Total posts: 3,355
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Thats a good way of "teaching " people about these soul things.
In short.... A human body is a soul.
Very nice indeed.
The man at the front of the church told me once that .
That was not my grandfather in the coffin, that was simply his shell.
Sold.
He got me.
Its fucking beautiful.
Fales of course
But beautiful.
Very well played indeed
Good game.
Good game.
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I'm not saying the christians are like some kinda " gang " of sorts
Im just saying.
Well.
Im just saying It ( feels ) like you guys are a gang. .
It feels like
A million christians lined up beside the road and me. Im in position 317,870th
The Bus starts driving .
It gets to me and fucking under i go.
In a order of trustworthiness
It goes a million christians then me.
You guys are overwhelm me.
' Starts fanning face '
You Christians are makeing me uncomfortable.
Thats allllll i am saying.
' starts slowly jogging away '
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Another great way to read the bible . ( Especially for beginners )
Is Bible study group and pizza Night.
The reason for this being a great way to read the bible isssssssssss.
☆♡☆♡☆♡ CHRISTIANS ONLY HANG AROUND JUST CHRISTIANS ♡☆♡☆♡☆
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••FULL STOP••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
soooooo
A bib stu sleepover piz night provides this service.
i mean. Me personally. ..
I'm totally fine and happy for the christians to only like hanging out with just the christians.
They obviously love one another.
Us rat bastard atheists don't hang around just rat bastard atheists.. NEVER.
But again. I'm happy for you guys.
To the Christians !
For they are a truly a betterer "group" then a dozen atheist.
WANKERS
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Hehe.
I suggested to a chick / good mate a few months ago that it would be a lot more difficult touching kids these days.
Then before i could go into deeper explanations why.
Powwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I was struck.
I had a black eye for three days.
This was the same person that i said .
Men that are like 40 years old and have never hit or hurt a women deserve a trophy. Or some kind of reward.
That time i seen the punch coming from a mile away.
I waxed off.
But ummm yeah ,
apparently 40 years and never ummm, physically hurt a women aint shit.
Its almost like people think it should be easy going 40 years and never hitting a women.
STOP Deb .
Stop now.....
' Breaths deep. '
In through the noise
Andddd
Out through the mouth.
Ok ,
Good day Zed.
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@zedvictor4
Zed ,
dont tell anyone else buttttt.
I think I'd be the worst at being a juror.
I don't think, i could not think, that I've found doubt.
If i was in the jury of 50 cases
I'd be not guilty on allllll.
However if someone pleads guilty.
I'd instantly believe them.
I'd also SUCK at being interrogated by the police.
This become blatantly obvious after watching not even five-thousand crime documentaries
Now ten thousand plus crime documentaries into life
I still think I'd be no good.
I highly doubt one can reach the hights of a bishop or a card if they haven't layed a single finger on a kid.
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My eyes open REAL wide and my head moves back
When i think of.
Religious members on a jury
And / or.
Deeply religious jurors.
If you put A minute of thought into ( Deeply religious ) membersof a jury
Up pops a pic of .
A Homosexual being sentenced to life for jaywalking.
When i think of.
Religious members on a jury
And / or.
Deeply religious jurors.
If you put A minute of thought into ( Deeply religious ) membersof a jury
Up pops a pic of .
A Homosexual being sentenced to life for jaywalking.
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I've been trying to think why a church would shut down.
I'll get back to this after.m
☆♤♡◇☆♤♡◇♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧
Picture if you will,
A religious group the same as yours.
Two suburbs away.
Would it run , teach and preach EXACTLY the same as yours ? ( within reason )
I reckon they would be worlds apart.
Now Picture the services available at your church that you are unaware of.
To name just a few. .
Saturday pre-dawn group sex.
Exorcisms sundays 1 am
Rape and torture classes once a month at a time TBA .
Freaky fucked up fridays 2pm
Animal sacrificing Saturday 8 pm.
Kid kicking from noon
The First Monday of the month murders and mayhem
Saturday night Circle jerking.
Fuck my wife mondays at 9pm
Pee.on me weekly. (Time yet TBA )
( i could go on )
But.
Are you fully aware of the depravity that happens in your church?
Orrrrrrrrr.
Your church doesn't do and or offer stuff like that.
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' crouched behind a tuft of grass '
In wait for a racial insult.
It will be something like.
In the dream time , the rainbow serpent.
Or
You do kangaroos deb.
Wait for it.
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@zedvictor4
Unfortunately you being from wales and me being aussie.
We will need an interpreter.
I cant speak Wales.
I will be like.
Say again.
Say again
Once more.
Slower.
And boooooom goes the dynamite.
