I have spent lot of years mainly figuring out what myself and this reality is all about.

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the hypothesis hypothesis

I have spent lot of years mainly figuring out what myself and this reality is all about. I've questioned everything I thought I knew about myself and reality. By doing so I constantly became more and more clear about my own conditioning and belief-systems. I saw that every belief I had was just that: a belief that I had taken for granted but that had actually nothing to do with the truth. In fact I've come to see that every belief I had was like a filter in front of truth. Truth isn't something mind can grasp, it's actually the very opposite, everything mind thinks it understands actually takes it that much further from the truth.

So I was questioning everything about reality and saw that eventually even the concept of material universe was just a hypothesis. All we can know for certain is our experience and the phenomenon it contains. Everything outside our experience is hypothesis, even the concrete nature of the universe.
But even more than that I figured out my own ego and belief systems I had about myself as a person. That seemed more relevant at the time. I was always puzzled by the idea that my past life dictates who I am. That would mean that if I were to born in completely different circumstances I would became a completely different person. I could never buy that, I felt that essentially I should be the same regardless of the circumstances. Difference is only in the accumulated beliefs and conditioning and I thought if I could get past those I would find my true core being.

So I continued to go deeper into myself and then in one ordinary day when I was sitting in a car and figuring these things as usual something happened. I suddenly felt total freedom, my issues with self esteem and self-confidence were suddenly gone, it felt instantly like there is no going back. It wasn't like I got suddenly perfect self-esteem and confidence, but experimentally those two words lost their meaning completely. All the subconscious stress about how I have to perform in life etc. were gone instantly, I felt I was free from all the concepts. I see the reason for that to happen was that my mind didn't anymore identify with any of those thoughts that made me a person of certain kind and that also ultimately made me uncertain about myself. My self esteem and feeling about myself was gradually getting better while in the middle of this process but that milestone was something I didn't anticipate.

And what does this story of my life have to do with free will? It is because how I experience it has changed from what it used to be. Before when I fully identified with my past and thought I knew what kind of person I am based on that, I had a sense of "free will" because I identified with the conditioning from which basis the choices are made. I identified myself as the maker of those choices. That event somewhat changed my identity from the doer to the witness, or to be clearer it kind of contains both aspects simultaneously now. So in my experience "I" don't have that identity as a clear cut entity that makes the choices anymore. I am more anchored in the present moment were there are no choices to be made, nor is there a maker of those choices.

Things just flow naturally and events follow each other. Of course there still seems to be this person who "chooses" to write this post, but it is like in the flower example: does a flower choose to bloom or is it just the flow of life that happens naturally?

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Yes, I always held belief that people shouldnt think, or at least should just make decisions with instinct (first desire that appears in your mind, just go with it, dont think further).

That would mean that if I were to born in completely different circumstances I would became a completely different person. I could never buy that, I felt that essentially I should be the same regardless of the circumstances.
I think my mind is too great to be affected by any circumstance, except maybe if I grew up around people who gave me compliments. That would probably change me a bit, but not by much.
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@Best.Korea
I think my mind is too great to be affected by any circumstance,

that is a very interesting self-conception,

does this mean you never learn anything ?
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@3RU7AL
does this mean you never learn anything ?
I learn a lot, but my goals didnt really change, ever.

I still have same goals that I had when I was 4.

Maybe planning changed a bit, but my goals remained same.
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@Best.Korea
I learn a lot, but my goals didnt really change, ever.

let me guess, is it "world domination" ?
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@3RU7AL
let me guess, is it "world domination" ?
Yeah, I always wanted to have everyone obey me, and to plant my ideas in their heads directly or indirectly, and to be strong and defeat all enemies.

I realized that nothing I learned has ever changed my core goals.

If some fact appears which tells me that I am wrong in my goals, I just ignore it or ignore it until I think of some counter to it.
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@3RU7AL
One thinks, that one thinks that.


I'm doubtful that there is an alternative,


But certain that there is variety.


One just needs to think about it,


Reorganize one's internal database,


Thereby adding to it,


And modifying it.


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@3RU7AL
Are you an atheist?
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@3RU7AL
I simply see this:

There is me and there is what is not me.

I try to focus on what is not me.
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@Mall
Are you an atheist?

deist monist taoist
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@MAV99
I try to focus on what is not me.
how can you not be simply the product of your biology and environment ?
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@zedvictor4
I'm doubtful that there is an alternative,
agreed
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@3RU7AL
It figures.
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@3RU7AL
how can you not be simply the product of your biology and environment ?
Are you saying I am the same as was what is not me? What are you trying to ask here?
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@MAV99
Are you saying I am the same as was what is not me? What are you trying to ask here?
you are the sum of your influences
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@3RU7AL
Define "influences"
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@MAV99
Define "influences"
I mean the single entirety, or total, or whole, of that which the reader has in their conscious and unconscious mind and body in any sense.
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@3RU7AL
People search in the dark for something thought not to be there in the light. Some elusive or illusive meaning that doesn't exist. We either distinguish an examination of ourselves as a product of our environment from that elusive search or form an ideology which rejects it from ignorance. It passes the time.
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@3RU7AL
I mean the single entirety, or total, or whole, of that which the reader has in their conscious and unconscious mind and body in any sense.
So basically...

