......or at least 99.99% of them will go to hell.
You see, there are 10,000 Gods known to be worshiped around the world, each claiming to be the one and only pathway to eternal life and most have some sort of punishment for choosing the wrong religion, or dare I say, for being an atheist.
Such punishment usually takes the form of spending an eternity in a massive furnace where not a drop of water will touch your tongue. You will be constantly prodded and whipped. And you have to endure consuming hot beer, chili dogs and deviled wings. You will also be subjected to watching endless repeats of the Brady Bunch and Celine Dion will be constantly blurted through the PA.
So, really your chances of spending an eternity in a great luxury resort somewhere up there are pretty slim to say the least.
But wait, there's more......
If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be a Christian, your chances of going to the promised land are practically diddly squat. There are about 30,000 Christian denominations and, yes you guessed it, each one claims to be the one and only pathway to heaven.
So, here's my advice to all you God fearin Christians out there with one of them plastic Jesus dolls sittin on the dashboard of your car. You'd better be a totin yourselves down to your nearest lottery store and gettin a ticket in the next 100 million dollar draw.
Because your chances of winning all them lovely green backs is almost dead certain compared with where you think you're goin when you fall offa your pearch. You can sure as Hell bet on it.