Prayer Works

Iran's leader Sayyed Ali Khamenei called on the Iranian nation on Sunday to pray for the safe return of President Ebrahim Raisi and his companions, including Foreign Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian, whose fate remains unknown after their helicopter made an emergency landing while on their way back from an official visit in Azerbaijan.

Tru dat !

Its only commen sense that ( prayer works ) 

Butttttttt .

Its only commen sense that prayer does not work If your not facing mecca, 

My commen sense wont turn off. 

 Sooooooooo

That aside,

To get to the bottom of prayers working and not working

We need to run us some tests . 

Everyone get in pairs .

Come along. 

No one wants to be partners with Stephen ? 

' a light chuckling '  is heard 

Trade you can partner with Stephen.  

Ok Now, 

What im gonna have you  do isss,  

One of you will spin the other around real real fast in a office chair . 

( thus simulating that of a out of control helicopter.  ) 

When max speed is reached 

you are to ,   fire off a quick, 

( 10 Muslim prayers . )  rapid fire. 

   

And most importantly. 

Take note of how many of them prayers out of 10 hit the required "mecca allotment" in the red Zone of the designated area,   

for prayer to be counted.  

Simple right? 

Oh and  , Also whilst we have our ( commen sense alators )  still out. 

Ask it. 

Whats is the more safer mode of transport.   

Flying  horses  or  Helicopter.  ? 

Common sense says that are pretty much even hey ? 

Actully Forget about that. 

Reminder.

⊙⊙⊙⊙    Switch off.     ⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙

ya commen sense alators before putting them away. 

As The battery for them are NOT CHEAP.

DONT FORGET.  

NOW WE COMPILE.

Conclusion.  

Prayer dosnt work. 

I should of fucking know hey. 

What a complete waste of time that was. 

Flrw. ?

You didn't get the prayer thing working did you? 

Show us how you got to the conclusion of 

( prayers working ) 

OH FUCK . 

HANG ON. 

im soooo fucking embarrassed right now . 

Its right hand clockwise belly rubs and left hand head taps . 

When praying.  

I was doing it back to front. 

Your right FLRW. 

PRAYERS do in fact WORK. 

I should never of doubted you FL. 

I feel like quite a fool. 

Im out. 

Guys, whats the most common excuse for why prayers dont work? 

Maybe people in Iran are secretly atheists.

That must be it!

Those evil atheists!

Bad aim.

Wrong hole. 

Hey have you ever noticed that . 

Sometime You could be like close to 10 ° of the direcky of the mecc mecc. 

But still , your prayer gets recived.  ? 

There was this One time  i was like a whopping , 14° off target but still . 

Prayer was recived.  

Yes 14° off targ. 

So odd hey? 

But That exactly why i don't eat sun dried tomatoes.  

When you send off your prayers half the time its collected by a Hindu god. 

As They are EVERYWHERE.   

They are always getting in the direct line of contact. 

This along with the fact that.

Christian  Prayers and  Muslim prayers look so fucking similar. 

 

 

great work

Well

You'll be happy to know that. 

For a small fee of less then 41 cups of coffee.  

My prayer tracker APP really delivers.  

It has so much functionality. 

From sent and received tones . 

To .

Prayer granted info. 

You got.the very popular  DTYSG service.  

Thats  a( Direct to your selected God )

That comes with a 100% accuracy rate orrrrr, you maybe get ya money back. 

 

( i was gonna mega elaborate )

but i need to quick go th the shops. ) 

So can now you Invent the ,,, (  direct to your god  APP ) 

50/ 50. 

Back in 10mins 

 

Ive been sneakily praying for all you guys now for months hey. 

I pray for like real bad stuff to happen to you lot. 

And goddly and  oddly enough.  When i pray for someone else.  

It comes up as . ( a prayer from them . 

They prayed the prayer for themselves.  

You know what i mean  

And i pray real real hard for the most horrible of horrible things to alll fall upon you bastards.  

A quick question air. 

Any one noticing any odd changes happening  to themselves of late. ?

Any one finding it more diff to mantain an erection ?

Any deaths in ya family yet ? 

Welllllll give it another month and youllll all be living shit arse lives.

Ummm.

Amen.

Ya alllll dead mutha fucker. 

A month. 

Oh crap. 

This is not ment for you brute. 

Its. Alllll the others . 

For example.  I say 

Dear god . 

Thats how i start. 

I say DEAR GOD . 

I AM PRAYING TO YOU ON BEHALF OF  Best Kora. 

