Total posts: 3,355
Posted in:
This Matthew bloke, Can we trust him?
Created:
-->
@Stephen
And queue ethang.
No but that's just crazy hey?
In the second verse you can see God elaborating.
This is very helpful of him, because if he didn't.
When he says, ' I will wipe from the face of the earth all the humans and all the animals.
( if God had stopped the verse there, people would be all like.)
why didn't god kill all the birds and all them other things that move along the ground ?
So God is elaborating, and whilst he is elaborating , I can't help but feel that he wants to use the word serpents / snakes, ( a grey area ) so he reverse elaborates. Is that a thing?
He refers to them as, ' All the creatures that move along the ground.
This then gives him the word " Creatures " to fall back on.
Very well played indeed.
What I suppose I can take from this is. Some clarification.
When God says ' ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE ANIMALS. ' he infact means even the birds and the snakes.
Oh and all the creatures too.
It's almost like God knew nothing more then what humans knew back then.
It is very strange.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Alec
Does a fly do a loop to land on the celling or a last second twist ?
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Alec
I'm a look into this alec.
But You have to think one male and one female of every animal. Inc the water variety.
But . It probably doesn't even say that.
Alec. Are you sure?
Created:
Posted in:
All the animals.
2 blue Whales. 2 False killer whales.
Created:
Posted in:
Keeping in mind.
Every Christian is in the top 100,000 at scripture translations FULL STOP
Created:
I only just the other day heard about this "communal drinking" game that the Christians play.
The game being, Everyone has a sip of red wine from a spoon, dished out of a cup.
Or as the Christians call it. Everyone has a sip of christs blood from a sacred old spoon, served out of special golden chalice.
Same same.
Is this Crazy or what?
It is however a greatttttttttt group building activity.
I couldn't believe i was only hearing about this now.
I know what type of Christians do it butttttttt, you are all just Christians right.
Hey what other weird things do you Christians do that we might not know about ?
I'm thinking freaky stuff happens around exorcism's.
You Crazy Crazy Christians.
Good game.
Good game.
Created:
Church via podcast or church on tv doesn't work.
I mean , it doesn't count.
You've all been maked as absent for the last 2 weeks.
Created:
Posted in:
Religion has known for hundreds of years that it takes on average, 3 days to fully resurrect.
Why science hasn't even got a instrument to measure this with yet.
point religion.
Good game.
Good game.
Created:
Not a prob Rod. You've permission to call me what you want.
No karaoke for three weeks hey .
Well let me just quickly flick through me bible.
No karaoke.
No karaoke for three weeks . No karaoke.
Nothing.
I think nothing of not singing karaoke. As long as its not going against gods will
For example if
Pslam 104 : 33 " I will sing to the Lord all my life, i will sing praise to my God as long as i live "
If it Was to Read Pslam 104 : 33 . I will sing karaoke to the lord all my life , i will sing karaoke to my God as long as i live.
Different story.
Not doing karaoke for a month would be a sin. Thus putting your afterlife accommodation at risk.
I can't help but feel you think nothing of not singing to god for a month.
It's almost like you know it will not effect him at all.
Is this the case ?. Have i nothing to fear ?
You probably are right but.
I can picture someone taking three years off church.
Then the day they go back to church, i bet god says not a single thing to them about taking 3 years off.
Do you think this also ?
Created:
Look i Know you guys are probably sick of explaining it.
And I'm really sorry i have to ask it.
I will tell you as i understand how god played a part in the making of the bible.
Tell me if i am wrong or right. I think I'm right.
Ok here goes. It's going to be ruff.
Gods looking down and he sees a bloke named Russell.
God goes. ( Russell , Hey Russell. )
Russells like wow , a big face in the sky. He says ( Yes )
God goes. ( Russell . Write this down for me. )
Russ goes. ( sorry but i can't write. ) 10 sec silence ( are you there.) Gods gone.
God sees Matthew.
