Instigator / Pro

Rap Battle: Big L vs Eminem


The debate is finished. The distribution of the voting points and the winner are presented below.

Winner & statistics
Better arguments
Better sources
Better legibility
Better conduct

After 3 votes and with 1 point ahead, the winner is...

Publication date
Last updated date
Number of rounds
Time for argument
One week
Max argument characters
Voting period
One month
Point system
Multiple criterions
Voting system
Minimal rating
Contender / Con

Pro assumes the role of Big L and Con assumes the role of Eminem.

This is Big L during the year that he passed versus current Eminem. (Nothing about either of these two is off-limits.)

1. Both sides are expected to try and mimic the rapping style of their rapper they are acting as. Plagiarizing their lyrics or choosing a style of lines they may use is allowed. However, this rule is an expectation. Not a requirement. Either side can rap differently if they prefer.
2. Voters decide who they think won, but they must quote their favorite lines from both sides and explain why one side did better than the other.
3. Pro is emulating Big L and dissing Eminem. Con is emulating Eminem and is dissing Big L.
4. This is not a diss between the users that are Pro and Con, this is a lyrical feud between the characters they're portraying.

Battle Rap- Type of rapping performed between two or more performers that incorporates boasts, insults and wordplay.

Round 1
( Music for the first track. 

You’re a walking dead man, Slim. 
All coked out, talking smack
Like a drooling inbred skinhead

Spouting rhymes with jokes as weak as your hairline. 
I’m the real Top G in this game. 
You’re not a high enough level for this boss fight.

What a tragedy. 
Like you can get more raggedy.

Sad, cuz Marshall thinks he mattahs. 
Binge-eating so he gets fattah. 

You’re dead weight, Shady. 
Sink like the Titanic. 
Get used as bait because there’s always bigger fish. 

All bluff, and full of fluff
Actin’ like you’re so tough
Cryin’ life is unfair because you’re built like an albino teddy bear

You’re confetti, thinking you’re in the same league as Nick Cannon. Looks like you need some tannin’
Mariah played you, shamed you, humiliated you. 
Said yo’ wee-wee is the size of an Eminem.

Got no one else to blame but yoself. 
You big fat, broke bum. 
With tats making you look like a sucker
Stuck thinking bout how you still wanna fuck her.

Yo, Imma pull my D out to the DART board and jizz bang-in-the-middle,
I made the Queen into a harlot after you were busy eating her out with 'em big Lick dribbles,
I'll stuff the pun inside a hoe and make you listen to this riddle,
She's a cow, I'm a pig, you wannabe GOAT stuck in the middle,
Oink as I boink, what's the point in this, big L?
Any girl I fuck's a fine ass swine, yours are ewwwww and lack the horn, no trickle,
I tried to search if you had a wife or any children but I guess we aint gotta worry about a lamb or chicken little,
You don't even have family as an excuse for quitting the game, you're fickle,
I bounce back, boing! oink oink, you fucking sheep to the game with the shook bones, brittle,
Why you scared L? You call that spit? Sun's out and there aint even a rainbow from that gay ass drizzle,
I'm a cracker, why you scared? You've been lickin' cracks and spitting out what you get from the hush-hush ghostwritten dogshit, L.
Round 2

Sorry Em, Couldn’t hear you
Must’ve been the sound of your teeth getting in the way of you giving head. 
Should’ve left my D out your mouth. 
Quit while you’re still ahead before you catch oral cancer. 

I’m the real Em-Cee, you’re just an NPC
I fuck real chicks while you pay for toothless hicks that give you genital ticks
Yeah, you got great taste with the real picks

You’re a useful punching bag. 
Quite the washed-up fag
Try not to shed a tear, queer

I’ll bleach your hair blonde by using your head to scrub my toilets. 
Oh, and you look like a buff lesbian. 
Should I call you Ellen Degenerate? 

Could’ve had an actual career instead of serving beer if you spent as much time working on them lines as you do snorting crack. 

But now, you’re just gonna get smacked
This is your last chance because next time, I’m not holding back.


How the hell is this guy acting like the main character while testing me?
Died in '99 but knows of the acronym NPC?
Getting chilly with the ghost vibes off this friendly G,
Gotta flirt with me and out o' force of habit see my ass and grab it, big L straight through to the G B T,
B for Britain where fags gets smoked RIP L, but don't get me wrong; I'm not your enemy...

I'm a pitcher, you're a catcher, but who's holdin' the bat?
I'll give credit where it's due, they don't put 9 bullets in a rodent, cat,
You's more puss than rat, more bitch than bat,
Back with the beef-fuelled metaphors good doggy, are you sat?
I get it you're trying to gamble, saying I'm bluffing but my hat has a cracker rabbit that is rabid and spits rapid you blink, brains splat...
Round 3

Nice blowjob, Em. 
Deepthroating Lil L like a corn on a cob
Kiss your career bye after you suck me dry
Playing lip-diddle with my big fiddle.
Like damn, you really sucking off more than you can chew, old man.

