Thanks to TheJackle for contending this debate. I like the fact that we implicitly exchanged debates lol.
Before I get to my introduction I realized that I didn't put down a definition for the word "bad." The term will be defined using the definition outlined in Merriam Webster's Dictionary stating the following: "Failing to conform to standards of moral virtue or acceptable conduct." If Con has any issues with this definition, he may feel free to tweak the definition so long that it does not reach outside the boundaries of this debate.
I think almost every straight man can relate to the fear and intimidation of asking a girl out on a date. I think even more men can relate to a feeling similar (yet more familiar) of being a little boy having their first crush, and trying to gather up the courage to tell a girl that he likes her. This kind of fear and anxiety is essentially a rite of passage that almost every boy goes through in their life, regardless of a positive or negative outcome. Later in life, most men take this learning experience and apply it seriously to women because by then they will have gained experience through either trial and error, or simply through gained confidence and self esteem.
For other men, however, that sometimes isn't the case. Imagine a life of constant rejection from girls; stemming all the way back to that first crush I described. I'm talking so much rejection that to the point, you start to ask yourself, "Am I even good enough?" "Am I ugly?" "How come everyone other guy can get someone they love but not me?" These can be irrational questions at times, but all of us ask ourselves these questions to a certain degree, even through multiple contexts. After a while, each rejection resembles a cut and as rare as it can be, there is death from a thousand cuts.
After a while, the only resort is to blame others in order to retain some sort of self esteem. This last resort one that no one ever wants to go to. No one (or an EXTREME FEW) wants to filled with hatred or resentment. No one wants to be without someone they can love and cherish. No one wants to be alone and hateful, waiting to die alone. It's these gruesome and dreadful aspects of being an incel that can push specific people over the edge to carry out acts of mass violence and terror, and while this kind of violence is extremely condemnable there are those who don't have the will to do anything so hateful and live with this dread on a daily basis.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what it means to be an incel.
Pro's end of the debate doesn't seek to make you sympathize with school shooters and make anything violent (even through speech) excusable. What Pro seeks out to do is to shed light on the community that hasn't been shed, specifically neglected by mainstream media.
You're probably asking yourself where mainstream media fits into this equation. The incel community has been unfairly labeled as misogynist when many views of incels aren't misogynist to begin with.
What inspired me to start this debate was after watching a specific video from the mainstream YouTube channel, Jubilee. It's a channel centered on creating dialogue and discussion about sensitive topics and issues that exist in the modern world. Jubilee has a series called "Ask Them Anything," where they take a specific individual who represents an ideology/lifestyle and invite strangers to ask that person anything. This particular video in the series involved having an incel answer questions from strangers, hoping to shed light on the community and himself as well. The link to the video is under my listed sources .
Within the first few seconds of the video, it immediately equates incels to misogyny, sexism, and racism. After watching the whole video, it's easy to see that Derrick's views (the name of said incel) on women and society weren't necessarily hateful or derogatory towards anyone. A lot of what he says that is perceived by the video and individuals in the video to be misogynist are traditionally normative practices that have taken place in American history; the Good Ol' Days for familiarity. Derrick mentions that he wants someone who can essentially serve as a housewife while he serves as the man who brings home the bacon. Something like this is virtually nonexistent nowadays, but it shouldn't be labeled as misogynist. There's no hatred towards women in that ideology, it's a preference in what he wants in a relationship and unless he can find a woman who would be comfortable with that sort of thing, it's an unrealistic one. Yet no hatred stems from it whatsoever.
The pathos of this video screams to vilify the right wing view on social politics. Highlighting all of the negative aspects of what Derrick had to say is an explicit way to make him look bad and to deter the light that should be shed on the community. A good example is the first dialogue we see with Derrick and the man in the leather jacket. After Derrick says that a very small handful of people in the incel community are violent people, the video never cuts back to what he was building up to say. That kind of commentary could have been very insightful and could have given the roughly 28 million viewers a better idea on what the community is.
Incel is a word combination of the term "involuntarily celibate," which translates to being withheld sex or companionship. To be an incel is to be someone who has gone his whole life without knowing companionship or love from a woman. At the end of the day, all incels truly want is someone to love, someone to talk to, and To be an incel is to want to escape being one. Pro intends to take this aspect of incel culture and show you exactly who incels really are deep down, while condemning acts of violence that incels can be capable of.
Finally, I mentioned this before but I am in no way an incel or should be viewed as a diplomat for the community. However, in hindsight I would have considered myself an incel back in my early days of high school, because I personally struggled to ask girls out after constant rejection to the point where I lost a lot of confidence in myself. Thus, I sympathize with those who don't see a way out of a never-ending spiral of losing self esteem. Unlike incels, I ended up breaking that constant cycle of rejection, and landed myself the most amazing girlfriend anyone can ask for and celebrating over 3 years of being together.
With all of this in mind, you'll find that Pro stands not for violence and aggression, but sympathy and outreach.