HOBBiT, HOBGOBLiN, GOBLiN.

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Hobbit,Hobgoblin, Goblin

INTRO

Thisdungeon is adjustable to any size party of low level (0-2) characterswith opportunities to add some shorty zero-levels at will. This dungeon isdesigned to be used as a one night 2-3 hour adventure that can beattached to any story with a party traveling outdoors. DM's are free toadjust any aspect to suit their storytelling needs.

Theplayers are all traveling together when they decide to stop to eatand rest at the bottom of a hill covered in dense brush. Is someoneon the lookout?

  • Lookoutsare surprised: DC19
  • Lookoutsare surprised to be surrounded by three hobbits which everybody knowsis just a smaller, hairier, more primitive version of halfling.
    • Allthree have their arms outstretched in a universal gesture of begging.
    • The only words they know in Common is “Goblin eat us help us,please.
      • Beyondthis, these hobbits can only speak in an ancient version of halflingwith a basic neutral vocabulary.
        • Speakers of underhill halfling understandthat these halflings are part of band living in the narrow valleyhidden in the brush above.
        • Their names are Odo Deerfoot, Tombo Took,and Dyan Honeytoe.
    • Speakers of either language can advise the restof the party these three are urgently looking for allies against anongoing Goblin incursion. They wish the party to come and meet with“Matoober” immediately.
      • If the party asks what isin it for them, the hobbits promise to be permanent allies and alsohint that “Matoober” may have some blessings to impart.
      • If theparty follows the hobbits they are a led through some thick brush toa nearly invisible steep, craggy valley with a steep, seeminglynatural stone staircase leading up through a lush overgrown woods ofhemlock, cedar and redwood
Thetrees are very fragrant and sweet smelling. A constant whispering ofwind in treetops is extremely relaxing white noise, almost hypnotic. In a small flattish clearing is circle of 10' tall cairns of riverstone. The stone circle is bout 11 ft in diameter with cairns ofbalanced stones spaced about 3 ft apart. A twelve pointed star ismown into the bright green grass in between the stone. Clearly, thisis a holy place to these hobbits. In the center of the circle standsa 12 ft tall plant.

Theplant looks eerily like a large halfling with twisty rootfingersinstead of hands and a 4 foot tall headdress of giant leaves.
  • This is Matoober
    • Anywizard or elf will recognize the plant as a mandrake except thisplant is about 20 times larger and apparently more alive like ananimal than a typical plant.
    • Hobbitsbegin to gather and sit cross-legged outside of the circle. Youcount
      • about twenty hobbits 8 adults and
      • 12 young hobbits
      • Two ladyhobbits, one very old and one very young wear gigantic head dressesexactly like the Matoober;
        • leaves emerging from a peanut-lookingwooden armor fashioned from the hollowed out root of giant mandrakes.
Matooberspeaks in a high inhuman squeak:
Strangersare welcome to Quell. Quell is hurt, many hobbits dead or taken. Taken worse than dead. The goblins found our spring and dug up frombelow. Now each night for 4 nights they attack and kill hobbits,take hobbits Matoober wants to save hobbits but Gods root helps besthere, in Quell. Follow my hobbits to the caves of the spring aboveand make the goblins chase you back to me. Here magic is strongest. Here we can defeat the goblin horde and save the taken. Help upstrangers, if you are friends of peace, if you are friends of Yddgrrlthe world's root than you are friends of Matoober and Hobbits then gowith the hobbits now, bring the goblins here, where Yddgrrl bless us,we shall end this time of sorrow.

