Instigator / Pro
2
1456
rating
22
debates
27.27%
won
Topic

(Joke debate) Chuck Norris is the most powerful man in the universe

Status
Finished

All stages have been completed. The voting points distribution and the result are presented below.

Voting points
2
2

With 3 votes and same amount of points on both sides ...

It's a tie!
Parameters
More details
Publication date
Last update date
Category
Miscellaneous
Time for argument
One day
Voting system
Open voting
Voting period
One week
Point system
Winner selection
Rating mode
Rated
Characters per argument
10,000
Contender / Con
2
1803
rating
107
debates
78.04%
won
Description
~ 228 / 5,000

rules:

chucknorrisfacts.net is a valid source for this debate.
saying any fictional character is stronger than Chuck Norris is okay.
joking is okay.

DO NOT MAKE THIS DEBATE POLITICAL.

Whoever makes the funniest arguments wins

Round 1
Pro
1. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle 
2. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital
3. When Chuck Norris slices onions, the onions cry.
4. Chuck Norris counted to infinity — twice
6. Chuck Norris once went to mars, that’s why there no life over there 
7. Evidence for the Big Bang has shown that everything in the universe is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
8. Chuck Norris’s Keyboard has no backspace because Chuck Norris can’t make mistakes.
9. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’s pc will crash.
10. Hurricanes are born when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the air.
11. The giraffe once had a short neck, then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one in the face and now they have a long neck.
12. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
13. Chuck Norris is the reason the dinosaurs are dead
14. Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear
15. In the beginning there was nothing, then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and the universe was born.
16. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
17. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
18. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
19. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
20 Chuck Norris can strangle you with a chord less phone.


Con
Rebuttals

I will refute these points 1 by 1.

1. Everyone can do that, if they know how to ride a unicycle. [1]This is the definition of "wheelie". Since there is only one wheel on an unicycle, the only wheel is both the front and back wheel, which makes that if you are riding a unicycle, you are always doing a wheelie.

2. [citation needed]

3. It is very common for onions to cry, since that is what makes you cry in the first place. Cutting onions releases a liquid that contains a chemical which stimulates the glands in your eyes to cry[2]. Crying is literally just outputting liquid, which is what onions do here. If you are wearing a spacesuit or those sealed suits wore by the cleaners of the nuclear wastegrounds, then chances are that you can do that too.

4. https://youtu.be/SrU9YDoXE88[3] Seeing that we have built such complex systems of counting even on an infinite level, this is normal, for any mathematician.

5. THIS IS THE ONLY SOURCED POINT. It basically says that Chuck Norris cut a rock in half with scissors. That is not impossible, as scissors are wedges, and look what wedges can do[4]. Anyone with such a skill can do it, with enough time and enough scissors. This skill is not impossible to learn.

6,7. [citation needed]

8. I don't know about the reasoning, but it is perfectly possible to use this keyboard with a mouse or even a touchpad since you can just select and Ctrl + X. Not impessed.

9. That still implies that Chuck Norris uses Windows, which is not that impressive.

10. The logic presented seems like that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking air immediately creates hurricanes regardlessly, as if it is bound to happen for every kick. That is untrue as I clearly have a recording of him kicking yet NOT creating hurricanes[5].

11-12. You would need to disprove Lamarck, Darwin and Mendel to say this, or to prove that Chuck Norris gives way to natural selection. Evidence is needed to prove that Norris is God, Jesus or Noah, in which none of those proofs are presented. If Norris is a God, then he is not a man[6], which violates the topic.

13. That would mean Chuck Norris is a meteor[6]. A meteor is less mobile than a person once it hits the ground due to a lack of sentience[8] and the sheer mass and size. Plus, that would Norris not a "man" at all, which violates the topic itself.

14. That just means Chuck Norris is unable to write books because books write themselves(which the point writes in a way not related to Chuck Norris controlling it, the letters just form words by themselves).

15. First, that would make Norris a Deity, or the Big Bang, and definitely not a man. Second, suppose if he drove his mother to home at birth, that implies cars and mothers exist prior to Norris. Points 2 and 15 contradict each other.

