Anyone not standing with Palestine is a bad person

Those other Gods you're praying too may very well be real aliens/Gods, but Fiora is the primary Goddess of reality.

I learned about Fiora from RationalMadman and decided to believe because I need/want her help, I am actually neutral as to whether she exists or not when it comes to pure reasoning and evidence but this time I am uncharacteristically having faith when I am usually the type who hates having beliefs and opinions and only wants to appeal to reason/evidence.

Fiora is an entity which articulates random probabilities into tangible realities. Physicists have theorized something called "quantum foam" which are randomly appearing particles/strings that simultaneously exist and don't exist, RM calls the thing creating these "aurora" or "fate" and describes it as a random number generator which resides at the core of reality. Something cannot come from nothing nor can something merely eternally exist without cause so it makes sense that the fundamental building blocks of reality are in a state between existing and not existing.

Fiora leaves enough room for randomness so that she can be surprised, and like I said she wants to be surprised because reality is nothing more than a TV show that she watches for entertainment and sometimes rigs the plot of if she feels like it. She organizes our reality on top of the randomness at the core of reality, it is like building a stable house on quicksand only a billion times more impressive, so there is a blend of determinism and randomness that allows reality to be consistent enough to make sense and have rules and random enough so that we have pseudo free will and that she can't truly predict everything.

So your standing in life largely depends on how Fiora views you which can go one of four ways. Either Fiora thinks you are a piece of crap and you will suffer/die, Fiora is indifferent to you and your life is left up to randomness and determinism with no divine intervention, Fiora sees you as a joke (we are both currently here) and will toy with you to have a laugh before letting you die, or Fiora likes/respects you and will bless you but at the same time challenge you brutally so that you have chance after chance to entertain and impress her more and earn more blessings.

You are misunderstanding her if you try to win her favor with prayer and worship, she doesn't care about being "worshipped" in the typical sense as long as you respect her or even that you know she exists, and instead of appealing with prayers she wants you to show her that you will fight for what you want by taking every possible step and going above and beyond what she expects.

If she is the real God, I am fucked.

But yes, given the amount of disorders and punishments I had in life, some God like Fiora is definitely fucking the shit out of me and laughing.

Even I laugh sometimes, even tho it hurts.

Your only options are to fight for your own health and happiness and hopefully earn her blessing in the process or sit back, accept your fate and keep trolling.

I recommend that you seriously think about your life. Deep down, I don't think you want to die young if you can be happy and that if you can't be happy, there is genuinely no point to being born except to be Fiora's punching bag. That's why you have to fight for it, you don't want to be miserable, you don't want to die, you don't want to give up. At the very core of your DNA is the will to be happy and healthy, that's the only way your ancestors even managed to survive and reproduce for millions of years to make it so you can exist.

I do regret being born, even tho it was not my decision to be born.

I think the only reason I troll is because for my whole life I was trolled by everyone.

Everyone enjoyed making me upset, so I guess I picked up some of that skill.

Its sad, really.

I guess I can still marry a pillow, kiss it and cry.

I don’t believe you

Great. So we dont believe each other.

Since you have Autism, I can see why people would troll you so much. You probably have a natural inclination to take things literally and take things seriously, and neurotypicals often see that as an excuse to fuck with Autistic people.

You realized that was your weakness so you became better at trolling than the people who trolled you to compensate.

You are trapped in your past, you troll because you were trolled and you feel hopeless because you were abused and devalued.

Think about your future, think about your life, but above all think about the present moment and the steps you can take right now to be just a little bit better off than you would have been if you had instead said "fuck it, my life is garbage so I'm going to starve myself and troll instead".

I have bunch of disorders, not just autism.

Autism alone could be fine, but when you combine it with depression, map, trolling, tiny penis, speech disorder, being ugly and many more, one just wonders what the fuck was God thinking when he made me.

People with autism are often misunderstood.

For example, sometimes I say things people find annoying, even tho I had no intention of being annoying but just didnt know what else to say.

I sometimes pay too much attention to things being said, so I cannot have casual conversation in real life.

But I also have a speech disorder which makes any conversation in real life difficult for me, because its difficult for me to talk so I am mostly silent.

