Deb-8-a-bull

How does a fly land on the ceiling ?

A last second twist. 

Or  A loop.  

How old am i?

You've been my top pick for . 

The Wisest user.  For easy over a decade now. 

Oh And top pick for,  Best on site at kitchen renovating.   

And  I think . you would be a aggressive guy for some reason. 

You probably are not but hey ? 

I believe i would  JUST edge you in a arm wrestling.   You prob wouldn't think so. 

And I'm also thinking around,   10 .5 inches ?

with a decent girth. 

Bigger then I.

 

As we know , theists are not very good when it comes down to . 

Dates. Numbers, time frames. 

And with things never quite what they seem. 

My query is.  An eternity 

Does anyone have any ideas on how long a (  ETERNITY ) IS ?   

"  in christian years "

It sounds like at least 10 years hey. ?

Condoms.

In Hell five minutes doesn't pass without you being viciously set upon and violently raped by all manner of monsters.  

Over and over and over again. 

Soooo,   Lubricants. 

Butt plug. 

Soap on a rope, chastity pants. 

Wet wipes .

Etc etc 

With the actual current climate.  And the global warming factors. 

Hell is alot more hellish then they describe it in the bible. 

Its hotter then ever.   

Upon arriving in hell , your extremities instantly turn to leather. Within one min on arriving

So moisturizing creams. Oils and assorted lotions.

Lip balm, 

I will ask a girl and see what she  says.  I don't care about being the only dude in hell with makeup on. 

Maybe a facemask. 

 

You are going to be cremated you say. 

You got some balls doing that hey. 

I wouldn't chance it. 

I reckon it looks painful. Anddddd as we can only guess what haopens when we die , one might still feel everything. 

And. 

As we know you will be going to heaven stephen , this i dont doubt i do however think , traveling to heaven in ash form is such a hassle.  

Being in ash form state would suck. 

Your cremated body would look exactly like my grandads  cremated body. 

I want to be Walt Disneyied. When i die.   

Death is scary.

I don't want to be buried in the dirt.   I can't do tight spaces.     

I want THE BIGGEST AND MOST FANCY LOOKING GRAVE IN THE BEST POSSIBLE LOCATION OF MY THEN CHOICE..

This is what i really want . 

I would never bother my loved ones with these "What i want to happen with my body when i die "  this , this , and that nonsense.

But maybe i hope someone else makes others aware that deb wanted A REAL REAL FANCY,  TO TOUCH HIM FUNERAL. 

I do hear alot of atheists say rather blasay like.  

' OH WHEN I DIE JUST PUT MY ASHES IN COFFEE TIN OR SOMETHING AND DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH EM ' 

Then they be lke. 

' I don't want people making a fuss about things ' 

Then its. 

 ' i dont want no fancy funeral '  so on and so on. 

And well. 

I DONT LIKE IT. 

Atheists do this hey step. Hen ?

Youve Noticed hey. ?

It may be because theists really have no say in what they want to happen to their bodies upon death. 

Anyway.

I am going to run some tests on this so i will get back to you with my data.  

▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○••▪○••▪○°•

I like the greek funeral i think it is . 

Greeks get buried above the ground in like a cement block i think . And they always have like candles on their grave.  

 

I reason this to. 

Being buried ' Above ground '  wouldn't be so suffocating.   

Are you a ORGAN  DONOR  Stephan ?

Me NO FUCKING WAY. 

Again.  Having your lungs liver and hart removed after your death may be painful. 

Just because i am dead doesn't mean i won't be needing my vital organs and shit. 

And .

When one is traveling to heaven it is better to have all ya bits. 

Not in ash form .

Not in bits n pieces. 

WHOLE.  

Imagine donating your hart only to realize it was very painful and entering heaven is a little more difficult because of it

 

 

Most of us here on site lack the ability to have the ability to believe in God.

We need to be more realistic.

We need  to ready ourselves for the inevitable. 

In short. 

We the atheists are going to burn in hell .  This we know. And so we should for not picking a god and joining in. 

