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@Shila
Imagine running a church business.
Like.
Do you pay that extra $ 1000 a week to get a real strong speaking pasta ?
Do you offer someone moneys if they can secure a will ?
It would be handy having a , ( ruthless bloke with no morals working for you. ) finding info on members, checking members credentials, and even landing wealthy members.
I want to interview pastors.
I want to See what bang ya get for ya buck.
Like $1000 a week pastors as compared to a $3000 a week pastor.
There would have to be a dozen $1000 a week pastors $2000, $3000 a week pastors all the way to $100,000 a service pastors.
There has to be Like A dozen $83,000 a week pastors.
A dozen $47,000 a week pastors.
Obviously the don't do for the mere love of a god.
A $500 a week pastor would be toats different then a $15,000.
If you are lucky
You could probably snag like a $10,000 a week pastor for $3500 maybe $4000.
For A extra $100 a week you could get a pastor that's guaranteed not to touch kids inappropriately.
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I want to get a stable of high priced prestigious pastor up and running.
How long would it take ya to Turn a $350 a week pastor into like a $2500 a week one?
Train em up. ( even though they would already have this service ) I'm not going to google it.
PASTORS-R-US.
Or High Priced Prestigious Pastoring .
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I highly doubt it would be a " sign of respect " participating in this, The three week spectacular if you've a foreskin.
There are many many ways one can pay homage to god. But allllllllll of this comes to nil , if as above. ( You've a foreskin )
So ummm yeah. ' kicks dirt '
BE AWARE OF THIS FACT before you put yourself out in any way shape or form for god.
Foreskin = NO heaven.
I mean.
You don't go to heaven if you have a foreskin.
How can you enter heaven if ya dont
' cue drums '
Stand still laddy!
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rosends would reply if someone can just turn his computer on for him.
Why ?
Ritual.
Good old sensible and totaly practical ritual does not allow this.
On the other hand.
The whole fasting and not using electricity and shit.
I can only see it doing something good.
There is NO negative to the very limited fasting
And not being able to use electricity for the very limited time has NO negative. ( i don't think. ) i haven't put to much thought into the ill effects of not being able to use electronics for a half a day or however long they do it.
Picture a jewish person flicking a light switch on when they shouldn't be.
I can picture them using like a towel to flick the switch. Or a solid rubber stick.
I bet there is a lot of " half arsed " ritual doers.
Oh and bacon.
The whole not partaking in the eating of the piggies and seafood and all the other non kosher stuff..
I haven't had time to do the studies yet .
But one can only assume.
Not eating bacon is extremely harmful for you and may cause instant death .
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Christians fucking LLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE, ( Deciphering scriptures ) ( translating )
They wish for more verses.
They try,
i mean use. Many diff versions of the good book to accommodate this.
Never will you meet a Christian that is " Just Average " at.
They alllllllllllll excel.
We've currently one billion theists in the ( TOP 1000 OF ALLLLL TIME ) at script trans.
With 750,000 theists in the ( TOP 100 OF ALLLLL TIME ) at scrip tran
Doing that book that the god thing did for us in a " scripture " like format was without a doubt, Absolutely brilliant.
Very well played.
And a
WARNING WARNING WARNING.
A quick reminder PGee.
You said / talked about the ( OT )
Religious forum unwritten rules
# 18...... One must not speak, bring up and or make mention of the ( OT ) End of story.
Shhhh.
Good game.
Good game.
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When ya die there will be a bloke with a list.
#462 . How many fasts did you participate in ?
Answering this with ( nil ) does not at all help your chances of living out the rest of your life.
Thats like your life after your death.
How many points do you get for fasting?
Im thinking like ( helping 3 old ladies across a street ) = ( one skip a meal for god. ) thats approximately.
Approx.
?
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God lovesssssssssss when you skip a meal or two for him.
Take 6 seconds to have that seap in.
5
And a 4.
And 3
And 2
And a 1.
Mmm , Yeah.
Picture him looking over us and seeing a bunch of us not eating for him.
