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I'm curious about, AFTERLIFE ACCOMMODATION.
Being a monk for 3 years will surely have you in a better ummmmmm, "apartment" after death then a person who only attends 100 Sunday services and calls them self a Christian.
You know what I mean?
Like um.
A Christian who has donated $130 surly isn't as "important" as a Christian who has donated $10,030.48
AFTER LIFE ACCOMMODATION.
When Moe Moe passes. Sorry to say that.
You can just see the roof of Jesus joint from Mopacs after life apartment.
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What's Attempt.
And then,
Levels of attempt.
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Is it " okay " to, ATTEMPT to kill someone ?
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What happens if you believe in a God that didn't do a book.
A NONE BOOK WRITING GOD if you will?
Are Your saying that , " Beliving in a none book writing god " is the same as being a atheists ?
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I'm thinking it's one of many parts in the block of scriptures that have people making pilgrimages to a certain place.
Imagine going to A / The HOLY CITY.
Meeting a live dead saint outside of the city is 201 to 1.
In the " holy city " it's like , 36 to 1
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@PGA2.0
Yeah, I was just stating that a person in five religious groups must be extra morally. Extra moral.
Do you agree?
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It's almost like the bible was written without the knowledge of the year 3744.
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As a member of FIVE and a half religious groups , spanning across the main three holy books, I highly doubt you'd find a more moral being then I.
So , yeah. Ask away.
Morals, Shmorals.
Actually, if being in a religious group gave one some kind of plus. You'd join a dozen of em.
Oh ,Unless there is a clause like. THALL SHALL NOT PUT ANOTHER GOD ABOVE ME.
Yeah. Real nice move. Very well played.
Good game.
Good game.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Bammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Nice.
How long has this idea of evolution you speak of existed ?
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Oh hell no. Being atheist has nothing to do with a belief in the TOE.
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Did I happen to mention that I once beat a cat with a stick?
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The 10.30 pm to 1.30am pray alone or read.
Pray alone or read means sneaky sleep time hey ?
I bet you doze of at 11.30 ish, and wake up to your 1 am alarm.
Nice.
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I was so going to make a . MOPAC would be starting grade 2 at monk collage one week ago.
First thing.
Nice man FULL STOP
Questions.
How many meals have you prepared ?
Andddddddd ,
Can I get you thoughts on.
THE ULTIMATE REALITY.
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Meth, it's a hell of a drug.
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This John bloke found a way to make a buck or two.
He would of been ever so happy the day when Pepole started calling him " John the Baptist "
Orrrrrrrrrr
Did he give himself that title. ? ( in real life )
The answer to this will give you the mind set of JOHN THE BAPTIST, / formaly John the walk a rounder
Or John the farmer. Or That Bastard john.
Picture him once saying. Just all me John will be fine.
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I go as far to say that , If a person kidnaps six kids and tortures them then eats them.
When him / her dies. They will " go to " orrrr end up in or at the same place as the kids that they tortured and ate.
EXACTLY THE SAME THING. Sorry for saying that but.
EXACTLY THE SAME.
Same as Muslims , monks Hindu, Christians and alllllllll the other flavors, the same thing happens.
It's just a guess but one almost must think this.
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ATHEISTS TALK TO GRAVES OF PASSED LOVED ONES.
They frequently chat at plaques.
As a atheist I've tried ever so hard to not talk to GRAVES.
BUT
BUT
I fail.
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That's the beauty of being atheistic.
You are ALLOWED to believe in a place that can be best described as heaven.
The atheist are all more then aware that not knowing what happens when ONE passes is locked in. One can never know.
The theistic bunch however no EXACTLY what happens when one passes.
And They know this in fine details what happens.
Lucky theists.
But I doubt they would feel so smug if God didn't do that book for him.
You guys are so lucky god did that.
You really should be all bragging and talking about this ummmmmm, lucky fact.
I'd have brilliant arguments against the existence of God if he didn't do the book for ya.
You are ALLOWED to believe in a place that can be best described as heaven.