Sooooo

We need to talk about 

Things we can be buried with that will help live an eternity in hell 

A End of life comforting pack.

So together  

We need to think of items that will make forever in hell much much more accommodate ing

And almost livible.

 

It is going to be hot. 

Spf 5000. .

Zink cream. 

Two rolls of aluminum foil

One rape whistle and One dog whistle.   

Fire retardant jell  

Suitable foot wear. 

A small digital radio. 

Flares.   

A small first aid kit, 

As much " real " paper money as possible.  For potential bribes and what nots. 

A hat with a solar powered fan in the brim. 

The list goes on.  

We need to make hell cooler. 

I am not to happy with ( IN THE BEGINNING ) .

God creating Adam out of clay and eve out of adams rib seems reasonably sound.  ( This i wouldn't argue )  

BUT THEN HOWEVER.

God creates. 

Blood type A. 

Fair enough right? 

Then he creates blood type B.

This works fine until this point .

The god does something left of field.

God goes right ahead and makes blood type number 3 , Type A,B. 

And if this is not fucked up enough as it is. 

He for some reason makex another.  

So lets count them up together.

Blood type A.

B.

AB

O.

Thats 4.

INTO

One adam plus one eve equals  =   2. 

So the sum is. 

How many times does four go into two. ?

You can almost now picture god carring around two flasks of blood just waiting for someone to pop up. 

 

Shook me. 

Thats not funny sorry.

Bad taste.  

I'll drink to that.

HEHEHE.

 

Picture a church trying to keep a pastor for the last two years.

I do love picturing a " church owner  "  interviewing pastors/ speakers for " There church "  

They Know what they are looking for. 

I bet a lot of churches are now congratulations  i mean  (  con gra grating )  word .

Con gragrating. 

back with a different head. 

Picture alllll the job titles,   job availabilities running a church. 

Oh the Ruthless jobs in operating a successful church. 

The Jones town suicide thing was something i felt strangely about. 

 

Until then ( me personally ) thought suicide was a one player game game. 

Upon hearing romeo on Juliette .  suicide can be done with another.

Years pass.

Then them 20 or so ufo dudes killed themselves ,

Enter a picture  of  20 dead people dead in bunk beds 

This played on my mind. 

BUT THEN BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

you catch you first picture of the joens town massacre. 

To me .

And id say to many in my life time. 

That doesn't happen.    (  History shows that large scale deaths isn't knew.it has been happened occasionally.  

However.   

 Im not prittied to this. 

That might never happen again.   

I doubt on that scale. 

So the jones town suicide,  when i say shook me i mean . Something upon getting to understand that all those  people committed  suicide is to me still NEARLY UNFATHOMABLE,  thus it shook me.  

There is nothing like that Stephen . 

You dont see or hear about mass suicide oh its a different kettle of fish. 

Shocking hey big fella? 

Do you think it will happen again. ? 

How many was it again . 

Quick google .

900 stephen. 

I thought there was more actually. 

I5 does not haopen hey. 

That picture stephan

Them pictures of all them peoole laying on the ground near each othe dead.  

Starnge

Not shocking. It was just .

Well .

Strange.  

Try telling the atheists nicely that they are going to burn in hell. 

For just a few dollars a week 

After life accommodation is accessible to ALLLLLLLLLL. 

It just so happens that .   JESUS FUCKlNG LOVES CASH. 

Actually i myself can remove " common " sins for  $37 .80  per sin . 

Send cash

I believe atheists often secretly ponder about .

WHEN DO WE GET TOLD WHO THE WINNERS ARE. 

HOW LONG AFTER DEATH IS IT BEFORD WE HEAR THAT  ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE OFFICIAL  RELIGIOUS GROUP WINNERS. 

NO ATHEIST WANTS DO BE SENT TO HELL WITHOUT KNOWING THE GOD THAT SENT THEM THERE.

REST ASSURED ME ATHEIST FREINDS. 

FOR THE RELIGIOUS GROUP WINNERS ARE announced withing the first  three minutes after death. 

Dont sweat it. 

Example. You just died and on a crackly PA system you hear a msg announced

A message of congratulations 

To The (  seventh day adventist. )  they are correct. 