Picture it.
( rubbing his six nipples saying from side to side real slow like. )
Its.
Well its silly isn't it ?
At the least it is odd.
Its Odd for a god.
' snickles '
I highly doubt a god thing wants from us.
I can't see it.
Maybe I'm not that good enough.
Maybe my belief glands have not fully developed.
My mom did drop me a few times.
I am going to skip breakfast today for god.
Amen.
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Allllll these "facts" ummmm , found through science go into a book.
The difference of books.
So it will be like a book with all different peoples adding to it.
The difference in peoples.
What if Matthew Mark Luke and John stated so called scientific facts ?
I forgot what i was trying to get at now.
Imagine if " studies " in science didn't do a book.
Picture a couple of dozen people a day around the world figuring out Energy equals Mass times the speed of light squared.
Every sickness is new.
Wowzers . Thats deep.
It couldn't work like that but.
It is however extremely fun to think about.
Thank god for science books.
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@zedvictor4
I never here the christians praising the lord, i mean god for doing a book for em.
If i was a Christian that would be my 100% proof for gods existence
It's an amazing thing.
Its great.
Yet the christians don't mention it nearly enough.
They are like.
Yeah god did that book so what.
But.
But.
It isn't amazing to them. It's like a given.
Unless there is a prayer that i haven't heard of and it starts like this.
Dear heavenly father, firstly we like to thank you the muchly for doing a book for us.
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I recon gods whom didn't get guys to write books for them would not like the ones whom did.
It's just an assumption.
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Correct. God is great.
It's the book thing he did for us.
If god never got a bunch of guys to write shlt down for him , we would know nothing. Or very little.
Very well played.
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Before one gets into the Contradictions in religious texts , one must have a rough picture on how this book we are going to pick apart come to be.
So with the koran book one that was ..
Now stop me if im wrong.
That book was verbally put to Muhammed from the god thing through a angle.
Soooooo lets quickly run the numbers on this , thats through a god
I mean
From a god then though a angle.
I'm stumped.
Look I dont have a calculator nearby.
Any idea on what ( From a god ) + ( throug a angle ) = ?
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Who would win a " Prophet off "
Muhammad or jesus ?
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@rayhan16
The prophet Muhammad formally known as muhammad.
Apparently he was like a really really nice guy.
He was just ace.
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Arrrrrrr scripture.
Ya wouldn't have a god speak anything but.
Abraham got given some funny writings from a god thing. as did L Ron , and alllllllllll the ones in between
Very well played.
Very well played indeed.
Its safe to say.
A True and Important " main " god, gets a bunch guys, to write shlt down for him.
Full fuking stop.
Its a fact.
I dont even bother talknig about the 2nd rate , non do a book gods. I know nothing about em .
God wouldn't NOT do a book now would he. ?
No.
Of course a mighty powerful being does a little book book.
Yet you never hear the christians thanking there lucky stars that there god did a book for them.
If i was a Christian i would be still blown away by this fact.
Id use the bible as 100% proof that a god thing really does exist. ( not out loud but. )
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@Intelligence_06
What about like. The Freaky bible verses ?
Like the ( up there baldy ) verse.
A 2 kings verse. This verse does not contradict, it just .
Well it just is straight out odd.
These blokes.
The Matty, mark, paul and the rest of the gang,
You have to think they were sometimes taking dictations not having a clue what ummmmm " they were writing.
Possessed if you will.
Some of it must have been hard to hand in to the , lets say, the bloke who decided what went in it.
Picture them going over what they for some reason felt compelled to write down.
I mean what they had to write down.
I mean what they were willed inspired to write down
They'd be all like .
WTF.
Do you reckon matt mark and co felt positively confident, that what they wrote down was word for word what the god thing wanted them to write down.
100% conference , word for word.
Imagine God picking / choosing you to be one of the writer downers of the freaky sounding sentences.
Like Back in the day.
Ok one more thing to imagine.
Picture god asking Cecile to write shit down for him and Cecile replying with.
