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I'm fine with not ending the DP yet, but I think testing Pie's claim is the best option.
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@Zaradi
Yes, there is. Pie said he deathproofed me. If he's telling the truth, the lynch won't kill me and he's confirmed as a third party. If he's lying, then I die and the rest of you will know he's mafia and can lynch him next DP.
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@Lunatic
@ILikePie5
@PressF4Respect
@Zaradi
Unvote
Speed is right. We should test Pie's claim. Confirming him as TP or mafia is better than guessing.
VTL SirAnonymous
Pie, this is your chance to prove to us that you're telling the truth. VTL me and prove it.
If I die, you all know who to lynch.
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@Zaradi
If I remember correctly, PressF did say last round that he thinks you're scum, so there is a towny motive. That being said, his actions in DP1 were not pro-town and he seems to be suspecting you in large part because you suspect him.
VTL PressF
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If PressF redirected Zaradi to me, then Zaradi would have seen Pie visiting me. One of those three must be lying about their actions.
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I'll be out most of the afternoon. I'll check in when I can, but I won't really be active till this evening.
How did no one die again?
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@Vader
How dare you imply that titans are inferior based on their sexuality!
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Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment. It is not intended to parody any specific person, nor is it intended to be an accurate representation of the environmental movement. I am entirely aware that no one actually thinks like this (I hope, anyway). This is completely satirical. I do not believe any of this, nor does any of this reflect my viewpoints in any way.
Last Week: 6-8
Last week was a disaster for the environment, especially since we only have 11 more weeks before the damage to our environment becomes irreversible. But fear not, fellow social justice warriors: we will yet triumph over the villainous bourgeoisie and their reckless ransacking of our reality!
TNF
Colts vs. Texans
This is a horrible decision. Should we pick patriarchal white men or their animal slaves? The villains or the enablers? Not only do the Texans have a history of racism, but in today's world they are also obsessed with GUNS!!!! Colts would never engage in such slaughter of children. Even worse, the Texans use guns to shoot colts. They even shoot them just for having broken legs. Talk about ableism!
Colts: 20. Texans: 13
Sunday
Buccaneers vs. Falcons
There's just no comparison. Yes, falcons hunt; yes, they subject themselves to humans; but at least they don't use guns!
Falcons: 17. Buccaneers: 7
Broncos vs. Bills
We must confess to making a huge mistake last week. We thought the Bills were buffaloes and not carbon copies of a cruel cowboy exploiting Native Americans for profit in a tour filled with white male propaganda. We are so extremely sorry for the offense we caused to everyone and resolve to do better. It's 2019; there's no excuse for what we did, and we apologize.
Broncos: 31. Bills: 6
Giants vs. Bears
Bears are cuddly and soft and stuffed with cotton and covered in hearts and come with chocolate and flowers. They would never make horrible, triggering noises or commit murder against their fellow animals. Giants, on the other hand...ugh. They're like humans, but bigger, so they emit more CO2 and have the same problems, but worse. Also, have you noticed that giants are almost always white? Not even joking.
Bears: 24. Giants: 17
Steelers vs. Bengals
Bengals are nice, cute kitties with spots. They purr and they're cute and they're great for safe spaces. But Steelers are horrible capitalists who hate the environment. They are soooo evil that they would rather let themselves and everyone else burn and die in global warming so long as they get money. They'd rather be rich than save their own lives. #TypicalConservatives
Bengals: 35. Steelers: 0
Dolphins vs. Browns
Dolphins are cute, but it's just racist to pick against brown people for any reason, and we're not racists. So if you like dolphins, then you're a terrible person.
Dolphins: 10. Browns: 21
Panthers vs. Saints
Saints are Catholic, and Catholics hate women's rights. STOP HATING WOMEN, YOU MISOGYNISTS! But panthers are endangered, so they must be protected at all costs.
Panthers: 49. Saints: 14
Raiders vs. Jets
It is in every way acceptable to raid jets. They need to be destroyed, or we're all gonna die! Raid them, destroy them, and then post it on social media to virtue signal to all your friends. Jets are destroying the environment by polluting the atmosphere with that gas that makes plants grow, so they must be destroyed.
Raiders: 28. Jets: 3
Seahawks vs. Eagles
Eagles are the symbol of the world's most hateful nation led by a man who is literally Hitler. Seahawks are - well I don't know what they are, but how can they possibly be worse than that?
