A Duck I Can Respect

Author: ethang5 ,

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  • ethang5
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    ethang5
    This is probably the greatest post to ever grace DDO. It was so duckilishious. I felt it needed to be here on Dart.

    Thett3, who is here now, has been laying low and has not rewarded us with anything this awesome so far. Read it in awe, and enjoy!



    Finally, A Duck I Can Respect

    thett3

    10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM
    Posted: 4 years ago

    I just witnessed the exploits of a duck that I have no doubt would hand my @ss to me in a fight.

    I was celebrating Friday by feeding the ducks at a park. Anyone who's fed ducks a lot will know that sometimes they'll fight. Well, these two ducks were preparing to fight (ducks fight mostly by grabbing each others necks or heads with their bills)--doing the standard posturing, taking jabs at each other. It seemed a pretty evenly matched fight--you can file that under "most wrong predictions ever".

    Something I've never seen before happened, just as the two were about to go at it and make feathers fly, from out of nowhere another duck came running to attack duck B, who will forever be known as badasss duck. Does Badasss duck care that it's now two on one? HELL NO. He's ready to kick some asss, so he does it.

    Badasss duck ducks and the other duck TRIPS OVER HIS NECK. Then in one smooth motion, he grabs his original opponents neck with his bill and slams his head into the ground and starts shaking him. The other duck gets up in a daze of confusion only to, impossibly, see badasss ducks bill of justice coming after him and they have a three way pecking match before the other two ducks run away like cowards.

    A high speed duck chase through to pond then develops as badasss duck chases the cowards across the pond for at least a minute, nipping at their tails until he finally catches one and holds his head underwater for at least 30 seconds before releasing him and coming back to shore a conquering hero.

    I've never seen such a performance. I dumped out my entire bag of feed at badasss ducks feet.

    I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wow.

    Thett3, props man, the ball is in your court. o√L,
  • RationalMadman
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    --> @ethang5
    You should also be scared by how they can run at you at 12 feet per second  or they can fly at 31.2 in comparison humans run at 26 miles an hour so they can fly and then pull out your eyes and then the could scare away everyone else so no one would help you and you would die a slow death. Don’t even try fighting back they can peck hard enough to cut you so you will bleed out and die. Also ducks are very quiet and can slice your throat open and then you will be dead...
    - Jboy3r, https://www.debateart.com/debates/284

  • ethang5
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    --> @RationalMadman
    Mercy.....
  • thett3
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    --> @ethang5
    stumbled onto this looking for another thread—appreciate the support. that was a weird year. I had an altercation with a goose as well that summer

    I will say I may have topped this post in autism by publishing a book based on my ddo writings (https://www.amazon.com/Collected-Works-Thett3-Thett-Three/dp/1719940940/ref=olp_product_details?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=1535901132&sr=8-1



  • RationalMadman
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    --> @thett3
    If you are free to post that abuse I am free to tell everyone that you have a disgustingly idiotic and vile depiction of what happened between me and DDO and you focus on and severely exaggerate one tiny event ignoring everything else surrounding it.
  • thett3
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    --> @RationalMadman
    i may not have actually written the one and only part where you were mentioned. Mikal and I wrote DDO High School together (I should’ve given him credit now that I think about it) the part with you and airmax definitely sounds like my writing so it was probably me but I’m not 100% sure 


  • Analgesic.Spectre
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    --> @thett3
    I will say I may have topped this post in autism by publishing a book based on my ddo writings (https://www.amazon.com/Collected-Works-Thett3-Thett-Three/dp/1719940940/ref=olp_product_details?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=1535901132&sr=8-1
    No comments are possible. There is only applause.

    *applause*

  • RationalMadman
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    --> @thett3
    A guy who scammed DDO of hundreds of dollars by feigning poverty and split the profit with bluesteel? HAHAHAHA, alright man. Like I could give less of a shit what he thinks. His 'loyalty to DDO' was worth over $1.3k or some shit and what did he do the next minute when you asked him to do something for the community? Ran away and wrote that abuse? Fucking joke, who the FUCK IS HE to speak of me that way. Little boy should be pissing himself, as he said I did in that story, right now.
  • ShabShoral
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    --> @Analgesic.Spectre
    I edited it C:

  • thett3
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    --> @Analgesic.Spectre
    fair lady, I am not worthy of your applause. All I wish for is a single, respectful nod in acknowledgement of the great sacrifices i have made in the name of autism (modern day chivalry)
  • Analgesic.Spectre
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    --> @ShabShoral
    I edited it C:
    Finally, a ShabShoral I can respect.

  • thett3
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    --> @RationalMadman
    You realize that out of almost 100 pages your part of the story is like half a page right? The entire collextion is far from an attack on you. Rather it’s an incredibly sophisticated commentary on contemporary issues that will be studied by generations to come
  • RationalMadman
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    --> @thett3
    Fascinating, the way you bullshit so eloquently.
  • thett3
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    --> @RationalMadman
    thank you
  • Analgesic.Spectre
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    --> @thett3
    *nods respectfully in acknowledgement of the great sacrifices you have made in the name of autism (modern day chivalry), whilst stating that I am doing so, in order to help your amazingly autistic mind comprehend, whilst also covering ears to prevent "m'lady's" from infecting me with autism, too*
  • Raltar
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    I believe ducks are the official meme for this website. 
  • ResurgetExFavilla
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    Truly, Thett3 is the Ibn Sina of DDO, and the Avicenna of DART.
  • Castin
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    --> @Raltar
    Our site heraldry should literally be two warrior ducks locked in mortal combat.
  • ethang5
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    --> @Raltar
    I believe ducks are the official meme for this website. 
    Hear, hear!!

    I now commission an artistic minion of Dart to create a duck meme for this kingdom to be presented to King Mike.

    Dart: Respect the Duck.
  • Mharman
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    --> @ethang5 @Jboy3r @Raltar @RationalMadman @thett3
    Perhaps it was the same duck that attacked Jboy3r.
  • Jboy3r
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    Ducks are spooky because of spooget 
  • Jboy3r
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    Finely a person who feels my pain
  • Mharman
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    --> @Jboy3r
    We should make the Duck the Official Website Mascot.
  • Jboy3r
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    --> @Mharman
     it isn’t ?

  • TheHammer
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    A post too good for this website. Shame you brought it here.