I'm not racist

Author: TheUnderdog

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TheUnderdog
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I believe the confederate flag should be burned by those that own one.

I believe ICE should be abolished.

I believe Affirmative Action should be eliminated as it considers race.

I believe anyone who murdered an Asian person because of COVID should be tried for murder and executed.

I believe Qualified immunity should be repealed (most people this benefits wouldn't vote for me if I ran for POTUS, but that is irrelevant; it should still be repealed).

I'm not racist, but there exists a sporadic pain in my head that came as a result of me getting fired from a job I've had for about 2 years.  The only way the pain can get reduced temporarily is by me uttering very offensive words.  I've tried, "Get out of my fucking head" and it worked with short term relief for a while, but it's starting to fade away.  I've resorted to, "Get out of my jack nasty head you stupid son of a goat fucker and enjoy getting blowjobs from your cousin's sister" and it currently provides some sort term relief, but eventually, this will go the way of, "Get out of my fucking head".

I'm worried it will turn into a phrase that will involve me uttering the N word (hard r) and I don't want to utter it randomly only for some black stranger to get offended over what they (and honestly most people, including my parents and even my therapist) have no idea about and beat me up over it.

I need to prevent this from happening.  I take meds; they don't work.
RationalMadman
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I'm not racist, but there exists a sporadic pain in my head that came as a result of me getting fired from a job I've had for about 2 years.  The only way the pain can get reduced temporarily is by me uttering very offensive words.  I've tried, "Get out of my fucking head" and it worked with short term relief for a while, but it's starting to fade away.  I've resorted to, "Get out of my jack nasty head you stupid son of a goat fucker and enjoy getting blowjobs from your cousin's sister" and it currently provides some sort term relief, but eventually, this will go the way of, "Get out of my fucking head".
Right
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I can teach you tips to gain self control but based on all I've seen of you here you are too stubborn and don't respect me enough to take the advice.
Best.Korea
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I learned that one can reduce own pain by causing pain to others, but dont cause too much pain. Also, insulting people can make you forget about your own problems and as a result can reduce your pain. Also, I am willing to volunteer to be your insult victim if you want, and I will even be triggered.
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@TheUnderdog
I take meds; they don't work.
Try changing meds, maybe take one of the hormones of happiness, for example dopamine.
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@TheUnderdog
Make no mistake, all one has to do is put forth any baseless narrative that you are a racist that never has to be proved and you are now definitely racist. See any political play book, its called the race card. There is nothing or anyone that isn't racist or cant be made racist.
TheUnderdog
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@RationalMadman
Well what's your advice?
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@TheUnderdog
I need to prevent this from happening.  I take meds; they don't work.
This sounds like a conversation you need to have with a therapist. There is no medical explanation for why ranting about a goat fuckers cousin's sister would bring you relief from physical pain, or why the n word would be any more effective. Something is going on within you and I doubt anyone here is qualified to help you figure it out.
TheUnderdog
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@Best.Korea
 Also, I am willing to volunteer to be your insult victim if you want, and I will even be triggered.
Then I get addicted to doing it and I don't want to start that, even if it's online.

Try changing meds, maybe take one of the hormones of happiness, for example dopamine.
That's called doing drugs.
TheUnderdog
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@sadolite
There is nothing or anyone that isn't racist or cant be made racist.
Some people be acting like that, but normal people shrug it off if it's not a realistic claim.  Like people don't call Joe Rogan racist too much anymore.  Cancelling someone is short term and they get over it.
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@Double_R
 Something is going on within you and I doubt anyone here is qualified to help you figure it out.
The therapists don't know what it is either.
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@TheUnderdog
@Best.Korea
Tip: Compliments trigger Best.Korea more than insults.
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@TheUnderdog
Then I get addicted to doing it and I don't want to start that, even if it's online.
Well, fine. I guess its maybe better to be peaceful in life, just that its not fun.
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@Savant
Tip: Compliments trigger Best.Korea more than insults.
Thats because I have oppositional defiant disorder, and I dont know how to respond to compliments as its difficult to hate those who praise you, and I kinda wanna hate them but at the same time feel bad that I hate them, so I get triggered.
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@TheUnderdog
I stand by my statement 100%. Lives are destroyed by redbaiters every day.
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Think in the good moments you experienced each time you have these episodes of rage. It works for me.

Meditation is also good to calm down the mind.