Instigator / Pro

Biden vs Trump rap battle (written, not vocal)


The debate is finished. The distribution of the voting points and the winner are presented below.

Winner & statistics
Better arguments
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After 7 votes and with 20 points ahead, the winner is...

Publication date
Last updated date
Number of rounds
Time for argument
Two days
Max argument characters
Voting period
One month
Point system
Multiple criterions
Voting system
Contender / Con

If you take this and argue 'against a rap battle between Biden and Trump' you forfeit the debate as per this agreement.

Engage in a rap battle or fuck off.

I represent Joe Biden, Con represents Donald John Trump.

Round 1
Beat to Loop (if you want to):

I know, I know, what a dang dismal predicament,
DJ Trump in his element, this is a bulb to his filament,
Budget deficit is evidently leading to the trumpet of D being overblown with the dissing he needs to cover up for lack of diligence,
That's right, I'm virulent, he's impotent but the important matter at hand is... what was it I was saying? If you're poor and a minority don't stay indifferent!

I'm telling you, I understand what you see; rich white Biden is an oak pointing at the willow screaming 'tree',
But this aint a simple case of a kettle burnt-out making tea, this is Obama's right-hand man Jekyll vs the Hyde I'm sane, I'm nice; centre-left Biden's the guy to be,
You can't ever liken me to DJT he and I aint even similar if we're both JB,
He's Justin Bieber, I'm Johann Bach of the political realm; you can't Hendel me, I like these puns let's keep it a hunnid for my Johann Sebastian Black community,
Ooh, let's hit him the racist accusation, he's nothing but a redneck cracker, Lil Trump mumble rapper thinking he's notorious BIG,
Tell me, when was America great? Well, really what era? Cold War, before? What's in store for the nation is as likely to be known as ever getting to the bottom of a Trump-investigation's inquiry,
Joe Budden with slimy flow; covid droplets through my lack of a mask because I forgot I'm not dumb and Republican, only hoax worth considering is that behind closed doors Melania can think of the man she married and retain the bile leak.

It's time to rattle and rock now - the rhymes get nice when I enter 
I got this battle locked down like an ICE detention center
Gonna make this man cry like the kids in the cages
All these baseless accusations against me are outrageous!

Say I'm not good for the poor? Well I lifted their wages 
Everybody's 401 K's up - you should be gracious
Almost everyone in the nation got raises 
And I'm the best thing to come along for black people in ages

Not since Abe Lincoln have they been so supported
Unless they are babes Illegals should be deported 
I'd kick my own wife out if she got fat and ugly
Think that upsets folks? Nope! That's why they love me 

I never said you could expect any integrity
I could lie through my teeth with the deepest sincerity 
Despite all that drama you're still no better than me  
Now if only Ivanka would get into bed with me

Damn, that would be the crown jewel in my life full of riches
Orange with a comb-over and still I get bitches
A few wives and a mistress - they all love my millions
That may not float your boat cuz all you do is sniff children

"Now "come on, man" even your mama knows it's true 
Your biggest achievement in life will be Obama's #2 
I'm the best in the world - if you deny it you're wrong
I mean Earth, Joe - you don't even know what planet you're on

Why bring up Justin Bieber - isn't he too old for you now?
You're an overachiever, I believe it's time you settle down 
Just listen - you look as if you're melting like butter 
Trust when I say I'll win this cuz unlike you I won't stutter 

Round 2

Where do I begin? Oh right, I start with the way you win,
If debates were oceans you're swept up in the tidal motions; can't fathom a non-defective way to swim,
You're an onion with rhetoric; shallow at every layer, we dig deep and you aint got vitamin Biden like potato skin,
You aint hard with the lyrics, pushing hard on your limits, try to stab with glass shards, tryna hold your flow together with a safety pin,
Saying that I'm aged's a world away from grim, you're 74 relic, did you forget? Oh what an ailing king,
Let me make this this blatantly clear; your support-base hates the government, they gave you all that power to be their tame lil gimp,
You say your IQ is the highest, crossed your wires with lies it's like one minute you're all pious and the next your Christian fan girls defend you embracing sin,
The literal space you inhabit is a waste of all executive power; like holding an election for heaven and electing Satan in,
You haven't made a single good decision, Iran hates us more than ever but 'whatever' right? What's the problem with hostility if it's a political landscape you're advantagous in?You got shame in your grades, tryna phase me with baseless attacks when I bite back watch you wishing you escape; this aint no cageless ring,
You're staying in here with me, what's with your face? The Grinch has a happier look on his face than the chronic agonising scowl you possess; guess the Gimp of Libertarians hates to win.
Like the Earth I'm just getting warmed up!!!!!