The atheist are all more then aware that not knowing what happens when ONE passes is locked in. One can never know.
The theistic bunch however no EXACTLY what happens when one passes.
And They know this in fine details what happens.
Lucky theists.
But I doubt they would feel so smug if God didn't do that book for him.
You guys are so lucky god did that.
You really should be all bragging and talking about this ummmmmm, lucky fact.
I'd have brilliant arguments against the existence of God if he didn't do the book for ya.
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That so works. It fits nice.
John would of done stuff like this.
The water must be blessed first I'm thinking hey?
Imagine being baptized in like " normal " no blessed water.
Like water that wasn't blessed in the proper manor.
There could in fact be a LARGE number of "fake" / non binding baptisms.
I'm saving my " being born again " for when I turn 70.
Getting " born again " is by FAR the best " Sin Remover " ever.
It cleans the slate.
You could eat like five maybe six kids and then get the being " born again " treatment and bammmmmmmmm, you are still good for ( Afterlife accommodation )
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@secularmerlin
Sooooooooooo.
Is it definitely one or the other sec.
God either, ( exists ) orrrrrrrrrr ( does not exist )?
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Allllllllll that is in the book that God got them guys to do for him so he can like , leave it behind for us.
All the top God's do a book.
All the top God's do a book.
If he didn't that would be nonsense.
Answer. It's in the book that God did.
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You have to be a priest for 2 plus years just to make holy water.
Imagine having that power but.
Tap water into holy water. With a verse or two. Sweet.
But baptism, people that can baptize others is a pretty cool power to have.
If i had the ummmmm, ability to baptize people I would baptize people without there knowledge.
I'd hang out at the beach baptizing everyone that walks in the water.
ALLLLLLLLLLL the oceans would be 100% PURE holy water.
But having the ability to Baptism and make holy water are mere second to the real um " magic " that is.
THE TURNING OF SIMPLE PLAIN WAFER TO ( BODY OF CHRIST WAFER )
That's like jedi priest levels. 10th Dan or some shlt.
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With this raciest sience thing .
You. well We. Can make a ummmmm, opposite racism claim. So that's racist racist.
It counteracts.
Just Stats. And they change sooooooo.
But being raciest about anything science like, plays 2ND fiddle. It's way more important for the claim to be the truth. Science.
No I didn't say that right.
We can state a Stat showing ummmmm for and against.
So Raciest Stats.
Actually I have several left so I'm going to use a pass.
" PASS "
Are Companies that make ( BANDAIDS ) raciest?
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What might they make their god tell them next?
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@ethang5
Why is Christianity # 1 ?
Because there is heaps of religion's , religious groups, they can be Numbered one to Christ knows what.
Sooooooooo, ( E tag has made a list or scale if you will of ( WHO KNOWS ) andddddddd, on said list, ' He pongs ' has the Christians at number one.. " Christianity "
Quick recap. WHY IS CHRISTIANITY # 1. ?
Becauseeeee Christianity in this case is on some kind of list.
As I've not a clue why" Christ any T " is Number 1. I'm a have it a guess.
Ummmmmmmm. What kind of list would have Christ at one.
Wow , great queation. Maybe it's like a dick head list. , Which group contains the greatest per capita. Dick heads.
Or
Or
Christianity is #1 because Islamic or bloody Islam is # 2. anddddd for Islamic to be # 2. Position # 1 has been filled.
Now I am looking into to much hey?
I'm going to stick with the group with the most dlck heads.
Lock it in.
She Wang , I mean He pongs.
Ethang ?
Is it a contains most Dlck head list.
Good game.
Good game.
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The Sun is a God.
The Sun is real.
Thus.
Also jesus images on toast.
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I like the idea of telling a 5, 6, 10 or a 11 year old girl that the Jesus is coming soon to turn all non belivers into ash.
Like ummm , being burnt alive, to your death.
They'd love that shlt right.?
Get EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEE right on the frigging edge of their seats.
