Theists Can All Go To Hell

Author: Salixes ,

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  • Salixes
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    ......or at least 99.99% of them will go to hell.

    You see, there are 10,000 Gods known to be worshiped around the world, each claiming to be the one and only pathway to eternal life and most have some sort of punishment for choosing the wrong religion, or dare I say, for being an atheist.

    Such punishment usually takes the form of spending an eternity in a massive furnace where not a drop of water will touch your tongue. You will be constantly prodded and whipped. And you have to endure consuming hot beer, chili dogs and deviled wings. You will also be subjected to watching endless repeats of the Brady Bunch and Celine Dion will be constantly blurted through the PA.

    So, really your chances of spending an eternity in a great luxury resort somewhere up there are pretty slim to say the least.

    But wait, there's more......

    If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be a Christian, your chances of going to the promised land are practically diddly squat. There are about 30,000 Christian denominations and, yes you guessed it, each one claims to be the one and only pathway to heaven.

    So, here's my advice to all you God fearin Christians out there with one of them plastic Jesus dolls sittin on the dashboard of your car. You'd better be a totin yourselves down to your nearest lottery store and gettin a ticket in the next 100 million dollar draw. 
    Because your chances of winning all them lovely green backs is almost dead certain compared with where you think you're goin when you fall offa your pearch. You can sure as Hell bet on it.

  • Tradesecret
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    --> @Salixes
    .....or at least 99.99% of them will go to hell.

    You see, there are 10,000 Gods known to be worshiped around the world, each claiming to be the one and only pathway to eternal life and most have some sort of punishment for choosing the wrong religion, or dare I say, for being an atheist.

    Such punishment usually takes the form of spending an eternity in a massive furnace where not a drop of water will touch your tongue. You will be constantly prodded and whipped. And you have to endure consuming hot beer, chili dogs and deviled wings. You will also be subjected to watching endless repeats of the Brady Bunch and Celine Dion will be constantly blurted through the PA.

    So, really your chances of spending an eternity in a great luxury resort somewhere up there are pretty slim to say the least.

    But wait, there's more......

    If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be a Christian, your chances of going to the promised land are practically diddly squat. There are about 30,000 Christian denominations and, yes you guessed it, each one claims to be the one and only pathway to heaven.

    So, here's my advice to all you God fearin Christians out there with one of them plastic Jesus dolls sittin on the dashboard of your car. You'd better be a totin yourselves down to your nearest lottery store and gettin a ticket in the next 100 million dollar draw. 
    Because your chances of winning all them lovely green backs is almost dead certain compared with where you think you're goin when you fall offa your pearch. You can sure as Hell bet on it.


    Hello is there a particular reason you are well so full of error? Or so prone to just making statistics up out of the air?

    10,000 gods. There are far more than that just in the Hindu religion, let alone the pantheistic religions, such as atheism. (oooh)

    And incidentally, contrary to your assertion, most religions and most pantheistic or inclusivist religions either don't believe in Hell or punishment for believing an alternative religion or don't care about it. For most religions - 99.9% of them everyone goes to Heaven whatever that might be. Hell is reserved in those religions only for the very, very evil.

    And as for your lies about 30,000 Christian religions, where do you get you get your stats from? and pray tell (do you like that usage of phrase) - where do you get the misleading information that EACH denomination believes they are the only one way to Heaven? Of course we wont really expect an answer to these questions because your assertions are nothing short of lies that you yourself believe. 

    Most Christian denominations - 99.9% of them consider themselves part of the Christian religion and that everyone within the Christian religion - 2 or 3 Billion of whom are alive today with all the Christians in history along with many other people will go to heaven. This includes many Jews, many others from other religions, who trust in Jesus, and others whom the Lord chooses to save. 

    please go back to the study of this subject properly, quote some good and credible sources, and then perhaps we might all enjoy a discussion even if it challenging. 


  • Salixes
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    --> @Tradesecret
    And as for your lies 
    Well, you could be absolutely right there.
    I know, I know; making ad hominem attacks isn't exactly kosher but I guess you did highlight the fact that we must be on an equal footing since we both talked about heaven and God as if they really do exist. So we both lied about that didn't we?

    But, I still think that you do have the upper hand on this one. Saying that atheism being a religion is not exactly lying since it is such a blatantly stupid assertion in the first place.

    So, you win, clearly unopposed in the stupidity stakes.


  • ronjs
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    --> @Salixes
    What many fail to grasp is that it is not denominations that go to heaven, it is individuals and even though Christians are advised to fellowship with other Christians, not all in any denomination are truly saved, they all have some who don't walk the walk. There are also those who spend a lifetime serving in the church who have no clue about the actual gospel message. In that respect, yes, many who call themselves Christian will not go to heaven. As  for 99.99%, only God knows the percentage.
  • ethang5
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    where do you get you get your stats from?
    Of course, the liar "forgot" that question.
  • Dr.Franklin
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    --> @Salixes
    You see, there are 10,000 Gods known to be worshiped around the world, 
    and theres only one that have stood the test of time
    Theres only one tat owns the three major religions
    Roman,pagan, and greek gods all fell, which one is still here

    It's not that hard to figure out who won the battle of religions, the true religion won

  • Dr.Franklin
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    --> @Tradesecret
    Glad your back, HArikisrish and anon is the only one at DDO
  • OntologicalSpider
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    Seems to me someone is suffering from A.R.C.S...
  • Athias
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    --> @Dr.Franklin
    Roman,pagan, and greek gods all fell, which one is still here
    They haven't. Worship of said Gods is merely disguised namely through Catholicism, Wicca, Satanism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. The statue of Peter in the Vatican is actually the Roman God, Jupiter (a.k.a. Zeus.)

  • Dr.Franklin
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    --> @Athias
    confucscism is not a religion, it's a  philosphical idea
  • Athias
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    --> @Dr.Franklin
    confucscism is not a religion, it's a  philosphical idea
    Confuscianism is both a religion and philosophy. But that doesn't really address the point I made. And I make this point, as some what of a warning: many adherents to the aforementioned religions are being coaxed into worshiping pagan gods. I had an extended discussion about the matter in another thread, particularly on Catholicism and its pagan rituals. You need not look at my profile to discover my "religion" and "retaliate."

    By the way, my profile is a lie up to the point of absurdity.
  • Dr.Franklin
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    --> @Athias
    evidence?
  • Athias
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    --> @Dr.Franklin
    evidence?
    Be specific: of which argument do you want evidence?

  • sadolite
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    If there is a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell it gives a good indicator of the amount of people going to heaven and those going to hell.
  • Salixes
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    --> @Dr.Franklin
    It's not that hard to figure out who won the battle of religions, the true religion won
    Yep, you hit the nail on the head there.

    It just so happens to be the religion that you follow.

    I mean, what are the chances.

    1 out of 10,000, that's what.

    Geeziz, you got it absolutely right.

    Hey, and I bet it was one heck of a coincidence also that you happened to be born where that religion is prevalent.

    And, gee, let me guess; it just so happened to be the religion that your family follows.

    Huh, I'll be darned.
  • ethang5
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    --> @Dr.Franklin
    Glad your back, HArikisrish and anon is the only one at DDO
    Oh, he's still there instantly attacking any theist who dares post.

    In his heart of hearts,he knows he's soon be stuck there again.