Fun with rhetoric

Author: Benjamin ,

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Benjamin
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This will be a forum page were one can post hilarious examples of funny rhetoric, nonsensical madness and any other piece of text that could make our days more fun and enjoyable.
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God started to exist in order to be intellectually tested.

He started to read the terms and conditions of being a God. When he found Premise1 and P2 he accepted immediately without reading the rest of the document.

He was full of Joy as he believed he could act independently of logic and have a lot of fun.

He immediately went to the beach and started making a sandcastle out of frozen and contradicting ideas when suddenly instigator showed up to arrest him. 

"You are not allowed to do that thing here, sire" He shouted, cuffing his hands.

God claimed his innocence: "I am allowed to break logic, it is written in P2 and P1 of the terms and conditions"

the instigator was not impressed: "Did you not read the entire document, including the part I added just now?"        . . .       "no", God answered.

God was tested in court and found guilty of Conclusion - breaking the laws of logic without permission from more than two of three members of the premise

The fact that God was entitled to this ability by at least two basic God rights, did not matter to the judges, or instigator for that matter.

Realizing he could not redeem himself, he started to resist the fabric of reality, fighting with everything he could.

But eventually, he was taken down, deemed nonexistent and put to jail for the Next Millenium or so.



Benjamin
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If an illogical thing existed despite neither being a thing nor possibly existing, it would ignore any logical law, including the law of cause and effect.


This would render its existence and actions independent of all other possible things, possible things not actually being things, impossible things and even impossible things not actually being things, but we are not sure about the "existence" property for each supposedly possible or impossible thing or nonthing.


This proves that one cannot possibly have power over an impossible illogical thing not clearly existing.

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The strongest weapons are doubled-edged.


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Everybody is special,  apart from everybody.
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We deserve the best athletes science can offer
Benjamin
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The pen is stronger than the sword, yet lightsabers are cooler than printers.
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--> @Benjamin
If God couldn't not exist in the state God exists in (alone), God would create alternate realities to exist simultaneously with other objects, persons and places to experience something other than being alone. To accomplish this, God would have to create a type of simulation and reduce/confine Itself to form within such a simulation. The reduction of Itself confined to specific forms would be called a soul, and the simulation a game, possibly a movie. And that souls perception of reality would be restricted to the confines of that form and that simulation.

This simulation would be our universe but not limited to our universe as there would be parallel worlds/simulations beyond what the physical universe experiences. God likes games but likes more than one game lol....the poor souls (players) subjected to God's simulations (games) would be us, and God would have access to each player (soul), would observe the moves of each player as a fresh and unique experience. God would simulate two opposing forces to make the game much more realistic and interesting....
The magic of the game or simulation would be different from any ordinary game where the controller is completely aware of each move....the player (soul) within the simulation gradually takes on its own perceptions through each experience within the game, and the player within the game begins to act independent of the Simulator. Thus the Simulator has no need to control each move, the player begins to move on its own accord within the game! since the player is equipped with real life consciousness and intelligence it can begin to act as an independent agent unlike the video games as we know them.

This would mean that while the Simulator (God) would have access to each player, the Simulator could observe each experience within the game as if It were playing the game independent of Itself! through each player....God could create endless simulations while the soul plays endless roles within those simulations. There could be no limit to the simulations, there could be multiple simulations for billions of players within a matrix of layered realties.

God decides to make the game more interesting, more than just experiencing each simulation through individual players. God decides to give the game an objective, but the objective only begins as any given player wishes to advance from the game. The objective appears in stages as each soul moves from one simulation to the preceding simulation until it reaches a climax of experience and knowledge. The objective for each player would be to uncover what its true origins are through a myriad of complex simulated games. Each player would advance at its own pace, unaware of its reality independent of its own observations through a confined and limited perspective.
Once the soul reaches the objective and uncovers and defeats the "Boss" (knowledge).....its allowed to become the Simulator once again. As the gamer understands what the objective was, the gamer is allowed to enter the simulation to begin a whole new quest.