No but , Imagine saying/predicting the second coming will occur in 3775 years time.
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@Dr.Franklin
I am a incredibly poor speller .
I'd say grade 5 maybe 6. For example, ( accident )
Just then Doc I tried spelling accident eight times before my spell checker corrector put up ( accident )
I would never put a letter ( i ) there.
I went like this.
( Acced ) and the full word ( accident ) didn't come up.
I then went. ( aceden ) the word ( accident ) still didn't come up.
I then tried a few more combinations. I'd say a minute maybe two has passed on me trying to write the word ( accident ) whilst I'm thinking of a thousand more things to write.
Sooooooooo this with the fact the I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee words and ( syllables ) spell check ... and I've never scored bellow 176 in them tests.
Makes me ummmmm, a little bit ( noncical ) noncycal is that it. Nonsi.
I give up, I am a little silly.
And totally ruthless. Soooooooo. I don't care. ( within reason )
But really i wouldn't bother with me Doc.
Good day sir.
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@ethang5
Why is Christianity #1
What are you talking about idiot ?
Because um
The Biggest bunch of idiots list, has the Christians placed there.
With a antagonizing title like. ( Why is Christan #1 ) I can safely say that this list is not the top 10 favorite flavored ice cream.
( Why are Christians #1 ? )
Hummmmmm.
This probably isn't a Who are the best long distance runners list, no not at all.
( why are Christians #1 ? )
Well the Christians ain't the best monster truck drivers, so this list that has the ( Christians at #1 ) is not that.
Hey Wang?
Yeah look pal , I am just going to rattle of a dozen or so things that I can think of that would place ( The CHRISTIANS at #1 ) on a list
Tell me when .
OK hear we go.
This list that has the Christians at NUMBER ONE COULD BE.
: caber tossing.
: The biggest pack of fools under one roof.
: most pedophiles in a single group
: the biggest group with a Invisible leader.
: DlckHeads
: ??????
Ethang? Am I close ?
OK I will have a handful more guesses on what this list is that places the " ChristIans at # 1.
Numero UNO.
Hang on Thang.
I know what it is , I know what it is.
Thang ?
It's ( GROUP SINGING ? )
Ethang , it's group singing hey?
The Christian are #1 group singers,
Or the Christians are #1 group made up of all different groups.
No , no that can't be it.
It can't be anything in the intellectual field.
Look I don't knos
I GIVE UP. Pass...
What list is it that has the " CHRISTIANS " at number one ?
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Areeeeee the good old Abrahamic.
A truly great system.
A god.
A Human god.
A Book.
A clubhouse.
Christian smistrian fishtain.
This week If someone says they are a Christian to me, then they areeeeeeeeeee.
Ummmmm.
Let's go with them seventh day advent ones. You know? The Christians.
I think we can ALLLLLLLLLLLLL agree that The jehova witness ones are not at all popular. So IT'S A FALSE ASSUMPTION.
Orrrrrrrr.
Christianity is the number 1 because
Soooooooooo the title and thus question . ( Why is Christianity number one can be answered in a few wys )
Christianity is number one because there is a large number of "types"
( which is bloody horrible for ya )
And you want to be known as just " A CHRISTIAN " because if you say what type you are , then we .
Well I . Can tell you the silliest bits about that specific group.
Sooooooooooo a quick wrap up.
If you are asked what religion you are, and answer it with, ( I'M A CHRISTIAN )
If you say you are a Christian and then stop talking.
Thennnnnnnn, it's smart for you to do that.
Because if I know you are a Catholic for example, I will talk about the stupid things catholics think and do.
If you say you are a Mormon, aka Christian.
I will chuckle at the stupid things the Mormon do and or say.
But if say you are just Christian.
I then know you are a little silly, you know what I mean? This I know
Like You ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, aka Christian
But I can't grade ya silliness.
If on the other hand you just came out with it and say , OK OK .
I am a JW. Well then you are all types of silly.
You know what I mean but hey?
Yeah nice.
Good game.
