It would suck if a god from a different group come down and did their " second coming " dance before your god did.
Like the 2nd second cumer.
when will jesus return?
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I don't reckon jesus is doing it today.
Well it doesn't feel like he is going to do it today.
This weekend perhaps?
It is going to be real real soon now but.
HOLD.
WAIT FOR IT.
ANY SECOND NOW.
STAND.
REAL SOON NOW.
BRACE YOURSELF.
WAIT FOR IT.
ITS COMING
Im going to have some lunch.
He better not do this return thing whilst im having my supper
I haven't time for him.
I am just not going to pay any attention to it.
i believe in jesus 100% anyways. So i really have nothing to worry about .
Plus i am already guaranteed a place in heaven as i have said that phrase you have to say to go to heaven , like a dozen times.
I except the lord jesus christ as my saviour.
Ecceptence Confirmed. ( see, im all good. )
The dog over the back of my house keeps barking like ive never heard befor.
Im going to go check.
It couldn't be could it ?
Its not jesus.
FALSE ALARM GUYS. The dog is barking at a tow truck.
Sorry.
We need A ( On the hour radar report from around your area. )
We need to know the very instance and the exact location as jesus touches down.
When he does get here.
Will He be traveling from town to town doing the turning people to ash on the back of a donkey ?
KEEP US ALL UP TO DATE.
The skys are all clear hear. No jesus in sight..
I repeat. NO JESUS DETECTED .
Over.
I am not to sure how jesus will react when he sees all the crosses with him looking half dead on it.
Since the time is ni. Perhaps you can change them to like a healthy happier looking jesus sitting on a throne or something.
Don't say, ' i didnt warn you .
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@Deb-8-a-bull
Roger that Deb.
All clear in the U.K. too.
Though:
One assumes that the Bethlehem sector will be point of first contact.
Any news Israel?
I think that he's on his way.
Noooo.....Just another missile from Gaza.
Oy Vey.
Over.
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@BigPimpDaddy
We wont know the day or hour.
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@zedvictor4
Administration of the Kingdom of Heaven.Sounds like the same old shit to me.Always someone that thinks they know better than you.Do they have clipboards and point a lot.And are there lots of forms to fill in.
Yep, yep, yep & yep and hi viz bibs and jackets too. It were halo's at one time but it started going to their heads.
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@janesix
We won't know...
Don't be so quick to join the side for whom he comes as a thief in the night. That's the kind of people who are not prepared, or simply not expecting the.event at all.
One need not know the month, the day, or the hour. We should be as the virgins who have prepared their lamps with oil, ready to attend the wedding feast; ready to attend the Lord at his coming. For those who are prepared, his coming is as though in the noon-day sun; a day of brilliance, and thanksgiving, and joy for living, basking in the glory of such an event. That's the team to join.
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@949havoc
Do you think that HE will be keen to visit the U.S?
There's no suggestion that HE ever did previously.
HE was very much a Middle Eastern type guy.
Probably will feel more at home with swarthy hirsute xenophobic types.
Rather than with light skinned xenophobic types.
HE might actually prefer the Islamic thing.
Rather than the plaid shirts, baseball caps and cheap beer thing.
Just saying.
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@zedvictor4
Do you think that HE will be keen to visit the U.S?There's no suggestion that HE ever did previously.
Actually, there is.
"And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." John 10: 16 Actually, the discussion begins from 14th verse.
The Book of Mormon contains description of Christ visiting the Western Hemisphere after his resurrection [North or South not known], who were remnant of the tribe of Joseph - specifically his son, Menassah - and within that record, notice of his intent to visit still others - the rest of the lost tribes of Israel.
By the way, modern genetic studies do not tie the indigenes of the Americas with Jews, because they're following mitochondrial DNA, which passes through generations only through women to children without any significant change, as regular DNA changes by individual generation to generation, and Jews are all issue through Leah, Jacob's first wife [when he was expecting to marry Rachel, first, but was fooled by their father, and Joseph is through Rachel, so, different mothers, and we don't have modern women DNA traceability to Rachel to compare as we do to Leah.
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@949havoc
For sure....One doesn't doubt those sort of tales exist.
Not forgetting who "discovered" modern America.
And how various Middle Eastern data, modified and spread East and West.
And indigenes...I suppose you mean those that predated European settlers.
One wouldn't expect that Middle Eastern migration had affected them.
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@949havoc
there are only supposed to be 144,000reading too literally. Those 144k may only be executives, so to speak;
Ok. Now prove it.
but there's a whole organization in supporting roles.
