The user known as SupaDudz should ask out his crush as soon as reasonably possible!
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With 1 vote and 1 point ahead, the winner is ...
- Publication date
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- Three days
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- Open voting
- Voting period
- One month
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-Ask out can mean anything from asking her on a date, asking her to be your girlfriend.
-As soon as reasonably possible means the next time you have a reasonable opportunity to talk to her without any unrelated pressing concerns that would get in the way (i.e. you're going on vacation, she's in the hospital, etc)
-BOP is equal
That she might say no. This is an understandable fear, but it is a fear billions of people in his position have both tackled and overcome throughout human history. SupaDudz’s crush might say no and she might say yes.
SupaDudz won’t ever know until he asks her.
That alone could drop my reputation, what a lot of high schoolers care about nowadays. But with social media and how easy it is to access. Anybody could expose who I liked and make fun of me for it. Especially if that person is popular(which she is), they could tell their friends, which could embarrass me
CON’s first argument is that in light of the fact that he has only been talking to his crush for one month, his chances of getting her to say YES are very low. CON cites various factors such as popularity, past experience, etc. He further tells us that his crush has merely displayed a few signs that would suggest she is interested, as opposed to a number of non-verbal cues. CON ultimately concludes that asking his crush out now would be ‘jumping the gun.’
Quite the contrary. It is true that various factors can increase one’s chances of being successful in asking a woman out. It is also true that various non-verbal cues can be indicative of one’s chances. But we need merely refer back to my R1 source to see why this philosophy has no merit. CON’s argument is premised on chance so lets not forget the chance that there is something about CON that assures that this girl will NEVER say yes. Lets not forget the chance that someone else will ask this girl out while CON keeps waiting for the ‘right’ moment.
CON would have you believe that slowly and methodically relying on all these various factors is his key to success, but as my R1 source so eloquently pointed out, “[W]omen don't wait around forever. They've got options. Competition's fierce.” And as my R1 source additionally indicated, “because attraction has an expiration date, the longer you wait to make something happen with a woman, the lesser her attraction for you becomes -- and the more likely she is to be closed off to doing anything with you.”
What’s more, CON is not a mind reader so he has no idea what factor will truly increase this girl’s chance of saying yes and further has no idea when any particular signal referred to in his article is merely a gross misunderstanding.
[Re:  Timeframe]
CON tells us that not enough time has passed for him to determine whether his lovely crush is a good person or if they care to have a relationship, but this justification not only fails for the reasons cited in his chance-based justifications, but also due to the simple fact that his concerns is ultimately the purpose DATING serves to achieve. No one is asking CON to get married. He needs merely ask her out on a date. It is at that point (or throughout the dating process) that he can evaluate whether he wants to have a committed relationship with her.
CON says ‘jumping the gun’ would ruin his friendship with her, but there are scores of people who are still close friends despite having previously been a couple or one previously having asked the other out. As my R1 source makes clear, he should avoid making the ‘asking out a big deal’ and should only ask his crush out on a high note. That means NOT to perform some ridiculously over-the-top romantic gesture when asking her out (i.e. walking in front of the entire school at an assembly and formally declaring his feelings for her) and NOT while she’s talking to her friends or after a biology test (instead, do it while she’s having a good time talking to you).
[Re:  It's Not As Easy As It Seems Nowadays]
CON’s argument is that things have changed in the past 15+ years and that asking a girl out is not as easy as it once was due to social media and whatnot. He says one reaction someone might have to him asking out his crush is that he is a creep, thereby dropping his reputation. And with the advent of social media, scores of people could embarrass him.
But not only have things not changed to the extent CON is suggesting , but the risk he is talking about will be a risk no matter how long he waits and is a risk he shouldn’t care about since social media is already populated with trolls/assholes. If anything, CON should savor this risk as it will not only prove that he has the courage to put himself on the line, but is the bold/courageous choice of action that may even be the factor that makes his crush say yes.
CON’s excuse that his crush might come back onto the market is unpersuasive. Not only is there empirical evidence to indicate why waiting for a girl to “get on the rebound” is a poor strategy, but there’s also empirical evidence to suggest that women tend to make up their mind about someone in as little as three minutes and rarely deviate. In CON’s case, his strategy is to take an unknown amount of time waiting for the right moment for this girl to get in and out of a relationship just so that he may ask her out when it’s possible that she might reject him anyway or the relationship might be terrible.
CON again says he doesn’t know this girl enough. Balderdash! By CON’s own admission, he has known this girl for a month. And based on the extent to which he talks about her in his poems, he has gotten ample time to know her. When you can write poems about someone to the extent that you might get a book deal, you know them very well! In regards to impacting friendships, refer back to what I said about not making a big deal of things and asking her out and doing so on a high note.
[Re:  Not As Easy As It Seems Nowadays]
CON cites his fear of social media violence/suicide, but what he once again disregards is that meager possibility of someone being a jerk on social media is a possibility no matter when CON chooses to ask his crush out. If anything, CON has given justification to NEVER ask anybody out, which he clearly does not want to do (see poems).