Literally there are few better things people can do than foster kids.
That's what annoys me about not being able to control those internal feelings of hate that bubble up when I am around them.
I see myself in foster kids and my foster parents in the foster parents I meet.
Everything I read stuff on projection, it doesn't cover how to deal with it.
I even looked up how rape victims, some I assume hate all men after being raped, deal with their projection, if projection is the right word. .able displaced anger is the correct word.
I guess I was hoping by sharing that somebody has dealt with something similar and had some tips for conquering this.
I will say fostering is often done by people who don't have the right motivations, or who don't have the temperament for it.
Out of 3 different foster homes I have had direct experience with, 2 were abusive. The first was my sister's who was an all black foster family and kids and they were extremely racist and bullied her, even the foster mother. The second was my foster family where I first hand walked in to a room where a kid was molested by other foster kids as well as experiencing the abusive foster dad first hand in terms of physical and emotional abuse, as well as slave labor.
The third foster home was my sister's, and it was a pleasant one labeled a "therapeutic foster home". Those people weren't perfect, but she was safe there and well taken care of.
My experience has taught me that 66% are bad, and I hear news stories almost everyday of more abusive homes popping up.
What's worst is my wife wants to foster at some point. I forcefully told her "no, I am not going to turn into one of them people".
I also hate social workers for similar reasons. I just can't seem to get my emotions in check. I'm told though that this is good that I feel emotions after almost a decade of anhedonia.