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@Stephen
But surely the bible has 25th century logic.
Even 3oth cent log.
Its the most important book ever.
The bible was ummmm inspired by frigging God.
God knows exactly what happens in the year 3410.
The bible got did
I mean .
The bible was done with things that occur in the year 2287 IN MIND.
GOD didn't do a bible with only knowing as far as the year 600.
If god did the bible with know foresight
I may currently be smarter then God.
Thank you.
Thanks.
The bible would be wayyyyyyy awsome if it had more " Nostradamus " like qualities.
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a NAM.
A new age movment.
One has to assume that males and females are lets say ummmm.
Equal.
That ain't gonna work is it. ?
No but.
Imagine one of these NAM's that has men being treated like female Muslims. And females rule the roost
I'm not saying id join buttttttt.
I'd stop in for a look.
Imagine if the females spit on the males as they entered the " church "
That would be like sooooo gross.
mmmmmmmmm.
I forgot where i was going with that now.
I think just had a NAM.
Continue.
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@zedvictor4
No I was being vulgar zed.
You know how people smoke after sex.
It was just a split second thing that come into my mind when i saw it the other day.
Ive put ya address in my tractors ( nave navaga ) fuckkk.
Nav a gator You know the fuck8ng word I'm trying to say.
And im heading over.
Rabbit speed.
Orrrr
Maybe i should tell you i coming over your house separate from telling about kids have sex with chickens.
Yeah thats what ill do.
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As soon as the numbers of christians drops one less then the Muslims.
You can mark us atheists down as Christians.
You guys can call us whatever ya want. We'll play along.
But just note .
we will be christians that don't believe in Gods and do nothing 100% according to (one) group of Christians.
although some may i mean might.
Thats all.
This is to be implemented only and as soon as 1 more Muslim then christian exists
YOU ARE WELCOME..
My dog has been a Christian for over 4 years now.
How you say?
Cause i fucking said it.
Bom. me dogs a Christian.
Then as soon as you guys have finished counting us atheists as Christians.
Let us know so we can go back to being atheists.
Real fucking sneaky like.
Again
U R Welcome.
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Imagine a teenager these days having questions or issues with something in life,
Would they?
( A ) Go to Dads top drawer and grab the good old ( HOLY BIBLE ) out for options and answers
Or perhaps.
( B ) a ( NAM. ) some new age movment. Maybe With like a Steampunk feel to it.
Orrŕrrrrr
( C ) ( Google it )
Correct...
In google we trust.
○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•
Oh fuck no.
HOWEVER.
The correct answer to the above would be.
Not A
Not B
Nor C
If a teenager has any problems or issues in life ,
They should.
( D ) Talk to their parents.
Andddddd. Truth be told I think the bible may "point " " allude " to this.
You know. ( love your parents ) scriptures.
I'm just gonna shut up now.
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@Tradesecret
Nice post.
buttttttt.
It is worthy of taking into consideration tho,
That being the very very low attendance rate. Into "life" going " the same ".
Trade .
A total hypo
If no one attended a church service ever again.
Do you think , " life " would " run " the same for ( everyone apart from the christians ) as it does when millions attend .?
Would life be " normal going " for christians.
Apart from church related activities aspect of it.
Within reason. ?
We won't ever witness god reacting negatively or positively to anything we humans ever do in life hey ?
A couple of thousand years ago, god use to mess with us humans for the crap we did that he didn't " approve of .
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@zedvictor4
The other day When i seen that picture again for the first time in 5 or so years.
I see it and straight away. I thought,
Who cum first?
The chicken or the kid.
To wich the answer you'd think is ( the kid ) because he is having a smoke.
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Actually
But if you guys don't go to church.
You won't give the jesus god his weekly allowance.
Church is a great place to collect jesus's weekly allowance.
Orrrrr
Perhaps jesus doesn't need cash.
Ha,
Ha,Ha
He, He, He.
Just kidding guys,
jesus needs that money you lot give to him.
And i bet he really appreciates it.
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A couple of years ago when covid kept people from going to church.
There would of been a few months there when next to no one went to a church. ( worldwide )
In mass numbers.
What i am trying to say is.
Nobody going to church for months.
Felt exactly like
Every body going to church.
I mean.
There was no difference.
It was Just normal.
Sooooooo
Perhaps God doesn't need us to meet up at the clubhouse.
Or now get this .
Perhaps you can do what you do at church in like a bookstore or a Macdonalds.
By yourself.
There were so many people's not attending churches , that god might not of even heard you guys collectively singing to him.
Anddddddd , life still went on exactly like when you guys all sing to him.
Again its only a maybe.
Butttt.