See here's what’s going down - I'm first in this race
You're worse at this then you are at personal space 
Round 2 means it's time for a consecutive slaughter
NOW SUCK MY DICK - that is called an Executive Order 
You say I made fun of your age, but made up that lie
When I say your name they all reply "fuck that guy"   
You're no President - more like just a mayor of Con City 
Went for my job twice before and lost, now you wanna be me
I don't want any beef with losers like you as a policy
You're all talk and no action like a romantic comedy  
By no account will you win this - it's been a bloodbath 
I know you can't count kid so I'll do the tough math: 
When it comes to rapping - we're like fractions - we're not equal
You're what happens if your momma does drugs when you're fetal
And running for office with dementia should be illegal
No potential for my loss so stay tuned for the sequel  
Just a wait a week and then you'll see how they voted
It's not hard to decode it - I beat impeachment and Covid
I took it all on: establishment, courts and the media
I'm adamant that of course in this battle I'm beating ya
So don't be mad at me Joe - you're just mediocre
You'll be calling me "daddy" before this is over  
There's no stopping me now, I think it's time we confront 
I drop more lines on you than your son does in a month 

Round 3

Let me tell you a story little boy, sit down and listen to your elder,
We have a little punk who was spoilt by his daddy and says he earned his inheritance; ego forever sheltered,
See Trump saw his dad with his maid and enjoyed the way he held her,
Saw things that changed the way in which he perceived the role of gender,
Learned from military school to never be soft and tender,
He prides himself on thick skin, says he's a real-deal contender,
Can't stomach a 60-minute interview; can't finesse a reply ever, lacks the splendour,
Ten minutes in with a woman interviewer who can think, oozing confidence and it's orangeman in the blender,
Me, I'm good with women, and my wife's my best friend, yeah,
See that connection with my lover's why I got humility to work under Obama, head down tough it out with ever-steady temper,
I put the blood, sweat and tears in, earned my way into the centre,
Trump came rolling in real heavy but failed to remember the reason the real G's at the top of the world can rule is because they stay quiet, subtle; slender,
Loudmouth, impulsive bigheaded, tax-evading, titty-groping, fraudulent pretender,
I don't need to point out emails, rumours or anything for your surrender,
I'll sit quiet with my mask, Whatsapp group-chat with Melania's ass clappin on the camera; should see the things us real men send her.

This barely conscious accomplice of a Do-Nothing Congress 
Has a fondness for bluffing I'm repugnant and monstrous
It's redundant and constant so no wonder I'm dauntless
But how dare he say that Mr. Trump has no conscience? 

I do have a few dollars but I connect with blue collars
Your kind does not bother with white people in squalor
So I riled them up while you did not think and grew calmer
Now they're all into me like ink at the tattoo parlors

Look I came here to verbally cut you like a handsaw
Not listen to absurd hyperbole from a grandpa
You stuttering, flustered, lackluster sucker
Repugnant butter knife motherfucker can't cut the mustard 

You sleazy politician should be admitting to forty scandals
I'm in a position to fuck you missionary like Stormy Daniels 
Let's see what you can handle - still I like my chances 
Thought I was cancelled but I came back like your kid's cancer!