And so on. 

So when all the atheists find themselves somewhat endlessly falling downward and backwards , JUST KNOW. 

Just know that them fuking stupid seventh days were infact  correct .

And you are like . " well I'll be " 

Then ya cooked.  

I haven't been told that i am going to burn in hell when i die for a long time. 

I sure wouldn't mind it. 

One week ago something was said and  it reminded me about  how ALLLLL fhe atheists,  when they die, go to hell. 

And thats like getting cooked from the inside out. 

For a eternity. 

Thats like a long long long time.   

It slipped my mind for easy over a year.   

Anyway Since then ive joined a dozen or so religious  groups sooooo.   I am all good now. 

I'm good to go. 

Im hell Immunized.  

Hell proof 

 

  

I don't gnome. 

Thats pronounced  ( ga-nome ) 

You otter know. 

You bring up a good point. 

I mispelted it. 

You are correct on a otter body experience. That  being what one experience es  when they are a platypus 

A otter body experience. 

Exactly Like a Giraffe body experience but otter 

Ha 

But otter. 

BUT OTTER.,

Wow that's awsome to say. 

But otter.

Say it real fast

But otter. 

Cool

Alright 

Sorry about confusing you zed. 

Are we clear.

Not otter body but outer body. 

When you die there is a lull of sorts.  10 mins  to sometimes 4 hrs.      This is due to the numbers of pods they can have running at once. 

Pods being the capsule that take everyone to the promised land.  

This is rough on anyone involved. It is confusing and scary. The unknowing.  

Ya don't want your Nana going through this. 

Soooooooo.

For a small fee .

We have a team of fully qualified dead dudes standing by ready to help make that most terrifying time much more comforting.

Our team get to you within one minute after death.   That is 100%  Guaranteed or ya money back. 

These guys know exactly what to say and do to make you at ease and come to terms to your knew life.

I mean death.  

 

Sooooooo

If you dont want your loved ones being scared out of there minds .

Get someone there for em when they unfortunately pass. 

We got a standard $275.00 package  to the much more personalized  $1155.00 pack. 

Thats cheaper then a real dear cup of coffee a day for not even one year. 

Send cash. 

Oh thats unless your mom beats ya.  

Religious kids stop loving their mothers WAY WAY to early.

Mums go from meaning everything to the lady at church that makes the sandwiches.

A 10 / 12 year old boy is " closer " to god then a  50 year old women 

I mean. A 12 year old boy trumps any female. 

 I don't know where im going with this now. 

  

I think. 

Moms are way more powerful and important  then any mere god. 

When woukd one stop listening to Mom and " listen " to god. 

When do you think a " religious " kid would realize man are  FAR MORE IMPORTANT then women.  

On a yearly  scale of importance. It goes .

Mom

Mom

Mom

Mom

Mom

Mom

Then  one year it goes to God thennnnnnn mom. 

God 

God 

God

God

God 

Till the end. 

This year of change happens to early with religious people. 

I think.

 

To have it a guess  

It woukd be in between 

Going to heaven for fun times. 

Going to hell to for roasting.  

These two things theists think are like the very end of the scales. 

Fun o'clock party time. 

Orrrrrrrrrr

Burning from the inside out.  

You get EVERYTHING  OR   NOTHING.

not just . 

The same thing happens to everyone no matter what. 

Because it sure does appear that way. 

But dare not mention the same thing might happen to everyone no matter what stance on god. 

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Don't  even say those things.  

Thinking nonsense like this jeopardizes your  " afterlife accommodation " 

It must suck not being able to have your very own opinions on stuff. 

Give this life you are living to god and your afterlife will be awsome 

Orrr

Live this life according to you and afterlife will be Shlt. 

What package did you go with? 

 

 

Imagine haveing the ability  freshly think about what happens when ya die.  

Theists painted jesus REAL REAL THICK LIKE. 

Brush in paint and no wipes what so ever.  

COAT AFTER COAT 

SO YEAH .

Thanks for that guys.