Good game.
you know what I mean
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This is why I have sought and have found and currently practicing what I like to call ummmmmm. Joining a bunch of religious groups quickly.
I can join like 25 of em just with the words ( I except Jesus christ as me lord and savior. ) and powwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I am a dozen types of Christian.
I have also been saving my " getting born again "
I'd love to know what is the absolute least you can do to get to that heaven joint that they all talk about.
It sounds fuking beautiful.
But let's get one thing clear.
WHEN YA DIE, THERE WILL BE A BLOKE WITH A CHECK LIST FULL STOP
Oh and with the ease of joining these groups I do suspect that some of these " Christians and just normals but say they are a Christian.
A half arsed theist, if you will.
Good game
Good game
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Hey did I ever mention that I once beat a cat with a stick?
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@crossed
As I was typing it crossed I was thinking , ( i think I'll find that most plants have a medicine use for something and or some ones. )
Right you are.
So now the Sim Iwe run has to somewhat differ.
God makes a medium in the levels of toxins for plants plant. Then he makes one with a little less in it. Then a plant with absolutely none in it.
( and it is hear where it lays ) god making a plant with not a single toxin of sorts in it.
Oh , OK OK ,
Run that Sim crossed : god making a" good plant " followed by God making another " good plant " .386 less that toxin but a little more of the other stuff. Then another one followed by another thennnnnnnnnn
Plant # 4899224. Bull rush. And it don't do shlt. He puts absolutely none of this special juice we are talking about.
I don't know what I am trying to say now.
But I do like your argument.
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Well yes but , like no.
It does look cool , and with these med plants alone it would be extra cool.
There is a argument there.
But ya not looking at the bigger picture.
Now Before I say this now, I should do a Google buttttttttt , I asume the number of " non medical, medicinal, plants trees, grasses bush and what have the, far far out weigh number the ummm " the ones with medicine in em "
10,000 to 1 maybe.
Well 1000 thousand to 1.
So with this " fact " would you say?
( The number of non medical foliage stuff is far greater then the medical, toxic like stuff. )
Again. If we are still in agreement here.
Let's run the simulation again. ( properly ) properly ..proper.
Because to get you to.
Only a GOD could do something like this , which I concluded is a pretty fair assumption
The Sim you run of god doing this went Ike this.
God makes tumeric then some gladiolus or whatever it is he made ginger , sweet wood worm to name but a few.
But The Sim you run should really play out much like this.
God makes crab grass then a paperbark followed by small duck weed ( twenty-seven more nothing special plants, ) then a mulberry bush followed by 3018 bushes , grasses, trees, etcetera etcetera , thennnnnn he does a ginger plant followed by Lantana, milo , more grass , sweet pea , followed by the highly toxic water hemslock. Then spinafex . A few air plants , a orchid
Untillllllllll. ( PLANT # 498, 825 Tumeric. )
( you can see where this is going hey? )
God making a rock or anything is as good as god making any magical grovy weed. Or mushrooms.
Plant number
Which brings me to. A GOOGLE SEARCH that I would do if I could but I can't right now , search being. ☆☆☆☆ How many "bad " toxic plants of any and every kind is there approximately.
Soon the true brilliance of god making, and us having these " AWSOME " batch of med plants ain't all the special.
This is of course Unless god did make all these AWSOME super useful plants in like a one off super awesome and mega useful batch of flor and fawn, ( A true God play ).
Picture god making rocks.
Basic rock #1 , basic rock # S : 8279771, followed byBasic rock 90 , rock 298857 ,
Thennnnnn , rock # 817718653 Silver. Basalt Basalt Basalt.
God doesn't make nor create a batch of pure awesomeness followed by run of average. lol, I wouldn't think he does.
Orrrrrrrrrrr
He might.
He may.
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Some people can be sooooooo
In the EVER POPULAR, ( KJ version ) bible , the name Jesus is mentioned some nine hundred and something times.
Soooooo, Before I start this tedious task of scribing out every word, every mention of " Jesus " up in this book,
And before I start replacing said scribbles with the word ' God '
are you sure Doc?