Now I'm on the attack, gonna need an attorney for these slanders
I have your back against the wall like my name is Bernie Sanders
You'll be feeling my wrath unless you find a way to cheat 
In fact all these wide eyed voters - they should be ID'd 

And that'd be fine by me, I think I've done nicely
You're so plain you probably find ice tea spicy 
You've done dicey to put it concisely and mildly 
See that's precisely why my demise is unlikely 

You sleepy old, creepy arthritis-ridden, wheezy bastard 
Coronavirus barely took a toll on me - I EZ Passed it 
I'm strong, appallingly smart and right on all the issues 
You've been falling apart since the start like wet tissues

So check it - still 2 rounds to go and tomorrow's the election
Not too late to avoid sorrow with a concession
The people could barely palate or stomach your verbal delivery
Not enough Illegals in the country to cast a ballot for your victory 

Round 4

threats are fictional, this is an intense rap battle

I played nice, stuck to satire and the quips but what d'you take me for?
You bring my beautiful, brave deceased son Hunter into this and it's got to a level that I can't... won't, shan't ignore,
Grab a golf club, hand it to your bodyguard, whisper into his ear and watch him break your jaw,
You done pushed me D, time to take that mop on your head and wash the floor,
You dare bring family into the mix? You're an unwanted, vile son, brother and father - in - law,
You objectify your own daughter on national TV, the tears in her eyes she hides are only one way a man like you can make her sore!
Failure of a father figure in every sense, to hell with a wall, you need to build a bridge, not mend a fence,
Your autistic son became a political tool at his own expense,
Anti-vaxxing bullcrap about as valid as the idea you have ever in your life had anything near real friends,
All you know how to do is take cheap-shot-jabs, talk smack 'til my arthritic hand holds on 'facts' and cracks an argumentative whip on your back so hard, you're tryin' to stand but laying flat,
You're an immigrant to my home; the political dome and the throne I'm taking is where your mouth, sorry I mean ass is sat.

Joe your flow's like your brain cells: missing in action
Never imagined that I had all of this charisma and passion 
You thought I was just yapping, abysmal and vapid 
Now you wish I showed you compassion - listen you're crashing
You're slacking, what happened? Are you sleeping or napping? 
I go from 0 to 270 - hope your seatbelts are fastened
You are the passenger and I am the captain
You are the Robin and I am the Batman
Thought I was a madman - now who is laughing? 
You look just like Hunter with the way that you're cracking
It's no wonder that we all heard what just happened: 
Got your ass handed to you by a wordsmith assassin
Ate you for breakfast like dragons with reckless abandon 
Can't handle much more before this man demands a stand-in 
Got you flipped upside down like you're doing handstands 
Now don't get bent over backwards, we knew that would happen
You're a useless companion, an elusive loose cannon 
NOBODY thinks your foolish excuses are valid 
Get the memorandum: your shit is sad and it's random  
I got mot depth than you fathom like I'm the Grand Canyon  
All my punches are landing - I hope you're not saddened
The only solution was to own you like one of my mansions
Took you out, made it hurt like a painful extraction 
Can't look away from my words - they are Closed Captions
Couldn't stay away from the action, this fatal attraction
Like the way an 8 year old boy draws in Michael Jackson
You're a pair of pants with the way that you're slacking 
If you come back at me just know I WILL keep attacking

Round 5

Oh look! Biden is hiding while I am presiding! 
Making this easy for all those deciding! 
He is subsiding - the gap hasn't been widened 
He had to forfeit, the poor chap is frightened
Looks like I'll deride and chide him again
Until the voters decide that I win 
He is no president - where have you been?
Not making a dent, he's backsliding friend 
There's no making amends - let's not play pretend
I whooped his ass last round - now I'll do it again! 
My victory's on the horizon, so bright that I'm blinding
Feels like The Apprentice with the way I've been firing 
He wants to shut his eyelids where I am residing
But he's out of his mind if he thinks I'm resigning

Compared to my billions all you are is CHUMP CHANGE
Chuga Chugga Choo Choo - here comes the TRUMP TRAIN 
Don't whine cuz of your last round, yet another blunder 
Just like the sunshine I've been stealing your thunder 
You picked a good time to go back into your basement
Talking bullshit about me is quite the understatement! 
I think it's time you started to worry more about you
Every day of the year looks like you've got the flu
Your bitch ass is just as weak as your policy
That's why your cheap comedy never bothered me
Just stop telling these poor sheep you know that I'm broke 
And go back to sleep Joe, stop pretending you're woke
You're starting to look like your mom slept with her cousin
Come at me again and I'll piss on you like a Russian