Otter body , inner body. Experiences we dont do round here

What happens when ya die is not a question FULL STOP  

Apart from the visual  (  body decay )  

Soooooooooo.

What ever you think happens when you die is correct.  

Good game. 

Good game. 

I once beat a cat with a stick. 

Actually. 

Do you think a horse knows he is in a race?

 A tandem thought 

Being baptized at a age where one can describe the feeling of it . The stories of it are truly ummm inspirational , an amazing feeling.

What would it feel like being secretly baptized ?    

A preist of three plus years has the ability to turn normal water into holy water. 

So they could go to the beach , bless the water and secretly baptize people.  

Is this Good or bad ?

Should they.  

Having another person suffer or die for my wrong  so i might escape responsibility for having done them is immoral .

However 

The bloke that dies for you comes back to life 3 days later. 

so before it gets to being moral or immoral the question is Mortal  or Immortal.  

If he is immortal it would be immoral for him not to do what he thought was good. 

Actually i need more time thinking about this. 

Good game.

Good game. 

Noway or yahweh ?

Wich brings us to a important question. 

WHO'S GOD WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT. ?  

What gang has the toughest  Gang leader. ? 

Is "OT god"   and   " NT god " the same dude.?

I cant see Gods getting  on very well  with other Gods. 

Like  Alah , god , jesus and Muhammed  wouldn't walk into a bar together. 

You cant hit allah with a quote from the bible. 

Imagine muhammad and allah telling  and teasing jesus allllllllllll day long calling him  " prophet boy " 

Jesus will soon tire of this. 

Then god will gets involved wich puts EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING  on edge because of gods sheer power and ease of  just ending  everything. 

Gods would hate Gods.  

End of story.  

Being a member of one religious group =   Moral

Being a member of two religions groups =  Double Moral. 

A member of three religious groups  =  ULTRA MEAGA MORAL MAN.   

A BLACK BELT IN MORALS IF YOU WILL. 

On a serious note.

I feel if joining a religious group was " good and or benifits outway negs  in any way , one should  and would join another. 

Ben a fish a wear ie  ( spell check  )  

Thus comes commandment numero uno.   A TRULY GREAT THOUGHT OUT IDEA FROM SIMON SITTING ON THE MAT OVER THERE. 

How does it go agin .

Thoht shall not put a another god dude above me  , or before me whatever.  FULL FUKING STOP 

Tis a brilliant play. 

Good game.

Good game. 

I crouch down so I'm like squatting. 

Then i simply  " fall  " in a foward motion  , ducking my head between my kness . 

Well thats how i roll. 

  

We could make something up and just say ( one click  ) "works "   

That will work. 

  First expense.   For ( CREATING A GROUP  )     

$$$$  upwards of one thousand to 1300 a week for eight weeks. 

A fully qualified  great and intriguing  (story maker upper )  a    ( bullshit artists )  

Then we will need a layer,  ( for advice ) 

An accountant . Advisor.  

The multi  gods want me to get a red Ferrari .

A mansion.

And then i want what every major religious group boils down to .

ITS ALLLLLLLLL ABOUT (SEX ) FULL STOP  

Permisquees 

How do i spell that word . 

Premisque sex. 

As joint co founder and a real important guy. 

Im thinking

FIVE WIVES.  

Or maybe four. 

No five .  I want five wives.  Pick of the bunch.  

Cash and Chicks 

HeHe.

RUMBA.   

Pat pending . 

We might be able to get it down to  a  online (  one click  )  and you are in large majority of the most popular and up to date groups of the twenty-first century.  

It ain't  going to be cheap that is for sure. 

But thats to be expected. 

I do not think becoming a jew is going to be a ( one click and a dick pic ) reality.  

It takes alot to become a jew.    

Pulling your foreskin back and looking the JEW good right in the eyse and saying you are circumcised might not cover it.  Pardon the pun. 

Getting into jew heaven not knowing the lines and song thing they do is one thing but getting into jewish heaven with a forskin is another thing.

And i haven't even touched on our WELL-ABOVE EVIL  levels of pork consumption . 

We are going to have to work on this because it is a MAJOR DRAW POINT.  

To Insta join the major three.   

Becoming  a Christian,  a Muslim  and or a Jew.  In the click of a button would be golden.    

One click for men. 

Or the  sixteen clicks and a bunch of forms for Women.  

 

Ahhh,  the good old reiki attunement .

God dam it.     

I totally forgot about that.  .., thats a major boo boo on  my part. 

Becoming a full fledged cackling, spell casting witch might be a little time consuming.  

I am going to look into what it takes to become a " basic witch  "   

 

Hopefully there is something simple and easy to do to become a witch. 

Like slitting a goats throat and drinking a little of his blood. 

Or own a black cat.  

This i can do . 

But you are right Hen step.   

A reiki attunement doesn't  happen over night..   

▪°•▪°▪•°▪•▪°•▪°▪  Thank you for brinig this to my attention    ▪•¤°▪•¤▪°•▪°▪ ▪° ▪°

I may in fact  have to chance it and die a "non-Jewish"  "non- witch"     

Fingers crossed that these groups are incorrect  and  my ( HEAVEN ENTRANCE EXCEPTENCE APPROVAL RATING )  is not effected. 

Good game. 

Good game.  

This is why you need to practice your  (  joining religious groups quickly  ) 

Picture having 5 mins to live. 

It wouldn't be unwise to spend 1 min on  " joining religious groups quickly " 

For example.

The phrase,  (  i except  jesus christ as my lord and saviour. ) 

Powwwwwwww  ,  why Thus phrase alone has you a ( INSTA CHRISTIAN ) in many denominations,  thus making you  ( FULLY ELIGIBLE FOR HEAVEN ACCESS )  

No doubt you have already excepted jesus christ as ya lord and saviour. 

Very well played. 

After uttering that you move straight on to Muhammad and Alan. 

Becoming a Muslim is as easy as becoming a Christian  ,  you just say.

I  AM A MUSLIM NOW.  ( and thats fucking locked in. ) 

Powwww you are now a Muslim and multi denomination christian. 

Close your eyes and   Tell  L Ron you love him.   and a quick shoutout to  zeenoo or whatever his name is. 

Give a thought to Joseph Smith and Buda . Do the satin sign with your fingers

And thats not even 15 seconds.  

UNFORTUNATELY one cannot become Jewish within a minute  sooooooooo, fingers crossed on that one.

This  (  JOINING RELIGIOUS GROUPS QUICKLY  )  done correctly  has you a   FULLY  qualified (   CHRISTIAN MUSLIM MORMON WITNESS SEVENTH DAY SATANIC WITCH )  in    under 60  seconds. 

Practice this over and over and you will get it down to 20 seconds max. 

 

 

Oh And maybe them body of christ waffers they give out. 

mmmmmmm   jesus body flavored waffers.  

Well hot cross buns is the only thing jesus gave all of us. 

Can i get a AMEN.  

Remembering what you did yesterday is a conscious hulucination.  

And i shouod never stop asking them hey ?

It's  rational. 

It's rational to think god wants us meeting up and singing songs to him. 

Its common sense for  10 ,30, 40 year old single,  married,  familys from around your neighborhood to sing songs together. 

Rash nil. 

I mean rational  

Hold.

Why it couldn't  be NO more then  (Two lines ) into singing songs to the good lord jesus 

Ya rational kicks in .

Thats your rationality.

Or is it. 

We haven't a rationality,   

Thats a different post. 

If atheism is irrational,  theists ,   theism is ummmm,  more irrational. 

And that's just for starters.   

Look i don't want to play percentages any more.   Percenties.....

Horrible game. 

Does being 99.9 % sure god doesn't exist mean you are agnostic. ?

It doesn't really hey.  

It doesn't. 

 

If ya cant be 100 % sure .

Its percentage time.  

Yes

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUT

No

I suppose the next question woukd be .

Are you 100% sure leprechaun don't exist.

You should be able to say yess to this right.?

What  about ghosts ?

Can you be 100% sure ghosts dont exist. 

That is a horrible question.