  • Ifthe party agrees to help, the hobbits offer a a meal of
    • mashed redavocados with
    • spring green onions and
    • oakleaf crunch.
    • Matoober willsit silently while the village elders Rocky and Bekka Birdsclaw,explain that
      • a stealthy approach to the caves requires about an hourof climbing up the valley sides off the main path
      • The plan is  a short shock attack into the cave, hoping to kill a Hobgoblin or possibly freeing some captives and enrage the whole party and try to make them all come after you.
        • Then run like hell down the steep stairs that run along the stream., drawing the goblin horde after
      • The party should retreat down the main stairway/pathway and try to draw as manygoblins as possible into the Quell and spell range for Matoober. The scouts have counted 5 hobgoblins who rulea tribe of 20 to 30 goblins.
        • They emerged from the underdark fournights ago and have attacked each night just after sunset.
        • Theleaders appear to be a Fat Hobgoblin who swings a fearsome two-handedsword and
        • a Hobgoblin hedge-witch who rides a white owlbear and fires acruel crossbow as well as magic missiles. Six of the adult hobbitswill arm themselves and accompany the party up to the cave of thesprings.
4are zero-level hobbits with per-generated characters sheets. Fromthis point out, players can choose to play any of these 4 0-levelNPCs, temporarily or even permanently if they want, so long as theyremember there are children and godthings counting on the hobbitcommunity continuing.

Common knowledge is that the goblins eat their captives over several days of religiousceremonies but male captives are eaten quickly while females are usuallyblinded, hobbled, and made to bear hobgoblin children for as long asthose women live- a fate worse than death.

  • So far, thehobbits of Quell have lost
    • 12 adults and
    • one child to the goblins.
    • The body of the child and 4 other dead adults have been recovered and buried but
    • 8 hobbitsare unaccounted for and, judging by the screams, might still be alive in the cave.
  • Anymagic-users may choose to stay with Matoober in Quell and preparespells.
    • Matoober has a +10 spellcheck bonus but her spell casting islimited to 
      • 2xheal 1d8 to everybody touching Matoober within the circle.
      • Her best utility may be just to commune with other spell casters to give an extraroll and +5 spellcheck to spell casters from the protection of insidethe circle.

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Shock attack at Sunset

TriggerWarning: Playersare about to come upon a scene between two different humanoidspecies, the player with the highest INTscore may choose whether the interaction is described as

  • A scantily clad female is sitting on a male's lap
  • A topless female is threatened with fire
  • A naked, handcuffed female is having her leg amputated
  • A female is violently raped by a male.

Thereis 20' high rocky cave entrance, mostly concealed by heavy greendrapes of moss and vines.
  • Assume the party successfully approachedwithin 30' without detection, now the sun goes down behind a westernpeak and blue shadow fills the valley.
  • Players without metal armorhave a chance to move quietly on the entrance DC10 at 30', DC12 at20', DC14 at 10'. Roll once each check using the vanguard's bonuses.
    • Once heard, goblin guards at the entrance will raise the alarm with aloud “BREE-YARK, BREE-YARK” goblin for “fight! Fight!”
    • Onceheard, that is the players surprise round,
      • everybody get one actiondice before any goblin.
    • At 10' the party can see two goblinsstanding at the caves entrance looking out.
    • If the party wins allthree advances, they get a description of the cave as well asurprise.

Beyondthe mossy drapes obscuring the 20' high cave entrance players can seeinto a naturally made room, about 30' in diameter with the backfifteen feet filled with large round stones. The room is appealinglyappointed with furnishings made from the same round river rocks thatmade the cairn- flat rock tables balance on rounds stones, petrifiedtree trunks used as stools. A huge bonfire burns in the middle ofthe room lighting the whole cave up brightly, dancing orange.
Bythe fire, a six-foot tall hobgoblin sits on a round stone. Ascantily clad hobbit woman weeps in his arms. 12 goblins lie onrocks around fire.
OR
Bythe fire, a human-sized hobgoblin holds a topless hobbit womanover thefire, the hobbit woman's feet begin to sizzle. 12 goblins lean into the smell making yummy sounds.
OR
Bythe fire, a six-foot tall hobgoblin prepares to amputate a hobbitwoman's feet, the hobbit woman begins to scream. 12 hungry lookinggoblins stare like vultures at the prospect.
OR
Bythe fire, a six foot tall hobgoblin appears to be raping a naked,retching, hobbit woman while 12 or so goblins masturbate in a circlearound them.