Then ________________and to end his _____ life_______

_______ soon. 

He HATES YOU GOD . I tell him . 

He thinks your gay and other vile nonsense.  

God then recives and ecepts said prayer.  

And likenand day now . 

Yalll fucked

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE.

THE NEGATIVE PRAYER. 

OR 

THE ANTI PRAYER.  

 

Can i get a AMEN.

Prayers work like that right. 

Ive had quite a few religious people from time to time offering to pray for me. 

With me. 

As you lot have . 

I allow them to.   Im cool with that. 

( of course i secretly have my fingers crossed.  ) 

Im not a fucking idiot. 

But ummmmmm. Yeah. 

Im getting how these prayer things work.

Soon ill be like a pro prayer,  like a real good one.

Youll think of me like . 

Danm . That guy is such a real good prayer.  

er. 

Andddddd,

You've never seen such a hi quality kind of prayer like me. 

Rapid prayers . 

Yeah. 

One day soon.

Oh 

ITS A MF  PRAYER OFF . Now bitch 

Does Any one here dare  

No but seriously. 

Not meaning to boast. 

Buttttttt.

When it comes to praying.  

Im prob one of the best right. ?

Right?

My fave prayer is.   

Can i get a million bucks god ?

Congratulations.  

I just prayed for a win fall for you with in two weeks . 

Enjoy my good friend. ,

You are welcome.  

Cash ? 

Of course. 

Its always cash . 

And sometimes hot looking sluts . 

But mostly i ask for cash. 

Didn't Stormy say, can I get Aman instead of a Trump?

What the 

I feel someone just anti prayer on me . 

Which one of you cunts just prayed bad things on me . 

 I combat it . 

Do not be dickheads guys and PRAY bad stuff upon me ok .

DON'T. 

Grow the fuck up.

Oh hell NO. 

AND AGAIN.  

who the fuck did that one. 

Stop Bad praying for me. 

You. Fuckers

 

Great God of the sky

I beg of you, hear my cry

Awaken from your orb of light

Bring me victory in this fight

Envelop the deserts with your glow

Cast your rage upon my foe

Awaken your power from deep within

Together we will win

I please you, grace our humble game

But first I shall call out your name

Winged Dragon of Ra!

Is that the correct prayer sent to correct God?

The religious people have a problem where even if they guess the correct God, they might use incorrect prayer which God doesnt like lol

Theists are GREAT RELIGIOUS GROUP PICKERS. 

They should put on a class for the atheists. 

How to pick the correct group. .

I personally think i would pick a incorrect one approximately 10 maybe 15 times before cracking it.n

But the stats speak for themselves.   

We asked every theist on this site if they are in the correct group.  ? 

EVERY MUTHA FUCKING ONE OF EM .

ARE SPOT ON.

The atheists wouldn't have a clue what religious group is the correct one. 

Its This and group singing that the theists excel hey. 

Now .

Its only a suspicion butttttt. 

I think when we die , there may infact be a ummmm , a group singing task like thing to see if we go to like a good place or a bad place.

Picture them theist rat bastards snickering at us fools for think8ng singing songs together in good quality dosnt mean anything.

Its just a suspicion.  

If i was told at a young age that. 

IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN GOD , 

YOUR LIFE WILL HAVE VERY LITTLE TO NO GROUP SINGING WHAT SO ALL. 

I may of stayed a belever. 

Sooo. 

We need to warn the young ones of this. 

Because.  

NO GOD MEAN NO SINGING SONGS TOGETHER,  

SOOOOOO. 

Let us now give cred were creds jew. 

I mean due.

TO THE THEISTS

GREAT RELIGIOUS GROUP PICKERS.  

AND 

AWSOME GROUP SINGERS.  

Atheists could never match them in these areas of ummmmmmmm. 

Expert fucking tees 

THE THEISTS.  

' Tips hat. ' 

Ps 

Please Teach us how to pick our religious group .

Thanks guys,

Fuck8ng wankers.

Xoxi

One.

Two.

Three, 

Yesss , i got em

Thats 3 Anti - prayers right there. 

Ya'll now have. 

HPV. 

Fingers crossed.  

If you ever see a god , 

Yell at it and repeat over and over 

What religious group should i be in .

What religious group should i be in. 

Thats allllllll ya need to know. 

DONT FORGET IT.

practice it. 

What religious group should i be in.

What religious group shoukd i be in.

As soon as he relays  this . 

You insta join that group . 