God goes , ( Matthew. Hey Mathew . )
Matthew sees a face in the sky and he goes ( umm yes )
God goes ( Matthew, write this down for me )
Matthew goes ( sorry i cant write ) ' this matthew wasn't the samd Mathew of the bible.
God sees , Luke .
God goes ( Luke , Hey Luke. )
Lukes like , wow cool. ( yes )
God goes , ( Luke . Write this down for me. )
Lukes hasn't anything on him to write with.
You can see where this is going right ?
Well He starts finding people to write stuff down for him, and he tells them that in 200 maybe 500 years time you are to hand these writings into (____Mr BLANK___ )
(____ Mr BLANK____ ) then makes a book from all the writings.
And there you have it. The holy bible.
Yes?
No?
It's somthing like this right?
Guys?
The bible was made like that hey?
Created:
-->
@Stephen
You are not concerned?
Is this because you remember what god did the last time he went a month without getting sung at?
Tell us.
Created:
-->
@zedvictor4
They are flat out NOT GATHERING....
There is a hundred scriptures alluding to this. But they are not doing it. Is it Bible free month or something ?
If i know the Christian god like i think i do.
The only thing the god loves more then getting sung at is cashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
They alllllll knew fair well when they adopted the god thing that it needs a regular cash flow and the occasional singing to.
They have failed to do this which puts us all at risk .
Last week for example . PALM SUNDAY.
You know the god thing loves bring a palm prong to church day.
They didn't do it. It's flat out disrespectful.
Or zed.
Or.
This is the lengths a god thing has to go to to stop the Christians from singing at it.
If it all goes to Shlt. The Christians did it.
Just. The Christians did it.
Created:
Posted in:
Gods do a book FULL STOP
It's always good when you start believing in god and then realize that the god you where believing in just so happens to be a " Make-a-book " god.
If i was able to be a Christian. I'd be still blown away by god doing a book for us.
I'd use it as 100% proof of gods existence.
I feel that they don't really believe in God. Ya cant 87.3 % believe god.
Created:
Oh and your Pastor, we had to let him go.
Created:
Anyone else concerned?
:
:
:
God might be omni this and he very well may be omni that, but surely a god thing couldn't last a wholeeeeeeeeee month without getting group sung at.
The carelessness be it through lack of questioning shown by the Christians is deplorable. Who sings to someone for a couple hundred years then just stop for a month?
We are asking for it.
What i am after with this post is ummmmm, assurance.
I want a Christian to say deb.
Deb EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK. ( We don't have to sing song to god ) because to me it is pretty clear we do.
A Scripture or two would even be sufficient. A scripture like.
Jake 22 : 36 . Thou does not need to sing songs to a god thing for a month or more.
Or Or.
Lucia 18 : 29. Let he who casts first pink baloons rise deeply up thru vast soapy waters.
Both clearly meaning god doesn't always need to be sung at and likes the color 17.
GIVE ME SOMETHING.
I put to all.
If we don't sing songs to the god thing by months end. ( a week and two days )
WE CAN BE SURE that some form of punishment will be dished out.
A Plague of sorts maybe. A Swarms of christ knows what.
I was about to say, A ( WWF2 ) World wide flood. But i live ages away from the beach so i wouldn't be effected by that.
Picture god doing a ( WWF2 ) and people riding around on jet skis. Oh the wrath.
Could we do the zoo boat thing this day and age ?
O NO.........STOP........▪○●°•□■¤▪○●°•□■¤▪○●°□•■¤
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°( RANT AVOIDANCE MODE ) ' Activate '
Press,Press.
Press.
Ya lucky there guys. 'Breathes deep'
So just.
IS GOD OK?
Is he going to be ok ?
Thanks guys and.
Good game.
Good game.
Created:
Posted in:
TRIGGERED.
Well this clears things up for me.
See I've been trying to workout how much flavoring a 80kg bloke makes.
So The body of christ wafers are nothing more then just wafers.
I've had three body of christ wafers in my life.