  • Judgingby the two-handed sword resting on the stone beside him, this is theHobgoblin leader.
  • If the party killed the guards before they couldalarm, they get one round of free attack against the Hobgoblin andgoblins, at a distance of 20'.
  • On round two, six goblins will hurl spears at the party.
  • On round three, the Chief Hobgoblin will arrive, possibly pant-less but swinging his two-handed sword violently, and
    • flanked by two-knife wielding goblins.
  • On round four, 10 more goblins arrive with spears and long knives.
  • On round 5, 2 hobgoblins emerge from the back of the cave and arrive in one round
  • On round 6, 8 more goblins, the witch and her owlbear emerge from the back of the cave and arrive in one round.
  • On round 7, another hobgoblin emerges from the woods behind the players.

Ifthe party kills the big hobgoblin captain or rescues the hobbitwoman, the whole goblin troop but one will pursue the party down thestairs. One hobgoblin will stay at the cave to guard the captives.
  • Every player has to make 2 agility checks at DC5.
  • Any who falls onceare vulnerable to the witches crossbow attack
    • (the owlbear mostlyglides down the steep hill like a flying squirrel).
  • Any who falltwice are attacked prone by the charging goblins and in deep trouble unlessthe party turns to defend without the aid of the Quell.
  • Ifthe party decides to fight at the cave entrance, the owl bear shouldcharge and make them regret their courage.
    • Ifthe party doesn't kill the big hobgoblin captain or rescue the nakedhobbit,
      • Only 12 goblins, the witch, and one other hobgoblin willpursue but they'll only take a few losses before retreating back tothe cave.
        • The woman hobbit will be dead upon return


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LastStand at Stone Circle

Oncethe party makes the rocks of Quell they should enjoy a smalldefensive advantage (+2 vs missile weapons) but a big spell castingadvantage assuming that some spell casters are prepared.
  • The witchwill try magic missiles and crossbows and try to avoid anyspelldowns.
  • The goblins will fight to death because of thehobgoblins.
  • The hobgoblins will try to flee as soon as they areobviously losing, or the owlbear dies.
  • If all the hobgoblins flee,the remaining goblins will surrender and beg for mercy the next turn.
  • If Matoober invokes healing, any nearby hobgoblins might try DC12to grab a root instead of attack and enjoy the 1d8 heal. When thebattle is done, the surviving hobbits will want to assault the caveimmediately and try to rescue any survivors.
  • If all hobbits die, Matoober  turns into a non-magic plant.
    • If Matoober dies, allhobbits run away and are never seen again.

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Grim Rescue

Ifthe hobbits are confident they can take back the cave, they willapproach quickly by the creek stone stair pathway. If the cave isstill well-defended, they won't be surprised, day or night, for thenext two days while the screams of the survivors can be heard. Ifdown to a few, the survivors might be quickly butchering theircaptives for a long trip into the underdark.
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Spring Cave

1.Main Cave
Beyondthe mossy drapes obscuring the 20' high cave entrance players can seeinto a naturally made room, about 30' in diameter with the backfifteen feet filled with large round stones. The room is appealinglyappointed with furnishings made from the same round river rocks thatmade the cairn- flat rock tables balance on rounds stones, petrifiedtree trunks used as stools. Stalagmites and stalagmites aboundalthough many are broken or worn or carved with words in manylanguages. The bonfire is now down to coals, unattended by anygoblin.

Dependingon how effectively the party prosecuted the first two attacks, thecave could have many goblins and hobgoblins on high alert or it couldbe down to one hobgoblin wondering when her tribe will return. Ifthe former is the case, only one or two hobbit survivors will befound. If the latter, up to six hobbits can be found.

Thepool in the back of the cave usually has another ring of stackedcairn stone partly submerged in a foot of water but the goblins haveknocked down all the stones. The goblins haven't had enough time toreally desecrate the place, though and once the evidence of violencein removed this is a comfortable gathering place for small people. There are two tunnels at the back of the cave leading out from eitherside of the spring.
  • There is also a secret door in the dark backright-hand corner.
    • The door is not that well concealed behind somemoss- DC 5 to spot, but
    • consists of one huge 500 lb stone.
      • To move thestone is DC22 strength check, add an extra roll and strength bonusfor each extra helper up to three.
        • Even if all fail, you can tryagain in 10 minutes.
        • Matoober will arrive the following evening andwill move the stone if players have not managed it.
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2. Breached Pantry
Theleft hand passage is carved for hobbits and too small for humans todo anything but crawl on hands and knees. The inner wall has manyniches and shelves carved from stone. Judging by the smashedpottery, this tunnel was used to store foodstuffs, equipment,weapons. Most of this stuff looks stolen or despoiled.
Asolid effort will yield a few useful remainders.