Instantly. 

No but seriously, 

Imagine joining a religious group , never having met like a actual god. 

Thus never been told to join this group or that group. 

Just like picking one and fucking running with it for the rest of ya entire life. 

Ya need some fuckinf balls for shit like that right. ?

Them crazy lose mutha fuckers.

Thed be like .

Lets go withh shit IDK 

Yeah That one..

Then just follow it to a fuck8ng tee until ya die. 

And never question it. 

I liking that to picking a tattoo. 

Id hate for god to pop up and go ,

Join the JW.

ID be like . That wasn't god.

It wasnt.

And pretend it never happened.

I think Having 3 maybe 4 wives would be pretty cool. 

Sooooo. 

Im hoping god tells me to join one of them ones. 

GODS didn't design helicopters.

Its soooooo good how we can prayer for others hey. 

I just rattled a further  20 , negative prayers. 

Allllll about you guys. 

I prayed that Ya'll  taken from us in real horrible ways. 

And SOON TO. 

( Ouch , i genuinely felt bad typing that. )

I haven't been anti praying on all your behalfs. 

Guys.

I wouldn't do that. 

 No i didn't 

I did not prayer for you to die in a grease fire.

I fucken didn't.  

Ok well then prove it.  

hehehehh, 

The NEGATIVE PRAYERER , Strikes again. 

This so called "power"  of this,  prayer . 

Im thinking it would be on par with , ( upon a star wishing ) 

Wishes.   v   Prayers. 

A prayer surly wouldn't be as ummmm , strong as like, 

( Blowing out candles on a cake wishing. ) 

that being  prob the most powerful type of wish that one could perform.  

No way 

You would however think prayer is more powerfull then .

( eyelash blowing ) 

Anddd , 

( flower petal blowing )

( Wishing well wishes work well )  . 

This form of wishing.  A wishing well)  woukd  have produced more ummm favorable outcomes then god praying.  

( god praying )  

ANDDDDDD .   GOT ya. 

And you to.  

The Whacky ○ Wishy ○ Washy ○ Wisher ○ Wins ○ again.  

I  just wished all of you guys prayers are never answered. 

You felt that right.  The hit from that wish? 

' deflection ' 

Your prayer for me to stop wishing bad wishes  has failed once again. 

Let us now do a reading from . 

The great book of Wishes.  And lets go with the MMV  (Micky Mouse version)  

 

Deb  24 : 58 

Star light,

Star bright.

Fisrt mutha fucken  star.

I  mutha fucking  see tonight. 

I wish i may.

I wish i might. 

Have this wish .   

I wish tonight.  

 

ANY GUESSES ON WHAT THIS WISHTURE MEANS ??.  

Fucked if i know. 

Anyways .

Ya'll all be dead any day now. 

Best wishes guys. ? 

Guys. 

Im not offering you best wishes. 

Im asking 

best wishes? 

( candle on a cake wishers  ) 

D

E

A

D

 

Wishing

Or

Praying. 

Praying or wishing..  

Hang the fuck on . 

Let us combine.

A prayer and a wish 

Pray-wishing.

Or

Wish-praying. 

Or 

Wishfull praying.   

( A prish)  thats cute hey . 

A prayer and a wish . 

A prish. 

Here is a indication of how wishes are more powerful the prayers . 

Ready  ? 

Ok Feel this.  

(   I prayer that you were dead.  )  

Let it sink in. 

Ok.    Orrrrrrr

 (  I wish that you were dead. )  

Fucking bammmmmmmmmmmm right. . 

You felt that. 

WISHES WIN.  

respect my wishes.  

 BUT Seriously 

I wish you'd shut the fuck up deb.m

Ok.

Good game .

Good game. 

Type "Iran prayer Eid Fitr Namaz" on youtube and watch an Imam Hussein Mosque naturally filling itself with 40,000 attendees. The numbers are common in any muslim congregration (not just Shia, but also Sunni).

So, at any given time, at least 40,000 prayed for the safe return of women-hating Raisi and his goons. That also includes my mother, a sunni, who's also praying and crying over Raisi.

Looks like Allah couldn't care less.

 Maybe it did for those that prayed the butcher would die.

Tru-dat !

You are presenting an argument by anecdote.

Would you rather live?  

Because one of these places is really religious.  The other place you would prefer to live.

Prayer didn't really help out the South Sudanese.

You can counter with:

Yes, I would rather live.

Lol; my bad.

I meant, would you rather live in.