There is a good rule: when you are offered two chairs on some event which you have to attend, the best thing to do is to pick the third one.
My opponent suggested that there are only two choices, one either has a tough upbringing and gets successful or he or she doesn't and it ruins the one's life. That's exactly an example of that choice out of two chairs.
Upbringing is not a linear and straightforward process. This is a complicated "scheme", in which the decisive role belongs to both the goal that the parents set and the feedback from the child, not just a simple choice of methodology.
To begin with, it is necessary to decide what is the main goal of the relationship between the parents and the child? If the goal is to provide and take care of the parents when they get senile, it's one thing, if it's development of leadership skills of the child in the future, it's another thing and so on and so forth. And it is worth mentioning that a man, like any creature is not plastic, and one is initially genetically prone to have some abilities, which would be rational to develop and some weaknesses development of which must be avoided.