Seahawks: 14. Eagles: 10
Lions vs. Redskins
Redskins is a racial slur! Even though nearly all the Native Americans in the area root for them, we need to be offended on their behalf because using this racial trope is just unacceptable. But lions are endangered, and they're just big cats. Sure, they're carnivores, but any real SJW knows that microaggressions and cultural appropriation are far worse for society than getting eaten by a predator.
Lions: 27. Redskins: 17
Jaguars vs. Titans
Jaguars are an endangered species, so they have the initial advantage. On the other hand, titans are from Greek mythology, and any non-Christian religion is totally acceptable and should never be attacked. Also, Jaguars are predators, and meat is murder. However, titans are the enemy of the Greek gods, so an enemy of a friend is an enemy, I guess? Not sure.
Jaguars: 15. Titans: 14
Cowboys vs. Patriots
I can't even. I just can't even. Gun-loving, women-hating, white supremacists against gun-loving, women-hating, white supremacists. I need a safe space just thinking about it. This can't be real. NOOO!! At least the Patriots threw a few bones in the direction of human rights. Sure, it was just for white men, but I can't, I just, like, can't!
Cowboys: 3. Patriots: 7
Packers vs. 49ers
Not another one! This is clearly the patriarchy! Meat packers against miners. Meatpacking may support murder, but at least it doesn't murder the world.
Packers: 14. 49ers: 9.
MNF
Ravens vs. Rams
Finally! I can even! Ravens are predators, which is an inherent disadvantage. Rams, on the other hand, are vegetarians. However, ravens are black and thus immune to criticism (unless they take conservative positions and forfeit their black cards). Some rams are white. Triggered! However, rams are exploited by humans for their wool, so they're victims. Thus, they win this round of the oppression olympics.
Ravens: 35. Rams: 42.
What do you think? Am I wrong and you're more woke than me? If so, remember this: you either die woke, or live long enough to see yourself become a bigot. And I will dig through every post you have ever made on the internet, and if there's even one that could be misinterpreted as slightly non-PC, you. Will. Be. Canceled. So you thought you were more woke than me? Wrong!
(Editor's Note: This writer has been fired for saying "Wrong!" in the same way Adolf "Not My President" Trump uses it. We apologize for the inconvenience and for allowing such a hater to use our platform. Thank you for your patience.)
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@drafterman
Unvote
I forgot about the instant end if everyone votes. Will the DP end in an hour regardless of my unvote? If not, I'll be back later to restore my vote.
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@ILikePie5
Zaradi chose Press, so I guess that he will be the easiest lynch. Due to his illogical play, I think he's the best choice as well.
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@Lunatic
@Speedrace
@PressF4Respect
We need you guys so we can make a decision.
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@ILikePie5
Then why aren't you deciding between them yourself? Why vtl for the one I tell you to vtl? Why follow my lead? Just because you depend on my survival doesn't mean you have to do that.
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@Zaradi
Why use WIFOM when I could allow a vtnl to happen and have Pie protect me?
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@ILikePie5
Why are you relying on my reads? This doesn't add up.
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@DynamicSquid
A useless form of currency from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
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@Zaradi
Also, if I'm mafia, why would I try to get someone who could protect me killed while making myself look suspicious in the process?
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@PressF4Respect
Ok. Put the reasons in your will so we know what they are if you die.
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@Zaradi
That's because I'm trying to get the rest of you to reach some decision on a lynch. It makes sense to give good reasons for you to reach a decision. You don't know I'm town. Thus, that is a good reason for you to reach a decision on Pie. Yes, I'm town, yes, it's confusing, and yes, I know that I could be making a huge mistake. But at the moment, I'm willing to take that risk.
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@PressF4Respect
Why would it become obvious?
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@Zaradi
I'm sure. It's just that there are several good candidates for a lynch, so I'm flip-flopping to try to get a lynch. I would prefer to lynch Press, but it doesn't look like that will happen, so I'm going for the second best lynch candidate.
As for the devil's advocate, read the Office DP1 and the the Dreamer DP3. I was town in one and mafia in the other. But in both games, I admitted that the evidence was against me. This is just how I play. The truth is the best defense.
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@PressF4Respect
I didn't town read him. I said that, if he's telling the truth, he won't be an obstruction. However, there is no guarantee he's telling the truth. Also, (I'll play devil's advocate here), if I'm scum, then he definitely needs to die because he will protect me from lynching.
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@Speedrace
@PressF4Respect
@Zaradi
Above. If you guys want to lynch Pie as a consensus, I'll join in, unless he's hammered first.