Are you positive that ( Jesus ) is ( God ).
Hold the phone.
Is god is Jesus ?
Stop, stop , stop.....
Look I'm going to put a hold on this Jesus is god thing for now.
It makes me uncomfortable.
Pass..
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And The Jehovahouse witnesses are no where near the weirdest Christians.
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A god thing wouldn't of made things need to breath. ( I reckon )
I'd like to talk about the god thing creating stuff.
Creation.
But better then that. I like to * picture * a god thing creating.
For example, things like stars.
OK let's picture this together.
Step 1 ( The god thing makes 100 of these massive rocky things ) insert your own noise.
Step 2 ( placing it on the board. ) sooooo, 100 big awkward ummmm , rocks.
God struggles with this.
Where on earth can I put these big awkward things?
And then It dawns on him. He thinks stuff it. These little beauties are going up in the nothing above all the stuff .
He then asks himself, should I get them to be able to move or not?
He likes the idea of " Big heavy flying rocks " and so it was.
100 big heavy flying rocks = Stars.
God then notices that at the dark part of time aka night.
At night them big floating flying rock things that he did, light up.
Which reminds me . ( God thought and said the moon light up ) sooooooo that as far as we will take gods truths.
Anyway back to God creating the stars.
He notices that the 100 stars he made " twinkle real pretty like in the black part out there.
He then ponders what ONE THOUSAND of them twinkling big awkward flying rocks would look like.
So bammmmmmm . Now god places the rocks up in the nothing to fly around and waits in pure excitement for the black time to occur so he can see his 1000 strong twinkling big awkward flying rocky things he made in full glory.
Night falls.
Wowwwwwwwww goes god. He just absolutely loves em.
He watches them 23 / 7.
He then starts to imagine what a ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND of them things would look like. Although he highly doubts ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND of them big awkward flying rock things would fit over there in the space above the everything else , but he is going to make more that is for sure.
Bammmmmmmmm , that now 100,000 stars twinkling in the black part, and boy does it look awesome.
He is happy for the next few thousand years I'd say, just watching his flying ackward rocks doing there thang.
Fascinating, absolutely fascinating.
He then starts to imagine what ONE MILLION of these star things would look like .
Surly The black part would be completely white with a million of these star thing buttttttttt, god truly loves them.
So be it .
Powwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ONE MILLION STARS.
You know were this is going right.
With Three plus billion stars in our universe alone.
Stars are without a doubt God's greatest love.
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It's crazy to think you can just stop group singing at the god thing for 2 whole months and there not to be these " repercussions. " these freaky none normal to us occurrences.
Actually it was a combination of things that cause these event.
The group singing being the main. Along with The well below par and frankly disrespectful money collections of the months combined.
These two factors alone could of been dismissed by the God thing
But what really tipped him over the edge and he will NEVER EVER FORGET ISSSSSSSSSSSS.
The BIG " NO SHOW " they, they being the Christian .
The BIG NO SHOW THEY PUT IN ON PALM SUNDAY.
I mean. WTF?
THAT'S TWO WHOLEEEEEE YEARS without anyone bringing a single palm prong to church with them.
Again. WTF????
I'll tell you what It's almost like.
Well it's almost like the Christians are not taking anything god asks of them seriously.
And It's clearly obvious they are not using their common sense.
Everyone knows the God thing needs and loves it when we play the ( bring a palm leaf to church week )
This non event caused MUCH CONFUSION to, as God knows a week* after we do the " bring a leaf to church thing " is the day of his death.
And this he missed.
*week.
A week means. Or is to the god thing .
The ammont of ummmmmmm, time that passes from one big " getting group sung at " this being the Sabath. to the next big " getting group sung at event.
One week.
So that's the bad news and obviously the reasons for these scary unusual times.
But The good news.
THE GOOD NEWS IS.
They are back at it next week.
