Is somebody's bad side their true self

Author: Wylted ,

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  • Wylted
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    As an example. After I ran against BSH1 the first time I ran as president. I saw a nasty side of him behind the scenes. A side I didn't think existed. I won't go into details but I'm sure many of you are aware of a tad bit of that. A few days ago I was  reading through old DDO PMs and reading through a few I have with him reminded of this. Reading through those PMs brought back some feelings I had at the time. I was wondering if that nasty side of BSH1 was him showing his true self, or if it was something else.

    I have very few friends, but the friends I do have are fiercely loyal to me, as I am to them. I'd kill for them, and them for me. I don't have many friends because I usually am betrayed at some point, in some way. I always assume those monor betrayels are them showing their true self. Perhaps it is because my public image is so carefully curated (offline) that I feel like those cracks are just the real person showing through, but is it something different?

    I almost discarded my therapist, because I felt like she was not fiercely loyal to me. I mentioned some homicidal ideations, and she started prying to see if I had plans to kill somebody. The conversation went something like this.

    Me: "I want to kill Karla Homolka" (Or some power broker)"

    her: "I understand that, you want to make the world safer for your child, Do you have any plans or intentions to murder somebody?"

    Me: "Why are you asking me that, knowing you have a duty to report?" "Are you loyal to me or to Karla Homolka's safety"

    Her: "I don't want you to be hurt by any extreme actions you take"

    Me: "Do you know how high my IQ is?" "Do you know 35% of all murders go unsolved, the other 65% are people of average or lower IQs getting caught" "You can't protect me from something I would never get caught doing"

    Her: "You don't know what effects the trauma of killing somebody could cause you to do" "You might be able to plan the perfect murder, but will your psychological state allow you to act accordingly in the aftermath of the event"
    I knew what she was talking about. I have heard detectives say that people plan for everything except for the heebie Jeebies they get from murdering somebody, which cause them to make dumb mistakes. Did she show me her true colors there. Is she more loyal to the serial killer Karla Homolka, or me?

    When people betray you, is that their true self shining through in a brief unguarded moment, or is it something else?
  • Mopac
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    Is this an example of your badside? 

    You didn't have to give names in your examples, but you did.

    Makes you look bitter, spiteful, maybe a little insecure.. immature?

    Do you think this is your true self? 


    I wouldn't say so.



  • ethang5
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    Makes you look bitter, spiteful, maybe a little insecure.. immature?
    Things only the noobs wouldn't already know. Sigh. New site, same childish nonsense.
  • Wylted
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    --> @Mopac
    You didn't have to give names in your examples, but you did.


    Stay on topic please. I didn't say anything to paint anybody other than myself in a bad light here, with the exception of briefly mentioning a widely known serial killer.
  • Mopac
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    --> @Wylted
    I am on topic mr, ignore the rest of my post.

    I don't like your bad side, but I still love you. 
  • RationalMadman
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    Simple answer is yes buddy.

    Complex answer is the self is made bad, the real self is a whole level deeper.
  • 1harderthanyouthink
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    Aren't we really just what we do? Between good and bad things, there isn't really a true self, the self just is.
  • blamonkey
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    --> @Wylted
    Jung proposed the idea of the shadow. This "shadow self" is part of the unconscious that the ego does not identify as the true self. In other words, we reject the notion that this shadow aspect of our personality exists. Nonetheless, we all possess one. Not all of it is negative. Just because someone does not acknowledge a certain part of themselves does not mean that said person is bad. The fact that they can tell right from wrong is showcased when they reject certain character traits that they consider undesirable. Moreover, societal attitudes impacts what people hold in their shadow as well. In certain communities, certain sexual preferences, races, classes, and other distinctions between people can play a large role in what we hide from other people, and most importantly, ourselves. Jung argues that people need to face their unconscious shadow to become truly whole as a person.

    While much of Jung's work is outdated, his analysis of human behavior in this instance seems to be spot on. So, to answer your question, I think that a bad side is a part of the true self, but so is the good. 

  • Maher
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    --> @Wylted
    There are sort of two dimensions to someone's personality.  There's the face they put forward, and then there's the shadow side that only rarely sees expression.  The face people put forward is usually the one that you see the most.  They put effort into cultivating a sense of their decency, good nature, and inclination towards doing those things that are right.  Human beings are much more complex than that, though.  Our shadow sides are our basest impulses.  It's the "Mr. Hyde" to all of our Dr. Jekyll.  But, the fact that you saw a person's shadow side doesn't mean that that's who they are, because the fact that there are two sides implies that personality isn't merely so unidimensional as being limited only to the face people put forward, or the shadow.  Personality is both.