  • A clay pot full of roasted chestnuts
  • A jar of walnut oil
  • A jar of olive oil
  • A stout 50' robe made of twisted root
  • Some tough but protein rich acorn bread
  • 3 small, sharp ivory arrowheads
  • 2 gallon jug of sarsaparilla root beer
    • 10gp value
  • A leather pouch with 10oz cured pipe weed
    • 20gp value

Theseitems can be stolen without much interference but the surviving hobbitswill be resentful if any of their stuff is simply taken.
  • They dofeel an obligation to reward the party and will offer to split any ofthese goods.
Any male hobbits killed by goblins will be butchered and stored here. Femalehobbits kept for impregnation are bound here, blinded and hobbled.
  • They will need much healing.
Thirtyfeet in is a pile of dirt and stone and a crude tunnel emerges fromthe floor. This was the original breach the goblins used to attackfour nights ago. A long steep goblin sized passage leads down intodarkness. At the entrance to the passage is a baby snowyowlbearcub. It is the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Theowlbearcub has a 22 personality and he weighs 25lbs. Players mustSAVE vs will DC16 or fall in love with Snarly. His name is Snarlyany survivors will tell you- they are Snarly charmed, even thechoppedup  hobbit girls are charmed. Snarly may seem like a major prize butthis critter will double in size every three months until he reaches1600 and can quietly glide hundred of feet on air to sneak attackmoose, elk, buffalo, etc.

Everythree months, Snarly sill loose one bonus point of personality andgain one bonus point of strength and stamina. By the time Snarly isfull grown, he won't be cute anymore but he will powerful. At thattime, anybody in love with Snarly can voluntarily roll a new charmSAVE vs will DC4 once per month until Snarly isn't cute no more.

6month from now, this owlbear will be too large and unpredictable toremain uncaged and caged, will soon turn into an extremely dangerousbeast.

Ifditched in the wild, this beast will likely start harassing somehumanoid habitation.

Somespell casters may find this creature useful for charming or adoptingas a formidable familiar. Cute as he is right now, Snarly canprobably be sold at the right market for 400gp+100gp per personalitybonus.  Owl bear feathers in good condition are often worthe 10gp each, used for spells and totems and such.

Ifan intrepid adventurer explores the hole:
it leads down at a sharpangle for an hour of climbing with lots of goblin spoor to attestrecent passage. After an hour, the down tunnel opens into a larger,more finished tunnel with signs of orc traffic. Dwarves will warnthe party they might no be prepared to travel these roads yet.


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3. The grotto ofsoft furs

Theright-hand passage leads to a hobbit sized latter leading up ten feetto a small comfortable room lined with various soft animal pelts.

Thislittle room served as a bedchamber for any hobbits guarding the caveor overnighting after too much pipe weed.  Unbutchered hobbits will be hiding out here, including the hobgoblin's victim from earlier. They arestripped of any clothes or equipment will be guarded by the last ofthe hobgoblins. A female who has been kinder to the hobbits than anyof the other guards the passage and to prevent escape. If the otherhobgoblins are dead, she might be convinced to simply leave or evenjoin a party so long as no elves are in the party. Her name isChorgeena Chukka.
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4. Secret room
Thisroom is obviously magic with many strange and ancient runes carved onthe floor. Stalactites hang down from the low ceiling, manyilluminated by glowing mosses and sparkling mica making their ownlight in weird neon colors, oranges, blues, purples, green. Thefloor is dimpled with tiny cup shapes, carved out by the erosion fromslow drips of water off the stalactites forming psychedelicallycolorful pools, each from 4 to eight inches in diameter.

Ifthe Matoober is with the party she will identify 4 useful puddlesfrom which magic potions can be extracted. Otherwise randomly roll. Even small tastes will have the full effect and no effect willrepeat.