16. That just means he has essentially rewritten how mathematics works. You can do that anytime, just maybe people don't accept it. Pro did not put any evidence that this act was affimed by mathematicians.

17. Not impressed. It is already possible[7].

18. Considering stones are not alive from the start[8], you don't even need to use a bird to kill them. You don't need to stab a corpse in order to make it dead.

19. One can as well simply just destroy the foundation of periodic table by recognizing water, fire, wind and earth as elements, but nowhere in this point was stated that anyone agreed on it. Again, I can do it too, but people are free to think whatever bullcrap they call "Hydrogen" exists.

20. Actually, you can do that, everyone can. The Iphone, which is a cableless phone, still can utilize charging cables and wired earphones. In fact, you can just strangle anyone with a long string taped upon a cableless phone. A cableless phone is just a phone that does not require cables to make it work, but it does not mean it can't have decorative cables. Then again, I suppose this is not as cool as Darth Vader, who strangles people without the use of any phones at all.[9]

CONSTRUCTIVE

I would give an example of a more powerful human male. For example, Sheev Palpatine.

[10] All below are cited from here.
Darth Sidious, or Sheev Palpatine, was one of the most powerful people alive in Star Wars(Note that Pro specifically allowed fictional characters). His power exhibits in the following.

Political

This guy was the Chancellor of the entire galaxy for the Galatic Republic, which controlled an entire galaxy. After that, for a few years, he declared himself Emperor and kept ruling the galaxy for another 25 years (19BBY-4ABY). Before the Empire was formed, he had an intricate plan for power in which he recruited 2(two) powerful Jedi as his apprentice, used the former(Dooku) to help him play both sides in the Clone Wars, in which he ran the Republic while secretly aiding other powerful beings, including Dooku, who leads the Confederacy Separatist movement and opposed the republic. Later, he recruited Anakin(Vader) and made him a governmental official and used him to enforce the galaxy for the entirety of the empire's duration.

Not only that, he is a Sith Lord. Although there can only be 2 Sith Lords at a given time, the fact he had 3 apprentices and planned what to do with each one of them and when to dispose of them shows that he in fact is a powerful being. Not only that, he killed Darth Plagueis, his master, which could save literally anything from death(while saving himself from death).

Palpatine then ruled the First Order(or Dark Empire or even the Crimson Empire) even after his first death in 4ABY. They later turned out to rule half of the galaxy. Palpatine created Sith Cults and even made clone bodies of him in far ends of the galaxies, and has abilities to shift consciousness before bodies, which he did in his "death" at 4ABY.

Physically

Palpatine is an incredible master at the Dark Side of the Force and the combat of red lightsabers. Palpatine is one of few individuals to possess the ability to use lightning, which he killed people with it with unlimited power. He is also skilled in telekinesis, predicting the future, and creating a dark aura that corrupts individuals with dark force.

Please state how Chuck Norris could beat him. In any case, Chuck Norris will just be shocked by Palpatine after he uses Norris as a pawn then electrocutes him after he no longer has uses.

I rest my case here.

Round 2
Pro
Sir your r1 is not that funny to read. I have put a rule in the description were the one who makes the funniest arguments wins. If I have to explain every joke then it wouldn't be funny.


I will refute these points 1 by 1.

1. Everyone can do that, if they know how to ride a unicycle. [1]This is the definition of "wheelie". Since there is only one wheel on an unicycle, the only wheel is both the front and back wheel, which makes that if you are riding a unicycle, you are always doing a wheelie.
Chuck Norris can pull his unicycle wheel into the air and blast a giant big bang from his mouth to go at the speed of light and cause millions of deaths and impale hundreds with the wheel.


3. It is very common for onions to cry, since that is what makes you cry in the first place. Cutting onions releases a liquid that contains a chemical which stimulates the glands in your eyes to cry[2]. Crying is literally just outputting liquid, which is what onions do here. If you are wearing a spacesuit or those sealed suits wore by the cleaners of the nuclear wastegrounds, then chances are that you can do that too.
Chuck Norris makes tears come from the onions themselves. 