Sorry god i can not do the reading writing thing you speak of.
God would just move on to the next person not even responding to Cecile's comment.
Ok one more.
Picture god then asking Derrick to write some shlt down for him.
And Derrick replys with ' I am so sorry god but i can not right or reed.
And god simply leaving it at that.
Now picture god getting to Matthew.
And he goes .
He goes.
Hey Matthew .
Matthew says yes god .
God goes.
Write this down for me.
Matthew replys with.
Ahhhhh , sorry god . I cant read or write. ( It was a different Matthew.)
God swears real loud and moves on to the next human.
MALE HUMAN. A dozen or so guys later.
God comes across his first writing reader.
Unfortunately his name is Keith.
Keith then goes on to write down 4 peter verses, one matthew verse and a couple of Lukes.
Sooooooo.
Keith writing 4 peters a matf and a luke is somewhat of a
Con tra dick shun.
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@Stephen
It is not very ummm, " God like " having to make shlt like that.
A mere 2nd year wizard should be able to do a human much more efficient then that.
Even a stage 3 reiki attuned witch could.
Its almost like he works in mysterious ways
This "cloning / growing " of the humans happened late in the afternoon on ( day 5 ) of the ( 6 day ) building of the " EVERYTHING
Its like proof of evolution In a day.
Well proof of Microevolution.
Id like to now take 8 seconds of deep thought into god making 180,000 different species of caterpillars.
Do ya reckon he knew what they would turn into?
Brining us too.
( God created the universe in 6 days and rested on the seventh ( sabbath ) )
Sooooooo
What is this umm " 6 day " thing the bible talks about ?
It almost sounds like god started making the universe on a Monday and finished Saturday ( aka ) 6 days.
One day being like 24 hours.
It sounds completely self explanatory and just when you can start to grasp that " FACT " you realize that Adam died when he was like what?
930 years old.
Thus causing ones brain to explode and make a funny noise.
With figures like these
When God puts the universe at no more the 10,000 years old . ( 6000 to be more precise ) he is spot on.
Becauseeeeeeeeee. ... 6000 years old back then means 14 . 5 Billion years old.
Or something like that.
The christians aint the most specific when it comes dates / times and well numbers in general.
Specific
Ha.
Spacific.
Pacific .
Look i don't know what i am trying to get at now.
Did god build the universe in six days ?
Six days being / meaning ,
6 times 24 hours. ?
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Blood type A
+
Blood type B
+
Blood type AB
+
Blood type O
= 4 types of blood.
INTO.
1 Adam
+
1 Eve
= 2 peoples
4 blood types.
2 people.
Hang on a sec.
That doesn't add up right?
It would be interesting knowing what blood type adam was.
And why God choose the type he did for him and her.
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I like how one is "ALLOWED" to lose their gun / guns.
Or
People are "ALLOWED" to have their gun / guns stolen from them. .
This fact surly comes in handy.
Soooooooooo
The stats for gun thefts.would be interesting.
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Picture ebuc sitting in the corner and not knowing what to say to him.
Fuking Tense .
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Its not like anyone of us will be sleeping with brutal being uder the same roof.
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When poly talks we can pretend we can't hear her because she banned us alllllll.
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We can wait for brother D to fall asleep ansd shave him.
Imagine brother D and miss trade in a closet for 3 whole minutes.
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Hey my mom says i can invite you guys over for a sleepover.
Well.
As long as your parents talk to my parents about it first.
We can stay up late and shit.
We can play, account swaps.
Where we POST A POST UNDER ANOTHER USERS ACCOUNT Making them sound really really stupid like.
Its just a thought.
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When i seen ( last post 2 days ago ) it blew me mind a little.
Then day 3 hit .
I was soooooooo tempted to post.
But i fort nah.
Then it happened. ... ( Last post 4 days ago )
Thus causing my Brain to explode.
Which almost lead me to.
Almost going under the impression that ... SOMEONE MUST HAVE SOLVED IT.
Like got to the end of the game .... RELIGIONS 2022 edition.