I could of swore that the bloke in the robe that i got them of, as he passed it to me said .
" The Body of christ "
What he should say as he hands them out is.
" A wafer "
" A wafer "
Is Holy water and tap water EXACTLY the same thing ?
Can one turn holy water back into tap water ?
Can you make holy water ?
I'm just going to pretend i can make holy water.
Then I'm going to pretend that i can bless shlt with it.
Why? Because thats how it works.
It's a bit like when i put bits of bacon on my jewish bosses lunch.
The first time i did it.
I was walking to the office to see the boss one hour after lunch,
and I'm thinking.
As soon as i open the office door up , my boss will be like a blob of unrecognizable slim.
I got near the office door and i heard he talking , i was like phew, thank you god.
I went on to feed about 4 jewish people ham, and other assorted piggy stuff.
24 years after this. 4 years ago.
My boss dies.
And now i can't help but feel that he may not of went to heaven because of me. Thats ( jewish heaven ).
When we die there will be a bloke with a list.
And # 371 on that list is.
Pork consumption in kilograms.
Wich is understandable because .
You can't go to heaven if you regularly eat pork.
I mean it's just straight commonsense.
It's like umm, you can't go to heaven if you have a foreskin.
Again. Just straight common sense.
Of course ya can't go to heaven if you have a foreskin.
But back to the point. The post.
I hear what you say. And i believe it is what you say it is.
But the next poster ( tyran ) works with more reasoning. And this may be a outcome of you guys doing something you dont have to do.
It's like luck.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Tyran_Osaur
I chuckled out loud then.
Nice one man.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Tyran_Rex
YesssssssssssssssssssssssBOssssssssssssssssss
Nice.
I've always wanted the ability to make holy water.
I looked it up ten year ago thinking there probably is a 4 maybe 5 year university course.
But it would not be this easy. One has to be a 2nd year priest to be given this powerful tool.
Kidnap a priest , put him in a cell. And get holy water on tap.
I'd sooooooo abuse the power if i had it.
Holy swimming.
Holy surfing.
Holy showers.
I'd drink straight holy water.
Make holy rain.
I'd baptize people with my Holy spit.
Holy urine ?
Of course
So many activities.
Created:
God made one male and one female of allllllll the animals. ( this would make for a hard start )
God made a breeding pair of allllll the animals. ( this would still make for a hard start )
Ya easy loss half ya critters.
Only The animals that breed take off.
The male peach face parrot and the female peach face parrot have a baby peach face parrot.
They get to a good level then Bammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmm,
It's FLOOD time. So.
Change the word god now to Noah.
All the original animals that god made are all now long dead.
Noah gathers one male and one female of every animal. ( this would make for a hard start. )
Noah gathers a breeding pair of each animal ( this would make for a hard start )
So This creation is more like a survival of the fittest.
And All the animals start with No human interaction ( pre flood )
Then a start again with a breeding pair of rideable donkeys ( after flood )
And
Does the baby brother peach face mate with the sister peach face and bammmmmm you have a mutation. Ha.
Do allllll the animals in the world today come from the ZOO boat, and they've only been hear for no more then 10,000 years.
If the TOE is hard to grasp.
Picture a Hessian sack marked ( BEETLES RIGHT LEGS ) and another marked. ( BEETLES LEFT LEGS ) ( BEETLES MIDDLES )
And god sitting at a bench making them.
:
:
:
:
Alsoooooo.
When God creates a Animal, he must then place it on the " board "
God makes a polar bear a panda bear a grizzly .
God puts the white ones in the snow
The black and white ones at the beach.
and the grizzly bears with the gorillas in the desert.
Thus there is no such thing as pandas , gorillas and maybe grizzlies.
Evolution comes down to gods placement of the animals he makes.
God places the Giraffes straight in the ocean. AKA , So we dont have giraffes.
Picture it.
Gods like makes a zebra powwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....... A Zebra.
