Given the absurdity of expressing the Uncreated through the medium of creation, it should be apparent why it is we use these images to relate the divine revelation to people.
I know what it is I am speaking of with experiential knowledge. It would be beyond your own epistemological limits to say, "I don't know, I don't know how I could know, nobody can know."
You can't say whether or not God is any of these things. You don't truly know. You were educated in such a way as to negate what we teach. Not because they are true negations, but because they are redefinings and newspeaks very specifically intended to divorce thought from Christianity.
This happens to be the inevitable outcome of protestant scholasticism. Scholasticism itself being an error of the Latin church. Without the authority of that Latin Church to regulate this error that it embraced, anti-Christ philosophy is the inevitable outcome.
This is, after all what happens when people overly rely on outward reasonings rather than purifying the intellect. With that, it is easy to reason away the most enlightened of doctrines and the truest sayings of our fathers. It is true you can rationalize just about anything.