And If the Christian can put together Three weeks of (above average) group singing and a extra $50 sd or $200 sd , sd = Savior dollars, thennnnnnn we will be on the short path back to the norm.
So full voice guys.
Sing at the god thing real real good like.
Good game.
Good game.
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You got two packages to choose from.
Package #1 . Fun life this life and according to you , Really bad life after death.
Orrrrrrrrrr
Package #2 . Live this life according to the book that god dId. And after death ,, ☆☆☆☆MEGA JACPOT☆☆☆☆
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You don't kill a bloke that can perform miracles.
You simply cut out there voice box and throw them in a dungeon and get them to do stuff.
Jesus would be turning water into wine 13 hours of the day.
Healing worthy people for 2 hours.
Followed by 2 hours of instant bucket o' fish.
Day after Day.
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⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙▪○▪○▪ WARNING ▪○▪○▪○▪ WARNING ▪○▪○▪○▪ WARNING ▪○▪○▪⊙⊙⊙⊙
We are now reminded that...
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
《One can NEVER guess what it is that they might make their God tell them next》
Me mom warned me about shlt like this.
Mom 76 : 15. Be wary of people that lie to themselves.
( within reason ) oh and along with.
Mom 47 : 11 Bloody churchie idiots.
Deb 8 : 42 To believe in God 83% ( which is the MAX ) one must lie to one's self FULL STOP
Who's up for a quick game of { SCRIPTURES }?
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Arrrrrrrrrr, Scripture.
You wouldn't have a god speak anything but.
It's ummmmmmm, It's BRILLIANT.
Very well played indeed.
From Abraham to L Ron. ( and before that. )
OK now.
Picture if you will.
A meeting.
A meeting of the bible writers guild. A truly brilliant few.
In one of these meetings a BLOKE named jerry stands up and goes.
' what we should do guys is.
We will Get god to speak in a "scripture like format"
All the other ( MEN ) where all like.
A scripture format? What do you mean a scripture like format.
So on and so on.
Soooooooo, let's now pause for six seconds.
Six seconds In which we are to think about the ( BRILLIANT MIND ) of the bloke named jerry that went. Yeah.
He went yeah. ( WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS GET GOD TO SPEAK IN A " SCRIPTURE " like " FORMAT " )
6 seconds starting now.
And a five.
And a four.
And three.
And a two, and one.
Bammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Brilliant idea hey?
Scripture has two great ummmmmmm, mechanisms.
One be it a " covering mech " . You know. It does not mean this it means that.
The other be it a " hooking mechanism " or a capturing mech if you will.
That being....... When one reads a bible for the first time , they get to the first funny writing.
A scripture.
They read it and they think it means this or maybe that. They will get back to it.
They get the next scripture and it quite obviously means ( X )
Then they get.
10 SCRIPTURES into reading the bible. ( and yeah, they are getting the hang of this )
25 SCRIPTURES into the bible. ( now not meaning to boost butttt, you are now getting pretty darn good at deciphering these scripture things. )
50 SCRIPTURES into reading the Bible. ( ☆☆☆CONGRATULATIONS☆☆☆ You are now in the top 100,000 people of all time at scripture translating.
100 SCRIPTURES into reading the Bible. ( you realize you have a great quirky type way of translating these ) andddddd you may very well be the only one that translates this one and that one that special little way.
Anddddddddddddddddd again. So on and so on.
By the time you get to the end of the bible the second time, it becomes pretty dam obvious that God made that bitch for you.
It's common sense. .
But yeah, A bloke said.
What we should do isssssss, get god to speak scripture.
A brilliant mind hey?
His mind is up there with the bloke who looked at carrots and then looked at a cake and thought, carrot flavored cake.
Again, BRILLIANT.
Good game.
Good game.
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Unfortunately God needs us all to meet at the clubhouse AT LEAST once a week.
It's a group building, group strengthening thing.
And We all know that the good Lord lovesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss CASH.
The church is the perfect place to ask for this.
So no church simply takes away there best money collecting Avenue.
Rubble, rubble, rubble.
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