  1. One potion of massive healing- 25 hps or heal one major harm- amputation, etc.
  2. One potion of 22 strength for 2d6 rounds
  3. One potion of god-tripping. Combined with pipe weed, the imbiber can speak with his or her patron directly in dreams. Think of this like a risk-free invoke patron only the imbiber does not need to be a spell caster DC2 but a fumble is a bad overdose- 4d10 damage.
  4. One potion of painful death. Smells and tastes just like root beer but DC18 Fort or muscles, veins, intestines begin to knot up and strangle each other. Roll 2d6 for duration and for 1d6 + 1d6 per round after first. (so, at sixth round of poison, it is an ADDITIONAL 6d6 damage). Survivors are crippled for days.
5-12d12Noeffect.

Thesepotions can't be replicated because they involve unique interactionsof cave water and mandrake root. If these potions are taken, notgiven the relationship with the mandrake and hobbits is poisoned aswell.

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Hobbit Survivors

OdoDeerfoot, Tombo Took, Kandra Honeytoed, Elfiro Beartooth, seecharacter cards. Any or all of these may be adopted by party membersfor long or short duration so long as the party is in alliance withQuell.

ChiefRocko Birdsclaw: INIT +3; ATK 2xshortsword +3/+2x1d6+3 or bow +0 missile/+1d6 AC18braided root armor +2; HD 2d6; HP 10; MV 20; ACT 2x1d16 SV Fort+`1, Ref +4, Wil +2 AL N

DamaBekka Birdsclaw: INIT +2; ATK blowgun dart +1missile/+1d3 + DC10fort or +2d6 for next 3 rds ; AC 14 mandrake shell;HD 2d6; HP 9; MV 20'; ACT 1d20; SP Tanglefoot DC14ref or trapped in place until 20 damage vs AC 9 roots,fumble=damage to feet SV Fort+2, Ref+4 +2,Wil; AL N

CaptainHoneytoe: INIT +4; ATK 2xivory handaxes 2x+2 1d16/2x1d6+2 or +2 handaxe 1d20 missile/1d6+2; AC 14(+2 goblinbone armor); HD 1d6; HP 10; MV 30'; ACT 2x1d16 or 1x1d20; SV Fort+3, Ref+4, Wil+1; AL N

PriestessSheela Eel: INIT -1; ATK blowgun dart +1 missile/+1d3 + DC10fort or +2d6 for next 3 rds; AC 14 (+4 mandrake shell) HD 1; HP 7; MV 20'; ACT 1d20; SP: +4barkskin DC12 or lose spell, touched target get +4AC -10'MV perround over 11. (a roll of 15 gets 4 rounds) SV Fort+3, Ref+1, Wil+3; AL N

Matooberthe Giant  Talking Mandrake:INIT -2;ATK -1root constriction/1d3 damage+DC15 or -4 agility (cumulative) HD 12d8; HP 64; MV 3'; ACT 2x1d20; SP: +10 spellecheck Tanglefoot DC14ref or trapped in place until 20 damage vs AC 9 roots,fumble=damage to feet, Heal +1d8 twice/day, target must be touching; SV Fort+4, Ref-4, Wil+6; ALN
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Goblin Invaders

TheGrey Garden Goblins aresmall, slimegreen with black moles and jaundiced looking eyes. Typically, will only fight until no Hobgoblins are around to commandthem. Each carries 2 spears, mostly from the hobbit's armory.

20Goblins: INIT -1; ATK longknife -1melee/1d4-1 or spear -1missile/1d6-1; AC: 12 humanoid leather orstolen hobbit woodslat armor ;HD 1d6-1; HP 1d6-1; MV 20'; ACT 1d20; SV Fort-2, Ref+1, Wil-2; AL L

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Hobgoblin Bullies
TheGrey Garden Hobgoblins are taller,pinker goblins with big black moles and a certain humanoidintelligence behind their yellow eyes. All but one are sadistic,damaged, cruel bastards

GreatGoblin Tro Nuld Dump: INIT +3 ; ATK 2 handed sword +2 (+1/+4 vs elves)/ 1d10+1/+4vs. elves; AC: 16 (+4 scale mail almosthuman size); HD 3d6+1; HP 12; MV 20'; ACT 1d20 ; SV Fort+3, Ref+2, Wil+4; AL L