He looks at it , and then puts it somewhere in snow.
He gets lucky sometimes. And makes goats and places them on the sides of mountains.
He makes a bunch of snakes and accedently chucks half a handful in the water.
But half of them were land snakes so . We aint got them.
If god makes a animal.
God has to place it down. ( hopefully in a evolution spot )
Created:
Posted in:
Atheists are not stupid.
I suspect that the Christians have totally run out of , ( Body of christ ) and (Blood of christ )
Therfore them wafers they give out a just normal wafers.
And the blood of christ is just red wine.
Christ was a normal human size right ?
Hang on.
( BOY DON'T I FEEL STUPID. )
Blood of christ and body oc is made like holy water hey?
Priests make it by the batch hey? Magically.
Silly me.
I THOUGHT THAT THE BODY OF CHRIST WAFERS WHERE THE " ACTUAL " BODY OF CHRIST.
' I'm picturing they crushed up Jesus in like a mortar and pestle.
And thats why i thought you guys would be out of it.
Pay no attention to this.
Continue.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
It's almost like the bible was written without the year 3751 in mind.
It's.
It's crazy.
Created:
Posted in:
I'm going to spend a ( eternity ) in hell .
A (eternity )
Thats got to be likeeeeee 200 maybe 300 years right ?
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
Well why state that they were 900 plus? All of gods right hand man are
You want the cake.
Why not state that God built the universe in 872, 492, 462 man made days then he rested for 78,305 days.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@fauxlaw
Things like making noah and adam 900 years old is beautiful for the making yourself believe a under 10,000 year old universe really means 14 bill.
Its nice.
To have the ability to believe in god 88.3%
one must lie to ones self.
And things like that make it easy.
Religions make a ponzi scheme look so childish hey?
Created:
Posted in:
I've some good news and some bad news.
( Good news )
There is well over a thousands gods that are totally fine with people being naked.
( Bad news )
Not one of these Gods made a book soooooooo, I've ( No news )
Have you ever thought about believing in a non ( Make-A-Book ) God. ?
I can't help but feel A non ( make-a-book) gods take on this topic would be.
( ___________ ________ __ ____________ , ____ __________ __ ______ . )
And Keeping in mind ( _________ ____ _______ __. __ )
( ________ ___. __ ______ ___ ?)
Wich i myself think is total nonsense. But , each to there own.
I find it hard to believe that a non ( MAB ) exists.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@weareacouple
I'm having trouble with this post.
Soooo your like a ummmmm, a naked chick ?
I loveeeeeeee naked chicks
Hang on sec. ' scrolls ' back up '
For 25 years youve been a naked chick.
Plus you are married.
So add that and carry the one.
Has to be older then a 35 year old naked chick.
Oh, But not necessarily.
Wereacouple.
How old were you when you started being a nudist ?
( Plus 25 )
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@weareacouple
( so you think the naked body is dis / gus / ted. )
Very very ,nicely played.
Good game.
Good game.
Created:
Posted in:
( For every argument there is a counter argument )
This is messing with my head.
Created:
Posted in:
The Bible is good, but it ain't Google.
But we alllllll know gods don't do books.
IF gods did make a book.
They wouldn't name it.
The "boring" Bible.
Or
The "un-cool" Koran.
They would name it something much cooler. Like , i don't know.
( The dead sea scrolls )
This sounds like something a god would make.
Arrrrrrr.
Also the first bible books shouldn't of been written in jibberish. it should of been,
A Audio book bible version.
But we alllllll know gods don't do books.
IF gods did make a book.
They wouldn't name it.
The "boring" Bible.
Or
The "un-cool" Koran.
They would name it something much cooler. Like , i don't know.
( The dead sea scrolls )
This sounds like something a god would make.
Arrrrrrr.
Also the first bible books shouldn't of been written in jibberish. it should of been,
A Audio book bible version.
Created:
Posted in:
( give a meaningless post title comment )
Majority of Theists are right handed and yes some are left handed.