Am I that which consists wholly of my conscience and unconscience mind and body regardless of which sense we are speaking?

Here is the problem with that: It excludes the fundamental aspect that makes us human, namely the soul.

Let me make my philosophy clear:

I am a rational animal. By rational I mean I have the ability to reason coming from my power to know something intellectually. My soul, the principle of my life, is the thing by which I know (and also love). By animal I mean I have a body with sensation, respiration, digestion, sensitive cognition, reproduction, etc.

I am body and soul

I have a free will.

To gain knowledge I start with my senses, literally, and then use my reason from there. My memory and imagination have their parts to play. My brain is an organ, It is only a step to understanding knowledge.

So no, I am not the sum total of my influences. Unless you want to change your definition of influences to the principle causes of all being. Namely: Formal material, efficient, and final.


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@MAV99
I have a free will.
Now there's a can of worms.

I am body and soul.
Maybe


And if we knew

The principle causes of all being.
We could discuss the weather instead.



2024 or whatever, and the current sum total of all Earthly knowledge, is exactly what it is.





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@MAV99
Here is the problem with that: It excludes the fundamental aspect that makes us human, namely the soul.
my car and my dog also have a soul

prove me wrong if you can
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@MAV99
I have a free will.
the only logical way for your will to be free from the universal causal chain

is for it to be randomly generated



do you believe your motives are randomly generated ?
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@3RU7AL
my car and my dog also have a soul

prove me wrong if you can

Your car does not have a soul. Is your car living by itself? Does your car feed itself?

Your dog does, but it is not the same type of soul as mine.

I have an intellectual soul that virtually contains a sensitive and vegitative soul.

A dog only has the sensitive soul which virtually contains the vegitative soul.

plants only have a vegitative soul.

What distinguishes me from your dog is that I can reason and have a deeper understanding of things and choose freely whether to love them or not. Your dog cannot do that. It only acts on its instincts. 
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@3RU7AL
the only logical way for your will to be free from the universal causal chain

is for it to be randomly generated



do you believe your motives are randomly generated ?


It is not the only logical way. Your argument comes from a poor understanding of the nature of free will.

When you produce a concept in your soul, you have an appetite that tends toward this concept. This appetite is free as regards whether or not it tends towards the concept. It is not determined until the subject of the appetite (namely the person, you ,me, Joe Biden, Trump, whomever) determines whether or not this appetite tends to the concept (thus producing action) or not (in which case there is no action). This explanation of free will gives rise tot he definition of free will as: The Intellectual appetite.

Intellectual: implying it tends towards the concept.
Appetite: implying there is a tendency.

Common sense shows us the appetite is free.
  
If it is not free, what is the point of judicial systems, court rooms, laws, punishment, prison? Why do we imply we have responsebilities? Why do we have law enforcement?

It is a bad philosophy to deny common sense. You are setting yourself up for failure.

My choices are not randomly generated. They are chosen freely.
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@MAV99
Your car does not have a soul. Is your car living by itself? Does your car feed itself?
so now souls require food ?
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@MAV99
Your dog does, but it is not the same type of soul as mine.
how do you know this ?
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@MAV99
What distinguishes me from your dog is that I can reason and have a deeper understanding of things and choose freely whether to love them or not. Your dog cannot do that. It only acts on its instincts. 
i think you're conflating a prefrontal cortex with what you're calling a soul
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@MAV99
When you produce a concept in your soul, you have an appetite that tends toward this concept.
so, does your soul get pregnant and then spontaneously births a "concept" ?

it sounds like this is still part of the universal causal chain

does god touch your soul to produce a "concept" ?

does your mind initiate this process ?
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@MAV99
It is a bad philosophy to deny common sense.
it is a bad philosophy to choose colloquial explanations over logical explanations
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@3RU7AL
so now souls require food ?

You remember what I said above what the soul is? My soul, the principle of my life. Comment number 19.

That means any activity of my life, including nutrition of my body, is actuated by my soul.
So no. I am clearly not talking about souls needing food.


how do you know this ?
Remember what I said about the soul? The principle of life. That also means that how we live is determined by our soul. Does a dog live? Yes, so it has a soul.Do I live the same way as a dog? No, but am I living? Yes. So I have a soul that is different from the dog.