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@seldiora
I would favor MisterChris, but it will be close. SupaDudz is a good debater. He could easily pull an upset.
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@MisterChris
Thanks!
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Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment. It is not intended to parody any specific person, nor is it intended to be an accurate representation of any political movements mentioned in it. I am entirely aware that no one actually thinks like this (I hope, anyway). I wonder whether anyone actually reads these copy-pasted disclaimers. This is completely satirical. None of the below content necessarily reflects my own opinions and beliefs.
HISTORY EXPLAINED
Episode 3, 10/18/2020: The First Crusade
A production of the DART Bard
Featuring ScumAnonymous
Well, pal, it all started in 1095 when the Byzantine emperor noticed the Seljuq Turks were steppin' on his turf. He knew that, if that kept up, he and his empire would be wearin' cement overshoes. So off he went to ask the big boss, Pope Urban II, for some help. Boss Urban was a real pal, so he went around his home turf in France to get people to help the emperor. Well, some hermit named Peter and a knight called Walter got all carried away and led a bunch of reckless fellers east. Before they got there, they fought battles in Hungary cause they were hungry. When they finally did get to the front, well, pal, that was a blood red August, and it wasn't Seljuq blood, let me tell you. But those fellers were just small fry. The real deal started when the French and Norman bosses got together with their boys. Thirty-five thousand knights joined up with the emperor and his boys and got ready to whoop some Turks. They took Nicaea first. Then the Normans ran into the Turks, who were led by Arslan - yes, pal, Arslan, not Aslan. Pay attention, there ain't no lions in this story. As I was saying, the Normans ran into the Turks, and they were in some trouble until the French got there. Back then, see, the French weren't no surrender monkeys. They whooped the Turks and marched on Antioch. It took them so long to take the city that hundreds of the crusaders starved, see. Well, that made them real mad, pal, real mad. They marched on Jerusalem, and when they took it, it was a bloody day. They meant business, and they didn't mess around. Even people who hid in mosques and synagogues were blown away. They even burned a synagogue full of people. It wasn't pretty, pal, but it kept the Seljuq Turks off their turf for years.
ScumAnonymous is a Chicago-based mafioso and sports writer.
Special Announcement:
Our old friend Mopac is back. Go say hello to him in his AMA before he leaves permanently to become a monk.
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@Mopac
I see. So why are they generally vegetarian?
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@Mopac
I haven't studied Orthodox Christianity, so I don't really know how to respond to your post. I do see the same results of rejecting God that you see, though. The world needs Christ, but it's made it very clear that it doesn't want Him.
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@Mopac
What kind of food do you get at monasteries?
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One thing that is inevitable is that Ragnar will pass Ramshutu. That will happen in five days. The number 2 debater will no longer be an inactive.
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@Crocodile
It could take a year or more for anyone to be able to close the distance. Oromagi has a huge head start, and he's building his lead, albeit slowly. He has reached the point where he only gains a few points from each win. The elo system will only allow him to get so far ahead. Even so, I don't see anyone passing him in the near future.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Eight out of ten on the first page.
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@seldiora
Because there's only a little more than 400 members on DART, some of whom are banned and many of whom are inactive. That being said, when I searched "debating sites" on DuckDuckGo, DART was number 8, so we've at least made it to the first page.
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@fauxlaw
Probably not. Since the RNC and DNC let media companies handle the debates, the media companies get to pick the moderators, and they're inevitably going to pick one of their popular figures. However, if the RNC and DNC really wanted to, they could have some debate organization host the debates instead and just have the media there to televise them. That would remove the debates from the media's control and put them in the hands of (hopefully) less biased moderators.
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@secularmerlin
Reverse argument from authority.
I think the term you're looking for is the genetic fallacy.
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@BearMan
Sometimes I like to copy MisterChris' arguments and then text them to someone random with no context.Makes em really confused
That's awesome.
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@fauxlaw
Alternately, they could get actual debate moderators instead of media figures.
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@seldiora
You're definitely improving.
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@MisterChris
Don't like the weather? No need to stay indoors! Just move the earth, and the outside temperature will change. If you buy our MoveTheEarth Pro, you can adjust the temperature of the outdoors with precision of half a degree. Buy them soon while they're on sale at half price. But wait! there's more. If you call within the next five minutes, we will throw in a Planetary Hyper Drive so you can tour the stars from the comfort of your own planet. Call now!
