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#Super Bowl

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The Super Bowl is now upon us as we dawn on a great match up where the best defense vs the most explosive offense collide with each other. On Feb 3, Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid will take on Jimmy G and the 49ers defense in Miami to hoist the most precious trophy in Sports History, the Lombardi Trophy in Miami's new stadium, Hard Rock Stadium, where Shakira and j-Lo will perform the half time show.

Taking a deep dive into the game we look at each team and how they have played into the season

The 49ers went 14-2, with 2 loses to the Ravens and the Seahawks. These teams were the most challenging to this team. They have played ALL playoff teams besides the Eagles and have beaten them. They beat the Saints, Packers, Seahawks, and Vikings. The only team left out being the Eagles. They have proven themselves to be a defensive thread with a hard run game with a reliable receiving core led by George Kittle and Emmanuel Sanders, with Deebo being a rising star. The defense speaks for itself for the level of dominance they bring to the table overall. Stopping some of the best offenses this season. 

This is a team with a well rounded core and a strong coaching staff, a good looking candidate


The Chiefs have a defense that seems lackluster and disappointing on paper, and had a less than ideal season. But they have one player that changes the course of the game

Patrick. Mahomes.

Not only is Patrick Mahomes a great QB, but he will soon be the Greatest and Best QB of all time, with the clutch of Brady and Manning with the arm of Favre, while being mobile as well for a big frame, a resemblance of Cam Newton, Patrick Mahomes can change the momentum of the game and win you games.

I have a list of impressive accolades for him, but let's dive in.

In His First Year as a Starter
5,000 Passing Yars
50 TD's
An AFC Championship Bout where they could have potentially won
League MVP
12-4 Record

As an injured QB missing 3 games, he still has an impressive 26 TD's on season, while hurt. This man is crazy. He took the Chiefs to from a 6-5 record to a 11-5 record going on a tear late season, and the rest, haha.

Mahomes this post season alone is flawless, throwing for 11 TD's with 1000 yards and a 61% completion, with this year being 66%. Did I mention he has done this in the playoffs.

Came back when down 24-0 in the 1st quarter, scored 41 unanswered points and beating the Texans 51-31 with 4 TD passes and 1 TD run. The second game, 3 TD passes and 1 rushing TD. The man is a god and with the offense they have, he torches defenses. He took out a great NE defense, a solid TEN defense which stopped the MVP Lamar Jackson from going to a Championship bout, and various other teams. This offense is explosive and fiery.

I looked at every team and given my beliefs. For the Chiefs, I feel we are prisoners of the moment and that a dominant defense in it's prime can stop Mahomes. With the Niners, we look at Jimmy G as a weak link with questions if he can perform throwing the ball. I lean to prisoners of a Patrick Mahomes moment. I still think he is a young and inexperienced overall and thinks he has time to grow if he hasn't already. I think Jimmy is more ready than Patty because he was there with Brady in the SB and has the composure. I think the 49ers have a good offense and the Chiefs have defensive struggles. I think their offense gets the job done in here.

While I believe the Chiefs appear to be the more talented team, I will not be a prisoner of the moment. I think the 49ers win this game

49ers: 30
Chiefs: 27

I could see this going to OT and being one of the greatest matchups in the history

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Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment. It is not intended to parody any specific person, nor is it intended to be an accurate representation of the environmental movement. I am entirely aware that no one actually thinks like this (I hope, anyway). This is completely satirical. I do not believe any of this, nor does any of this reflect my viewpoints in any way.

Record: 28-34
Last time: 1-3

Firstly, I must apologize for my failure to predict the conference championships. What can I say to excuse my negligence? How shall I excuse my reckless disregard for the environment? I cannot. I can only seek to do better. That must be the motto of all of us. Secondly, since this is the Super Bowl, the football championship to end all football championships, the greatest sports event of the year, I must be especially careful to get this one right. This is my last chance to make up for my failures. If I can get this one right, then I will know that there is hope left.

Chiefs vs. 49ers
This truly is a despicable choice. The epitome of cultural appropriation, racism, white supremacy, political incorrectness, colonialism, and who-knows-what-all against greedy capitalist white men who colonized the West, massacred Native Americans, committed crimes, swindled, and used guns(!!!). It is a plain reflection of our failures to protect the earth that has let us fall this low. If this is the best our culture can offer, then it is no wonder Trump is president. However, for the sake of Mother Earth, we must get this right. Both the 49ers and the people who came up with the chiefs mascot used guns. Both were white. Both were racist. One committed genocide, and the other celebrates it in the KKK meetings - excuse me, RepubliKLAN meetings. Both were capitalists. The 49ers do have one distinct advantage: the higher-ups who picked the Chiefs mascot were 1%ers. Most of the miners were not. This is a huge advantage. On the other hand, those 1%ers were not involved in the rape of the natural world known as mining. This is also a huge advantage. Back to the first hand, more 49ers had guns that the 1%ers. Sure, those guys who culturally appropriated chiefs have security guards with guns, but we always ignore that fact because they do all the proper virtue signalling whenever there's a mass shooting. However, the 49ers did not control politics with their wealth, because most of them didn't have any. The "Chiefs" probably did (because that's what rich guys do, bruh!). But in the end, the final point is clear: many of the Chiefs players kneeled during the National Anthem to protest racism. While it is incredibly obvious that these millionaire athletes are the most privileged people on the planet who have as much room to talk about oppression as Harvey Weinstein does to talk about women's rights, we always overlook such things so long as the celebrities agree with progressive policies. At the very least, these guys protested racism by causing a great stench in the NFL and making it lose large numbers of viewers, thereby sabotaging there own business and influencing people against their protests. The 49ers, however, did not pander to us with such blatantly obvious shallow virtue signalling. The Chiefs will go home with the win. The 49ers will go home to Europe after being expelled by indigenous people.
Chiefs: 28. 49ers: 27.

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