I was about to quit playing.
But Then someone said something about a god and it was back on.
Sooooooooooooooooooo.
We continue.
I say.
' Gods not real '
Then someone says..
Yes he is.
' No '
He is real...
' he is not real '
Is to.
' nope , isn't '
Is.
' no way is god real '
Umm, yes way god is real.
' is not '
Is.
' god is not true '
Is true.
And so on.
Good game.
Good game.
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But
But
The stats. Collecting data.
Imagine 100 plus years of not ummmm, not specifically knowing whom is responsible.
It is sooooooooo difficult not thinking of a persons "sex" when thinking / talking about about "gender" and " genders"
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Whats the most "manly" thing you can think of ?
A manly act.
( Chopping down a tree? ) is so so manly.
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Then.
Giving a false name to the police has to be delt with.
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If ya start losening things up you can identify as an Attack helicopter.
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Thus boiling down to.
The fact that.
One cannot change ones age. This fact halts the " be what ya want to be " thing.
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Males rape females.
Let that sink in
5
4
3
2
1
more so then females rape males.
Alottttttttt more so.
This has to be taken into consideration.
What i am trying to say is. Females don't want man to be able to be known as females.
Actually thats some big implications. Over time.
Maybe females can be " gender nute " . I'm cool with that.
If we let anyone be anyone history stats will blurr. Actually i need to think more about that.
Maybe this gender business does not come into play until you are standing at a piss trough next to a lady.
I suspect Transgender people might not use public toilets. Orrrrrrr the opposite of that.
I'm gonna Pass.
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Oh and can i get 5 seconds of silence in thought of the mind of the man ( one of the original, " MAKER "" UPPER " " ERS " of a group called the christians.
who made jesus " jewish " king jew.
To link them up, and collect a bonus chunk of religious texts to boot was very very smart indeed.
It was soooo smart that even the Muslims had a go at it. Aka prophet jesus.
Acknowledgment of ( Freaky far out stuff. ) then adding stuff that can now enter into the realm of freaky far out stuff.
Very Very smart. ( for getting a group up and running. )
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@rosends
Being jewish would make a great " platform " to mock christians from.
When i think of jewdaisum. i think of the first.
Of course there was religion before but.
The " earlier "the group you are in. The smarter it is.
Well not the smarter.
But ummm.
Its a better argument
Why? Dunno.,
Hey roesbud old pal.
Can you give me the name of two religions / religious groups before jewdaisum ?
When it comes to getting a group up and running.
Monotheism shines.
Imagin the toll of having gods like the Hindus. Worshipping cows and six arm ghouls.
Or even worse
Imagine having like Roman gods that you had to lie to yourself to make yourself believe.
Thunderbolts and lighting gods
It's to hectic.
Again , when it comes to ( getting a group up and running ) for that is what is happening.
Mono o'clock.
Having One god marries up perfectly with commandment #1.
But thats a totally different post topic.
WERE WHERE WE ?
OH THATS RIGHT. ▪°•¤▪°• °•¤▪°•¤°▪•¤ VIRGINS ▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°¤▪°•¤
Virgins having babies.
I think the best info for what really happened can be found in a Christmas carol or two.
CHRISTMAS CAROLS taught me everything i know about the jesus
Pa rum pa pa pum.
When i think of jewdaisum. i think of the first.
Of course there was religion before but.
The " earlier "the group you are in. The smarter it is.
Well not the smarter.
But ummm.
Its a better argument
Why? Dunno.,
Hey roesbud old pal.
Can you give me the name of two religions / religious groups before jewdaisum ?
When it comes to getting a group up and running.
Monotheism shines.
Imagin the toll of having gods like the Hindus. Worshipping cows and six arm ghouls.
Or even worse
Imagine having like Roman gods that you had to lie to yourself to make yourself believe.
Thunderbolts and lighting gods
It's to hectic.
Again , when it comes to ( getting a group up and running ) for that is what is happening.
Mono o'clock.
Having One god marries up perfectly with commandment #1.
But thats a totally different post topic.