Maybe gods ok with you guys not singing to him. ( its just a thought )
I bet if not one single person attended church ever again .
Life would stilll ummm, roll the same as if everyone was still showing up at church.
It would be a great experiment for you theists to do.
If you could alllllll stop dealing with god for like a month.
See what happens.
I've a feeling it wouldn't change a single thing.
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Its scientifically proven that holding a bible in one hand and swearing to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth doesn't work at all.
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@Sir.Lancelot
Can't read.
Can't write.
But i can drive a tractor alright.
I would totally destroy you and Stephen in operating farming machinery.
No but.
Imagine a church being closed..
What do you think the top 2 reasons why a church would shut down. ?
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Imagine Commiting a crime and not getting busted.
Thanks god.
If you murder someone and get away with it.
Does God still dish out the same punishment. ( after death )
Obviously hey.
Does god have a say in , if you get caught or not ?
Because being jailed for 40 years before you die and start your eternity in hell punishment.
Differs greatly to
Getting away with murder not going to jail and when you die you start your eternity in hell sentence.
It almost feels like god can't "directly" effect my life.
Can he?
Because one is able to "get away" with murder. Makes believing in god ummmm , harder.
I think.
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Me....
An Apache helicopter.
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Carrot cake.
They would of had chocolate, they would of had strawberry.
But some mutha fuckng genus seen carrots ( some perhaps where going to waste )
Now Ya wouldn't make a cake with carrots. Carrots and cake. NO WAY
So you see carrots but cake has nothong to do with it.
Years would pass with plain vanilla and chocolate . But still no carrot cake.
Then some how some where shit aligned.
A bloke looked to the left and seen a pile of carrots and thought , i can probably make a cake out of them .
And a BAMMMMMMMMMMMMM would of been heard far and wide.....
Thus Creating a
BCC = before carrot cake.
NCC = now carrot cake.
If you will.
In the carrot cake continuum
Now ( Dont say with leftovers you make a cake type dish ) as i think this is how carrot cake come s to be. And it ruins the thought of a brilliant man inventing something as truly brilliant as carrot cake.
But ummmmm.
To carrot cake.
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Wtf.
I just got lost in the preachings of Mick Williams for well over thirty minutes.
He was like .
Well
He was like talking to me man.
Ill be ok but hey ?
I feel normal.
Checks the book of atheists.
Are atheists allowed to listen to preachings of the gospal for nearly a whole hour ?
Yes.
WOW, lucky.
What do you reckon Michael Williams cost for a service.
Over 10k hey?
25k. No way orrr way?
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@n8nrgim
What about according to the Cops ?
In a court of law.
No but you bring this up alot hey ?
This killing others for no business thing.
Nate.
Could you ummm.
Pop ya mom on the computer for a quick second pal.
I promise to respect mom.
Just put her on for a second please mate .
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If you said .
Well , He may get you to reconsider your foolish notion.
Ya insta blocked.
AND now that songs in me head.
You fuckin bastard
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Is faith like what i have in my car tires to keep inflated whilst driving.
Im thinking about asking George Michael what faith is.
Any guesses on what he m8ght say. ?
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@Stephen
So Now we both know this.
In you best corny deep as voice. Say loudly. Like a ( god )
' He shall not '
Or
' oh he shalt not .
Say it Hen
Eat from it.
Tho shall not Eateth from the ye old oak tree of knowledge.
No but
The bible does not cotain a easy to understand straightforward bit .
Followed by a
Easy to understand straightforward bit.
Thus brining us back to the OP
'A black gospel choir starts real softly ' singing .
F
A
I
T
H
Can i get a little
F
A
and it gets louder and louder.
Next thing ya know you are in a what ya can best describe as a trance.
And faith is back bay bay.
Ya feel it in your fingers.
mmmmmm faith.
Thats me faith thing i have hey.
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@zedvictor4
Yeah but .
No but.
One thing is for certain.
Im not going to google cunningual abortive therapy.
Thats not really a thing.
Cat.
Anddddd. Porn hub.
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If A Belief in god bettered people.
I'd believe in a half a dozen of em or so.
At least.
I would be so bettered.
Faith in one religion = so.so.
Faiths in many = mega- faithful , faiths full more faith .
Then I'll start having faith in things that don't need " faith " in em.
( The number of people that believe in just one religion as to four would be interesting. )
1 to 1000 at least.
Imagine if the first commandment was.
Believe in me and approximately 4 or 5 other gods that you like.
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Can you " perform " an abortion on someone thats not pregnant. ?
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@YouFound_Lxam
Can you tell me anything about this fountain of youth.
An elixir of life maybe.
These aint god stories are they ?
Well they are butt they aint.