OK. Now prove it.
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@BigPimpDaddy
Isn't the first step confirming that jesus was ever here in the first place? You can't return to a place you have never been and fictional characters are not really anywhere.
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@Stephen
It's in the Bible. Read. And read again. Then, read again. Rinse and repeat. You go find it, unless you're paying me to be your tutor. Hint: you're not, just in case you're woke.
I'll even give you a start: 1 Timothy, and Ephesians. But, even Gen 1 has some clues. Read, ponder, pray. That's your formula, but I can't do it for you. You have your own knees. Use them.
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@Deb-8-a-bull
@zedvictor4
The second coming has a reason why it's described as being like a thief in the night. That means woke journalism will not be around to see it, let alone report on it, And any attempt to pre-empt the broadcast by creating a news event will reveal the strings suspending any wokeperson in a suit, first-century robe-style, not to mention forgetting to cover the crane with a green screen. Even CNN will not have time to change their acronym to CNS [Christ No-Show]. Besides, CNN already became Cartoon News Network several years ago, when Roger Rabbit replaced Wolf Blitzer.
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@949havoc
Woke is as woke does.
It has to be said, that your preoccupation with wokeness, makes you the wokest person in this conversation.
And when the swarthy dark haired saviour steps out of the spaceship talking Hebrew, how are you going to react?
Do most woke unwoke Americans think that his first words will be howdy y'all?
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@949havoc
there are only supposed to be 144,000reading too literally. Those 144k may only be executives, so to speak;Ok. Now prove it.but there's a whole organization in supporting roles.OK. Now prove it.It's in the Bible. Read. And read again. Then, read again. Rinse and repeat. You go find it, unless you're paying me to be your tutor. Hint: you're not, just in case you're woke.
So that's no evidence at all them for some beings are chosen to be "executives of the heavenly administration" and other "supporting roles"? That is all you are good for making unsubstantiated claims without supporting evidence. All of you bible dunces are exactly the same..
I'll even give you a start: 1 Timothy, and Ephesians. But, even Gen 1 has some clues.
There are are "clues " in the bible that Jesus and John the baptist were rivals and that he and/ or his followers had a hand in the death of John the Baptist. There are also "clues" the raising the dead was simply a ritualistic ceremony to a higher degree in the Jesus movement and not a literal raising from being a "dead" and rotting stinking days old corpse to being alive again. There are also "clues" that the mother of Jesus was taken against her will and conceived Jesus after an act of the rape of a minor by a priest in his role as the acting "Gabriel".
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@Stephen
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." - James 1: 5. Actually, read the entire chapter, a description of how to deal with "clues" to find out if what you're thinking is actually true, or not. Have I ever said anything different than this on how to read and understand the Bible? No, I have not. It works if you follow the clearly defined path of this chore. If you don't, you remain in a dark cloud. Your choice; something I have also said repeatedly.
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@949havoc
The book of Mormon does not hold any authority for Christians.
Just like the NT does not hold any authority for the Jews.
There is no EVIDENCE that Jesus ever went to America.
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@Tradesecret
And as late as the mid-nineteenth century, even after a century and more of suggestion otherwise, all the evidence suggested that Earth was central to the universe, so how reliable is five-senses evidence? As I have continuously maintained, faith is a sixth sense, but, just as the other five, needing analysis and learning to interpret nuance, it needs these applications of effort, as well. Mostly, people, more than Christians, don't know how. They believe faith and belief are synonymous. No. Simply, no. Yet the process is fully described, OT, NT, Book of Mormon, Qur'an, Buddha, and more. Belief can lead to faith, which can lead to knowledge. Even empirical knowledge so well as science can describe it. Time to read with purpose, ponder and pray.
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@Tradesecret
The book of Mormon does not hold any authority for Christians.
Depends on the Christian to whom you refer, doesn't it. Hell, I know people who remove pages of their Bibles because they don't understand or they disagree with what is said, so your same comment applies, doesn't it?
Just like the NT does not hold any authority for the Jews.
There are Jews who convert to Christianity and accept additional scripture.
Who, after all, is cheeky enough to limit God and tell him his is now mute? Apparently, even you.
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@949havoc
The book of Mormon does not hold any authority for Christians.Depends on the Christian to whom you refer, doesn't it. Hell, I know people who remove pages of their Bibles because they don't understand or they disagree with what is said, so your same comment applies, doesn't it?
No not really. Christians hold the bible - the OT and the NT to be authoritative. True some Catholics and Episcopalians give the old Apocrypha a bit as well. But even they accept it is not quite as authoritative. Mormons are not even Christians, are they?