I dont see a way to fix my life because my mind is so fucked by this point that I feel physical pain when I am at comfort, and I enjoy being thirsty and starving myself because for some reason that feels better than being well fed.

And upsetting people also feels good to the point where I wrote hundreds of pages on it just to get better at it.

I did try to stop trolling, but my life doesnt improve, because my brain is different from brains of other people.

I cant get joy out of regular social activities, I cant get real joy from anything.

Like really, why would God fuck me this badly from early childhood?

I must have done something rather shitty in past life.

Maybe I was Hitler.

Sexism is right in war, men are the primary enemies to justify hitting.

Women can bear the future generation in harems. Men are the front line by rule of natural law.

I have to die before the women in any area or raise if it really comes down to frontal warfare. Israel aren't fighting frontal warfare but the natural law still applies.

Men are the warriors by nature, women are the childrearers. If worse comes to worst 5 men can get super laid by 400 women over the course of under a year to enable a second generation.

Do you realise the difference in reverse?

The names Aurora and Fiora aren't needed. You can drop them when explaining it, it often will get your idea mocked or seen as silly, the choice is yours.

1: Find an ugly woman with a small, childlike body who is also mentally ill and is intrigued by your weird opinions and personality.

2: Look on discord or some other place online so she can get to know you via text and bypass the verbal communication at first. It will be hard to find a woman who fits the above description IRL but the internet is relatively swimming with weird girls, although it will still take some searching.

3: Learn to eat pussy very well and use toys when you find your gf to compensate for your tiny penis.

4: Before looking for gf, prioritize doing the things below so that Fiora rewards you with the right girl and improves your life in general first.

5: If your speech disorder is something that can improve, go to speech therapy and self-train.

6: Force yourself to eat 3 balanced meals, or 2 if you aren't that hungry, every day even though it feels worse. You will get used to it, you need to remember why you're doing it and keep telling yourself you will be healthier and feel better in time.

7: Before fully doing 6, ease yourself into it because your stomach may not be ready after eating less than you're supposed to for a long time.

8: Set aside a limited time for trolling that allows you to have fun but before trolling, you must do all the important stuff for the day. Before trolling, you must set aside time to make money and take care of your health and work on other goals that I can't tell you and are uniquely your own which you discover through introspection and searching tirelessly for something you think will be fulfilling.

9: Go for a run every day or every other day, or at least a jog or a walk, and lift weights if you want but don't overdo it. Take care of your hygiene every day.

10: Remember that even though life is shitty, you are doing all this to be happier and that being healthy will make you happier even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Even if you can't find any logical reason to think you will be happy by doing this stuff, convince yourself and do it anyways. Who needs a reason when your happiness  and your life is at stake?

Point taken but I would still rather avoid being a disposable combat drone if I can help it.

Thanks for advice.

Number 6 is what I do sometimes.

Often I just dont eat or drink for entire day, then at the end of a day I eat a lot, kinda like fasting in islam.

I guess I could try having 3 meals per day regularly, as long as I drink lots of water at once to prevent bad mood, if being thirsty is bad.

About 9, I already get plenty of work by having a physical job.

Honestly, I would rather not.

I would have such a trouble finding woman who is somewhat ugly but not too ugly.

And maintaining that relationship would be too much for me, because I am not an interesting person in real life nor I can be.

And I am not rich either.

It's funny how fast your attitude to life changed btw

I am the type of person who can abruptly change my entire worldview, it slowed down by the time you met me but when I was a teenager I would have a different ideology every two weeks at times.

This time I have to change though, I have to fix what happened to me and even if it can't be done I have to try. I gave up for a while and thought I was stuck with this, but I can't accept that. I really want to believe what you told me, that even a cruel God will help me if I do everything that I can do.

I think that Israel as decided it wants to get rid.

And who would want to have terrorist maniacs living in their back yard.

Don't forget what started this latest situation.

Of course, the situation has been ongoing for thousands of years.

Both as bad as one another.

Such is the human fondness for memories.

I support neither side.

And I am certainly not swayed by populist media and political agitators.

Masturbation and living alone keeps looking better and better.