  • Wylted
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    Isn't the shadow self the true self and whatever else is just a mask? The mask certainly can't be the true self
  • Mopac
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    I knew this autistic hippie girl who used to form sentences by turning the dial on the radio, and she once said that you become the mask you wear.


    Do you become the mask you wear? I don't know. Sounds almost like fake it till you make it. I don't really know about either of these attitudes.

  • WarriorQueenForever
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    Yep and not anyone really knows my bad side and not sure anyone would want to either. It's scary. 
  • Outplayz
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    --> @WarriorQueenForever
    I'm not scared... i want to know. What brings out the bad in you? 
  • Outplayz
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    --> @Wylted
    People usually have a bad side that they hide in person. It would be idiotic if anyone was always their true self. My cuz once told me... only tell every secret you have to one person... the love of your life that you know for sure will age and die with you. If you never find this person... never tell people everything about you. Even friends. Always keep secrets. I personally don't even know about the love of your life part bc there is no surety... he's just a romantic and his reasoning was that she'll be impressed that she knows things about you that no one else does. I agree with that sentiment, but i still wouldn't tell said love everything about me. 

    It's good to have secrets only you know. And pick and choose who gets to know pieces of it. That's when you'll be true to yourself. To me, the only person that will age and die with you is, you. Have fun with it. It's great for persuasion and manipulation being in control of this element of yourself. And if you don't think those come in handy in life... you haven't been fucked over. But since i think you have as you say... i think you will understand the importance of secrets and suppressing elements of your self. 
  • WarriorQueenForever
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    --> @Outplayz
    why the hell would I tell you ?... 
  • Outplayz
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    Ah... okay, nm i see. 
  • WarriorQueenForever
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    --> @Outplayz
    hehe 
  • blamonkey
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    --> @Wylted
    Actually, Jung proposed that their are multiple parts of the self, including the persona, which is the mask I think you are referring to. The "self" is one of them, and represents the unified unconsciousness, and consciousness of an individual. He identified the "self" as the cohesive personality that is formed through individuation, or the process of integrating various aspects of one's personality into a single, whole "self." Often it is shown to be a dot in the center of a circle, with the ego representing the dot, and the rest of the personality representing the circle.

    While difficult to grasp in theory, it seems to me that Jung is proposing that while the "shadow" component of a personality is part of the picture, there are other factors at play that create the full self. There are 4 Jungian archetypes that manifest itself in humans. These include the Persona, the Shadow, the Anima/Animus, and the aforementioned self. These archetypes, according to Jung, shape our behavior and personality in radically different ways. So, to suggest that one part of the personality, like the shadow, is representing the entire person is equivalent to suggesting that Mick Jagger represents the entire genre of rock. Yes, he is a major part of it. I would even consider him to be a vital figure in rock and roll history. However, he cannot represent all of rock music which includes heavy metal, punk, grunge etc. 

    I would argue that the mask that people wear tell a lot about what they value. Someone who wears the mask of the "friendly party-goer," whether meaning to or not, would seem to enjoy being the center of attention, value the company of others, and generally be care-free. This demonstrates the values of a person in a certain situation. For instance, if the person dons an ill fitting persona in a setting where it is not appropriate, such as the aforementioned "party-goer" persona in a classroom setting, we can infer that the person desires to be liked or is bored of the class. Of course, there are many inferences that can be drawn about why someone acts a certain way at a certain time, but this is just one possibility. 

  • Outplayz
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    --> @WarriorQueenForever
    ^_^  
  • Wylted
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    --> @Outplayz
    She is probably 13 and you are asking her what makes her a bad little girl. Creepy 
  • Outplayz
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    Tf man... no she's not. 
  • WarriorQueenForever
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    Ohhhh children can't we just get along lol. @Wytled definitely not 13, this is Marie ... 26... lol. 
  • Outplayz
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    --> @WarriorQueenForever
    I make sure of that before i say stuff like that. I read your profile and you sounded like a cool person. My question was my own weird way of saying hello. If you were 13 i would have never said that.