Environmental Wacko Super Bowl Prediction

Author: SirAnonymous ,

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  • SirAnonymous
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    SirAnonymous
    Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment. It is not intended to parody any specific person, nor is it intended to be an accurate representation of the environmental movement. I am entirely aware that no one actually thinks like this (I hope, anyway). This is completely satirical. I do not believe any of this, nor does any of this reflect my viewpoints in any way.

    Record: 28-34
    Last time: 1-3

    Firstly, I must apologize for my failure to predict the conference championships. What can I say to excuse my negligence? How shall I excuse my reckless disregard for the environment? I cannot. I can only seek to do better. That must be the motto of all of us. Secondly, since this is the Super Bowl, the football championship to end all football championships, the greatest sports event of the year, I must be especially careful to get this one right. This is my last chance to make up for my failures. If I can get this one right, then I will know that there is hope left.

    Chiefs vs. 49ers
    This truly is a despicable choice. The epitome of cultural appropriation, racism, white supremacy, political incorrectness, colonialism, and who-knows-what-all against greedy capitalist white men who colonized the West, massacred Native Americans, committed crimes, swindled, and used guns(!!!). It is a plain reflection of our failures to protect the earth that has let us fall this low. If this is the best our culture can offer, then it is no wonder Trump is president. However, for the sake of Mother Earth, we must get this right. Both the 49ers and the people who came up with the chiefs mascot used guns. Both were white. Both were racist. One committed genocide, and the other celebrates it in the KKK meetings - excuse me, RepubliKLAN meetings. Both were capitalists. The 49ers do have one distinct advantage: the higher-ups who picked the Chiefs mascot were 1%ers. Most of the miners were not. This is a huge advantage. On the other hand, those 1%ers were not involved in the rape of the natural world known as mining. This is also a huge advantage. Back to the first hand, more 49ers had guns that the 1%ers. Sure, those guys who culturally appropriated chiefs have security guards with guns, but we always ignore that fact because they do all the proper virtue signalling whenever there's a mass shooting. However, the 49ers did not control politics with their wealth, because most of them didn't have any. The "Chiefs" probably did (because that's what rich guys do, bruh!). But in the end, the final point is clear: many of the Chiefs players kneeled during the National Anthem to protest racism. While it is incredibly obvious that these millionaire athletes are the most privileged people on the planet who have as much room to talk about oppression as Harvey Weinstein does to talk about women's rights, we always overlook such things so long as the celebrities agree with progressive policies. At the very least, these guys protested racism by causing a great stench in the NFL and making it lose large numbers of viewers, thereby sabotaging there own business and influencing people against their protests. The 49ers, however, did not pander to us with such blatantly obvious shallow virtue signalling. The Chiefs will go home with the win. The 49ers will go home to Europe after being expelled by indigenous people.
    Chiefs: 28. 49ers: 27.

  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    But what about the 69ers?
  • SirAnonymous
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    Dude, that was when, like, the moon landing happened. We don't, like, celebrate American accomplishments here. What do you think I am? A nationalist? No way, dude!
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    Oh my secular-conception-of-a-mother-nature I was obviously referring to 1869 because

    January 20 – Elizabeth Cady Stanton is the first woman to [blah blah blah something very important I am sure]

    Which is totally not just a copy paste of the first thing that caught my eye from this link...


  • SirAnonymous
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    Do you know what else happened that year? A white, Republican male got inaugurated! How can you celebrate the progress of women's rights when the patriarchy is still in power? You're not outraged enough. Get woke!
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    Lmao I am too sober for this shit. I concede defeat.
  • ethang5
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    --> @SirAnonymous
    [blah blah blah something very important I am sure]

    Lol!

    You're inspiring others to funniness.

    Is that a word?
  • SirAnonymous
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit @ethang5
    Thanks, but you should probably tag Disc if you find him funny as well. 

    And yes, funniness is a word.

  • ethang5
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    --> @SirAnonymous
    Its him I was referring to as being inspired. I didn't know he had a sense of humor.

    He kept it hidden from me.

    Know what I'd love to see you write? A conversation between a right wing ultra conservative nut job, and an ultra left liberal progressive snowflake.

    Just thinking about your take on it makes me want to laugh.
  • SirAnonymous
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    --> @ethang5
    Know what I'd love to see you write? A conversation between a right wing ultra conservative nut job, and an ultra left liberal progressive snowflake.
    I already know how I'm going to do that. Stay tuned!

  • ethang5
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    --> @SirAnonymous
    Yay!
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @ethang5
    P1: It is reasonable to expect that anyone possessing a sense of humor would make it obvious in their posts in some way on this debate site.

    P2: Any such posts would be noticed by me, Ethang5.

    C1: Given P1 and P2 it is reasonable to expect that I, Ethang5, would notice any users possessing a sense of humor.

    P3: I have not noticed any posts by DD indicating possession of a sense of humor prior to this thread.

    Conclusion: Given C1 and P3 it is/was reasonable for me to conclude that DD possessed no sense of humor prior to this thread.

    The argument is internally consistent but I would take issue with both premise one and two.
  • ethang5
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    The argument is internally consistent but I would take issue with both premise one and two.
    I would too. Neither one is my premise.

    Calm down DD. I meant it as a compliment. You do have a sense of humor, I just didn't know it.
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @ethang5
    Premise one: DD is not calm.

    Premise two: DD should be calm.

    Premise three: Telling a non-calm person to calm down is generally an effective way of calming them down.

    Conclusion: Tell DD to calm down.

    I can see where you are coming from with premise one and two but I would disagree with both. Premise three is pretty absurd in my experience.

    <br>
  • ethang5
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    I can see where you are coming from with premise one and two...
    No you can't DD. I didn't "come" with either premise.

    ...but I would disagree with both.
    Disagreeing with your own premises is comedy gold.

    Premise three is pretty absurd in my experience.
    But do you agree or disagree with it? Wait. What do I care whether you agree with your own premise?

    Lol
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @ethang5
    But do you agree or disagree with it?

    I disagree with it. Sorry for not clarifying before.
  • ethang5
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    I disagree with it. Sorry for not clarifying before.
    Of course you do. After all, it is your premise.
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @ethang5
    Which if any of the proposals in the second conclusion do you agree with and if there are any you do not then how did you reach the conclusion?

  • ethang5
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    --> @Discipulus_Didicit
    Which if any of the proposals in the second conclusion do you agree with..
    You mean premises right?

    and if there are any you do not then how did you reach the conclusion?
    Oh, now it's my turn to say sorry for not clarifying before!

    I just assumed you'd know that If the premises were not mine, then the conclusion from those premises wouldn't be either.
  • Discipulus_Didicit
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    --> @ethang5
    Conclusion: Tell DD to calm down.

    Ethang5 says: Calm down DD

    Ethang5 says: That conclusion is not mine

    Allow me to quote a proverb from a wise philosopher that fits this situation nicely:

    One of these things is not like the others,
    One of these things just doesn't belong,
    Can you tell which thing is not like the others
    By the time I finish my song?