#NFL

Total: 154-101-1

Wild Card: 2-2

Titans: 17

Ravens: 30

The Titans are the Luke Skwyalker of this NFL story, leading their way to beat the Patriots in a tight nit game where the Patriots couldn't manage offensively and the defense collapsed under Derrick Henry. So much for that touted defense of yours. Anyway no one cares of Tennessee anymore as they have to face a real offense where their defensive struggles will primer against a Lamar Jackson led offense. I do not see anyway Titans win this. The Ravens have an insane defense, 3rd-5th in the league and have an MVP QB who is tough to maintain, along with a core of Marquees Brown and Mark Ingram, I'm sorry Titans, but your Cinderella story ends today. Tanehill returns to being Tanehill, and King Henry will not be enough to defeat the one seed 

Texans: 26

Chiefs: 33

Talent can't bail you out again Bill O'Brien. Just because Deshaun Watson can pull a goddamn Matrix outta his ass does not mean you will win this game. Mahomes can consistently torch this overrated defense that has severe holes in it overall. While last time it seemed to be the opposite, it does mean that things will change. Reid will find ways to torch this team and on paper, each team looks equally matched besides coaching, and that will have the biggest effect, along with QB. Your time will wait Watson, Mahomes has the spotlight right now

NFC

Vikings: 18

49ers: 30

Funny funny that Saints can't win in the playoffs. Funny funny that Cousins finally wins a playoff game. Can we just watch Kirk Cousins get the absolute shit kicked outta him now in enemy territory. If he wins, the NFL may be the craziest we have seen

Seahawks: 34
Packers: 21

Hmmm who do I pick? The team that has shown themselves to be a legit threat this year and have won primetime games when need be, have an MVP candidate on their team, and insane defense, and is well coached, or do I pick the team that got into the bye week bye sheer luck and have had inconsistency issues along with not being able to close out games, injury plague, less than elite defense, and an OK coach that hasn't proven himself? You know who I pick. Do I also mention that the other team is a demi-god on the road? You know who I pick. This is an utter nightmare for the Packers and a season that was merely a fluke due to easy divisional play and a sub par schedule, where the only teams they played legit they won had a hurt starter. 

Regular Season: 152-99-1

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Bills: 23

Texans: 27

Oh bills fans. You finally make the playoffs after all these disappointing season, yet you still belong in a rightful 5 seed, due to the Patriots constantly making you their bitches this season. While I have to say you had some key wins that gave mild validity to your name, like the Cowboys, Titans, and a close match with the Ravens, there are some glaring losses on paper, the fucking Browns. I would like to cheer for this team but they are going into Houston in good weather, against one of the best offenses in the league. This reminds of a certain game in 2019 where we predicted the defense would prevail against the offense, but instead, we heard the double doinking sound. Sorry Bills fans, but with an inconsistent quaterback and offensive issues, I think Texans take this game.

Titans: 14

Patriots: 27

There is NOTHING SPECIAL about the Tennessee Titans on paper. Ryan Tannehill is not a real QB. The AFC is one of the weakest divisions in the league right now from a depth standard. It is a fucking miracle you got here due to sheer luck. However, let me say this again, you had a nice stroke of luck. The Titans have not faced a team with a legit defense in a while, and this is where it happens. The NE Patriots may have one of the worse offenses in the league, but their defense is killer when it needs be. Titans will get suffocated offensively, leading Tom Brady to drive down the field. 

Vikings: 20

Saints: 30

The Minnesota Vikings are a fluke team in the playoffs yet again. This will be Kirk Cousins first playoff game in his career, and looking at his primetime record, uhhh what's that. ZERO FUCKING WINS. Oh and his record versus teams with above .500 records, 4-27. Kirk Cousins, this is enough. You are going into NOLA in one of the most competitive environments to date and you expect to win. Drew Brees will torch the hell out of that defense in these scenarios. Dalvin Cook may not even be ACTIVE for the game. If you don't have him to bail your team out, then it is gonna be a bloodbath

Seahawks: 34

Eagles: 7

The battle of the birds commences. And, it's gone... Let's face it, we knew from the gecko who was winning this game right. The NFC East was a dumpster fire that LSU could probably win against. Atrocious in every regard. Seahawks were consistently dominate this season, and I see the same happening here. Lynch proved he still has it within him to go far

