I am sexually attracted to gnomes

Author: Wylted

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Wylted
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I don't know why, but ever since I watched David the gnome as a kid I have been attracted to women who look like his wife. My fiance looks like a gnome.

Well recently at work, we have a new GM who looks just like a perfect gnome. I haven't seen such a perfect gnome looking woman in years. 

Long story short, when she walked in, I dropped a bunch of things and just started staring and zoned out, so it looks like I might be fired for my odd behavior. 

The last time this happened, I was playing a pool game and a lot of money was on the line. I dropped my cue and started walking towards the gnome looking girl. She was so beautiful.  Anyway my friend is screaming at me, because he was my banker. I go over to her and I have to scream because the bar is loud and I scream at her, that I want her to stand on my lawn. She gives a confused look, and her boyfriend starts approaching. I tell her "I love you, please let me take you home and make love to you on my lawn". Her boyfriend tries to fight me, but my friends drag me away, and give me shit for losing them money on a pool game. 
Intelligence_06
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I am no expert but this would garner more likes on Reddit. All we talk about here is about whoever is sus. No matter politics, religion, mafia, or even site moderation.
oromagi
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@Intelligence_06
 All we talk about here is about whoever is sus
You should start a game in the games forum entitled, "WHO is SUS?"


Intelligence_06
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@oromagi
Isn't it basically all of them? I believe starting such a thread would either be a megathread or redundant.
oromagi
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who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cuz wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.
who is sus?
you is sus.
why im sus?
cus wats sus.

fauxlaw
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@oromagi
I perceive this as a repetitious violation of the sense of Occam's Razor's second maxim:

Frustra fit per plura quod potest fieri per pauciora  or,   It is in vain to accomplish by several means what can be done in a few,

or, in one.
FLRW
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@Wylted
You probably would be interested in this on Amazon.
Garden Gnome Statue,Peeing Naked Goblin Gnome for Lawn Ornaments Indoor Outdoor Garden Crafts Decorations, Height: 5.1inch(Man and Woman)

8 days later

Intelligence_06
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@fauxlaw
Frustra fit per plura quod potest fieri per pauciora  or,   It is in vain to accomplish by several means what can be done in a few,
Now, what makes you proud enough to say that you actually understand what Oromagi is trying to convey? What makes you think the repetition ISN'T a part of the message? I am not saying it is, but absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

zedvictor4
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@Intelligence_06
What everything really.

9 emissions of worthless bollocks, of self-contained worth.
fauxlaw
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@Intelligence_06
Most people who are repetitive are oblivious to repeating the same thing expecting different results as being insane.
Intelligence_06
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@fauxlaw
The large Hadron collider had to crash the same kind of particles against perhaps even each other countless of times in order to even achieve even 1 result that could help our society to advance. Is this a counterexample?
Wylted
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@Intelligence_06
It actually pushed us into a parallel universe where Nelson Mandella did not die in prison and Berenstein bears are berenstain bears. So if you call that an improvement, I don't know what is wrong with you
Intelligence_06
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@Wylted
And it pushed our timeline into one where Wylted is speaking of things that doesn’t sound like it would make sense.


Wylted
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@Intelligence_06
Are you low IQ or have you seriously just never heard of the Mandela effect?
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@Wylted
You can't say that with 100 certainty. The theory itself seems to be built that it is uncertain. Unless you got hold of an army of gnomes operating an intergalactic machine, I see no reason that this timeline is even altered.

Better yet, if you aren't joking, then I should be reading something on the news.

I know you are joking, but I don't know what are you joking about or even why.
fauxlaw
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@Intelligence_06
I did say "most people," yeah?