4. https://youtu.be/SrU9YDoXE88[3] Seeing that we have built such complex systems of counting even on an infinite level, this is normal, for any mathematician.
Chuck Norris can go from "1, 2, 3, 4 -" all the way up to infinity in a matter of seconds 

5. THIS IS THE ONLY SOURCED POINT. It basically says that Chuck Norris cut a rock in half with scissors. That is not impossible, as scissors are wedges, and look what wedges can do[4]. Anyone with such a skill can do it, with enough time and enough scissors. This skill is not impossible to learn.
Chuck Norris cuts planets he doesn't like in half with a pair of normal scissors.

6,7. [citation needed]

8. I don't know about the reasoning, but it is perfectly possible to use this keyboard with a mouse or even a touchpad since you can just select and Ctrl + X. Not impessed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need or ever use Ctrl + X, he doesn't make mistakes.
9. That still implies that Chuck Norris uses Windows, which is not that impressive.
Bill Gates still lives in fear though

10. The logic presented seems like that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking air immediately creates hurricanes regardlessly, as if it is bound to happen for every kick. That is untrue as I clearly have a recording of him kicking yet NOT creating hurricanes[5].
Chuck Norris kicks the air so hard that it sends a gush of wind which causes the water in the ocean to evaporate into a storm to kill people.

11-12. You would need to disprove Lamarck, Darwin and Mendel to say this, or to prove that Chuck Norris gives way to natural selection. Evidence is needed to prove that Norris is God, Jesus or Noah, in which none of those proofs are presented. If Norris is a God, then he is not a man[6], which violates the topic.
If Jesus is both God and man, then why can't Chuck Norris be also?

13. That would mean Chuck Norris is a meteor[6]. A meteor is less mobile than a person once it hits the ground due to a lack of sentience[8] and the sheer mass and size. Plus, that would Norris not a "man" at all, which violates the topic itself.
It wasn't meteor that killed the dinosaurs, it was Chuck Norris kicking the ground so hard that all the dinosaurs were launched into the exosphere and when the dinosaurs fell they shattered into gory pieces. The kick formed the Chicxulub crater.

14. That just means Chuck Norris is unable to write books because books write themselves(which the point writes in a way not related to Chuck Norris controlling it, the letters just form words by themselves).
Chuck Norris could write if he wants to but doesn't need to, he scares the words into submission with his very presence.
15. First, that would make Norris a Deity, or the Big Bang, and definitely not a man. Second, suppose if he drove his mother to home at birth, that implies cars and mothers exist prior to Norris. Points 2 and 15 contradict each other.
If Jesus is both God and man, then why can't Chuck Norris be also?

16. That just means he has essentially rewritten how mathematics works. You can do that anytime, just maybe people don't accept it. Pro did not put any evidence that this act was affimed by mathematicians.
Chuck Norris scared the shit out of logic and now logic does whatever Chuck Norris wants.

17. Not impressed. It is already possible[7].
Chuck Norris can just right click on the recycling bin and delete it. Then the computer fills up and the entire pc blows up in a tsar bomba explosion which Chuck Norris blows away with his mouth in order to use the mushroom cloud to destroy his enemies around the world.

18. Considering stones are not alive from the start[8], you don't even need to use a bird to kill them. You don't need to stab a corpse in order to make it dead.
Chuck Norris exists outside of logic, therefore he can kill non living things.

19. One can as well simply just destroy the foundation of periodic table by recognizing water, fire, wind and earth as elements, but nowhere in this point was stated that anyone agreed on it. Again, I can do it too, but people are free to think whatever bullcrap they call "Hydrogen" exists.
YOU ARE GETTING TOO SERIOUS. Chuck Norris doesn't need to recognize any elements of any kind because the element he uses is surprise.