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A ( tree of moral consequences ) was probably already taken.
Anddddd
A ( tree of good and bad ) definitely would of already been in use.
I bet if you climb to the very top of the tree of knowledge you could see the fountain of youth just over yonder.
But thats a totally diff post.
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@YouFound_Lxam
Stephen is sooooooo hard to understand some times.
See i also thought he asked , why do they call the tree of knowledge the tree of knowledge?
But after reading it again ,
I think what he is trying to ask you is.
Did god say.
A,,,,,, Eat from the tree of knowledge.
Orrr
B,,,,,,, Do not eat from the tree of knowledge.
Maybe Tick a box is more to your liking?
□ for ( A )
Or
□ for ( B )
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Instead of asking why you blocked me.
I'm a guess.
You blocked me because, ,,,,,,,,,,,, your a blocker.
You come from a long line of blockers.
What would a block function in real life look like.
And if someone you blocked ( in real life ) tried talking to you.
Imagine if real life blocking were like this.
You can say anything you want but you just cant look at em
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Its the help Center thing at the bottom hey?
Thats my guess.
NO one has clicked on them things at the bottom.
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How do you block someone ?
I'm sure i could probably find it but.
I haven't tagged yet.
I done used The edit function.
Id only block someone if they hurt my feelings.
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My "faith" thing doesn't work as is subscribed in the above.
Do you reckon we could change the word faith.
Orrrr
What is faith in ten words.
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Im picturing zed not being a bot but still struggling trying to click all the boxes with a bus in it.
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@Stephen
Shortly after posting this i seen you aswer a post with a perfect religious angle and zed pop up with another truly brilliant just telling like it is post. To wich you can't argue
Then im not kidding
Another post diff subject you then him.
The zed guy Hen ,
He sure is smart but hey ?
He says things like he doesn't even need to think about it.
Hold the fucking phone.
People that have that " next level of smarts" as you two seem to do are usually.
Some type of
Rude , crude obnoxious full time pigs . Brother D like esk , assertive , fucking annoying know it al SOB
You two however are the finest cool headed never rant , i cant spell curtios , Level headed.
Fine arsed gentleman.
Top man material.
What i am saying is you guys are the complete opposite.
You two are the nicest guys on site and the smartest.
' Alarm triggerd ' that actually happened 3 mins ago.
The milks sour.
And we alllll know that if the milk sour.
We aint the kinda pussies to drink it.
WARNING WARNING WARNING
You two are fucking bots.
The pair of you.
A zed bot and a stephan bot.
You have two weeks to prove you are not bots
You will both undertake a number of.
( tick all the boxes with traffic lightc lights test )
Or perhaps a
( click on the pictures with a fire hydrogen test )
We may even have you ..
tick here. □ if you are not a robot.
I'm picturing this as Bot kryptonite.
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@Stephen
I did take the long way of saying you would be the absolute worst religious group member on this site.
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Id say the most popular first time people read a bible would be.
Off ya tits on christ knows what in a motel room with mates.
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Well obviously.
The ultimate way to first read the bible would be EXACTLY how Bastian got and read The Neverending story.
Here at ( ELABORATE SETUPS ). R us
We are offering ( The Neverending story pacage. )
I will not go into how we have someone you Know run into a old warehouse whith a backpack containing a bible and sandwiches
butttttttttt.
Guys just please know ive spent the last two hours thinking about how this can be achieved.
Really i have.
You lot know i have.
You'd never read it a better way. Then TNES way.
P.s His name was Falkor.
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Proveing god exists . And the bible being true or not are un passable points.
Things need to be cleared up before moving on.
So We should just keep saying.
Prove god exists.
Prove god exists.
Prove god exists
And then them not proving it.
This is first and foremost.
Or no hang on , get this.
Atheists should be sat here quietly watching believers trying to prove god exists.
Picture 10 or 20 believers around a black board covered With mathematical equations of all kinds.
A 24 / 7 live stream of( tying to prove god exists ) ,
And every couple of weeks you flick it over to see wich direction they are traveling this week.
What path they are taking..
This week you see they have fruits and vegetables sprawled across a table and you think .
Mmmmmm, This look interesting , where are they going with this.
What a pip.
Oh and.
Any less then 10 theists in the room it is, game over for it is obvious they've given up.
.
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@DavidAZ
Well me mom thinks im totally normal.
Totally.
Normal.
I also collect stamps.
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Screwy would be not noticing 3 or 4 new handles popping up around the same time.
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@DavidAZ
12 posts in.
And I'm as screwy as they come.
Thats a big call man.
Hey David?
Welcome to the forum pal .
Good day.
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Hey Did i happen to mention that i once beat a cat with a stick ?
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