The book of Mormon is a fake document. How do I know that? Well it is because I prayed to the Holy Spirit for wisdom and the Holy Spirit told me - "don't trust the book of Mormon - it is a fake.". And then after I went and took my book of Mormon and threw it is the bin, I experienced this amazing peace in my heart. I was filled with good feelings and thoughts. And since then my life has just been blessed in so many ways. Now whenever someone tries to read the Book of Mormon to me - I get these terrible headaches. And my mind becomes all muddled and confused. And we know - at least those of us who read the bible, that confusion is caused by the devil.
So please excuse me, if I choose to listen to the Holy Spirit and therefore reject the Book of Mormon.
Just like the NT does not hold any authority for the Jews.There are Jews who convert to Christianity and accept additional scripture.Who, after all, is cheeky enough to limit God and tell him his is now mute? Apparently, even you.
I don't have too many cheeky bones in my body. Ripping pages out of the bible is pretty silly. And who would limit God. I asked him for wisdom and he gave it to me. Are you saying I should not listen to the Holy Spirit? Are you telling me that God is limited to the Mormon Church and what it teaches? Respectfully, it seems to me that you are wanting to limit my view to your view.
But hey, what would I know? I simply asked God for wisdom and he gave to me?
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@949havoc
Who, after all, is cheeky enough to limit God and tell him his is now mute?
I reckon it would be pretty cheeky and silly to call God mute. But on the other hand if God says - I have said my bit - and now I will wait until I am ready to speak again - then it would be pretty cheeky and rude to say otherwise, wouldn't?
The Bible tells us in many places that God has spoken lots - but has also stopped giving fresh revelation. Hebrews 1:1-3 specifically says God spoke in various ways in the past but now - speaks through Jesus.
Do you understand the contrast that the writer is giving. In the past -/ and now. In the past God did this - but now he does this. What changed? Why does God change this aspect of revelation? What would be the point?
Mormons don't generally understand the bible very much. So I can understand your problem here. Yet, it is there. The same as the book of Daniel actually gives us a timeframe for when revelation - as in fresh revelation would CEASE.
Now it is not cheeky to say God has stopped talking to us in a fresh way - if God himself has stated it to be the case.
The book of Mormon is flawed on lots of accounts anyway. Just take its mode of baptism for instance. Obviously written apart from and against the revelation of God. To say baptism means submersion is not what the bible says. And the bible is written under the Inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
But hey what would I know. I don't get to wear the magic fertility underwear.
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@Tradesecret
I asked him [god] for wisdom and he gave it to me.
How and what "wisdom" did he bestow on you?
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@Stephen
I asked him [god] for wisdom and he gave it to me.How and what "wisdom" did he bestow on you?
Stephen, LOL!
Do you want to play this game? Ok.
I asked God for the wisdom to know whether the book of Mormon was the real deal or not.
How? I opened my mouth and prayed to God.
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@Tradesecret
I asked God for the wisdom to know whether the book of Mormon was the real deal or not.How? I opened my mouth and prayed to God.
Well I think the operative questions in that case are did you receive an answer? What form did that answer take? How did you determine the answer was from an external force? Assuming some outside force how do you determine its source?
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@Tradesecret
I don't get to wear the magic fertility underwear.
Is this really sillier than thinking the most supreme being in the universe that created everything great and small, good and evil, beautiful and ugly would be personally offended if two penises bump together?
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@Tradesecret
I asked him [god] for wisdom and he gave it to me.How and what "wisdom" did he bestow on you?Stephen, LOL!Do you want to play this game? Ok.
They are serious questions . I am not playing any game. Stop avoiding the question. You have made an astounding claim.
I asked God for the wisdom to know whether the book of Mormon was the real deal or not.
Yes you have already told us that you asked for wisdom. You haven't told us how he imparted this" wisdom" to you or what it was. Stop avoiding the question
So, when you are ready Reverend "Tradey" I am sure some here would like to hear it. Especially myself.
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@secularmerlin
asked God for the wisdom to know whether the book of Mormon was the real deal or not.How? I opened my mouth and prayed to God.Well I think the operative questions in that case are did you receive an answer? What form did that answer take? How did you determine the answer was from an external force? Assuming some outside force how do you determine its source?
Hi Secularmerlin, the point of my above comments was to draw 949havoc into conversation. It was not me making a theological or even an experiential argument. I am hopeful that 949havoc might engage in this discussion.
I am not intending to discuss it outside of that context.