Hardest times of your life

What was that one time everything was shit?

What the fuck helped you not kill yourself.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm guessing that this twaddle is aimed at the 13 to 16 hormonally challenged age group.

No offence.

Just an observation.

Nighty Night.

Have fun.

I did try killing myself many times. But it is much more difficult than it sounds. The pain and fear is main issue there. But over time, things got better and my suicidal thoughts stopped. So I guess the main idea is that things do get better. It might take years or decades, but things do change eventually. Or your mind changes so you are no longer bothered by what bothers you now. I was probably at the point where most people would commit suicide, but Gods didnt ever want me to die. As a kid, I survived drowning, nearly got killed by car twice as well. There is just something about me which makes me literally unkillable. Gods protect me a lot for some reason.

Prayer reduces suicidal thoughts greatly.

Are you still praying to the Trinity and at other times to St. Mary?

God.

But there is a deep secret I must admit.

There was a time when Satan helped me. I went from dead inside and 0 hope to happy and living for the next thrill.

This ended up ruining my life and is the number one reason I am behind financially and in certain factors.

However, I feel God was with me too even then. Somehow I got this tug to be antihero instead of villain. Thank God.

If I had rushed things idk where I'd be. Sure Id have more progress probably, more kids by now idk. However, I think my gf (I probably would have not married) would resent me. I think Id be a much worse dad. I had to be mended this way, it just had to be that way.

If you want help, I tell you the Catholic Church will help. All in due time.

I only pray proper Rosary, for Catholic. I know which days to pray which because there are Rosary videos with proper days mentioned in their title on YouTube. Useful stuff, sure.

I just know that I am not the same person I was years ago so I thought that killing myself was fucking over the next guy and it wasn't fair to him so I just moved forward. 

@LucyStarfire

Rosary isnt even obligatory, it just is the case that if you refuse to read Bible and are debatibng against the faith, it is defi itely good you do daily Rosary then. The mysteries make you read Bivle if yoy didn't notice, what they due is mix different verses on the same event sequences together, from different Bible books and chapters within the .

I know, but I like it more than just doing "Our Father" thing.

Our Father is part of Rosary and is the holiest prayer of our entire religion.

Yeah, so Rosary offers more.

More than what?

You can pray many ways, you can even talk directly to Holy Spirit, Jesus and Father

I dont care.

As I thought.

Twaddle.

What do you mean i dont care!??!?

I was responding to Adaptable. I care about you, sure.

Music saved me too, one of the main reasons I am certain Islam is false is it insists mood-altering music is always of the devil.

Stress is caused by failing to meet goals.

You can temporarily retreat from large scale goals by focusing on tiny inevitable ones.

Today I'm going to brew some good tea and enjoy it.

I'm going to disinfect the bathroom.

That kind of thing.

It's like micro-dosed Buddhism which in a nutshell is: Train yourself to want only what is already in your grasp and only in the moment. Just make sure to come out of it when your serotonin recovers or the situation improves. Otherwise you'll be stuck there and you don't actually remember your past lives and transcend death and life.

So dont have goals.

Pretty much

Or stay.

Lucy do not commit suicide. This is not an okay idea.

We must immediately handle this.

Reading issues?

I have reported it to Barney and David.

I have had a pretty easy life materially, loving family, friends etc but I’ve still struggled with depression, if you could call it that. Or more like just not really enjoying life or wanting to be alive. Although my life was never truly bad in any way by any reasonable definition my emotions were imbalanced to the point that the negative ones outweighed the positive ones quite a bit. A major accomplishment like landing a new and better job or something would give me the happiness equivalent of how negative something like a bad interaction with someone. I would’ve never killed myself but for most of life if there was a button I could press to make it so I wouldn’t exist I would’ve pressed it without hesitation. 

I would have never killed myself because of what it would do to the people who cared about me. Even people you don’t think of. There was a girl from high school I had a few classes with. We were friendly, had each other’s numbers but were never close and other than a few times didn’t speak after high school. Senior year of college she jumped off a building and killed herself. A decade later I still think about her at least once a week and it moves me to tears. 

Committing suicide is like place a lifelong curse on everyone who’s ever cared about you. It’s hard to talk about because it comes from a place of great suffering but it’s also the cruelest, most selfish, most disgusting, and most cowardly act a person can ever commit. 

Autism.

Your conduct towards others is a good example of Catholic values btw.

I just wish you were less severely on the Trump fanboy train.

Of all the DARTers and DDOers I ever came across you were probably one of the only popular one that genuinely treated me with dignity.

Thanks but I don’t agree. I definitely bullied people unnecessarily. I would agree that I was a moderating influence on some others and that there were definitely limits I had but if I could go back I wouldn’t do it again