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@MisterChris
Well, if you were to invent an engine of sufficient power and you had enough of them, you could move the earth out of its current orbit and stop them. That would require technology more advanced than what they have in Star Wars, though.
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@Vader
When I was 11 someone threw a mango at my head and it hurt. When I threw the mango back I was the one that got in trouble? I mean I only put him in a coma for 2hrs. He could walk it off.
Well, it's not your fault he wasn't wearing a helmet. Any knight could have told him that.
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@Vader
Yes, that was the bad joke I was making. Note how the movie was called History.
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Civilization. It's such an epic game, and it could make a great movie. A bunch of people tried to make a movie called History out of it, but it was really depressing. Plus, they didn't bother finishing it and "ended" it in the current year.
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@BearMan
Congratulations to Intelligence_06 proudly fighting back against the stereotype that all Asians are smart.
Wow, that was a good roast. Roast me next!
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@ILikePie5
I'd like to, but I just don't have the time to play mafia right now.
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@3RU7AL
I agree. Even people who fit the label probably wouldn't identify themselves as such.
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@HistoryBuff
I try to avoid sites like fox news. I'm not interested in news sites that are selling outrage for clicks.
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@HistoryBuff
I've honestly don't think I've even heard about it.
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@FLRW
Actually, 32nd out of 190 or so is really good.
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@skittlez09
I debated billbatard in his second account, PaulVerlaine. According to one of the voters of the debate, he lost when he said, "I am on a mission from God."
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@ILikePie5
Pretty much. Orange man bad, Biden not orange, so vote Biden. That isn't true of everyone on the left, but it is distressingly common. I see the same problem on the right as well, though. There's a lot of Orange Man Good, too. You won't find it as frequently on a college campus, though.
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@RationalMadman
This list was worth it just for the nicknames. Well done.
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@Lemming
"Misotheism is the "hatred of God" or "hatred of the gods" (from the Greek adjective misotheos" - Wikipedia
Thank you. That would be a better description of such a person.
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@fauxlaw
No, Biden is so far removed from Trump, even Oba'a has been missing in action for Biden, even after reluctantly endorsing him. Who are this guys friends? Of convenience, only.Besides, under Trump policies, I'm doing just fine, after barely breaking even with 8 sets with Oba'a. He told me I don't build anything, which was a big surprise to my wife. "Is this a mirage," she asked?
I don't disagree. That wasn't the point I was trying to make. All I was saying was that people supported Biden in the primaries because he wasn't as radical as Bernie, and that people will vote for him in the election because he isn't Trump. I didn't say anything about whether those were good reasons to support Biden. FYI, I don't support Biden. Those are just my observations about why other people do support him.
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@fauxlaw
I don't think many people want to vote for Biden. It's just that he wasn't Bernie and now he isn't Trump.
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@MisterChris
Boooo. That joke was almost as bad as the ones I tell.
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@Mopac
This is the hardest part of the day. I can't go to sleep at 1030 and wake up before 130. It just doesn't work, I tried. I don't read at this time either. What do I do? Drink a cup of coffee, and keep vigil. I pray. I stay as far away from a bed as possible. Even then, this is still the hardest part of the day for me.
I can believe it. That sounds brutal.
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@seldiora
Ah, the never ending search for the best debater. It's subjective, and impossible to determine, but that just makes it more fun. RM and David could easily make it on that list if they put more effort into their debates. Speed is also a stellar debater. I think your list is good, though.
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@MisterChris
I listened to the two songs on your soundcloud. Not bad. I liked the synth.
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SirAnonymous: Why would I debate it when I can satirize it in a forum post?
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@RationalMadman
May I be so bold as to refer you to the lost 11th commandment of Moses?
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@MisterChris
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, if ever my thoughts do not seem clear, then thou can be sure they are in jest.
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@MisterChris
The Lost 12th Commandment of Moses
"Thou shalt not assume that SirAnonymous is being serious. If thou dost, thou shalt be wrong."
"Thou shalt not assume that SirAnonymous is being serious. If thou dost, thou shalt be wrong."
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@MisterChris
I disagree. Old age and treachery with defeat youth and skill with ease.
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