I'm scared

Author: MollieLeonard

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MollieLeonard
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I always knew that something was wrong with my marriage. I don't remember a single day when I really felt happy. A week ago I read two articles https://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/22/health/good-and-bad-marriage-boon-and-bane-to-health.html and https://onlinedivorcer.com/blog/toxic-marriage-signs. And I am sure now that the only way out in my situation is divorce. But I'm terribly scared. It can be so scary that I physically feel nauseous and dizzy. How can I overcome this fear?
whiteflame
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@MollieLeonard
This sounds like a deeply personal problem, one that must have quite a bit feeding into it. Without that context, it's difficult to understand what you're going through and why that's yielding such a strong emotional response, though I perfectly understand if you don't feel comfortable sharing details publicly in this forum. I'm no marriage counselor, so I cannot (and, frankly, should not) provide any professional advice. Anything I say here is entirely built on what I've learned as someone who still feels very much like an amateur at marriage and relationships. I've been married for over 9 years, so I can only speak from my personal experience and that of those I know well. Still, if you are willing, we could discuss this via PM to keep things as private as possible.

All that being said, it sounds like the issues you're facing with your marriage are very real concerns and should be taken seriously. Speaking generally, I think that if you and your partner are willing to undergo counseling of some kind, that would be a good place to start. I know it helped my marriage immensely to do so. Divorce can and should be a consideration if you and your partner cannot meaningfully address the toxic elements of your relationship. I've never been through divorce, so I can't speak to how that process would affect you, but with regards to how you overcome the fear of taking that step, personal counseling can help, but managing as big a decision as this (where you likely live together and may even have a family together) is never going to be easy. The best place to start is being secure in your decision, which I think the effort to do couples counseling could help with. From there, it's about finding ways to make yourself feel secure post-divorce, which would depend on your financial status, how much help you're getting from family and friends, and the physical and emotional safety you could find. I don't know where you stand on any of that, so I'm speaking in generalities, but I think that taking stock of what you have and what you feel you need to be secure would be worth your time.
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@whiteflame
it's an adbot for the second site...
whiteflame
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@RationalMadman
Well, that would explain it. Wrote this in the middle of the workday and didn't really think about it being a bot.
Sum1hugme
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@whiteflame
Lol, you just care too much
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@Sum1hugme
Apparently
Bones
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...Wylted?