20. Actually, you can do that, everyone can. The Iphone, which is a cableless phone, still can utilize charging cables and wired earphones. In fact, you can just strangle anyone with a long string taped upon a cableless phone. A cableless phone is just a phone that does not require cables to make it work, but it does not mean it can't have decorative cables. Then again, I suppose this is not as cool as Darth Vader, who strangles people without the use of any phones at all.[9]
Chuck Norris doesn't need to attach any kind of string or cable in order to suffocate you with a chordless phone
This guy was the Chancellor of the entire galaxy for the Galatic Republic, which controlled an entire galaxy. After that, for a few years, he declared himself Emperor and kept ruling the galaxy for another 25 years (19BBY-4ABY). Before the Empire was formed, he had an intricate plan for power in which he recruited 2(two) powerful Jedi as his apprentice, used the former(Dooku) to help him play both sides in the Clone Wars, in which he ran the Republic while secretly aiding other powerful beings, including Dooku, who leads the Confederacy Separatist movement and opposed the republic. Later, he recruited Anakin(Vader) and made him a governmental official and used him to enforce the galaxy for the entirety of the empire's duration.

Not only that, he is a Sith Lord. Although there can only be 2 Sith Lords at a given time, the fact he had 3 apprentices and planned what to do with each one of them and when to dispose of them shows that he in fact is a powerful being. Not only that, he killed Darth Plagueis, his master, which could save literally anything from death(while saving himself from death).

Palpatine then ruled the First Order(or Dark Empire or even the Crimson Empire) even after his first death in 4ABY. They later turned out to rule half of the galaxy. Palpatine created Sith Cults and even made clone bodies of him in far ends of the galaxies, and has abilities to shift consciousness before bodies, which he did in his "death" at 4ABY.
Um sir: Chuck Norris is unable to die in the meme universe. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he wins fairly and squarely.



Palpatine is an incredible master at the Dark Side of the Force and the combat of red lightsabers. Palpatine is one of few individuals to possess the ability to use lightning, which he killed people with it with unlimited power. He is also skilled in telekinesis, predicting the future, and creating a dark aura that corrupts individuals with dark force.

Please state how Chuck Norris could beat him. In any case, Chuck Norris will just be shocked by Palpatine after he uses Norris as a pawn then electrocutes him after he no longer has uses.

I rest my case here.

Hah, like if Chuck Norris's power was limited:

Chuck Norris once had an arm wrestling contest with superman.
I'm not going to say who won, but the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside for the rest of his life.

George Lucas couldn't cast Chuck Norris as Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy..
If he did, it would be only 8 minutes long. 7 of those minutes are for the intros and credits.


Chuck Norris has to carry a concealed weapons permit when he wears his regular clothes.

Con
Woah, definitely not expecting such a quick response. That said, if Imabench is still around, he would absolute ace this kind of debates.

1. No New Arguments

If we ought to disregard new arguments made in the last ever round(which is this one), as considered in many debates that have more than 1 round, then Con ought to win due to that none of Pro's points(which were gish gallop, and most of them that required sources were unsourced) were self-evident and all of them are debunked one way or another by Con. 

2. Yes New Arguments

If we ought to regard the New R2(-D2, pun intended) arguments, then I shall make more, because it is clear that if the opponent can do it, I can too. Conduct is a 1 point deal, Arguments is 3.

REBUTTALS(still numbered)