WERE WHERE WE ?
OH THATS RIGHT. ▪°•¤▪°• °•¤▪°•¤°▪•¤ VIRGINS ▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°•¤▪°¤▪°•¤
Virgins having babies.
I think the best info for what really happened can be found in a Christmas carol or two.
CHRISTMAS CAROLS taught me everything i know about the jesus
Pa rum pa pa pum.
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A person Can commit a biblical sin.
However.
If a Sin can be so called " removed " then a sin is not what i think it is.
If a sin can be removed.
A Sin must be like a growth. Im guessing.
Pinocchio
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@Stephen
The was exactly first thing that come into my head of someone being blocked Was constipation.
Not a blocked chimney.
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Chimney
Chimney.
I thought it was Chimberly.
Imagine a sentence with ( Chimney ) and ( Cackle ) in it.
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Yesssssssssss Crises adverted.
3 and a 3.
I just rolled a double on my first chuck
We got lucky this time.
On the Internet , Trolls are way more powerful then Witches.
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Curious facts about witches.
They are really really nasty and mean.
Alllllllllll the time.
They rarely cackle.
Ha,,,,, Cackle.
Thats a fun word.
Cackle.
But on a more serious note guys.
PLEASE DON'T BE ALARMED BUT..
I can't help but feel that the poly witch may have just performed a spell of sorts to harm us.
did you feel it ? Something is about to happen I'm sure of it.
So please Make sure your salt circle is unbroken.
I think every couple of hours or so we need to check in with each other ?
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I feel so stupid having to ask this now buttttt.
Prayer.
It is
( clockwise right hand belly rubs )
with
( left hand taps on the top of the head ) hey. ?
Not the other way around.
My prayers have always been " put " pretty much like what i would ask a genie for if it come out of a lamp.
My most popular prayer would be like A million bux.
I use to pray to god to get me good Christmas presents.
I'm such a selfish prayer er . It alllllll about what i want.
I wouldn't go wasting ya prayers on crap like. Helping others out.
Prayer for like a remote control car or boat.
CAN I GET A AMEN ?
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One could of made up heaps off shit back before the Encyclopedia Britannica.
Pre EB.
Or Before National geographic.
Pre NG
Or Before Dolly doctor
Pre EB.
Or Before National geographic.
Pre NG
Or Before Dolly doctor
Pre DD
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@Stephen
The mindset as in.
They believed in witchcraft back then?
You can picture johnny doing a google search in the year 3000. ( WHAT WHERE PEOPLE LIKE IN THE YEAR 2000 )
A slight chuckle will occur.
When they read . ( They believed in gods back then )
Thus making what we thought of very little importance.
But ummm yeah.
Witches
I have a sneaky suspicion that.
It would of been easy to play tricks on people back then.
You could probably tie a rope to a door and pull it shut whilst you said something about someone and scared alot of people.
Magic tricks
I mean. You can get someone drunk and chop their hair off when they sleep.
Connect that up with someone you dislike.
Obviously they are a witch.
Kill em.
Get them away.
And that aint even magic.
There would have to of been some.. " off the chart gullibility levels "
I believe.
I've thought of many easy tricks you can play on people to get them to tend to your crops.
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I can picture the person administering this level 2 reiki attune.
Anyway yeah.
I've searched hi and low to see what the best prices for reiki Level 1 is and $77.00 is the cheapest i can get.
How much is level 2.
Then level 3.
If level 4 can administer / do level 1 ,2,3
One has to imagine a big price hike from level 3 to level 4.
Im guessing it would cost about $1000 all up to be a master.
The hardest part about being a master would have to be.
When it comes time to get the $77 bux of someone for a level 1 you just performed.
Lucky you have experience in selling stuff to folks.
Anddddddddd
When you become a master. Can ya do me for free. ?
Or half price.
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@zedvictor4
I think god might want me to build a church.
orrrrrr
Now get this.
Maybe invent a building with changeable odd shaped roofs
Sooooooo.
Ok , i got it.