Taking little shots like Pew-Pew to my Boom-Boom.

I ain’t no ghost, fool. But you bouta be when I’m through with you. 

By the way, yo momma says I’m a little baddy,
Guess you gonna have to call me Big Daddy

You think we’re battlin’, but really I’m a fucking tsunami and right now, you’re jus’ paddlin’

Oh yeah and nice beard, Em.
Makes you look like Cthulhu. 
Take my advice and get rid of it, then we’re gucci, cuz that thing looks like it’s got more pubic lice in it than Kim’s coochie

Oooh La La, full homo for the promo, I see, you're more than a bit loco but I told you, I bounce right back like a yo-yo,
You always wanna go slow, no homo bro but flow-wise I rip a hole in your powerpuff girl shit, I'm Mojojojo,
You assumed I'd be a no-show, boo hoo Buttercup, go floss your teeth or I'll Blossom the only plaque you lived to show, oh no what a low-blow. So, hoe?
I'm gon' burst your Bubbles like the Popo at yo' do' to inform yo' Mom that at twenty fo' you had to go, bro,
How you know about the lice in Kim's cunt that's a no-go, I'd say I'd kill ya but 9 bullets and you still can't rest, here's dessert, little boy, hot bard heat a mug with coco,
You sippy sip but want sugar, 'cause it's so-so, daddy always told yo' sugar, spice 'n' everything nice makes up for the fake that every pic of you can show's got the crybaby vibe of a mugshot photo.

I'm here to teach you a lesson you aint gonna forget soon, son,
I kept hip hop alive when you were way past done,
You inspired horrorcore, glorifyin' drugs 'n' guns,
Wonder if it's a phantom at work that got you killed by one, you malfunctioned droid for the industry, dunce,
I'm the one to avoid, you done fucked up big-time here with these stunts,
Went from calling me fag to backtracking like a slag that's got a positive result on a test she wish she'd flunked,
I don't get if you're tryna appeal to the rainbow punks, but trust me, more gays have wanted to try me more than once, on all fours than your entire fan-base you make lesbians wanna try that femboy face, so eat those cunts.
Round 4

Listen here, you buck-toothed fuck. 
You got less testosterone than Bieber. 
Lookin’ like a beaver.

Betta change your dentures, chipmunk. 
What’s wrong, my schlong got your tongue?
Take this as a tip, punk, before I murder yo ass. 

You’re a pariah after getting dumped by Mariah. Bet Nick’s warming her up all quick and easy. 
Meanwhile, you’re stiff and queasy.

Go blow your nose, Slim. You starting to sound all nasally like a Muppet. 
Shoulda figured since you’re getting played like a Puppet. 

No humility, no personality. 
You’re all quack, but no tact. Looking at me with your Thousand Yard Stare. 
Pucker up, son. 
You’re just a dollarstore version of Mark Cuckerberg.

We’re trading blows because all the real men keep stealin’ your hoes.

Yes, I called you homo for this promo, bitch.
The fuck you gonna do bout it. You’re more of a pussy than Chris Cuomo.
You wanna be me so bad that you transformed into the biggest clown in town.

You not a rapper, 
You’s a wholeass capper

Constantly firing blanks, while I be shootin’ missiles. Yes, yo momma quite the slag. No wonder you’ve turned into such the hag.

I died, ‘cuz that’s what happens to real legends, homie. 
You not even gangsta. 
You’re just a tech geek, freak. 

Calling me your role model.
Better tread carefully, cuz you’re whiter than Vanilla Ice. 

I’m inspirational, you’re forgettable. 
Sad I’m no longer around to give you my autograph. 

Walked into the last Round a real believer, sayin' I got less T in me than Bieber,
Big Lesbian still aint got the memo, femboy face but why's nobody sittin near her?
They aint even sittin' on the mouth that's been silent for no less time than an era, is it an error if I ever dare say it as e-ra? Oh dear,
You've been noone since the nineties, you're a relic not a peer, I don't think anyone's buyin' what you're sellin', 4 disses in and you're still clinging on the lifeline of who's queerer,
I get it, you're all hung up on the fact I left the seat up 'fore you sat sulkin' like a schoolgirl plagued with diarrhea,
You had guts to come up here but my punchlines got your stomach runnin', that's a bloody acid burn that you're feelin' on the rear,
I'm the reason you should fear ever settin' foot near battle rap ever, am I crystal clear?
Let me put in terms you comprehend, my bars are like bullets from a pistol, y'hear?
It's abysmal the way I lay you to waste and the waste's clogged up, why's the diarrhea not flowin' well with the cistern? Here, let me put a plunger on your mouth, that's better for us all, shut the fuck up and keep it in your system, malfunction get a seizure,
Why're you measurin' manhood when you don't even register on the meter?
You're a noone, take the big L, lick my anus, you aint famous, people had to Google who the fuck you was 'fore reading this, see ya.