Advising is Becoming a Burden, Not a Boon
In earlier times, advice carried weight because it came from people who were close to us and understood our context—mainly parents, teachers, and elders. Today, however, advising has become a public sport. It seems like everyone has something to say, some recommendation to give, some lesson to preach. What used to be an intimate act of guidance is now a loud, repetitive noise that follows us everywhere we go—at school, at home, on social media, and even during casual conversations.
The meaning of advice, in essence, is to pass on experience. In theory, this sounds helpful and even noble. But in practice, especially in today's environment, it has grown excessive and intrusive. Rather than helping individuals grow, advising now often limits personal freedom, burdens mental health, and discourages the natural process of learning through trial and error. The explosion of advice, both online and offline, has diluted its value and made it feel heavy and even irritating.
One of the most visible problems with over-advising is that it pretends to be empowering while actually creating dependency. When someone is constantly told what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and why they should do it, they begin to doubt their own instincts. They begin to silence their own ideas and defer to the "experts" in their life, whether that’s a parent, a relative, a friend, or even a stranger on YouTube. Slowly, a person stops thinking critically and instead waits for others to give instructions. This pattern becomes dangerous over time because it leaves the individual unprepared for unpredictable or complex situations where quick thinking and creativity are required. They freeze under pressure not because they are incapable, but because they were never given the chance to think independently. That opportunity was stolen from them by the overbearing presence of advice.
Mistakes, though painful, are necessary for growth. They are the foundation of creativity, problem-solving, and innovation. Some of the most important inventions and discoveries in human history were born from trial, error, and failure. Yet advice often aims to prevent mistakes. This sounds logical at first—who wouldn’t want to avoid failure? But the reality is that in trying to skip over the learning curve, advising robs people of the most essential part of growth. It replaces hands-on experience with second-hand stories. Instead of building resilience, it builds fear of failure. This fear then becomes a mental wall, one that blocks experimentation and curiosity.
The overuse of motivational advice is another key issue. Motivation is useful when it acts as a spark—something small and intense that gets us started. But when it is treated like fuel that must be consumed regularly just to keep functioning, it becomes toxic. The human brain is not designed to run on constant highs. The more we depend on motivational speeches, quotes, or pep talks, the more we crash when the effects wear off. This creates a cycle of dependency, where people look for the next hit of motivation just to get through the day. It leads to burnout, confusion, and disappointment.
In places like India, this problem is even more intense. Cultural norms emphasize competition and academic success as the ultimate goals. Parents, neighbors, teachers, and even distant relatives see it as their duty to offer advice—most of it about studying, working hard, and avoiding distractions. You hear phrases like “Study for 12 hours a day if you want to succeed” or “You can enjoy life after you’re settled in a job.” But what does "settled" even mean in today’s fast-changing world? And what is the cost of sacrificing the present for a future that may never come? Many young people, crushed under the pressure of continuous advice, feel lost and overworked. They are told to ignore their emotions, skip social connections, and push through exhaustion. Unsurprisingly, rates of anxiety, depression, and early burnout are rising rapidly.
People might argue that advice is well-intentioned. And it often is. But good intentions do not always lead to good outcomes. An over-advised society becomes one that no longer trusts itself. It becomes one where creativity dies young, where risks are seen as threats, and where people follow templates instead of dreams.
There is another subtle effect of too much advising: it leads to conformity. When everyone listens to the same advice, they start behaving the same way. They choose the same career paths, set the same goals, and even define happiness in the same terms. Individual talents, passions, and curiosities are lost in this process. Originality becomes rare because it is never encouraged. From childhood, people are told what is "safe," what is "smart," and what is "respectable." Rarely are they asked what makes them feel alive or what excites their mind. As a result, we lose artists, thinkers, and inventors to the fear-based logic of "practical advice."
Furthermore, we live in an age where the volume of advice has exploded due to digital media. Social platforms are filled with influencers offering tips on success, relationships, productivity, diet, and everything in between. Some of them are sincere. But many are just repeating what they heard from others, without understanding or experience. The danger here is that bad advice can spread just as fast as good advice. And people, overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of voices, can’t always tell the difference.
Even within friendships, the line between support and unsolicited advice is often crossed. Instead of listening and empathizing, friends jump into "fix-it mode" and start offering advice the moment you share a problem. This behavior, although often rooted in care, ends up making the person feel judged or unheard. The message is not “I understand you,” but “You’re doing it wrong, and here’s how to fix it.” This dynamic can harm relationships and discourage honest conversations.
It is important to clarify that not all advice is harmful. There are moments in life when we truly need guidance—especially when we lack experience or when someone else has lived through a similar situation and can share lessons. But this kind of advice should be invited, not imposed. It should come with humility, not authority. And it should leave room for personal choice, not erase it.
A balanced approach is essential. What we need is less advising and more listening. Less preaching and more patience. Let people make mistakes, learn, recover, and grow. Let them ask for help when they need it, instead of forcing it on them. Let motivation be a spark, not a daily addiction. Let originality breathe by reducing the noise of constant recommendations.
The truth is, the human mind thrives on exploration, failure, and recovery. Advice, when overused, becomes a cage disguised as a gift. To truly help others grow, sometimes the best thing we can do is to step back, be quiet, and let them walk their own path—even if it’s messy, slow, or different from what we imagined.
Only then will they become strong, creative, and independent. And only then will advice regain its original purpose—not as a burden, but as a blessing.
it's three for a reason. next time think about it
This is a two round debate
how can I end up this sht, I drop out, you forfeited, if you make an argumnt I won't answer it. for me it's case closed
didn't you forget to answer, did you?
I'm trying to build a great argument, but you're so right on the kind of advices that we hear nowadays, AND THIS IN FACT FOR ME WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT TO BUILD A REASONED ARGUMENT. And I'm so happy of this honestly