Ravens: 37

Texans: 21

It's not that I don't like the Texans, but I think their inconsistency is glaring at me on paper. Good wins, good loses, bad loses. They to me have an inconsistency factor where I can't see them going far. I am not a true Ravens fan overall, but the Texans have glaring holes in their team. Their defense is sometimes a hazard for their ridiculous offense. The Ravens are the most wholy complete team right now. They have a lot going for them, with mass defensive upgrades like Earl Thomas and Marcus Peters, a young offense led by Lamar Jackson and Marquees Brown, and a good O-Line, this team is so good because they are consistent. I like the Ravens

Chiefs: 27

Patriots: 21

Rejoice children! The First Order, the Galactic Empire, the Sith, the entire fucking Darth Side has shown their weakness. The offense. Julian Edelman is the bright side in this atrocious offense this season. Letting Josh Gordon go was horrible for the team. AB was your only sliver of hope, but he spread his toxic fumes to the people of NE, and now you are stick with a wild card. Inconsistent with a weak schedule, the only legit team you beat was the Bills. You lost to the Chiefs, Ravens, Dolphins, and the Texans. Sing your sad song NE, your time is over. Long Live Skywalker! Worst of all, all of these loses were....primetime. Yikes. It is a recipe for failure

Seahawks: 27

49ers: 24

This is one of the hardest games for me decide this entire post season. These teams are so equally matched and have split the job with each other, I don't know who to pick. You have the young team with an outstanding defense with an offense that gets the job done with good coaching with home field advantage, or you have a well rounded team with one of the best coaches and an MVP caliber QB with a decent offense. Then to me, it comes down to playoff experience when teams are this evenly matched. Sorry San Fran, your time will have to wait. The Seahawks have the experience, the moxy, and the cast of people to make it happen, they did on your home field, they will do it again

Saints: 30

Packers: 21

Oh Green Bay, so nice to see you in the playoffs. But you fucking suck. With strokes of luck, you earned yourself a first round bye. Your awful schedule couldn't even make up for some of the worse losses this year. Wow, you beat a Patrick Mahomes-less Cheifs by 7. Tell me how you are Super Bowl Contenders. Wow, the Eagles beat your great defense 34-27. Your inability to close out games. Collapsing when a team overpowers you on one side of the ball. The Saints are going into this year with vengeance and they will not let you get into the way. My god the Bears nearly led a miracle comeback. This team has trouble finishing out games, and has deadly losses this season proving their ineptitude. LaFluer is not a good coach, he is pathetic. He can't run an offense, and the defense is overhyped. Green Bay, even if you did win, it wouldn't matter.

Chiefs: 35

Ravens: 34

My mom always told me to trust my gut no matter what and to be honest, Patrick Mahomes is the better quarterback. BUT THE MADDEN CURSE IS REAL, IT IS A LEGIT THING. Just not for this game. I still think the Chiefs have an advantage. A veteran coach, a god tier QB, amazing offense, with a defense that is, better than usual. I still think this is a winning team in Boston, but it comes down to who I trust more. I don't trust Lamar going into this game at all. He has shown weaknesses with the team in these scenarios and has lost to this team before in Baltimore. With all the pressure on, he seems to have some things I don't like. Mahomes should have beat Brady last year, but sadly, the gods strike again with bad penalties

Seahawks: 33

Saints: 24

Sorry Saints, the time to wait is over. The Rams beat this team in this environment with a worse QB and I suspect the same to happen here. The Saints have weaknesses defensively and have been borderline inconsistent. I see 2 elite QB's, but one is more mobile ad flexible to a defense versus the other. The other is great, but the defense is crazy and I just don't think I can trust that team. The Seahawks are the better team in this game, and I think they come out on top

Seahawks: 30
Chiefs: 23

It comes down to young versus vet in this game. One QB has a monster arm, the other is a mobile QB that can scramble out of the pocket and make plays. The Seahawks have been to the big game and have the veteran leadership to take down the Chiefs, and the Chiefs have a young QB that can fold under pressure. The Seahawks have the better team and have the stats to prove it. They beat the Chiefs in primetime and they will go it again. Patrick Mahomes primetime record last year, 1-4, teams .500+, 0-4. This season has changed, but their defense is still weak, and it will be in due time before they fold

Congrats Seahawks, you did something, another great season. It was a struggle for 100% of it, but it was good