Start a company that makes a cheap light molded roof fittings ( Odd shaped roofs ) added fixture.
Simply remove any roof and pop it on.
Like
Pattern #1 pointy with a cross .
Pattern #2 The big round bubble one.
Pattern #3 The synagogue one.
Pattern #4 or a design your own.
By simply Replacing any modern roof with a ( WHACKY ROOF ) or ( odd roofs ) you can charge people to come over.
Like to come in.
Becauseeeeeeeeee.
Everyone knows Ya can't worship god in a bookstore or in a fast food restaurant can ya?
Right?
No you can not.
You need a odd roofed building for that.
But its not like we can sell any to these guys.
We've a real smart bunch of half arsed theists on this site. ( you know what i mean )
So back to the drawing board.
Good day sir.
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@zedvictor4
I think we may be under utilizing the blatant gullibility of theists on this site.
I mean , where we have a gathering of religious folks, money can be made.
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I have the cheat code for the end guy.
It goes...
Right foot hop whilst Clockwise belly rub ( 4 times )
Light kick.
Light punch.
Squat.
Double jump
( ____ blank _______ )
Clap once.
( ____ blank _____ )
Followed by a ( ______ blank _____ )
For a small one off payment of just $17 .99^
Yes thats just $ 17. 99^
you To can live a much more comfortable life with the piece of mind knowing you will spend eternity in beautiful sunny as heaven.
With appartment upgrades.
* 100 % money back guarantee.
Why ?
Because you deserve it.
Offer valid until whenever.
Limited time only.
Don't get caught dead without it.
^ prices subject to change.
* moneys can not be refunded and or transferred to anyone in hell.
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Sing at me bitch.
I said sing at me.
mmmmmm yeah, real fucking cute like
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Picture jesus hearing the diffrent loudness of getting sung at.
Through the week he hears something that resembles singing , then comes sunday.
Jesus knows when the Sabbath comes round. The sound of alllllll you guys singing at once is " quite overwhelming " but he loves it.
Oh does he love it.
Then this whole corana vir happened.
For weeks slash months jesus went songless.
He was even able to have his first sunday sleep in.
Weeks pass.
No singing after no singing occurred, and jesus starts getting use to it. He sleeps in another sunday then another.
Look guys what i am trying to say hear is.
JESUS IS COOL IF YOU GUYS DONT WANT TO SING TO HIM ANYMORE.
AND as from the 16 of January 2023 .
Singing to jesus does not add any points to ones HAPS ( heaven access points score )
But please feel free to continue.
Picture jesus " not liking " the singing you guys do for him.
But jesus being jesus won't come out and straight up say ' STOP SINGING AT ME '
I cant.
I can
Picture jesus getting group sung at swaying side to side real real slow like whilst rubbing and pinching his six nipples spitting on himself.
To far hey?
Ok. Im in the sin bin for 15 mins.
Time startssssssssss .
Now.
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@zedvictor4
Deb 28 : 13 And he once did tooketh the moneys from the plate. And gave it to my sister for some reason.
My sister still occasionally brings up me stealing church moneys. She chuckles.
I can think of some pretty bad sins, like ya basic rapes and murders and eating kids butttttt ,,,,
If i know the christian god like i think i do
I'd say stealing cash out of a church bowl makes them sins seem somewhat petty.
It may very well be .
▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○● THE ULTIMATE SIN ▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○●°•▪○● •▪○●•° . ( Stealing from Jesus...)
You can Picture god being petty darn " angry " at someone for killing a couple of kids.
Now picture gods " anger " at someone for taking cash from him.
Im talking like $8 bux
That 800 cents , or more commonly known as 80000000000000000000 God coins.
I reckon God didn't see me steal it.
Not unless he is like a magician and can watch everyone at once.
And take notes. Thats nonsense.
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Also.
I cant picture a parstor / priest read a sermon from a computer device.
Or do they these days?
Hey imagine a priest / pastor deleating there search history.
I've a feeling they would be good at remembering to clear data browser .
I don't know why.
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