    Intelligence_06 avatar
    Intelligence_06
    --> @SirAnonymous
    While you are still reasoning with me, I have already drafted tomorrow’s issue.
  • fauxlaw
    fauxlaw avatar
    Debates: 60
    Forum posts: 2,868
    4
    6
    10
    fauxlaw avatar
    fauxlaw
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Even in satire, offense can be taken, not because it was intended, and you clearly did not, but because it is the unwritten consequence of the US Constitution's first amendment. That is, because there is freedom of speech, someone is capable of taking offense by it. We simply have the right to be offended, but censure is not the appropriate response.
    That said, nothing here takes me by offense, and, therefore, no need to seek censure, which, as said, is inappropriate, anyway. Just thought I'd tickle your disclaimer.
  • SirAnonymous
    SirAnonymous avatar
    Debates: 3
    Forum posts: 3,214
    3
    7
    10
    SirAnonymous avatar
    SirAnonymous
    --> @Intelligence_06
    Read about this new satire paper here.