  1. That sounds absurd, so absurd in fact that I am almost certain that it is fabricated. Chuck Norris breaks the confinements of physics, creates a Big Bang, and yet he only kills millions of people and only kills hundreds with the wheel. [1]This is the definition of "Big Bang". The term is only applicable to universal-scale explosions. The world has more than a billion people. If anything, billions will be killed at least rather than "millions" and "hundreds". Which means this point is fabricated and invalid. (Mic drop)
  2. [no contention]
  3. Yeah, because that is what onions do. They output liquid that makes you cry. Crying is outputting liquid and onions always cry before you do because it is the liquid as the cause that makes you cry as an effect.
  4. Counting from 1 to 2, you are skipping infinitely many real numbers, such as 1.1, 1.2, 1.31415926, etc. Therefore, counting from 1, 2, 3, 4... then to ω should also be allowed, which allows yourself to count from 1 to infinity in seconds, since ω is an infinitely large ordinal number.
  5. The question then becomes, "what is a normal pair of scissors"? I maintain that a normal pair of scissors is anything that looks like a regular pair of scissors. As the great physicist Archimedes said, "Give me one firm spot on which to stand, and I shall move the earth." With a regular lever large enough, he can lift the Earth. With a pair of scissors scaled up enough, anyone can cut the Earth.
  6. Finally this is sourced, but since it is from reddit and you know reddit is the home of many chuckling pedophiles, we ought to not trust Reddit ever again.
  7. Same as 6.
  8. All of us humans can make mistakes, yet he cannot. If so, that would mean Chuck Norris is less powerful than us on this part. I wlil prpsoufeluly mkae msiatkes hree to sohw tihs ponit.
  9. That still doesn't mean using windows is impressive either. #LINUXGANG #GETOWNED (insert MLG horn sounds)
  10. Oh my god, this is like an "expert" saying that vaccines cause autism and I ask him to show evidence WITH evidence against him, and all he says is the process supposedly that autism are induced(which is of no proof). Why should I trust you, especially since I have brought evidence that he in fact kicked without causing hurricanes.
  11. Absolute no words have been dedicated to prove whether Norris is God, Jesus or anyone remotely close to their level. We are not arguing whether Norris could be the most powerful man, we are arguing whether he IS. If there is no proof that Norris is a Jesus-level being, well, no solid evidence if so, then this argument is dismissed.
  12. Same as 11.
  13. Same as 10.
  14. You would think that Norris would have written more books if so, but this is a list of all books authored by Norris[2]. You would think that such a "powerful being" if so would produce hundreds of books a day but no. Clearly either he doesn't use this ability or he is very unskilled at it.
  15. Same as 11.
  16. According to everyone I know, the construct of "man" or "human" is completely within the bounds of physics and logic. If Norris is beyond that, then he is not a human, which is self-refuting.
  17. All of us know that a Windows computer does not explode like that. #OHHHROASTED (insert MLG horn sounds again)
  18. Same as 16.
  19. You don't have to recognize the periodic table or even the element of surprise to begin with because of the freedom of thought and speech. I believe that Earth, Fire, Air and Water are 4 elements, and whoever is calling bullcrap such as "Helium" or "Oganesson" or even "Surprise" are deluded. I am free to believe so. Not impressed.
  20. "Hey boss." "What's up?" "This guy needs to be choked, I am calling from my wireless phone." "Alright, I will strangle him myself." *dead* "I am Darth Vader. Don't mess with me, rebel scum."
Rebuttals on Palpatine, etc
  • If Norris is unable to die, that means we are superior since we have the ability to die in which he has not. And we are not omnipotent either, so Norris could not be either.
  • Superman's suit is 1 piece. It is just how it is colored[3]. Absolutely NO superhero would ever wear a piece of clothing that will fall off easily during flight. On the other hand, Norris often wears shorts, which are similar to underwears both topographically and functionally. So, who won? You tell me.
  • The most similar character in the SW Canon universe with Chuck Norris is arguably Darth Maul. You know how he went[4], heavily injured by a Padawan(who is not yet master) mere minutes after he was revealed to 2(two) Jedi. That is pretty weak to my standards. Also, Darth Maul was used by Palpatine as a tool who didn't want to keep him going till the end anyways, employing 2 other fallen Jedi afterwards otherwise.
  • Since Palpatine can simply use the Force, and that Norris carries weapons in his clothes, chances are that Palpatine will 100% win this fight because he knows telekinesis, electric shock, and the Dark Side of the Force. Norris will just be zapped to death before he could do anything. And if he does anything that could beat Palpatine, he simply fails to keep being human, which still defeats Pro's argument.
I rest my case. (Mic drops even harder, slapping da sound stick over the floor till it reaches da earth's core and melts)