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It doesn't look like we'll be able to lynch our first picks. How would you all feel about lynching Pie as a second best option?
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I won't be able to contribute much in the last four hours. If someone makes a good case for a lynch, I'll vtl, but I won't be able to explain much.
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Water is incredibly racist. Did you know that global warming is expanding the ocean water so it will cover coastal cities? This will disproportionately affect poor people, which refers to blacks and Latinos because white people are never poor thanks to institutional racism, who can't afford to move inland. Consequently, water is racist. Just you wait! "Rising sea levels destroy world. Women, minorities most affected."
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@Zaradi
I watched Lunatic and no one visited him.
Ok
<br>
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@Zaradi
I think drafter's role is comedian.
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@Zaradi
If people really want me to give results, why has no one asked me for NP1 results?
Because I've never played a game that started in the night phase. What were your NP1 results?
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@Lunatic
Because that post explained why he had a motivation to hunt scum, which would remove my objection that he would be an obstruction.
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@Joshua1
as the Bible does not explicitly say
Actually it does.
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise."Luke 23:43 (NIV)
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@HistoryBuff
consistently criminal behavior of Israel.
What crimes has Israel committed?
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@ILikePie5
Cause my obligation is to you. You win when scum is dead. Hence I win when scum is dead.
That's true. I didn't think about that. Unvote VTL Press
If I’m Mafia then there’s still someone else who fake claimed that is still out there.
That's true regardless of whether or not you're mafia.
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@PressF4Respect
Ok, but I'm not sure that's really Pie's plan, since it would only hurt him if it worked.
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@PressF4Respect
(especially after the plan between Sir, Pie, and I)
What plan was this?
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@ILikePie5
Let me put it this way: what other TP roles can I be?
Mafia. It isn't TP, but if you're lying, that's what you are.
Zaradi has results, he refuses to release them. How do you feel about that?
If he refuses to release them, then we hang 'em high.
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@ILikePie5
Why would you follow me? Your only concern is that I stay alive, not to hunt for the same scum. The only person you would have a motive to hunt for is PressF, because his ability to redirect people to me threatens your wincon. If you're mafia, we win by lynching you. If you're 3P, then you would just be an obstruction.
I gotta play to my wincon which is keeping you alive. Idc if I die in the night. At least let me protect you tonight rather than lynching me off the bat and take a chance
Protection would be nice. Not having any obstructions to lynching mafia would be nicer.
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@ILikePie5
Lynching me does nothing for you. You lose your protection and confirmation. There’s a greater chance you’re town than mafia according to simple probability. 80% chance
It doesn't matter if I live. What matters more is that your existence in DP2 could make it impossible to get a majority to lynch the mafia.
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@Lunatic
@ILikePie5
Angels can win jointly. However, he's an obstruction regardless of whether he really is one or not.
I can literally prove my role tomorrow if you lynch SA.
Somehow, daring us to make you lose doesn't fill me with confidence that's your real wincon. If you are telling the truth, that's a foolish thing to say.
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@Lunatic
Now that I think about it, even if he is telling the truth, he will still be an obstruction because he has no reason to vtl intelligently.
Unvote
VTL ILikePie5
We don't need an apathetic third party preventing us from getting a majority on a scum.
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@ILikePie5
If you don't VTL or VTNL you'll get modkilled.
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I don't think Zaradi is mafia. I can't prove it, but I do have evidence.
Nvm, 327 looks townie as ****. I'mma sleep and go over this again tomorrow.
Writing someone off as town is not something that a mafia would do, especially in a quickfire. This is much more like a towny being careless.
I'm leaning more toward PressF as scum due to his extremely illogical behavior.
VTL PressF
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@Speedrace
Also, I read Disc's role sheet, Angel is not town specific, you can be given a mafia to protect. In fact, that would completely balance the entire gameThe fact that Sir completely ignored that is extremely suspicious to me
Other than calling drafter Disc again, you're right. I didn't think too hard about how an angel would protect a mafia. I got to the point where I realized that an mafia-guardian angel would just be a second mafia and wrote it off as impossible. Now that I think about it, you're right. I could still be mafia. However, it would still be really weird for it to be impossible to lynch the mafia in one of the rounds due to an angel in a game that's only 2-3 rounds total. That's getting past imbalanced and edging up to outright broken. Even so, it would still be possible, though not very likely.
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@Lunatic
Ok. I don't think that really means anything, though. The roles are just randomized, so I have no problem believing the Speed ended up with a useless role.
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