( Then whack in a name followed by some numbers and add some jibberish )
ROBERT 17 : 24. did e just like flick a ciggy but at me cat
And
Elizabeth 22 : 22. A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.
( give proper meaning for said names with numbers )
Some take these verses to mean. Theists are bat shlt crazy and lack sense.
This is true BUT they mean other things also .
( then write some more crap in Shakespeare esk way )
( then chuck in a sentence or two of sciencey stuff )
State some more things you think you know because of the scripts .
Deliver it in a cocky manner.
Press the create post button.
Then reply to what others say about it, whilst all the time making sure not to answer any questions ( DIRECTLY ) you are asked about.
Typical ethang.
Created:
Posted in:
CONGRATULATIONS.
You've just proved God exists.
Now the hard part. ( The Link is required )
What does believing, sorry I'll start again.
What does ( knowing a god exists ) have to do with ( being in or joining a religious group ? )
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Athias
Far out man.
The way you use ( God , God's , and Gods. And probably little ( g ) god .
Is sooooo deciving.
Look at your post. You do it well but. Always to your advantage.
All good but.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@Athias
Would it be more correct to add the plural.
Instead of god its gods.
1.
All wich is perceived must exist.
Gods are perceived.
Therefore Gods exist.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
Nice one dobby.
OCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Dobber.
Created:
Posted in:
A ( what was it like living in the year 2000 ) ' Google search ' in 378 years will start with a chuckle and read. They believed in gods back then.
No not 378 years
440 years.
A ancestry . Com search in 500 years time will have my " family " knowing me as.
Opening line. ( they believed in gods back then )
and then they wouldn't care much for looking any further into it.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
Christians outnumber atheists.
If you Christians are not allowed to got to church for ummm 2 months, then your estimated 2.1 billion turns into 1.93.
3 mounths off 1.8 bill
Half a year you are goneeee.
No but Picture a 7, 8 , 9 , 10 year old boy spending one mouth away from church.
Ouch....
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
If you're allowed to speak nonsense, i too can speak nonsense.
It's religion forum.
No one has ever been wrong.
Created:
Posted in:
It's only common sense god doesn't exist.
Created:
Posted in:
You think that's weird?
I know a girl who has not one, but two books on Stonehenge.
Two books on Stonehenge jane. ?
I've never heard such things.
Picture getting one book on Stonehenge then think it was pretty cool so you got another book on Stonehenge.
Weird alright.
Created:
Posted in:
-->
@ethang5
You say this like its some kind of joke.
Are you not concerned with everyone being BANNED from church this week, and that the good lord will not get group sung at.
I don't know what happens if we don't group sing at him.
Do you know what happens if we dont sing to him?
What he might do?
We are risking this.
Im sure we are in for 40 days and nights of something.
Maybe a plague of butterflies.
Who knows.
So laugh away twang.
No but on a serious note. Imagine being not
Hang on Whats that word, Ramifications.
No its repercussions.
Imagine the repercussions of. 《♡ NOT BEING ALLOWED TO GO TO CHURCH ♡ 》
Capital OUCH.
weak as.
Isn't it ?
Thang.
Weak?
You are not allowed FULL STOP
And how quick did ya get banned from clubhouse meetings.
A click of the fingers andddddd, NO CHURCH.
Nope.
It went
No basketball.
Baseball .
Rugby
Church.
Car racing.
WEAK.
And then I started to feel bad for you theists.
I mean , you are looking at easy , ( NO CHURCH FOR A MONTH )
And then i thought about if we let you go to church you will allllllllll doing the drink red wine from the same cup thing ya do.
I mean .
Allllll sip Jesus blood out of a special spoon from a sacred goblet nonsense. ( I'd want the last spit sip from the cup) I'd wank also.
Created:
Case studies into the effects of ( No church for a month ) by not allowing.
Created:
Posted in:
Is The bible, The original King james version ?
But thats that's what ya think about hey?
Created: