#forgiveness

I can get on board with believing in Jesus, with thinking he was raised from the dead. 

Why would I want to be forgiven?

1. It's fucked up that he would be sacrificed for my sins. The guy was perfect, he doesn't deserve that. Literally slaughtering an innocent person. I don't want that on my conscience and so I must reject forgiveness.

2. Why would I want forgiveness? Why would I want to get away with stuff? I would much prefer to pay for my sins. I rather just take some sort of punishment than allowing some filthy Jew to die for me, particularly one who is not only innocent but the most innocent a person ever has been.

What is with some people's urge to receive forgiveness rather than actually pay for their crimes? 

I have done wrong things. I deserve the consequences of those things and in fact so do you.