MagicSword: Elfender” +1 tohit/1d10+1 2 handed damage SP: +4 to hit/+4 damage vs. elves, detectselves within 100', glows pink when elves detected, also a mithrilmagic mouth on the hilt will warn the swordbearer with a harshwhisper in goblin tongue once every round while any elf is within100' “ugee, mook-mook, ugee” which means “kill that elf” ingoblin. This sword can only be destroyed by goblin blood, whichcauses it to rapidly crumble into a pile of corrosion; ; CRIT on 19or 20, FUMBLE on 1 or 2; INT: 5 VALUE: shiftsradically from one market to another 10gp in an elf-friendly marketup to 2500gp in a elf-hating market.

MaBob the Missile Witch: INIT -1; ATK crossbow +0/+1d6 bolt; AC 11 +1 leather cloak; HD 2d6; HP 7; MV 20'/20'riding owlbear/30' owlbear glide for 1d4 turns; ACT 1d20; SP: +4check, magic missile,magic shield; Wand ofResurrection: resurrect one dead hobgoblin once/day; SV Fort+2, Ref+2, Wil+6; AL N

Wandof Resurrection: appears to madefrom ta human child's arm and hand, mummified. The brittle skin istattooed with a spell written in goblin but this is actually adefense measure- if read out loud in goblin, DC40 vs will for dramabut every outcome should result in the wand burning with a blacksmoky fire for four round and self-destruct while also re-animatingthe owlbear or if the owlbear is not dead, a goblin. The actualresurrection trigger is lost with Ma Bob no matter what.

SharLee the Snowy Owlbear: INIT +1; ATK bite +6 melee (1d6+2) or claw +4 melee (1d4); AC 17; HD 3d8; HP 17MV 20’ or climb 10’ or glide 30' for 1-4 rounds; Act 2d20; SP spellresistance;SV Fort +4, Ref +1, Will +8; AL C

Snarlythe Baby Snowy Owlbear: INIT +1; ATK bite+1 melee (1d3+1) or claw +1 melee (1d3+1) AC 17; HD 1d8; HP 6; MV 10' or 15' glide for 1-4 rounds; Act 2d20; SP spellresistance;SV Fort +4, Ref +1, Will +8; AL N

2Hobgoblins: INIT +2; ATK +2 scimitar/ +1d8+2 or whip +2melee (1d6 plus DC 14 Ref save or be entangled) ; AC 14 scale +4; HD 1d8+2; HP 8; MV 20'; ACT 1d20; SV Fort+1, Ref+1, Wil-1; AL L

ChorgeenaChukka: asthe other 2 hobgoblins if fought but see 0 level character card ifconvinced to join party.


Intelligence_06
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Hey, a new gaming category thread in a few months.
RationalMadman
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This is basically spam lol

13 days later

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@RationalMadman
Said someone who created multiple threads outrageous of the election results + soliciting for oneself in the next election. Do we call that spam?

None of the two classes of posts would enter my array of classified "spam" for any reason, because I don't think either are. If a post is constructive in telling something, it is not spam, as analyzed within a span of 2.5 years of me being on this site, staring at no less than 10,000 posts cumulatively. If you say this, you might as well say that Ebuc's posts are spam because he posts all those threads and we don't know what they convey until they explain.

And finally, as a academic nerd of a stereotypical asian like me, I literally don't know the first thing about games with similar atmosphere to D&D. Thanks to this post, I get to spend 20 minutes off my professor lecturing something I have literally completed the homework mistakenly one night before and can predict the next line literally thanks to that "bad" decision. So, objectively and subjectively, I consider this non-spam.
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@Intelligence_06
What are you even talking about?

This guy made a thread and posted like 8 long posts in a row to it. He does this a lot.
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@RationalMadman
So? You are the first one to complain about it. Tell me more.
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@Intelligence_06
You're whining about someone whining, while trying to act like the troll. It's cringe as it gets.
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@RationalMadman
And if I was whining, then you are whining about someone whining about something that you have whined about. I don't know how much better that is, for anything's sake.
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@Intelligence_06
I don't endure bitches, I block them.
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@RM

Out of all the things I have done, THIS is the one that broke your turtle's neck?